r/moraldilemmas

Choosing not to have children because this world sucks and they’ll inevitably suffer?

OR

Having children and giving new human beings the chance to experience life?

I’m still young to have children, but I find this (much simplified) dilemma a very difficult one. It’s especially hard given the current global instability and the rapid way things are changing… The future seems scary…

What are your views on this?

Let’s say that you’re a passenger on a plane that is falling from the sky and is doomed to crash, and next to you sits a man that is somehow managing to sleep through it all.

That man is traveling all alone and would not be able to contact his family in any form if he were awake and therefore my question is:

Would you wake him up or let him sleep through it?

EDIT: Everybody on board are certain to die.

Hoping you guys can help me with a bit of a quandary.

I have boycotted a major confectionary company in my country for many years now for ethical reasons. They used to use a company for taste testing recipes who had some very unethical practices and I refused to fund that by purchasing there products.

I recently discovered they have sold the company and the new owners ended the contract with the unethical company a year or so after purchasing.

Would it be morally acceptable to eat their confectionery again now?

I can live without it but man they make good sweet treats and are the only company that make one particular chocolate I miss like crazy (I make it occasionally but it takes a full day to make and a night to set)

Throwaway account, because I'm on NDA.

However, I work as a freelance tech consultant, and one of my most consistent clients pays me around $500 for each delivered presentation (google slides powerpoint). Usually, my work is directly with the tech company or entrepreneur, which I originally thought this person was.

However, I realized this individual works for a much larger organization that has some accolades and much better branding than me, and charge their clients around $2,500 for each delivered presentation.

It doesn't change my life much, as I still get work at my rate. However, I realized the company was using their branding and "expertise" on their website to justify their high cost, but what their customers are getting just comes directly from me.

It's possible they're editing the powerpoint before passing it on to their customers in which case they're probably adding value, but I don't know for certain.

Should I just forget about it? It seems a lot of the economy runs like this, such as companies buying from manufacturers for cheap and then reselling for 10x.

Or would it be unethical for me to keep working with this company when I know they are unnecessarily upcharging their customers (who could instead work with me directly for 20% of the price).

*edit - spelling error

* Information -- just for clarity, my moral dilemma is more related to my client's customers rather than how much I should charge. My client's customers are paying a premium price because the organization has great branding and promises their expertise, but I've learned they're just using my work under their "premium expertise" label instead of doing it themselves, despite me having way less expertise than them. How much I'm getting paid doesn't bother me in a moral sense. I'm more bothered by the idea that I'm contributing to an unethical business practice involving false advertising.

There are three kinds of selfishness: individual, group, and species.

Individual selfishness is where an individual treats others the way he or she wouldn't want to be treated by others.

Group selfishness is where some group of people or a country or a group of countries treats other groups on the same organisational level the way they wouldn't want to be treated.

And species selfishness is where the human species damages habitats and causes extinction of other species for their own benefit.

this isn't a confession of intentional wrong doing, just to help understand whats wrong with me

its getting to the point where im crying multiple times about this. i havent been able to let this go since august

is my reaction warranted? or am i doing too much? i have bawled my eyes about this multiple times, i've called several hotlines in tears, and i dont know if that's normal considering this isn't on purpose.

this has bothered me everyday since august.

i was hanging out with my sister the other and we were playing and my hand accidentally touched her chest. it wasnt my intention at all or sexually motivated, and ive been freaking out. i pulled my hand back but didnt say anything, but mentally i was freaking out and was mortified. ive been doing things like replaying the event in my head. basically we played cops and robbers, im the cop, and i was behind her trying to put her hands behind her backl, when i went to grab one of her arms, it was in front and i accidentally touched her chest. i know for sure like 110% certain that it wasnt intentional and had no sexual purpose. this has been pissing me off and bothering me every day since it happened and ive bawled my eyes out and cried multiple times over it. but i dont know if me feeling guilty about this and crying and stressing about it from morning to night is an overreaction or not considering i know its an accident. i literally feel so dirty and gross, and i dont know if thats warranted or not. i wish i said sorry but in the moment i was too shocked too speak so i said nothing. this was in august, and it has been bothering me every day since, BADLY. ive cried about it multiple times and thought about it from morning to night non stop, and called many hotlines. sometimes i feel something weird in my chest and it gets hard to breathe.

since around that ive noticed similar things have been happening over the last few days, but they have never been intentional. never at all. idk why it keeps happening but im not doing it on purpose, idk whats wrong with me.. i keep thinking im doing something illegal and things like that and ive just been freaking out. i keep thinking what if this is child m*lst? or sexual interference? or csa? im an abuser now? i mean i know im not a p or some kind of pred, and its an accident by why does it keep happening even if it isnt intentional? what if this really affects her in the future?i know in my heart of hearts that genuinely it was an accident and not sexual. but what if she doesnt know that? what if she remembers this in a few years and thinks i did it on purpose or something? or for sexual pleasure which ofc i didnt. what if she think its on purpose and i go to jail? im panicking bad now, should i leave it alone or bring it up.

i asked some other people in other subs they said its intentional or im creepy or its a fetish and i know that genuinely none of those things are true, or "dont touch people without consent but its not like any of that, they said keep my hands to myself but i know its not intentional.

some of the other times its happened are like this:the other day, we had to go out to get her hair done so i had to hold her hand as a safety measure. so bc of that we'd have to be close to each other and alot of the time we would bump into each other

