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[–]Consistent_Ad_8656 210 points211 points  (6 children)

Brutally honest and even sympathetic, but this is the kind of thing you tell your friends during a camping trip or at a bar, not on a public forum with your real name

[–]Flat-Antelope-1567 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's the really sad part. 

[–]TheReal_Rock_n_Rolla 26 points27 points  (0 children)

None of these guys have real friends. Just transactional / single-serving acquaintances they meet on their social climb/grind.

[–]delTaWhy303 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You nailed it

[–]Tsuraraa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I came to post exactly this but less eloquently worded. I sometimes feel this way but I am going to text my other dad friends, bitch and moan, then move on quickly vs having my feelings around for eternity on twitter dot com to eventually brain warp my kid.

[–]lilbitchmade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. It's a fucked up premise, but I can't judge his feelings. It's one thing to admit you don't like your bitch ass son, but it's another to air it out like a spectacle.

[–]BackloggedBones 199 points200 points  (2 children)

He should get a nanny and governess so they can mind the children until they are to be presented to their parents briefly before dinner.

[–]WiretapStudios 58 points59 points  (0 children)

One child tries to wave at the dad, he looks sternly at the help who hastily lowers the child's arm and ushers them away to bed.

"Whew, that was a close one" the dad says, as he goes back to watching a Marvel trailer on his phone. "Better make another 1300 word post on X about it."

[–]a_stalimpsest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

George Banksmaxxing.

[–]AbelianLoop 94 points95 points  (2 children)

BTW it's so wild to read the bluecheck discourse on his post. You've got crypto bros telling him it's not a good look, Andrew Tate telling him to impregnate other women and neglect those kids too. I would legit KMS if this was the product of the "work" I prioritized over my child

[–]Smart_Library_545 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Yeah that was the funniest part, clicking on his profile and seeing he’s a humanities guy. I assumed he was stemlord code grinding type, man is neglecting his kids to read about history

[–]AbelianLoop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao I was surprised too

[–]wasdqwe1 318 points319 points  (4 children)

NTA

You dont owe your 4 year old son anything!

[–]Appropriate-Talk2372 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Go no contact with both kids

[–]deathcabforqanon 52 points53 points  (0 children)

It's called establishing boundaries

[–]exalted985451 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Your son sounds like a narcissist. NAL and not your lawyer but you need a restraining order IMMEDIATELY.

[–]MaarDaarPoepIkUit 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Especially when they bring bad vibes

[–]KantCancelMe 255 points256 points  (0 children)

They never should have increased the character count on Twitter

[–]Accountant-According 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Men like him are supposed to put down the return of investment scenarios of fathership on an Excel spreadsheet before having a child in order to draw the conclusion that parenthood is not for them and to not participate in the program.

[–]guerito1968 103 points104 points  (1 child)

Not now, son. Daddy needs to make some shitty interstitial ambient loops for his weekly 240 minute podcast. No, not later, either. Later Daddy is interviewing Nietzschean Femboy, a twitter anon.

[–]Acrobatic_Schedule_2[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

lmfao

[–]PMCPolymath 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Blue collar kids constantly get the ol' "fuck off dad's tired/busy/grumpy" who is this neurotic?

[–]the_clam_farmer 85 points86 points  (9 children)

Huh, my father used to drag me outside and force me to play catch under threat of punishment, for upwards of a half-hour, whipping the ball at me increasingly harder every time I complained..

Haven't thought about that one in a while 🤔

[–]Wooden-Committee4495 21 points22 points  (8 children)

Not being snarky, but genuinely curious, do you have a good relationship with your pops?

The whole “free-range parenting” nowadays is almost a complete 180 from the whole Tiger Mom playbook. Some structure and forced sport are good for childrens’ development. Lord knows my ma and pa forced me to do things…wasn’t really good at most of them, but it encouraged me to figure out that I never had the makings of a varsity athlete well ahead of tryouts.

