>>944488525 (OP) #
Tits or GTFO

>>944488525 (OP) #
>she confessed to me that when we were kids, about 5-6 and 11-12, she molested me
Do you believe her about all this?

>>944488794 #
Yes I have no idea why she would lie about it. Things have been horrific for over a year now, I don't know why she would confess to something like this if it wasn't true

>>944488710 #
This right here anon is why you’ll almost get nothing from 4chan. I’m going through some shit too but find an actual therapist and get help.

>>944488912 #
Therapy hasn't helped me. The hospital was terrible. And I don't really have anyone anymore to talk to

>>944488912 #
>I'm going through some shit too
You will never be a woman

>>944488525 (OP) #
Justine??

>>944489005 #
Is there anyone else in your family you can talk about it with?
If your dad is sober now, maybe verify her story with him.

>>944489005 #
The hospital isn’t what will heal you. You need to find a therapist you trust and you speak to weekly at minimum. You’re not gonna heal here, everyone here is broken, it’s fucking 4chan. Trust me. I’m not going through what you are so I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling. But if you’re being honest, then you need to find someone to talk to.

>>944489241 #
Not really. I could ask him but I wouldn't want to escalate things if that's not what my sister wants. He doesn't really talk about anything anymore and when we do bring up the past he just gets weepy.
>>944489249 #
I don't know how. I have a psychiatrist now but she's very hard to talk to and every time I see her she tries to convince me to go back to the hospital. I can try to find a therapist but I'd need my parents to be somewhat involved because I'm on their insurance and my mom can't really stand to talk about it. She just says I'm "better"

>>944488525 (OP) #
>she molested me
What did she do to you? Did she say?
And how long did it go on for?

I (m) was molested by an adult man who was a family friend from the age of about 7 until about 9. He made me suck his dick and he would cum in my mouth and make me swallow it. My cousin (f) who was about 6 months older than me was being molested by her mom’s boyfriend at the same time. He did the same thing to her. We spent a lot of time together and eventually started having sex. She was my first nut and my first creampie. We had sex regularly until we were about 13 and she started fucking older guys. She got pregnant and had like 3 abortions. I used drugs and became a sexual deviant. Sometimes I still jerk off thinking about fucking her. It’s crazy how early sexual experiences can shape you. My cousin killed herself two years ago. I don’t think anyone knows what was going on to this day. She was 51 years old.

>>944489461 #
She said she would kiss me, finger me and hump me a lot for a while, like almost a year she thinks. She said usually with clothes on but sometimes naked. We slept together a lot back then. We stayed affectionate and cuddly until just over a year ago but I had no memory of sexual stuff.

>>944489612 #
Justine what the fuck??

>>944489612 #
I don't think you're ever going to be able to reconnect with her.
And unfortunately there's nothing you can do to coerce/convince her to go back to the way things were.
If she ever wants to she'll let you know.
Time to move on.

>>944490019 #
I don't have anything to move onto. I feel really hurt and abandoned all over again. My life is ruined and honestly I think it is her fault for basically lying to me.

>>944490105 #
She processed her trauma by traumatizing you. It's not easy but probably the first thing you need to try to do is forgive her. She obviously has some messed up shit going on in her head as well from what she went through. Time and space will ultimately help while you both heal. Forgiving her will be good for you more than anything else. It's not easy, but it is simple.

>>944490105 #
If you don't move on, you're just going to keep feeling hurt and abandoned.
She did what she did and unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it. You can forgive her or not, but you're just gratuitously handing your heart to her to step on as much as she can.
>My life is ruined
You're 20. Stop being melodramatic.

>>944488525 (OP) #
>she had been molested by our father
Details

If you can't drop it, just give it time - you gotta be strong if you really can't see any other way; your sister probably subconsciously wants it; given the way shes acting is probably more to stop herself. Especially with what she told you happened - shes the initiator but kept it secret.

