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  1. heated rivalry
    heated rivalry
  2. byler
    byler
  3. my hero academia
    my hero academia
  4. stranger things
    stranger things
  5. ao3
    ao3
  6. the owl house
    the owl house
Danny: My upstairs neighbor kept me up by stomping around at two am again.
Tucker: I thought you lived on the top floor?
Danny: I do.
Tucker: Then how-?
Danny: Wait for it.
*Thump thump thump thump*
Tucker: What is that!? Mutant rats!?
Danny: I wish. *opens window* RED HOOD IF YOU KEEP STOMPING ON MY ROOF, I'M GOING UP THERE AND PUTTING YOU BACK IN A GRAVE
Red Hood: COME AT ME!
Danny: *crawling out window* I WILL
Tucker: *yanking him back in* No, he won't! Sorry, Mr.Hood! He's not in his right head!
Red Hood:....who are you? I've never heard your voice before. Are you his boyfriend?
Danny: HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. IM SINGLE AND CAN KICK YOUR ASS
Red hood: OH YEAH!? I KICK YOURS AND TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT!
Danny: YEAH!? WELL I CAN TAKE YOU ON A LONG WALK ON THE BEACH!
Tucker: What's happening
Red Hood: PROVE IT. TAKE ME OUT.
Danny: I WILL. FRIDAY. SEVEN. BE HERE.
Tucker: Are you flirting? Or are you scheduling a fight?
Danny: Not now, Tuck, I've got to prepare for Friday. Grab your wallet, we need to go shop for a date outfit.
Tucker: It's almost midnight!
Danny: Damn....let's got rob a clothes store.
Red hood: I HEARD THAT
Danny: WHAT ARE YOU A NARC!?

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

it actually is insane to me that it's a cultural norm for men to suck ass at getting their wives/gfs gifts. especially when they whine about how they have no idea what women like.

man, you're not getting a gift for Female Domestic Partner. you're getting a gift for Natalie, a person whom you have been married to for 7 years, whom has lived in the same home with you for a decade, whom speaks to you every day about her thoughts and interests, whom you presumably love, and whom you can directly or indirectly ask what she wants. it's not that you don't know what half the human population wants, that's irrelevant. you don't know what Natalie wants and that is inexcusable.

everyone deserves a lifechanging lesbian experience. not a woman? simply have a lifechanging experience with a lesbian. im thinking a noble quest or hiding a body together or something.

hey, tumblr user anonymous here, just so you know one of your friends wants to blow up the moon so you should probably cut her out of your life and stop supporting her. yes obviously there's evidence for this, we have screenshots where she says "a lot of people think that I want to blow up the moon but that's not true", so basically she's completely mask-off about it. so yeah if you don't stop associating with her I'll have no choice but to assume that you too want to blow up the moon and I'll have to inform everyone else you associate with so they know how dangerous you are. thanks!

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes