By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history.
Learn more
Your lists
Create a new list
Under 100 characters, optional
Copy link to Tweet
Embed this Tweet
Embed this Video
Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
Sigh, I was hoping not to have to do this, but now that the other party in this is publicly discussing her side, I need to be transparent and accountable while defending myself (and hopefully not make the situation worse). [thread. cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I'm not going to name her, but she has chosen to discuss the incident and name me, so I feel I have no choice but to respond, and to do so publicly in order to explain my view of the circumstances and clear my name. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
This attempts to describe a consent accident that occurred on November 3 in Zurich. I'm going to try to, as carefully as I can, conduct a blameless retrospective about what happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I have known the person who accuses me of sexual assault for over 8+ years. And relevantly, she has known that I once had a psychiatric service animal, that that dog recently passed away, but that my family still has another dog. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
And conversely, I have known for the 8+ years that she has an intense phobia of encountering live dogs in person. What I did not know, and what she did not communicate, is that her phobia also extends to encountering dog hair on clothing [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
You can probably see where this is going. I thought she was aware that there was a dog in my house, and that there might be some residual dog hair on my clothing.
I asked if I could stay with her and she said yes. Ditto playing. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
Afterwards, she noticed that there was dog hair on my clothes, which she had not noticed before, and had not communicated to me was going to be a problem, despite us socializing for days prior and her seeing my clothing beforehand. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
If I had known that her phobia of dogs extended to dog hair on other peoples' clothing, I never would have asked to enter her home, or to play. However, there is literally no way I could have known, and she did not communicate that need. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So, her cPTSD was triggered, she reacted as if I had sexually assaulted her, and... here we are. Rather than letting rumors spread, I'd rather be proactive and communicate exactly what happened, why someone might accuse me of assault... [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
She genuinely believes that I have sexually assaulted her. And I considered her a friend and am genuinely sorry for what she's going through, but feel that a blameless perspective would try to examine how the miscommunication happened. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
In my view, this was neither foreseeable nor deliberate. I sincerely wish that we had each communicated our circumstances and needs better, but there is nothing I can do about it now that the damage has been done. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I hope that she heals. I understand she may need to talk about it in order to heal or get closure. She has asked me to never contact her again, and I am doing my best to abide by it (Slack missing a block feature notwithstanding). [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
but I also cannot allow myself to get smeared without stating what my experience/viewpoint was, nor can I allow myself to be the target of attempts to psychologically harm me in return. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
I understand that she's feeling suicidal and traumatized, but... it is counterproductive to try to attack me to the point of me becoming suicidal too. This was always going to be a mistake I was going to regret for the rest of my life :( [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD]
So I don't know what to do other than be clear and transparent to the community, and... otherwise try to give her space.
if this results in consequences for me, then they very well may be consequences I deserve. You be the judge. [cw: allegations of sexual assault, cPTSD] [fin]
(note: please please please do not try to identify or deanonymize her or take any action against her. the last thing I want is a further escalation of the situation. all I want here is for things to deescalate and for both of us to heal from this. it's a shitty situation.)
In short:
(1) Liz lives with a dog. Liz's clothing has dog hair on it.
(3) Liz had consensual sex with someone.
(4) That person has phobia of dog hair and didn't say so.
(5) That person thinks Liz deliberately/maliciously got dog hair on her.
(6) She accuses Liz of sexual assault
6 replies0 retweets9 likes
Show this thread
End of conversation
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.
word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word word