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Slackjaw

Medium humor. Large laughs.

Classic Smoking Scenes From Movies, Reimagined With Vapes

Of all the vape dens in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

4 min readJust now

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Photo by Madeleine Maguire on Unsplash

Interior, Le Cercle Club casino. The room glitters with high society. Cut to the high stakes table, where a WOMAN in evening dress has only a few chips left.

WOMAN: Carte.

The CROUPIER slips her a card. The WOMAN smiles confidently and reveals her hand.

CROUPIER: Three of a kind.

A murmur of approval from among the crowd. Then the MAN seated opposite reveals his hand.

CROUPIER: Royal flush.

Some gasps and light applause as the CROUPIER rakes her last chips towards the MAN.

WOMAN (to her aide): I’ll need to borrow another thousand from the bank.

MAN: I admire your courage, Miss….?

He reaches for something in his dinner jacket.

WOMAN: Trench… Sylvia Trench. And I admire your luck, Mister…?

Cut to the MAN’s face for the first time as he raises a Blue-Razz Mango Elf Bar to his lips.

MAN: Bond (low battery beep)… James Bond.

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Eli Burnstein

Written by Eli Burnstein

Glasses type. Humor writer. Book Dictionary of Fine Distinctions now available. More at www.eliburnstein.com

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