,or for example the other day i wwas trying to push move her away with my arm but part of my arm ended up on her chest which i didnt mean to door another time i'd walked behind her and i think my hand brushed by her skirt, which was again unintentional.

or we were arm wrestling and i was pretending to let her win so i'd kinda shake my hand aggressively to make it look like a struggle, and in doing so it touched her chest for like a half second

she slapped my hand, and it jerked my other hand and it hit her somewhere i didn't want. i didn't even think of moving my hand, i believe it just happened cuz of the original slap even tho it didn't hurt

or she was sitting at the edge of the bed and i was at the top, lying down, and my feet hit her butt

or the other day we were at a store and i was standing by a shopping cart that she wanted to push, so she aggressively grabbed it as a joke. and then i did it back, but when i did it back part of my hand or arm or whatever incidently touched her chest. again unintentional.

or we were arm wrestling and i was pretending to let her win so i'd kinda shake my hand aggressively to make it look like a struggle, and in doing so it touched her chest for like a half second these are some of the ones that are causing me alot of distress. with all these it aint on purpose but i keep noticing it and dont know why

this was months ago and i was very on the fence about apologizing. and just stayed silent about the entire thing. on the one hand, i thought if i didnt apologize then maybe she'd remember it in 10 years and maybe think that it was intentiional or sexual, when it genuinely wasn't and it'd negatively impact her life which is the last thing i want. but on the other hand i thought if i did apologize then it'd plant a seed of fear or doubt in her head about me, and maybe she wouldn't trust me or something. i chose to apologize. the first time i brought it up, i asked if she remembered when we were playing cobs and robbers and i tried to arrest her(since that was the one that bothered me the most), she said no. i didnt ask any further but then the next day i asked her the same thing, and she said remembered us playing it 2 months ago. i said i think i accidentally bumped her chest that day, and said sorry, and that it was an accident. she said "mhm" a couple times cuz i kept repeating myself, and that was it. but i still think it'll bother me internally maybe? im not sure. and im not sure if apologizing was the right move to make or i should have left it alone? and idk if i should bring it up with my mom and say i apologized for it, or if i should just shut up. was apologizing the right move? could there by any cons to me apologizing?

another thing is i asked other people, and they called me a chomo, and that fucking HURT. i know that it can't be that. i had no intent, and i know that it isn't premeditated, and i KNOW that it isn't thought out. but i dont understand why it feels like it keeps happening and i fucking hate it so much. and what if what they said is true? or my thoughts are true?? and another thing is. i dont know how to deal or cope with how what people said is online forever now, and that hurts. and i also recently started a new chapter of life. and now i feel like whenever i think about the beginning of that chapter, i'll just think about this situation and how its bothering me, or how those comments about *me* are out there forever, even though they aren't true. it hurts, and i dont know how to cope with it.

i guess my main reason for posting is asking if there could be a con to apologizing? and how i can deal with the comments. also if u respond to this saying im doing it on purpose, but passing it off as an accident, or i wanted it to happen, or saying its an "accident" you're getting ignored and blocked because those things are just simply not true and isnt helpful.

Note: I am not against any gender or the clothing they choose to wear.

My Dilemma: Nowadays, due to social media and the influence of forward-thinking women, deep or low-cut tops have become a common sight, and I have no issue with that.

However, my dilemma is this: Is it appropriate to wear a deep-cut top to someone’s funeral, or have societal norms evolved past that concern?

The system fosters a herd mentality - meaning popular opinions of the group as a whole is what gets the positive karma. Those willing to go against the grain are see their karma go negative merely for providing what the masses deem as an unpopular opinion.

I had the post about meeting with the inlaws, I have to say it went probably as good as it could have. This is a very basic rundown, lots of detail left out as I could write a book on my weekend.

My wife's nerves were on the edge the last few weeks and Saturday morning proved painful, but valuable. She was pretty choked up at first, so I had to read a single space 2 page document giving the highlights of her father's wrongdoing over the first two decades of her life. That was fucking hard, I was delivering a message that would crush this man's life. I told him to his face that he should have never met his grand kids, walked his daughters down the aisle or been there for his son's wedding- he should have been in prison for all of those events.

She took over after I was finished and let loose on her parents, we could both tell her mom legitimately had no clue. This man's lies covered everything inside the house, absolutely insane to me. She was so sorry and kept apologizing for all the damage done.

Afterward my wife was like an angel to me because I had stuck with her through all of this and rarely skipped a beat in supporting her. Lost my own identity in the process, I am working on that.

then Yesterday she got into a funk and turned against me after not getting responses from her siblings. Everything being my fault and so on, I go from being on top of everything to feeling squashed and nitpicked all over again. I'll give her a few months to sort things out, then I am done tolerating that behavior.

We got a call after church (different town) and her mom wanted to meet up and speak with her alone in private. They talked in her car for over an hour. Her dad became suicidal that night and was going off the deep end. Sounds like she may or may not leave, ready to sell the house etc.

The whole day I did not know how to feel about it all, part of me felt bad that his life was crashing in on him, part of me felt like he got what was coming and legally he deserves much worse than just everyone finding out after beating on his family and abusing my wife for all this time.

I think maybe this mixed limbo feeling of being so torn is God's way of saying 'I'll take it from here.'

