Democracy Dies in Darkness

Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend feels more secure with ‘real girl’ than with stunning ex

After meeting boyfriend’s “strikingly beautiful” ex, she learned it ended because he was so insecure about losing her.

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(Illustration by Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
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Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Aug. 12, 2011.

Hi, Carolyn: I just met my boyfriend’s ex and was pretty blown away — she is beautiful like a model and perfect in every obvious way (funny, they have great chemistry, she’s smart and about to become a doctor). No problem, he broke up with her for a reason, right?

What readers are saying

The comments largely focus on the concept of "alchemy" in relationships, emphasizing the importance of genuine connection and mutual respect over superficial attributes like looks. Many commenters criticize the boyfriend for his insecurity and backhanded compliment of calling the... Show more
This summary is AI-generated. AI can make mistakes and this summary is not a replacement for reading the comments.
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Carolyn Hax started her Washington Post advice column in 1997, after five years on the Style desk and none as a therapist. The column includes cartoons by "relationship cartoonist" Nick Galifianakis — Carolyn's ex-husband — and appears in dozens of newspapers.
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