[–]JoseAltuveIsInnocent 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I had the opposite experience, my parents were young 20s gen Xers and basically bought me video games and let me do whatever I wanted. I was smoking cigarettes and ignoring homework by middle school. Ended up getting a GED and having a kid at 16. It was the house my friends all came over to to smoke weed and drink, that should tell you everything. I resent them for not doing what your parents did but the older I grew the more I figured out that they were basically just undiagnosed mentally ill people doing their best. It could have been a lot worse. At least I had a roof and food.

I have 3 kids now and plan on being like your parents. Maybe a little less harsh. Maybe it's a grass is always greener mentality.

[–]Wooden-Committee4495 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I mean, they signed me up for soccer and baseball. I wasn’t really good at soccer, but they told me I had to finish out the season because then”team needed me.” I laugh about the last part because I was incredibly useless, but I learned that the “team needing me” was the commitment I made to be part of the team and I can’t just drop out because I said I would be there.

I don’t have kids, so it’s always “grass is always greener.” I think there’s some happy medium and most parents try to improve upon or correct things they experiences during childhood. After all, parents are really just like us: winging it with the hopes they are doing it correctly.

[–]the_clam_farmer 14 points15 points  (5 children)

We run hot and cold but its mostly cordial these days. His father was a WW2 combat vet with severe alcoholism, so I understand where his parenting 'style' may have derived from. I will say though that once I hit my teen years I rebelled hard. I was kicked out after graduation for smoking weed in the house which led me into doubling down on bad habits and shady characters. It was many years before I had my shit "together" (still working on it frankly). I was "forced" into doing a lot of things, and for a few- I'm thankful for. But there was also a heavy-handedness that most people these days would call physical abuse. I didn't know any different at the time. It resulted in me learning how to do things under-the-radar, how to sneak around and such, ruining any sort of honest dynamic between my folks and myself for many years. I'm not a parent myself, but I do see the value in discipline, yet there is a line somewhere that when crossed begins to yield diminishing returns.

[–]IndustryPlant666 0 points1 point  (3 children)

WWII vet..? How old are you?

[–]the_clam_farmer 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Mid 30's

[–]IndustryPlant666 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Interesting, you must have older parents?

[–]the_clam_farmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, upper 60's. Actual boomers haha. It's been a ride.. We're all a little faulty, they know they fucked me up a bit and I know they didn't have a how to manual. You live and you learn, sometimes with a good bit of lag in-between. I was certainly a shit-head son at times as well 🤷‍♀️

[–]GrapefruitOriginal31 29 points30 points  (0 children)

He would rather suck Curtis Yarvins dick

[–]tin-f0il-man 63 points64 points  (0 children)

life could always be worse, you could be this guy’s wife

[–]obinaut 40 points41 points  (0 children)

imagine being the kid's mother and reading this

[–]Akina_SpeedstarsRic Flair 121 points122 points  (12 children)

We as a species need to suffer at some practical level cause at what point does the comfort get to where someone can make a post complaining about playing catch with their kid on a picturesque street and not appreciate that moment. 

[–]StrikingCoconut 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Women do it too. Every day on TikTok is like a competition for who can complain about motherhood the most. As someone who dealt with infertility, feels bad man.

[–]pbnotorious 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Imagine this monster as your mother

[–]FLTOLYMP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow this is grizzly; the heart of a dead-beat dad with the brain of a selfish woman

[–]TheReal_Rock_n_Rolla 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These people are all just fucking selfish, me first assholes who haven’t grown the fuck up and still think the sole point of life is their personal pleasure and benefit. Completely entitled narcissists who want to invest in nothing but themselves and any inconvenience that doesn’t directly derive benefit to them is suffering.

[–]don_dripacaspergian -4 points-3 points  (7 children)

That's literally the point of his post. Did you not read it?

[–]Akina_SpeedstarsRic Flair -1 points0 points  (6 children)

Which part?

[–]don_dripacaspergian 40 points41 points  (5 children)

Literally the first sentence, for starters. The whole post is him struggling with the fact that he can't appreciate the moment despite it being beautiful and picturesque. He's not complaining about playing catch, he's worried by his apathy. Are you sure you've read the post?