I’m trying to figure out if there’s a kind way to say, “I can’t be your main emotional support through this divorce,” or at least set some boundaries without blowing up our relationship. Has anyone had to do this before?

My sister is going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage. Her husband cheated and left right after their only child graduated high school in May and left for college. So she got hit with two huge life changes at once: divorce and becoming an empty nester.

She really struggled. She couldn’t stand being alone in the house, was crying a lot, and clearly needed someone around.

Since the end of July, I’ve been spending every weekend with her. Sometimes she comes to my place, sometimes I go to hers. She doesn’t really have a friend group, so I’ve basically become her only person.

Here’s the complicated part: we’ve never been close. This is probably the most time we’ve spent together in 40 years. Our parents divorced when we were young, she lived with our mom and I lived with our dad, so we kind of grew up in different worlds.

On top of that, we’re very different people. She’s very into scripture and prayer; I’m more meditation and “the universe / fate.” She’s Lilly Pulitzer, I’m cut-off shorts and tank tops. We love each other, but we don’t naturally “get” each other.

I work 10–12 hour days right now and I’m exhausted. I miss having my weekends to myself. I feel like I’ve gone from 0 to 100 in terms of emotional caregiving, and I’m starting to burn out.

Example: my friend is hosting a Friendsgiving this Friday. My sister invited herself when I mentioned it. I really don’t want her to go , that’s my one space to relax and be silly with my friends, and not be “the supportive sister” all night. But I feel guilty even thinking that, because I know she’s hurting and lonely.

I’m afraid to tell her I need some space, but not saying anything is making me resentful and more stressed.

So to preface , I don’t want to force someone to be in a bad spot especially now with the way the world is and I do care about this person but I’m at my limit and feel morally torn . A few years ago I took in a friend who was in a crisis . They needed somewhere to go urgently because they were being kicked out of their own housing . The only requirement for them living here was to know this was not a permanent housing solution (which they understood and agreed with) and while living here they need to be actively bettering themselves to get back on their feet . So here we are now years later. No job , not looking for one , denied disability , does not contribute to anything financially other than keeping themselves supplied with drugs , sometimes they buy their own food , and in my opinion dumb shit someone with no money doesn’t need to be buying (lingerie,decor,etc.) Not to mention small inconsiderate roommate behavior like waking me up every night at unreasonable hours . “Shared” pets I purchased for us both to take care of and love have been completely absorbed into my responsibility due to the fact any task left for them to take care of leads to neglect which I have no tolerance for . I have to continuously parent a grown adult to clean up after themsleves to the point where I just do everything myself or force them to clean . I’m at a point where I’m looking into homelessness resources like rapid rehousing programs for them because I’m so close to kicking them out for my own sanity . I’ve had countless conversations with them about my grievances which leads to nowhere either because I’m too nice and they blow me off by telling me what I want to hear or they shut down the second they perceive it as an “attack” and tell me how I’ve hurt their feelings which leads to ME having to apologize and just let shit go . I own my house , there is no lease or living agreement never has been so there is technically no legal issue with me kicking them to the curb but I don’t know . How would any of you proceed to deal with this ?

So, my mum has a friend who works at an opticians (at a separate branch than the one I go to). Apparently, my mum asked her about my recent appointment, and the friend actually looked up my record and told her details about it without me knowing or giving consent.

I tried to contact the friend directly to talk about it, but she’s been ignoring me. I’ve been advised to contact the actual optician branch, but I’m really conflicted. I don’t want to cause problems for anyone or make things awkward for my mum. We already have a strained relationship and I don’t want to damage it further.

At the same time, I feel like this is a step too far. It’s my personal information, and I’m worried that if I let it go, it might happen again in the future.

Would it be wrong to raise it with the branch just to make sure it’s handled properly, even if I don’t want anyone punished? Or should I just leave it and move on?

Will Rogers said,

"If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics."

There's also a saying that war is continuation of politcs by other means.

Which means that politics and war are of the same kind. The only difference is the methods they use. Politics is verbal fighting, and war is physical fighting.

So, it's fair to say that politics is war by other means. Its aim is to damage one's opponents, just like in war.

And there's also a saying that in war, truth is the first casualty.

That's why politics is full of lying and misleading. It's not that there bad politicians who lie. Politics itself requires lying and lying is an essential part of politics.

But the question is whether this form of government is ethical?

Isn't this the reason why we have so many international animosities and wars, and sometimes civil wars within countries?

So this is gonna be a convoluted explanation of my intentions but basically I am making a concept album that tackles the struggles of OCD and anxiety. I’ve spent a bit of time trying to create a visual representation for music videos and album visualizers.

I had this idea of using the imagery/an outfit based off an effigy or “voodoo” doll. The idea being that the hypothetical versions of me i am anxious about existing due to ocd are hurting me and i (through compulsions) affect them back as i live my life. It also plays into the confusion of not knowing which version of me is the “real me”.

After starting the outfit to some satisfying results (it looks very cool so far). I am beginning to realize this could be an offensive image to use given how modern “voodoo doll” imagery is based on race-ist and inaccurate stereotypes perpetuated about Haitian voodoo.

This ironically feeds kinda well into the themes of the album as it does tackle struggles with faith/deconstruction. The church similarly mischaracterized OCD as demon possession during the Middle Ages.

