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It took only a moment, because the answer is so obvious and simple: I want for nothing; I live an incredibly full and happy life; and I love and am loved by a lot amazing people.

I am not objective, but other people frequently note that my cisgender partner is conventionally attractive. She is also intelligent, charming, kind, and talented. She is, in short, hot. We have an excellent relationship, sharing household chores, child-rearing, and generally supporting each other. (2/11)

I have a ten-year-old daughter who is extremely sociable and is considered a leader by her classmates. She likes to hold my hand when we walk together, and she doesn’t care who hears her call me “Mommy,” and quickly corrects anyone who calls me her “Daddy.” (3/11)

I have become very close to many of the mothers of my daughter’s classmates, and am well known among both parents and children, because I do a weekly English-language story hour on BigBlueButton. (Just today, I went to Universal Studios Japan with my daughter, her best friend, that child’s mother, who is my own best friend, and another dear friend. The grown-ups drank a fair amount of beer, and there was much laughter.) (4/11)

I was also chosen to be one of two “Class Mothers” this school year. I’m also on the school’s Halloween Party planning committee. (5/11)

I am also a full professor at a Japanese university, where I teach popular courses on manga and other sequential art. Students come to me to ask life advice and just chat about comics. Colleagues ask me to give guest lectures in their classes. Famous manga artists invite me to their parties. My most famous manga artist friend, whose work I translate, sends me an autographed copy every time she publishes a new book. (6/11)

Magazine editors ask me to write essays. Newspapers ask me to write columns. Strangers ask me to autograph copies of my manga translations, which is embarrassing because my signature looks like chicken-scratch.

Significantly, none of these people mentioned above ever misgender me, deadname me, or tell me, “You’ll never be a woman.” Most of them don’t spend much time thinking about my gender. (Nor do I about theirs.) (7/11)

The point of all this shameless bragging being: my life is almost certainly way better than that of someone who, every day, sits down in front of their computer or mobile device and thinks, “I’m going to use my anonymous account on bigots.welcome to seek out accounts of minorities and marginalized people and tell them to kill themselves.” I mean, come on. This is not an activity that someone who leads a fulfilling life is ever going to spend their precious time on. (8/11)

These people don’t go home to a loving partner and children every day. The following is not a conversation that ever happens in the homes of the people in my mentions telling me to kill myself:

Sweet daughter: “Daddy, let’s play UNO after dinner!”
Loving wife: “Oh, that sounds like fun!”
Daddy, laughing gently: “I would love to, sweetie, but I’m afraid I have a busy evening ahead of me terrorizing random transgender people on the Fediverse! Maybe next time!” (9/11)

No, there is no loving wife and sweet daughter waiting at home for these sad men. There is only misery and resentment. Each demand to “kill yourself” is in fact a desperate lament: “I want to die!” (10/11)

This last part is quite serious: Dear marginalized friends out there on the Fediverse, when some anonymous stranger tells you to “kill yourself,” please immediately translate that phrase to “I want to die, but I don’t know how to deal with my feelings, so I am taking out my sorrow, anger, and frustration on you.” Spare that person the briefest moment of pity, and then report and block that motherfucker, because fuck them. (11/11)

@meganL Thank you, Megan! I think I generally avoid the kind of “Check out my awesome life” posts that made me hate Instagram so much, but it seemed merited here.

@meganL I mean, if a person says, “Kill yourself,” the implication is that you’re life is not worth living, but when I step back and assess my life, I feel pretty darned lucky!