[–]Acrobatic_Schedule_2[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

what he is describing is resentment, not apathy

[–]welcometosilentchill 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Bro should see a therapist not espouse this publicly on twitter. That to me is the overwhelming “comfort” with the situation.

We can debate his words, but the reality is that social media is not a good place to talk about bubbling resentment of your child and growing apathy of fatherhood for all to see. He is trying to logic his way around legitimate culpability and responsibility over the situation, rather than put in actual work to get at the emotional core of the situation (I don’t buy the answer being “idk I would just rather work”).

Even if he says he feel shame, there’s a clear lack of it on display. Using twitter responses and like ratios as an alternative to counseling for this situation is kinda psycho lol.

[–]Normal-Door4007 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Isn’t this what Americans are supposed to write novels about? Or at least screenplays.

[–]welcometosilentchill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Death of a Sales Development Representative

[–]Akina_SpeedstarsRic Flair 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did read the post and no, I don’t consider his self-centered whining on Twitter as suffering. 

[–]AbelianLoop 66 points67 points  (8 children)

Very sad. This is how a lot of academics are though. I was at dinner with a scientist who got asked something about his kids' school, and he responded laughingly with "I don't know anything about their schooling, my wife handles that"

[–]BackloggedBones 47 points48 points  (5 children)

This is very normal I’d imagine. My wife’s coworkers are shocked that I know how to grocery shop, or can put my daughter down for naps.

[–]AbelianLoop 60 points61 points  (4 children)

True, but there's something uniquely cursed about an "educator" who is proud to have zero involvement in his own children's education 

[–]Coalnaryinthecarminesecretly canadian 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I don't think academics really view themselves as 'educators'

[–]AbelianLoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Teaching is at least 40% of tenure-track job responsibility in the US, so yes they are definitely educators. Now whether they enjoy/take seriously that job function, that's another story. Edit: and this Justin Murphy guy that OP posted describes himself as a full-time writer and teacher, so he also nominally fits into this category 

[–]BackloggedBones 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah when you put it that way

[–]SpeakAbtDestruction 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most academics aren’t there to be educators, in fact, a large portion of them hate that they have to do that and don’t like organized learning at all. They’re there to do research, and have to teach, not the other way around.

[–]fjrjdjdndndndndn 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is how a lot of fathers are in general. They just don’t express it on twitter in such a descriptive way.

[–]obinaut 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"independent scholar"

[–]guerito1968 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It’s funny that writing this is the referenced “work” that he’d rather be doing.

[–]SellingForBaby 33 points34 points  (0 children)

everyone is too fucking neurotic

[–]clxmentiinekaczynskist 34 points35 points  (0 children)

not now timmy. i'd rather write a twitter post intellectualizing the fact that i am selfish

[–]Deathdrive69 62 points63 points  (7 children)

This is insane. Dads historically love leaning into their kids insane play scenarios. What dad wouldn’t like to play tea party or make poop jokes with their kid?

Always knew this guy was an insane larper

[–]obinaut 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I think it's just innate biology to be silly around your child

[–]Rumpleforeskin_0 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I get a humiliation fetish vibe from him

[–]xinxinxo 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You knew of him before this? Do you know what his extremely important work and accomplishments are?

[–]Deathdrive69 1 point2 points  (1 child)

He set up this dumb arranged marriages thing and his argument was that arranged marriages work out so well, so him setting up strangers would too. Very trad larper it was insane

[–]xinxinxo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He also self published a book called based deleuze

[–]the-great-pussy-rub 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have so much fun with my 2yo that I can't even imagine how much fun it'd be with an actual kid or teen.

These people are deranged.

[–]Inner-Sink6280 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not true at all. I’d even argue those dads are in the minority

[–]FutureRealHousewife 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Maybe the child has bad vibes

[–]GRF999999999 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Dad?

[–]artiscoolandstuff 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Save it for LinkedIn, Justin.

[–]Sprengus 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Literally the only thing I want to do is not work and hang out with my kid all day. Fuck these people, sincerely.