None of the albums lyrics make reference to voodoo atp but there is a recurring theme of the “somewhere else’s” which represent the alternate universes of potential that exist within my imagination. This visual would just be a very effective metaphor to get a cross the themes so it’s just kind of a bummer if I can’t use it. Not nearly as much a bummer as race-ist Europeans using propaganda to teach the world poc’s religion is “dark magic” but still.

Had an old friend hit me this past weekend saying he was opening his book (gambling website) up again… $500 limits, tax free, blah blah the whole 9. In which I responded I will text you if I want a login. He quickly responds with a username and password for “when I’m ready” lol. Can’t make that shit up

So a few days pass and I login to see what it’s about. I go up $5 on some slot I used to play and call it a day. Few more days go by and I get back on. Start playing the slot and go down a couple hundred. That’s when I noticed my limit has been changed from 500 -> 1000. Needless to say I burn through that and now am looking at a -1000 balance on a book I wanted no part of.

Having some moral battles internally on as to if I’m in debt that full 1000, pay the original balance or just burn that bridge for the sliminess from a “friend”. Let me know your thoughts

So this is a bit random but I collect old electronics, radios, jukeboxes, those kinds of thing. Last week I stumbled on a gambling machine for sale from the 90s. It's one of those flashy chrome ones with lights and wonky sound effects and it immediately caught my attention because it would look crazy incredible as a display piece.

But here's the problem: I’ve always been vocal about how gambling ruins lives. My cousin went through this really bad addiction phase and I’ve even given talks about how predatory gambling apps are. So now I feel conflicted, if I buy this machine, even if it's just for decor, does that make me a hypocrite? Am I going back on my values?

A friend said I’m overthinking it, that it’s just nostalgia. It's no different from hanging up a neon beer sign but part of me feels like owning it does say something. It’s not neutral, you know? Especially when I see the same models being mass produced and resold on sites like Alibaba, almost like the aesthetic of gambling is being rebranded as 'cool retro tech'.

So yeah, am I overthinking this? Is it possible to appreciate something’s design without endorsing what it represents?

With the development of AI, it seems that people are losing their faith in God. This will be a serious blow to the morality of society. We need to think about this.

So I (19f) am really confused and kinda grossed out by my mom lately and I dont know if I’m being too harsh.

My mom left my real dad when I was really young and got with the man who basically raised me since I was a toddler. He’s always been my dad figure. He took care of me, helped raise me, and never treated me different than his own kid (my younger sister). I moved out last year and had a baby, so I’m on my own now.

A while ago my mom started saying she wasn’t happy anymore and wanted to leave my stepdad. She told me stuff about how she was talking to other men behind his back and was “emotionally cheating” (her words). I didn’t wanna know that but she just kept telling me.

After she finally left him, it’s like she turned into a different person in like a week. She got Tinder, started going out to meet random guys, told me she did party drugs at some rave, and kept telling me all these details about guys she’s talking to or hooking up with. I didnt ask. I don’t want to know this about my mom. She even said she wouldn’t tell my younger sister any of this because it would hurt her, but somehow she thinks it’s fine to dump it all on me.

Meanwhile my stepdad and sister have no clue. When I’m with them I feel like I have this dirty secret I shouldn’t know. I feel sick and honestly I don’t even recognize who my mom is anymore. I feel like my whole childhood was a lie.

Now I kinda don’t want to talk to her at all, but she keeps saying she’s lonely and I’m the only person she can talk to. I feel bad but I also feel disgusted and betrayed. I don’t wanna hear about my mom’s sex life or dating life or whatever.

AITA for pulling away from her and not wanting to hear this stuff anymore? Or am I just being judgmental?

TL;DR: Mom left my stepdad (who raised me), immediately started seeing guys, partying and oversharing all the details with me. I’m uncomfortable and don’t want this relationship with her.

This will be a slightly long one so bear with me.

You are living a normal life, married with a spouse and have kids of your own. You have a stable job, a good social life, and you are content with the way life has been going. One day you get kidnapped by a stranger.

A decade has gone by since you’ve been kidnapped. During this time, your kidnapper (K) has subjected you to immense physical and psychological torture. The police have conducted searches and lookouts for your whereabouts for the first 2 years, and finally decide to leave the case unsolved due to the lack of any credible leads. Your disappearance has garnered national attention, and your spouse, refusing to give up, has gotten a petition signed for one last search to be conducted.

K, however, is a super genius. K has kept you hidden in an untraceable location, and there is genuinely no chance that anyone even comes close to discovering it. Hearing about this final search, K comes to you with a proposal.

When K abducted you, K themselves went off the grid as well, leaving their life behind them. This led K’s friends, family and police to believe that K was another missing person too. Whilst torturing you for the past decade, K has been setting up fake evidence and basically created a fake story where you are the abductor and K is the tortured victim. K has prepared so much material that when discovered, you will be believed to be the culprit without a doubt.

K hands you a knife and gives you three options:

1. You can choose to kill yourself. K will provide the police with leads to the location and spin a story that you committed suicide in desperation due to fears of being discovered. K will be celebrated for “surviving” the horrible ordeal and you will be disgraced as a heartless kidnapper and torturer. Your family will also bear the shame of your “crimes”.