>>944490312 #
I'm mad at her for reacting with disgust and shock when I told her I was in love with her, telling my family and essentially getting me locked up. I lost all my friends and dropped out of school. I'm not mad at her for molesting me.
>>944490341 #
I can probably find a new life but the one I had a year and a half ago is over

>>944488525 (OP) #
She's disgusted and horrified and ashamed by what happened to her and what she did. If you tell your family, she'll deny it and they'll pretend they don't believe you, even though they probably suspect. I'd say fuck them and drop that bomb, anyway, but this is all beside the point - the main issue is you were institutionalized and that is on your record. FIRST, you might want to quietly ask your sister to admit, to a therapist, what happened. I know jack-shit about the legal ins and outs of this situation, but you better look into it. And try to forgive her. This is gonna burn a hole straight through you, if you keep thinking about it.

>>944488912 #
>>944488525 (OP) #
>im gunna blog post about my sad life
>and ignore the core rules of the site
kill yourself then kill your sister faggot this isnt reddit

>>944490442 #
She did all of that because she molested you and is trying to hide from her own trauma. Point remains you should forgive her for what she did now as well and encourage her to tell the truth and get her own therapy.

>>944490490 #
I don't want to get her in trouble. If she still lived here maybe we could talk to someone together

>>944490668 #
You're right. I love her and I'm sorry this happened to her and she should hear that.

>>944488525 (OP) #
You need Jesus only some kind of rebirth can lift you from this situation you were born into and you or a psychologist can’t do it on their own with the limitations of human nature

>>944490929 #
Fuck off

>>944490929 #
This is great advice. Jesus saves and can heal the relationship between you and your sister as well. Don't write it off

>>944491017 #
No I will not Jesus can work on everyone’s heart at the same time in this situation. Miracles happen all the time

Trying to navigate it yourself and trying to make your sister feel a certain way or trying to force yourself to feel a certain way doesn’t work.
Jesus can lift your whole family’s heart at the same time

I promise just try

>>944491105 #
Again, fuck off

>>944491105 #
>No I will not
This is why everyone hates christ cucks.

>>944491142 #
I will kindly leave you to your thoughts but when you’re done being young with excess energy and struggling against tides becomes too much Jesus will float you home

God bless

>>944491105 #
I haven't had good experiences with religion but thank you.

>>944491170 #
Only retards hate the divine in any form Christ isn’t the only divine being but he worked wonders in my life and he can yours too

God bless

>>944491224 #
Good night :)

>>944491272 #
Fuck off
No one asked for your personal superstitions

>>944491378 #
Your type will rebel to anything

You can stop responding to me now and I will leave

>>944491519 #
You first
Also, fuck off

i hope your pet dies lol

>>944491591 #
>>944491606 #
See you will just rebel to anything
OP doesn’t need advice from a retard like you anyways

>>944491648 #
>rebel to
Fuck off, ESL

>>944488525 (OP) #
Fucking gen z and their litterally gay struggle sessions.

>>944491673 #
Are you sure this isn’t projection

>>944489480 #
Prayers for you anon
I’m sorry

>>944488872 #
Trying to make you like her less is possible. That is stupid though since it never mattered to you before.
On the other hand maybe she thinks she messed you up.
Far as I can tell aside from it being lesbian incest this is just a case of unrequited love. No need to add more drama. The fuck is a therapist or hospital going to do for watching the person you love most reject your affection?
At most they will drug you and tell you to deal with it.
As unlikely as it is fingers crossed you marry her husband and have a happy life with her and him.

>>944489612 #
cute. ask her to show you how she did it, say its part of therapy

>>944488912 #
We have different boards for a reason.

>>944488525 (OP) #
Unironically, play Adventures in Loliworld by ShinyDevon, which has a plot somewhat relevant to your story, but much... cleaner, and set much closer to the molestation, It also asks the question "what do you want to do when you know death is near and inevitable?"

I don't know if it'll help you or hurt you. I don't know your path forward. Do you want to understand her motivation for throwing it all on you and making you suffer? Do you want to hug her again? Do you want to never see her again? We all make mistakes, sometimes big ass, get drunk, roll the car, and make your friend a paraplegic mistakes, but we also all only have one life. What do you want to do with it going forward?