[–]phainopepla_nitensoverproduced elite 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This guy's entire thing is going viral with provocative or inflammatory posts. He even wrote a blog post on his method years ago. In other words, it's bait 

[–]0pal7 20 points21 points  (0 children)

this made me so sad ….. wow

[–]Dylankneesgeez 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Who said parenting is supposed to be fun for the parent? It's like Jeff Tweedy said about addicts, they need to unlearn the assumption that life is supposed to be consistently fun. Or like Thich Nhat Hanh said, you need to think about your time with your kids as your time. In other words, adjust your mindset now that you're a parent. Parenting is rewarding but there are only moments of pure fun. Kind of the inverse of what you remember from childhood, when much of life is pure fun, or should be.

[–]Axe2red12 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Concerning!

[–]CoalSmoocher 7 points8 points  (0 children)

this guy has been a fail quail since like 2020 when he interviewed Alex lee Moyer jr on his shitty podcast

[–]Only_Cash_7160 6 points7 points  (0 children)

this guy is a known freak

[–]TomHardyDSLs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Am I just a monster?

most self-aware twitter user

[–]Agent_Chody_Banks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of my dad, though it flipped when I became an adult and now he begs me to make time for him.

[–]Cold_Enthusiasm9151 13 points14 points  (0 children)

 what a waste of the word anguish. 

[–]bong-stress 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's 10 more minutes a day than I had with my dad

[–]Wooden-Committee4495 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My first thought, and really the only thing I care about, is when this poor kid finds this post on twitter or his classmates show it to him. The da,age on his psyche will be profound.

Clearly, this man loves his son…but something is off. I think it’s because he is so wrapped up in online discourse, engagement, and quick stimulation that his job and upvotes/engagement give him, that he’s unable to savor the little enjoyments in life.

I no doubt believes he loves his son and family, but his fucking mental state and attention span is shot to shit with being terminally online that he’d rather be somewhere else…posting, or counting his lil updoots like a greedy king Midas.

I think we will probably see a lot of this with PMC fathers who are terminally online. Bet this guy has not read a paperback book in years or gone without his phone for a day 😔

[–]bubblegumlumpkins 19 points20 points  (2 children)

There’s something so perversely wrong about modernity. Idk if its our waning attention spans, this mutated sense of “individuality” that has fallen off the cliff of ruggedness and into something wholly demonic tbh, technology, microplastics, backlash from some deep Father wound, consumerism, or what, but there’s just a deep deep rot that feels beyond the individual and including humans as a whole that we seem to just…continue to rocket the entirety of civilization towards.

I think what bothers me most about the current ethos, is the entitlement. The rationalization and justification people will armour themselves with. It’s narcissistic in the most original sense of self development where people never seem to evolve past being able to accept and integrate into a world in which they are not the center of. There are also a scary number of just dumb people in the world. Technologically and medically, we might live in the “best” of times, but as it relates to the human part of existence, this is honestly the fucking worst time for any of the intangibles and unquantifiables that make life, life.

Feel sorry for the kid because he 1000% knows his dad hates him, even if he can’t articulate such yet for himself. Should be criminal to bring innocent life into the world that you end up leaving fucked up, and worse off than when they first started.

[–]the-great-pussy-rub 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I remember back in the day when many pieces of shit would acknowledge they were in fact pieces of shit but that they didn't care.

Nowadays you see all these regards coming up with the most insane psychological and evolutionary and historical and biological and cultural reason as to why they are pieces of shit and why it's fine actually.

[–]Dylankneesgeez 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol at this being the worst time to be a kid. The concept of deserving a wonderful childhood didn't really take off until the Victorian era. Kids have been abused, ignored, and overworked for much of history.

[–]perfumenight 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Men with daddy issues:

[–]earthlike_croak 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Justin Murphy has always been a little too public about his struggles with fatherhood and equal parenting. It brings him into conflict with his mostly rightwing stoicbro followers who in admonishing him self-report they have a Filipino wife who is left to do the household labour and child rearing. He has a video documenting what it was like to "fall off" (in his words), having his internet clout diminish due to the demands of parenthood.