2. You can choose to kill K. K has a system set up to alert the police to the location when they die. You will definitely be found by the authorities, and due to the overwhelming “evidence” that K has prepared, you will most definitely be charged with kidnapping, torture and murder and sentenced to death. K becomes remembered as a victim of a tragic crime, and you will once again be disgraced as a horrible criminal. Your family will also be shamed as well.

3. You can choose to do neither, and let K torture you again for the next 30 to 40 years. K promises you that afterwards, they will let you go and turn themselves into the police. You will return to your family and friends with unimaginable trauma and live a miserable life until you die, but K will be revealed to be the heinous criminal that they are and you will be known to be the victim of the terrible crime.

This is your last chance to carry out any of the 3 actions. What would you do? Does K’s action towards you justify your actions if you choose to kill them?

Some people claim that economics is just a tool that can be used either for good or for bad. It has no ethical implications built into it.

But this idea is clearly false.

Because a tool doesn't have a purpose or a goal. A hammer for example you can use to hit nails, loosen some part that doesn't move, or break nuts, and so on.

But economics does have a purpose and a goal.

The primary goal of economics is to manage resources efficiently and to generate profit, often with the aim of economic growth and development.

Economics is more accurately described as a system of tools, ideas, and rules designed to achieve its economic goal and purpose described above.

And the thing about morality is that it's also a system of tools, rules, and ideas to achieve its moral purpose and goal.

The goal of morality that encompasses all people is to promote the well-being and flourishing of human life on all of its levels, including individual, family, society, and the species.

So, economics and morality are two different systems, with different goals and purposes. It doesn't take much imagination to understand that sometimes they can be incompatible and contradictory with each other.

Slavery is one such historical example. When slavery existed in USA, then its proponents argued that their slave economy was going to collapse, if they eliminated slavery.

And they were objectively right in that. Because they didn't have the technology, and they depended on poorly compensated human labor. They've built their economy around slavery, and they depended on it.

A modern example is extreme poverty and inequality that can result from unmitigated economics, without ethics.

The poverty, the homelessness, and the suffering that results is clearly unethical, but economally sound.

Imagine your girlfriend is cheating on you, she asks for forgiveness. Instead of breaking up you agree to stay if she agrees to have a threesome with you and some other chic, you get her pregnant infront of yo gf and then ask your gf to pay for her plan b (your girl really wants you to stay and is emotionally dependent on you) would that be morally better than breaking up?

I recently met this girl who I had thought might’ve been single by the way she was talking when we first met.

Turns out she has a boyfriend but I have grown to have some sort of feelings towards her. I respect the boundaries of her relationship and didn’t want to pressure anything. I didn’t want to ask for her socials even and then I eventually ended up with them. (she gave them to me, I did not ask).

Now I can’t help but find pictures that she sends to be really cute. I want to reach out/compliment her but it just feels wrong to do that to someone who is in a relationship.

I think even a friendship would be cool but it is hard to think about that when I find her to be quite attractive. The more we talk the more I think I might like her. So far our friendship is growing super slow because I want to keep my distance but I yearn to just even talk to her now.

I’m really torn on this.

Edit: Thanks to those for help keeping my head straight. It is just a crush after all and I’ll continue to keep my distance. I was NOT trying to give the impression of wanting to ruin her relationship. That was not my intention in my poor wording.

Zafar went to a remote village to visit his friend Said. The village was so underdeveloped that it didn't even have a real doctor. Unfortunately, Zafar got a bad toothache. He put up with it for one day, for two days... but on the third day, he couldn't take it anymore.

No matter how much he searched, he couldn't find a doctor, except for one old man. The old man was a former World War II veteran. He hadn't worn a doctor's coat for 40 years.

Zafar started crying:

— Doctor, I'm dying! Please pull out my tooth!

The old man said:

— I haven't been a doctor for a long time. I don't have any tools, and I don't even have painkillers. If I pull your tooth without medicine, it will hurt a lot!

Zafar was in so much pain that he couldn't think straight.

— Doctor, I'm dying!

Said also begged:

— Please help my friend, there's no one else here!

The old man said:

— Well, if that's true, there is one way to do it.

He brought a pair of pliers and a large needle. He told Said:

— When I give the signal, stab the needle hard into Zafar's butt. When he feels the pain there, I'll pull his tooth. For a moment, his brain will be tricked and he won't feel the toothache.

And that's exactly what they did.

Said finished the "mission," and the old man pulled the tooth out from the root.

The old man asked, proud:

— So, Zafar? Did my method work?

Zafar, still shocked, said:

— Yes, doctor! I didn't feel any tooth pain! But then I realized something.

I'm 50 years old, and I just found out that a tooth root can reach all the way to the butt! 😂😂😂

ive been on other accounts and made this post far too many times but i dont know what else to do anymore, im just gonna be as clear as i can for the last time. hopefully i get some advice with it this way

now im 17, but when i was 15 and i think also 16 i would go onto reddit communities where adult as far as i know were looking to sext and mutually masturbate and id message them, either that or id make a post. when doing this sometimes theyd ask my age and i didnt always lie, near the end i was honest or stopped messaging them, however at a lot of occasions theyd ask my age and id say some lie that i was 18 or above, i don’t remember specifically as this was a while ago. a lot of the time they didnt wanna clarify age, we just got straight into things, however i still see it as wrong since i withheld? i think, my age.

once we were past the lying or withholding of my actual age we’d “sext” and mutually masturbate over these messages together, very rarely were pics ever sent however the ones that were i delete very fast when we finished our activity. doesnt justify it of course.

