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What Sex Work Taught Me About Boundaries (That Your Therapist Won’t Tell You)
Glennon Doyle teaches boundaries. A sex worker shows you how to put them into practice.
Once a client asked if I would stay the night. I said no.
Not because I didn’t like him, he was polite, clean, paid well, and safe. But because staying wasn’t part of our arrangement, and pretending otherwise would have ruined everything we’d built in that evening together.
He thanked me. Said it made him feel better knowing exactly where he stood.
That’s when I realized most people have boundaries completely backwards.
Boundaries Don’t Push People Away. Uncertainty Does
In sex work, ambiguity is dangerous. Not knowing what’s allowed creates anxiety for both parties. The client worries about crossing a line. I worry about what he might assume. Neither of us can relax.
The moment I clearly state what is and isn’t on the table, something shifts. His shoulders drop. He stops testing. We can both be present because we know the rules.
Your relationships work the same way.