He's always on the cusp of understanding something real - that his youtube content or X following is not real work worth neglecting a child for, or that being a parent is at odds with grind culture, or that the conservative ideal of family/fatherhood that rightwingers claim as natural domain is largely founded on the unrecognised labour and ego/career/time death of their wives - but that understanding never arrives.

[–]Adventurelynd 28 points29 points  (0 children)

We need more people being honest like this.

[–]grim_bey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We need a Manhattan project for getting people like this to shut the fuck up.

[–]MyLastSigh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I personally can't stand parents who bitch about having children

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 34 points35 points  (36 children)

Real and honest. Historically, parents were not their kids’ playmates. The modern helicopter parent culture is just nuts.

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 60 points61 points  (5 children)

There’s a middle ground between being a helicopter parent and posting publicly that you don’t like spending time with your kid. Surely this dweeb can muster up some interest in his flesh and blood for more than 10 minutes a day.

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Well it sounds like he is trying. He just said his ideal play time would be 10 min. I don’t think we know from the post how much time he actually spends every day. It seems people are uncomfortable to learn about the realities of child rearing but it’s an endless dull slog that mostly women had to deal with. By acknowledging the reality of it, we are also helping women. (I am a woman)

[–]OkPineapple6713 10 points11 points  (1 child)

He sounds unimaginative and boring. If you’re a fun person and have a sense of humor you can have fun playing with children. This guy is just a boring nerd.

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah he seems like he sucks. I just refuse to go along with this holier than thou “family values” bs this sub often promotes. People being real about parenthood will help other parents and those on the fence about having kids.

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(We know)

[–]the-grand-inrizzitorGNARLY, RADICAL, ON THE BLOCK I'M MAGICAL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least he seems concerned and wants to change. That's not great, but it's a start. Some people take pride in being deadbeats, if they acknowledge it at all.

[–]Original-Raccoon-250 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Right. My parents didn’t give a fuck about us. I am not sure they liked us at all.

[–]AbelianLoop 12 points13 points  (1 child)

How did you turn out?

[–]Original-Raccoon-250 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’d say fine. I’m not close with them at all though. And I’ll never have kids, by choice.

[–]obinaut 19 points20 points  (4 children)

playing with your kid is not helicopter parenting

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Not necessarily but it’s become an expected norm of our helicopter parent culture and you’re not just supposed to do it, you’re also supposed to ENJOY it lol. He doesn’t enjoy it and I’m not sure why people are up in arms about someone feeling a certain way. I’m sure some adults like it more than others, but he doesn’t, and many feel the same way.

[–]obinaut 16 points17 points  (2 children)

helicopter parenting is about overprotecting and micromanaging children. Playing with your child is just being a parent

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Well, he plays with this child. He just doesn’t like it. Why are people judging him for feeling this way. Boggles my mind. It seems you wanna argue over the “definition” of helicopter parenting. That aside, the crux of the matter is that it’s ok not to enjoy kid related activities.

[–]obinaut 17 points18 points  (0 children)

yeah, suck it up, and don't post about it, it's fucking embarrassing

[–]0pal7 14 points15 points  (15 children)

but 10 minutes a day is crazy

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 13 points14 points  (14 children)

I think he said that would be his ideal amount. But it sounds like he is trying to engage more than that in his day to day life. Why is it so hard to accept that someone feels a certain way, admits it, but still aspires to do the “right thing” in real life, aka play with the kid. It’s beyond judgmental to accuse someone for feeling a certain way. Not everyone likes kid shit, I certainly do not because it’s boring and like him, I’d rather do anything else. Which is why I don’t have kids.

[–]bubblegumlumpkins 18 points19 points  (12 children)

This person has a fucking KID who did not ask to be brought into this shit world. Yeah, you’re allowed to judge a fucking narcissistic piece of shit who’s trying to couch his narcissism in pseudo-anthropological academia to excuse his anti-social behaviors.