due to the fact i lied about my age to engage in this, and also they may have not agreed to do it if they knew my age, and it could be considered a sexual act. i thought this would be a form of rape/sa, maybe like rape by deception. and the thought of this crushes my soul which is why its still on my mind. i heard its a common thing among people my age but i still cant play it down in my mind.

i hope some people can give me the moral, legal ect interpretation of this as the thought of it being any form of rape/sa is really scary for me.

also wanna clarify i didnt directly damage anyone as far as i know since they never found out my age, and id never try and do anything like that plus i cant since the accounts are gone

also i just wanna say the mutual masturbation is why i see it as a form of rape or sa since we engaged in sexual thing i guess, not the sexting itself

ive been told its not that serious, its common, its just harmless fun, i should just let it go and learn, but i just dont know if its that way or simple

I’m 18m and I live with only my mom I still come into frequent contact with my dad but they are divorced (bad terms they hate each other) so I’m just living with my mum full time. They had gotten a divorced around when I was 12 so I have been living under my mum for quite a bit now. I will admit my mum has done a lot more for me financially and in other senses and she has brung up the topic of me switching my last name from my dad’s to her maiden. My dilemma is that my dad is from Europe and has a very rare last name which I want to hold onto as I wouldn’t want the name to die out while my mother has a very common Asian surname. Now I know the name isn’t all abt rarity but I’ve also grown up with that name my whole life so it feel right to me but again my mother has sacrificed a lot for me so it’s out to respect. I don’t know how to feel abt it I jsut need some other thoughts on it.

Sorry for bad writing I’m not the best at writing

My friend recently has been trying to reconnect with me after I stopped talking to them earlier this year.

He got a new girlfriend and since then has been spending all his time with her and never wanting to do anything or play games with me anymore.

I got tired of this and ended up ignoring him for three months. However he has been trying hard to reconnect with me because we had been friends for 13 years before this so we have definitely got a history.

I want to reconnect but I also don’t want to feel like I’m an afterthought anymore. What do I do?

(To preface I had asked him three times on three different occasions if he wanted to meet up but each time he said he would but didn’t)

So, for context, next month I have 2 parties at the exact same date and time. One of them is the last college party between my group of friends (which we've been planning for a couple months, ever since we graduated). The other one is a birthday party for my youngest cousin (he's turning 10yo). Now, why am I having a dilemma? Both parties take place in 2 different cities at the same time. As I said, my friends and I have been planning our party for a couple months, we arranged that exact date because is the only day every one of us will be available and well, we want it to be special since it's the last one of the year. Then, tonight I just found out that my cousin's birthday party will be taking place on the exact same day and my family is intending in not making any other plans for that weekend, prioritizing my cousin's party above everything else. I've talked with my family very briefly about our college party but I haven't said anything about the date yet. Personally I wouldn't like to attend my cousin's party because my relationship with my extended family isn't very good to begin with (even though my cousin and I get along pretty well), but now that I hear my parents' stance about the birthday party, I feel as if I have a moral compromise to attend my cousin's party even if I don't really want to. Plus, the birthday party takes place in our family's hometown, which is like, 3 hours away from our city (when driving), and I really don't like traveling there. What do y'all think? How would you deal with this?

So long story that I’ll try to sum up shorter. (Names changed for privacy reasons) Me (Josie) and my friend (Linda) were best of friends since 7 yrs old and done everything together growing up until about age 20. Linda got a job and became friends with (Emily). after about 2 years Josie and Linda had a falling out over little petty stuff that was mutual (that didn’t involve or have anything to do with Emily) but after a year Josie and Linda patched things up and were back being friends again like once before but Emily said that Josie was not a nice friend and held a grudge towards Josie and when they would both attend Linda’s parties Emily would go out of her way to make Josie feel extremely uncomfortable so for 20 years Josie didn’t attended any of Linda’s bdays or party invites because of the extreme anxiety Emily would make her feel due to being awful to her and Linda said she would not choose between them and just invite both of them knowing Josie would not attend due to the poor treatment of Emily if she attended and it gave her anxiety and upset her badly. During these 20 years Emily took Josie’s place amongst Linda’s family and became good friends with all Linda’s friends and family with Linda’s family loving Emily and she could do no wrong which made Josie feel even worse. fast forward to the other day when Linda has asked both Emily and Josie to be in her bridal party (there are 10 bridesmaids in total and Emily is friends with them and Josie only knows the maid of honour who is also good friends with Emily) Linda is fully aware of how Josie feels and how she is incredibly anxious (medicated) and how upset Emily makes her feel. So Josie was explaining to Linda how she doesn’t think she can’t be a bridesmaid due to the anxiety and upset Emily makes her feel and also how Josie also feels like Linda’s family don’t really like her much anymore (has her reasons for thinking this) and after 10 mins of going back and forth with Linda explaining (which Linda already is aware) Linda said in a nasty tone “well if you can’t get over it then don’t come” and hung up the phone.

Just wanting perspective on what Josie should do now please? Should she suck it up and get over it even though it will cause great mental heath and anxiety for the day or should Lisa or been more understanding ? 🙏🏻 thank you if you made it this far.

An asteroid the size of the sun is on a direct collision course with Earth. Impact is certain, and all life will end within hours.

