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The human genome is pleased to announce that it has been acquired by GalactiComm in a transaction involving 56 quadrillion UltraCredits in cash, stock and population indentures. Humanity will remain an independent brand and organisation under the GalactiComm banner and is expected to flourish with access to GalactiComm technologies such as TrueThought and MetaGender. Human leaders will remain in their current roles, designated as GalacticComm vice demi pico presidents.
@Unixbigot buys Galcticomm for 60 Gazillion credits and splits off the human genome to the highest bidder in a universe wide auction. They will have to get used to their planet being moved permanently to the goldilocks zone of a red giant star.
@Unixbigot I, for one, welcome our new GalactiComm overlords!
I'm most excited about MetaGender, and all the new stellar-siblings we'll have!
@Unixbigot
Unauthorized children are technically permitted under "Fair Use" exemptions, but any attempt to monetize them, or for them to monetize themselves, will be met with legal action. We shall seek the harshest remedies available under human law (see: Nintendo vs ...
@Unixbigot Great writing, perfect cadence, and not one bit of allegory.
A wonderful fiction.
Right?
...right?
@Unixbigot The CEO of GalactiComm recently spoke at a private event where leaked comments point to long-term company plans to sell-off portions of the Human brand in order to offset costs of recent aquisition. Per the GC CEO "While once useful in developing our brand, it was clear to us that these [language, critical thought] wouldn't pair well with our mission. Look, if another company wants to invest in legacy product, and make an interesting offer, we'd be crazy not to persue that."