If he was sharing this in the privacy of a close friend, or support group, or godforbid, a fucking therapist, that would be one thing, but he posted this 1) for engagement and 2) to have other anti-social weirdos (which you sound like) yaaas queen him about validating his felt experience, and creating a non-judgmental space as if he isn’t responsible for a whole ass human life who can absolutely pick up on the fact that his dad fucking hates him.

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 11 points12 points  (11 children)

Im sorry but you cannot judge someone for feeling a certain way. Why do you care so much? He had the kid probably not knowing he would feel this way. It’s probably very common and other people who feel this way will appreciate reading his post (which I also think is dumb). And it might help others not to have kids they don’t really want (aka avoid a lifestyle they don’t really want).

[–]Acrobatic_Schedule_2[S] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

I'm sorry but you absolutely can judge a man's character by how he expresses such feelings and what motivated him to do so in the first place. allowing that level of resentment to fester, toward a fucking toddler (and presumably his mother by proxy) is not 'brave' nor 'helpful', it's just despicable. if he genuinely cared about fixing it, he would've done some introspecting before it got to that point.

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Take a look at the regretful parents sub. Thousands and millions of people feel this way. They might not have expected to feel this way, they hoped for a fairytale life…but they do feel this way. It’s just life. Wishing it wasn’t this way doesn’t make the reality be any different. Some people have kids not knowing they would actually dislike the lifestyle and no amount of trying will make them like it. Therapy is mostly to accept they don’t like it and it’s who they are.

[–]Acrobatic_Schedule_2[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

you're missing the point and should stop commenting on my post thanks.

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Lol I am not missing the point. I just don’t agree with your point. You can’t wish away other people’s complex feelings about parenthood. They might try their best and still deeply dislike it. As I said, look at the regretful parents sub. It’s very common. It’s human, though not ideal.

[–]OkPineapple6713 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are boring yourself then. If you love your children you take joy in playing with them and watching them play, it’s that simple. Of course sometimes it’s boring or you’re not in the mood but this guy never is and just doesn’t like it period. Something’s seriously wrong with him.

[–]charles12347890 11 points12 points  (0 children)

How he feels is how I imagine most fathers felt throughout history, honestly

[–]portcoquitlamsniper 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Unironic Justin Murphy defenders, sub is really G & D

[–]shortestnightoftheyr[🍰] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have no idea who this guy is or what his background is

[–]Accurate-Pension3683 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This sub will be calling this guy a freak (he is somewhat extreme in his dislike of his child, I’ll say that) and then wonder why everyone under the age of 25 is unbelievably immature, stunted and seemingly terrified of adult life. Helicopter / “involved” parenting has been horrendous on the general state of the youth.

[–]Corbellerie 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Since when is "helicopter parenting" synonymous with playing and enjoying spending time with your kids? My father was born in the 1950s and he has plenty of fond memories involving his parents, who btw were not particularly enlightened or progressive or anything. Why do you think immaturity correlates with more involved parenting and not, say, the increasing social isolation?

[–]violet4everrnice-maxxing autistic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This just reminded me that one of my happiest childhood memories is my mom and dad taking me and siblings out to play kerby and tennis for literal hours every day in the summertime. It was amazing. And afterwards they’d go drink and smoke at the neighbours house. Loser.

[–]fjrjdjdndndndndn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Could have put his coffee in a thermos and enjoyed it while playing catch.

[–]aldezar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He needs to go no-contact with his toxic 4 year old

[–]ThetaPapineau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

70 minutes a week with your kid is insane. Although I guess you can achieve this by going to jail.

[–]Ben_Ulrand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe shut the fuck up and do your job as a parent or don’t be a parent? This guy thinks he’s a thought leader but didn’t have the forethought to consider what parenthood would be like.

[–]the_scorching_sun -1 points0 points  (7 children)

Dirty secret is that whether a dad plays ball with his kid or not doesn't mean anything to the child, it all depends on the overall atmosphere in the family.

If he's a neglectful dad, he can play with them hours a day, and they will still grow up to hate him, and if he's caring he can see them once a month, and they will adore him.

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Yeah, all those kids who adore their deadbeat fun dad who shows up once a month never have any issues.