A man is trapped in a remote prison in China along with one other person: a well-known actress (for the sake of the scenario, someone like Sydney Sweeney). Everyone else has already evacuated or died. His wife, meanwhile, is imprisoned on the other side of the world in Uganda. Communication systems have completely collapsed—there is no possible way to contact her, and there never will be again.

Both the man and the actress fully understand that this is the final day of human existence.

The question: In this situation, would it be morally wrong for the man to have sex with the actress? Does marital fidelity still carry moral weight when the world is ending and no future consequences—social, emotional, or relational—are possible?

I’m not asking what you would do, but whether you think it is morally wrong, and why.

Ok so here is my dilemma. I 29(m) have been single for almost two years now. I’m currently seeking a partner (female) because ha who wants to die alone. I have been going to the bar recently since the break up figuring I’d maybe find someone in the process or at least make friends. In the last year I have made friends with one of the bartenders and she has definitely caught my interest and attention. She is a very attractive and beautiful woman and in my opinion out of my league. She is currently in a relationship and has been for a long time. She recently came to me for some advice which is not out of the normal, but this time it was about husband. He has been struggling with self issues apparently and it has now come to a point that they are not sure if they are right for each other. I feel that o should help her as much as I possibly can to at least comfort her and to make sure she is taken care of, but at the same time I’m just lost between not knowing if this is life saying this is an opportunity for me possibly to find my someone. I do not think she knows I like her and that is fine to keep it that way and I’m not the douche bag type of guy to come between someone and their love life. Please keep in mind she has not said or shown any emotion or intentions towards me other than friend ship. I just wanted to make this post to see if I should just keep being a friend and go from there and be the supportive person I am or just step away because I’d just interfere with any healing in the relationship.

Just picked up my grocery order, went to unload it and realized quickly that I was given someone else's ordered in addition to mine. As far as I know, grocery stores throw out food that has left and came back as a return or whatever else so I would feel bad if I do that but also this is a l o t of food

Should I call them and let them know and risk having them have me return it and risk of throwing it all away or keep it/not let the store know and donate the food

I feel guilty either way

So there was this girl in my college, very pretty and charming. We met at a heritage walk organized by our college and she was the one who had all my attention out of nowhere. Lucky me, later she came up to me and asked me out. We discussed our lives while returning from the walk and then exchanged contacts. But during the conversations, I felt like she's a bit immature and quite extroverted while I'm not as outgoing as her. On top of it, she had a lot of guy friends, which bothered me and I decided to distance myself from her.

I didn't text her for the next two days and then she finally texted me asking why I didn't text her and how she felt as if I didn't like her or something. But I told her I liked her but was a bit engaged lately. The chat was nothing special so I ended up ghosting her. After that, I saw her 2-3 times in college but we didn't have a proper convo and it was a bit awkward for both of us.

Then from her Instagram I got to know she went into a relationship, all those lovey dovey posts with his new boyfriend who definitely wasn't kind to her as he managed to leave her emotionally drained and broke up abruptly. As a consequence of this breakup, she seemed quite upset and unfollowed me from Instagram (at least I believe this). 1 year of no contact. I forgot about her, she might've forgotten about me.

Two days ago, I encountered her face to face. It was at a small gate and we both somehow ended up entering and exiting at the same time and confronting each other. No greetings, just a look from her. She was stunned for a while and then pretended to ignore me and moved on. I saw her the next day as well but tried to avoid her all the time. I know it's not a big deal but I'm kind of like that.

The plot twist comes when I found myself thinking of her for the entire day today. I don't know what changed about me or her but I felt her more attractive now. Or maybe I'm getting mode desperate with passing time. Whatever it might be, I want to give this thing a try. I want to know her better and maybe date her. But the major issue is idk if she still feels something for me except anger. I lowkey know that she must've moved on and I'm not into her mind by any chance. But should I consider asking her if we could hang out. I mean you miss 100% of the shots you don't take...

If she rejects the offer to balance things out, it'd hurt a bit and will make our future encounters even awkward. If she accepts me, maybe things might work out well. I'm just unsure if I should apologise, tell her about how I've a change of thoughts on her and now I want to explore the possibility of knowing each other better...

I have been married to my wife for 15 years, together for 18 total. When I first met her I was in love, she was so kind and sweet and for some reason she was hesitant to let me meet her family. Then I met them, her dad was very insistent that he had a 'special relationship' with her, the way those two words would roll off the her parents tongue I knew something was up. Along with him having a strong hatred toward me for the entirety of dating and engagement.

After we were married she came out with news that I knew in the back of my head- he had SA'd her since childhood, along with lots of narcissistic abuse and physical abuse. After this she completely turned cold to me at an instant, for many years to come. Walls went up and I was deemed unsafe, just like everyone else in her life.

Fast forward to now, we have been no contact which has relieved some of her anxiety and now she wants to confront him and inform her mother. In the midst of all this, I find out that it was a 1-2 times weekly ritual, so a total of 5-700 times and I think it ran all the way to when we were dating and she was 19.

We are set to confront them at her uncle's church on Saturday (private and not during a service, only us 4 in the room, not the pastor), I have a feeling she is going to be broken down so I will be the one to deliver this message to her mother. And at the same time confront her dad about this.

Do I give him a 30 second chance to come clean before I tear into him?

