CrankBis
m y it s crank bis
Price Range
1 - 3 sister/month
Possibel buy using fruit and vegetal
Possibel buy using fruit and vegetal
Locations
Chyna, Dagestan,
Amerika (wowow)
Amerika (wowow)
Key Features
FREE SPECH ALLOW (on higher plans)
DDR IGNOR, PORT 25 PERMANENT OPEN,
100 Gb/s back boner
DDR IGNOR, PORT 25 PERMANENT OPEN,
100 Gb/s back boner
Good For
500 GB PRON
Limitations
Excessive cranking may cause mild exhaustion
Price Range
🍆/month
Locations
Cocks, Cornwall, England, UK
Cox Hill, Cocks, Perranporth, TR6 0AU
Cox Hill, Cocks, Perranporth, TR6 0AU
Key Features
Host, Cock
Good For
Not good for anything
Limitations
Frequent outages, unprofessional staff
yoursunny's summer host
best web hosting and VPS deals in the summer
Price Range
0.66666666666666667 - 7 🥭/month
Push-up payment (double top up bonus during full noon)
Push-up payment (double top up bonus during full noon)
Locations
Antarctica (S 90°00.000 W 030°48.307)
Owner
yoursunny
Key Features
Remote flippers, IPv9 native,
BGP at no cost
BGP at no cost
Good For
Cold storage (high-speed CF cards)
Limitations
Face covering is required
mzunguhosting
network is fast my man
Price Range
61646 - 184940 CFA/month
Locations
Bamako, Mali
Owner
Mzungu (most probably)
Key Features
Pentium IV CPU, 1.41Mbps network, SyntaxError: line 484
Good For
Hot Storage, wasting money
Limitations
Currently out of stock
FUMO VPS
a PDF Powered Hosting
Price Range
5 - 15 FUMO/month
Locations
Gensokyo, Japan
Owner
Bim Bim
Key Features
FUMO FUMO FUMO
Good For
FUMO FUMO
Limitations
BAKA
Private Feet Host (v2)
Private Feet VPS: Step Into Secure Hosting!
Price Range
$5 - 20 /month
10% off with code TOEJAM.
10% off with code TOEJAM.
Locations
Dublin, Iran
Owner
JohnFilch123 (123 is very important),
They're hiring!
They're hiring!
Key Features
Toe-riffic Security,
Blistering Speeds,
Sole-ful Storage, Punny Perks
Blistering Speeds,
Sole-ful Storage, Punny Perks
Good For
Toe-tally secure Virtual Private Soles (VPS)
Limitations
Deadpool incident,
AI slop
AI slop
10¢ Lighthouse
now, that's a cheap lighthouse
Price Range
10¢ / chinese year
Locations
Chyna, Singaporia, Germania, Indonesia
Owner
Rubben (see our evidence)
Key Features
gay foreigner owner,
slow network,
+20 social credits,
barad_agent, YDService
slow network,
+20 social credits,
barad_agent, YDService
Good For
hosting gay pron
Limitations
FREE SPEECH DISALLOW,
no custom ISOs
no custom ISOs
BEANSUMMERHOST NEXTGEN SHED HOSTING SOLUTIONS LLC (AS206540)
No Speech Hosting (speech it s not allow)
Price Range
2000 robux / lifetime
until beanman looses all savings gambling
until beanman looses all savings gambling
Locations
US, Kansas [*]
Owner
beanman109
Key Features
XEON E5 ENABLED,
NO SPEECH ALLOW,
DDR IGNOR,
ChatGPT outsourced administration
NO SPEECH ALLOW,
DDR IGNOR,
ChatGPT outsourced administration
Good For
Femboy Proxy :3,
IPv6 Only services,
Network abuse,
BigGreenPeenis peering
IPv6 Only services,
Network abuse,
BigGreenPeenis peering
Limitations
Very short maintenance notice period,
Random 2 week downtimes
Random 2 week downtimes
SuperHosting97
Coming September 27, 2028 (watch trailer)
Price Range
TBD / month
Locations
North Caucasus, Chyna, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, Burkina Faso, Iran, DPRK
Owner
sh97
Key Features
Low-cost virtual servers,
Local presence,
Expert handling of borders and censorship
Local presence,
Expert handling of borders and censorship
Good For
Nodeseek scalper economy,
Cheap Chicken Paradise (CCP)
Cheap Chicken Paradise (CCP)
Limitations
Still in preorder phase,
Partnership with zGato networks,
Nezha preinstalled
Partnership with zGato networks,
Nezha preinstalled
Already Deadpooled (💀)
nekomikoreimu summerhost
Deadpooled after 2 days in operation.
Price Range
5 Cirno / month
FUMO payment gateway
FUMO payment gateway
Locations
South Korea (🇰🇷)
Owner
nekomikoreimu
Key Features
Unmetered bandwidth,
Premium South Korean basement,
BAKA ignor
Premium South Korean basement,
BAKA ignor
Good For
World Wide Weeb
Limitations
Mentally unstable upstream
Hostcock
Last seen in ownage of Rubben (gay foreigner)
Price Range
??
Locations
Chyna or Kong Kong
Owner
Dissolved
Key Features
Cici Included
Good For
Competing with Cockhost (lost btw)
Limitations
Deadpooled
Private Feet Host (v1)
Host your feet with us privately
Price Range
$1 - 99 /month
Payments accepted in gold coins.
Payments accepted in gold coins.
Locations
Princess castle
Key Features
100% recycled hamsters on wheels,
Hidden fees,
99.9% downtime
Hidden fees,
99.9% downtime
Good For
Keeping your feet private and warm
Limitations
Partnership with hostcock.com (now cockhost.com)