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Being autistic in a neurotypical system feels like using right-handed scissors as a left-hander
I’ve spent so much of my life trying to survive the “neurotypical way” of doing things, not knowing I was autistic until my mid 30s.
We’re expected to mask, copy their social rules, bend ourselves into their structures, and somehow act like it’s normal. But no one ever talks about how exhausting that actually is.
Neurotypicals have never had to mask for us. They don’t know what it’s like to sit in a room full of people who operate completely differently, suppress everything natural, and perform all day just to get by. For us, that’s everyday life.
Living in their world feels like being left-handed and given right-handed scissors. I can cut, but never smoothly — every edge is frayed no matter how hard I try. And they look at my messy paper and assume I’m clumsy, instead of realising the scissors were never made for me.
And then they wonder why some of us can “work” but don’t last, don’t get promotions, or end up long-term unemployed. It’s not because we’re not capable. It’s because the constant effort of just existing in that system drains us.
Companies will throw out the odd glossy post about “celebrating neurodiversity” or tack a D&I policy onto their website. But on the ground, nothing really changes. We’re still the ones doing all the adapting.
I want to say I’m proud of the autistic women who manage to hold their ground in those systems and stay in their jobs — that’s strength. But I’m just as proud of the women who step out and carve their own path outside of those rigid structures whether unemployed on PIP or freelancing, that's strength too. Both are valid. Both are powerful.
We are not failing to fit in. The system is failing to include us. And until that changes, we’ll keep getting written off as “too much,” when really, we’re the ones exposing how shallow and rigid those systems actually are.
Just do a quick analogy.
Animals are used in mass for meat and other resources which clearly means this world is not a place full of spirituality and love.
This is just an obvious signal that tell us that there is this hierarchy that gives you a free pass for violence, depending on how the system is working and your position. So as neurodivergent people, we will experience unfair power dynamics.
Like in some countries its legal to kill gay trans people, you can get no punishment for it.... The system allows for it.
But violence is always bad according to spiritual and moral terms, here is where light brights in my heart.
This world is a place where ignorant blessed people claim their false throne while they are alive, enjoying dominance and the freedom to be violent toward those that are despised by an unfair system. It happens in all kinds of forms, including neurotypicals bullying you, family members abusing it, all kinds of forms.
They enjoy power while their meat persists, but in my views, once they are dead, they get reborn in unhappy future existences. I believe in karma.
Death is game changing in a world where people do unfair things as long as their meat persists, without meeting much consequence for it, because its the evil doers that know if there is good results for being good while alive, they are not gonna have it.
Once the evil know real death, they know their place. That being said, its obvious there is a long long long period of time before evil has actual unhappy results for that evil person, people will be assholes, will get a free pass for it, will mistreat and abuse you.
But those who insists in being rude and mean, those who enjoy killing you inside with their actions, they will eventually meet suffering if they find no good friend to help them stop. And I am not sorry if I am not one of those friends, I am sorry I have to deal with those mean hearted people, because I prefer peace and they choose to harass me.
They will never know the cool world I built inside me as long as they insist in this meaningless violence and competition.
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So glad it helped 💜
Using right handed scissors hurts like hell too after a few minutes. Pity we can't put down the autism like you can put down the scissors.
I went to a supportive school, I remember learning to use scissors... There was a lot of, "oh poor her, she's left-handed of course her cutting looks like shit." I got special scissors bought for me, I got special twirly shoelaces because it took me longer to learn to tie them (that was probably poor fine motor skills from autism though), my neat handwriting was highly praised because they assumed it took me 10x the effort to do, and I was never asked to write on a whiteboard or chalkboard because it smudged.
I hope one day I'll get similar concessions for autism but I highly doubt it.
Yeah that’s exactly why I used the scissors analogy — you can do it, but it’s never smooth, and people blame you instead of questioning why the scissors weren’t made for you.
And you’re so right — it sucks that autism doesn’t get those same simple concessions when it should. I feel that doubt too, but I do think one day it’ll shift, just like left-handed scissors eventually became normal.
I wish I could give you one of those shiny reddit reward badges! Well said, OP. I really needed to read this 👏 🩷
It's so funny, I literally used this analogy the other day. The whole world is designed for right handed people, by right handed people. This is spot on
This is such a great analogy, OP! I am late-diagnosed AuDHD, and the only reason I really began to uncover my neurodivergence was because my years of intense high-masking were starting to take a physical toll on my body. I've managed to maintain a marriage and a great-paying career for 10+ years, but I've struggled with migraines, TMJ, teeth-grinding, endometriosis, POTS-like symptoms, eczema, IBS, chronic fatigue... Not to mention the other mental health issues like chronic people-pleasing, disordered eating, depression, and anxiety 😅
My left hand is metaphorically mangled and arthritic from contorting itself to use the right-hand scissors.
I feel this so much — masking really does wear the body down over time. What you said about your left hand being metaphorically mangled is spot on. It’s like society lays out this one rigid route from birth, and if we don’t hit milestones their way there’s barely any support, especially for autistic women. That’s exactly what I was trying to capture.
Actually your analogy fits so well. Even though I myself don't really mask (partially because I'm more between level 1 and 2 than square level 1, and partly because I had hearing difficulties as a child due to severe glue ear which set my social development back even further).
Yeah, that makes sense — it really shows how different all our paths can look depending on what else we’re dealing with. I’m sorry you had to go through that with your hearing as a child. Yeah, at the core it’s still the same thing: systems not being built with us in mind.