With the delivery of this sort of message to her mother, who has nearly no clue why we are no contact, I have a feeling she will be in shock. So do I lead up with how his acts has nearly cost us our marriage and that she was about to end her life before meeting me? Then dig into the SA details and frequency? I am pretty sure after delivery of that news her brain will shut off and she will not be taking in any more information.

Hoping someone out there has been through this and can help.

FYI- we know nothing will change, mainly looking to inform her clueless mother who does not have a full understanding of why she cannot see her daughter and grandkids.

Final Update: After a little walk in the cold hawkishly looking for old ladies, embarrassing myself at a cafe trying to spark a convo, and staring at memes I decided to just go back to reception and ask them to give the bundle to the next couple they take in. They were pretty professional with the exchange and idk, I feel satisfied enough lol.

Can't say for sure if this is a "moral" dilemma but I feel like it fits here?

As the post suggests, I went all out for a date and now I'm stuck with some flowers that I'm keeping fresh.

But now...I don't know where their home should be lol. I could make the long trip back home and give them to my mom but they might not survive and that doesn't feel right.

A stranger could do with a win but I'm not sure how I'll come off.

Hotel reception? Probably the least emotionally charged option. They can just be my free agent and give them to whoever.

I'm not really agonizing that much (anymore) about it but any thoughts?

Might not make sense but the stuff that happened at astroworld makes me feel wrong for listening to his music. People died and maybe it wasn’t necessarily his fault but still, feels wrong to me. Could be irrational but I love his music and feel wrong for it. Does stuff like this ever cross your mind?

Said girl would be dating her man for a year. She wants him to spend as much time with her as possible, care for her, give her all undivided attention and just have her as his biggest priority. But he isn't really doing that; instead he's treating it as like a normal regular occurrence, and is busy with gaming and his own hobbies over the day while the girl is bored and in pain. Her boyfriend claims that he is bored too and feels helpless, so he needs to be busy and distract himself with gaming. He isn't really available at all and the girl feels abandoned and alone. Said boyfriend doesn't even particularly do it out of malicious intent, and is otherwise making her happy. He maybe has issues to show the care.

Now imagine another guy comes in the picture who is coincidentally the boyfriends ex-best friend. This guy stays almost 24/7 with her, brings her food, watches movies and shows with her, listens to her, drops everything for her and prioritises her. She feels happy around him and super grateful that he's there. She begins to have him rather there than her own boyfriend and feeling a lot happier around his company. Yet she isn't leaving her boyfriend as she deeply loves him and otherwise everything is fine, and already trusts him. She also isn't in the position to decide something huge like that while fighting for her own life, and the physical pain and psychological trauma takes her capability of making a proper decision as she can barely think. She just gladly accepts the company, support and help from the guy who isn't her boyfriend.

The boyfriend doesn't even know that his ex best friend is caring for his girlfriend and believes that she is just alone the whole time, and he doesn't really care much to change it. She keeps it a secret out of fear to argue or having to make a decision right away.

The dilemma: Is this infidelity? Who is in the right and in the wrong? Are they ALL in the wrong?

I would love to see your perspectives on this

I'm not talking about exposing a cheater or not in this post.

I feel like the world has just accepted cheating as something normal in relationships. Like, emotionally destroying someone is somehow seen as totally fine by everyone. The person who cheats never really faces any real consequences, while the one who got cheated on just has to live with the pain.

Why isn’t this kind of behavior legally punishable?

To me, letting a cheater go on with their life without any real consequences is a huge mistake. It just means they’ll probably do it again and hurt someone else. And honestly, it kind of encourages others to cheat too — because they know nothing’s gonna happen to them.

Think about it — we live in a world where someone can keep choosing to cheat and emotionally mess people up over and over again, and they’ll never get called out in any serious way

I’m in this exact situation im 26(F) my girlfriend 26(F) we started out knowing this will be casual and we won’t continue dating after some point, since we have different expectations from life, we won’t living in the same city. I’m also more on religious side which make things harder for me as well and I really wanna believe I can be with a man in the future. I shared them all with her she totally respected everything and wants to enjoy this as much as it can go. This is my first real relationship and im attached already after spending around 10 dates together and talking 4 months with her. I was thinking I lost my feelings towards to a significant other but I realized I still have them with her. And it’s actually so powerful.

She knows this won’t be a long term and she told me she wants to continue wherever it can go. I was thinking the same but im realizing we’re getting more and more attached, that’s why last time (2 days ago) when a subject opened up randomly I wrote a break up message for each others sake. So we are no contact for the past 48 hours.

But now im asking myself if that would be better to put a date to end things up like until Christmas and then break up? Because this felt really brutal for me too and im sure it was pretty unexpected for her as well. I also felt terrible doing this over a text message. If we could have an expiry date set in advance we can at least prepare ourselves and then move on. What are your thoughts? Thank you

Imagine that you are a North Korean soldier and somehow you find yourself with a perfect opportunity to cross over and escape to South Korea. Let’s say it’s because everyone is distracted by some other reason like someone else already trying to defect by the border.. you’re a soldier there, and right now you can just run over to South Korea.

But you know that your family and loved ones will be punished if you do, three generations has been done in the past. Your family and their future children could have to spend their whole lives in a labour camp.

But this is your only perfect chance to get away and seeing a world you’ve never gotten to known before. And you know if you run now you’ll make it. Would you do it in that moment?