>>6321882 (OP)
Throw the rock outside

look outside to see where it came from

>>6321882 (OP)
rob a nigger, steal the money and buy a bibisi dilldough

blogpost about this o algo

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>>6321883
CRASH!!!!
You throw the rock outside.
It lands on your lawn.
You survey your handiwork with disinterest. You don't appreciate the draft being let in by the open window, but calling a repair crew would be a lot of work and you're not really feeling up to that right now.
Your neighbour, Chud, comes out of his house, roused by the noise. You're not sure why he's crying and yelling, and you don't really care.
What do you do?

>>6321892
Move into Chud's basement

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>>6321894
>>6321891
You crawl out of your window and walk outside to talk to Chud. You bring your computer so you can blogpost on the go. It's a Mac, something you're eternally grateful for due to its sleek and portable nature.
>can I move into your basement?
You ask him politely.
He still seems very upset, and immediately begins screaming at you.
<MOVE INTO MY BASEMENT??? ARE YOU CRAZY?? DID YOU EVEN SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOA CODES THAT VIOLATES??? YOU'RE DISTURBING THE PEACE!!! I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR ME, YOU APE!!!
>um, rude.
>can i tho?
Chud's face turns purple.
<NO!!! NO!!! DON'T YOU HAVE ENOUGH SPACE IN YOUR OWN HOUSE?? LOOK AT IT, IT'S HUGE!! IT MUST HAVE THOUSANDS OF ROOMS!! IT'D BE STATELY AND BEAUTIFUL, IF YOU ACTUALLY TOOK CARE OF THE DAMN PLACE!!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN TORN DOWN YEARS AGO!!
This conversation doesn't seem to be getting anywhere.
What do you do?

>>6321907
keep asking him to go into his basement until he leaks

>>6321907
Start smashing Chud's head on the rock until he lets you move in.

>>6321907
Keep walking, on your way you see a copy of your favorite manime “Violence Jack” on sale for 9.99 in a store

>>6321907
Tie chud to the rock so he can't move, then move into his house

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>>6321912
You approach Chud with the rock.
<HEY-HEY DID YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING! GET AWAY! LEAVE THAT FUCKING DILAPIDATED SHACK AND GO!
<WAIT, ARE YOU - HEY, DON'T-
You smash his head in with the rock until he stops moving.

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You stare at his corpse for a while. It was a lot more interesting when he was moving, but now that he's still it's just kinda boring.
Suddenly, the rock soaks up the blood which was covering it, grows slightly bigger, and legs extend from it.
<Heya, buddy! I'm The Vlodstone! Can you take me to your leader so I can impregnate her?
What do you do?

>>6321928
Immediately try to eat it

>>6321928
"VLODSTONE! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT KILLED CHUD! I only meant to knock him out... not kill him...."
I go on r/eyebleach to make myself feel better, and then post on r/advice on what to do about this.

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>>6321929
You immediately try to eat it.
It is, of course, too big to fit in your mouth. It also doesn't taste like much, which makes you get bored quickly.
<Hehehehee, that tickles!
What do you do?

>>6321934
Genuinely kill vlodstone as much as possible, split it open, get RID OF IT

>>6321928
call feralfed and ask for an orbital strike on the whole fucking place

>>6321934
Instead take a picture of it and ask Jewgle Gemini (spell it like that btw) what species it is, then attempt to murder it

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>>6321936
You put all your herculean strength into a devastating ground pound.
Shockwaves emanate across the landscape, and a deep, smoking crater is made in the ground. However, The Vlodstone is just pushed to the side, completely unharmed.
<Heeheehee, you're so strong!
What do you do?

>>6321951
Call your best friend Gigachad to help

>>6321951
permaban, rangeban, and lurkban the vlodstone

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>>6321952
You call your best friend Gigachad to help. You hear the crashing of his footsteps in the distance, and in a moment, he has arrived.
^What's going on man?
>well there's this rock thing over here and it's kind of pissing me off can you like idk kill it or something
^I see. That is a problem. How do you want me to kill it?
What do you do?

>>6321961
gigachad summons an army of gigaflies and evaporates the abomination of a variant

>>6321961
[i]*I explain what happened to Gigachad.*[/i] So this stone came through my house roof, and I tried throwing it outside. Then my window also broke, so I wanted to move into Chud's basement, but he [i]*sniff*[/i] didn't like that, so I hit him with the rock until he would let me live in his basement, but this sentient stone made my punches harder, and, it's LE EVIL!
Can you just... punch it? Just... get rid of it, it killed my friend.
[i]*i start blogposting on my MacBook again*[/i]

>>6321961
Ask Gigachad to kill it with kindness

>>6321969
I think it's for OP only

>>6321963
Ah, forgot the extra formatting only works for the OP.
>>6321961
Gigachad smashes the stone to bits with his trusty enchanted Netherite pickaxe.

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>>6321967

>>6321961
Ask him to kill it, while you do so attempt to search the Vlodstone on Jewgle

>>6321961
Tell gigachad to stop pissing

>>6321962
You ask Gigachad to summon an army of gigaflies.
^Absolutely!
Suddenly, a swarm of immense flies swarm in and begin divebombing into the stone. However, they are crushed upon impact, and the stone absorbs their blood, growing larger.
<Yummy yummy for my tummy!
<You fellas are so strong, you could bring me all sorts of babes! Why don't you take me to your leader? If you do, I'll grant you immortality!
What do you do?

>>6321983
Ignore the rock, and send Chud to the hospital, and hopefully Dr. Basedberg can bring him back to life using the meds.

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>>6321983
oops, forgot to attach the image

>>6321983
Take the stone to Kamala Harris

>>6321983
Drop to your knees and praise it and accept it as your new god, while doing so, ask it to eat Rev says desu for you because he is locked and gay

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>>6321984
You ignore the rock. Out of some vague inclination: maybe pity, maybe curiosity, you decide to take him straightway to the hospital, where he is bandaged and tended to by Dr. Basedberg.
about an hour later, you and Gigachad come back to check on him.
^How's he holding up?
Basedberg returns him a sullen expression.
Not good. We gave him a blood transfusion, but we project he still only has 3 days to live. He has AIDs.
The Vlodstone, which had been following you this entire time, pipes up.
<If you find me your leader so I can impregnate her, I'll grant him immortality!
What do you do?

>>6322002
Fucking hell, fine, let vlodstone impregnate chud (evendoe he's not a woman you nigger)

>>6322003
saar we need to ignore vlodstone

>>6322002
Take Vlodstone to the White House so he can impregnate Donald Trump

>>6322007
I guess, find another way to save chud

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>>6322003
>>6322009
You tell Vlodson that Chud is your leader.
<Really? But he doesn't look like you leader... he doesn't look like he controls you! Take me to your real leader!
>fine dude, i'll take you to the president, i'm pretty sure he controls a lot of things including me i guess
<Yes!! Yes!! Thank you!!
You and Gigachad travel to The White House, but are stopped by a guard on your way in.
<Hey, stop right there! You seem suspicious somehow... I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something off about you.
<Maybe it has something to do with the blood on your face, or the huge rock following you around.. I'm not sure why, but I just get a gut feeling you're up to no good. Explain yourself!
This guy is asking too many questions.
What do you do?

>>6322029
you ask gigachad to become super wide and just run over everything on his way to the oval office

stopping for tonight but i'll continue the thread tomorrow

>>6322029
You blogpost something embarrassing and mention that you're trans btw for no reason in particular