This does NOT excuse you for what you've done at OffKai.
Simply, disgusting.
Oh hey, it's the person who kept following me around all of offkai after I told them to stop and I had to warn security over her. The person who was overstepping my boundaries and touching my arm in 'comfort' over and over when I told them not to touch me, and spoke at me like I was less than them, saying I was 'so brave' for going to offkai as a trans-person, rather than talking to me like a normal person.
You don't get to play the victim when you've hurt and disrespected so many people. And many know about your PL and the terrible things you've done there too.
All I can do is wish you find the help you need. Step away from the internet, find professional help, and breathe, maybe the world will be brighter for you one day where you don't find a need to validate your existence by trying to bring down others.