[–]the_scorching_sun 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I would say deadbeat falls under the "neglectful" category.

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I know. I’m saying it doesn’t matter if they “adore” him if he’s only there once a month.

[–]the_scorching_sun 0 points1 point  (3 children)

what's the sign of being a good parent if not whether your children carry love in their heart for you, end up adoring their parents versus despising them? a father can be totally a perfect parent even if only they see their children once a month. it's not to do with the time spent, it has to do with the overall dynamics within the family.

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Children “carry love in their heart” for shitty parents all the time. That doesn’t make them great parents. You can’t be a great parent without being there. Obviously, divorce and shared custody happens, but that’s an extremely difficult compromise for the very fact that you won’t be around as much.

If you can’t see your kid more than once a month for whatever reason, it’s admirable to try to make it work, but don’t kid yourself.

[–]the_scorching_sun 0 points1 point  (1 child)

> You can’t be a great parent without being there.

yeah, very much disagree. there's parents who see their kids daily, and they are awful. there's parents who, for whatever reason, end up being less involved, and they can be very good parents. raising a child is a totality, and meaningless crap like tossing a ball around or playing with them matters the least.

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sounds good man

[–]Beautiful-Coconut-96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most chill Austinite

[–]Coalnaryinthecarminesecretly canadian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, he really fell off after Bon Iver

[–]gargamael 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the soulless bugman you all warned me about

[–]softpowers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn dawg just tell your kid you want to finish your coffee first and then you'll play with him. Why doesn't he try to get his son to participate in his own interests so that he can bond with him over that stuff in addition to what the kid likes? People who are terminal navel-gazers should simply not be parents, there's zero way he didn't already know how he felt about caring for children before he decided to have unprotected sex

[–]ColdRamenTPM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

turn off the wifi and think none of these things

[–]reallystevencrowder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not reading that much text from this moron but the funniest thing I’ve ever seen from him was a video (that I believe he’s now deleted) where he’s “reviewing” Capitalist Realism and states that it’s “Making the case for why capitalism is the only possible system for society.” and he’s so proud of himself when he says it.

[–]sparrow_lately 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes I’m bored or frustrated by my son. But then I remember he’ll only be this little once. And how much he needs me and how much it matters that he knows I care about him and how happy he makes me. So hell yeah brother let’s knock the tower over again/help you with your toy/rock you back to sleep/change your diaper while you actively try to flip off the diaper table to your death.

I know what it feels like to have a parent feel annoyed and frustrated by your presence. It’s hard.

[–]obinaut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wait a second this is the dickhead who wrote Based Deleuze?

[–]sunlit_portrait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to play a ton of catch with my dad. I loved it. I wish I still could. That doesn't mean each and every time was a Hallmark moment. Sometimes he was probably bored, or didn't care, and sometimes I didn't want to play. It's a good exercise to just be with your kids. Even if it's just about sitting around and telling them you don't want to do something. Sometimes kids have to spend time with you and that's fine.

[–]egg_breakfast -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

let men feel things ok?

but seriously I feel for this guy. hustle culture has infected his brain. I have to assume he’s not talking about wanting to work on hobbies, housework, or home improvement.. he means that he wants to do work for his employer. how does he correct this mindset and find some zen? It’s not obvious to me, but do you know?

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure this guy’s literal job is “independent scholar.” He’s a tedious wad with a patreon.

He won’t play catch with his son because he needs to post more drivel to fuel the discourse. It’s like a fucking MDE sketch.

[–]Cold_Enthusiasm9151 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Men have gotten away with being deadbeats for so long, being a decent father is praise worthy. Your comment is nonsensical 

[–]Resident-Sherbert-89 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

To be fair dads and kids don’t really mesh till they have a personality or physical ability. Dads like to do things with kids. You still have responsibility emotionally and for their safety, and what he said should never be spoken or written down. You should strive to give your children everything they need and give them what you didn’t get.

[–]p_a_i_n_t_w_o_r_k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be fair dads and kids don’t really mesh till they have a personality or physical ability

Four year olds have personalities and the whole post is about playing catch