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[deleted by user] (self.loseit)

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[–][deleted] 196 points197 points  (4 children)

Woman, a week ago you threatened to kill yourself because you believe your boobs are not the right shape.

You need to do two things;

Talk to an actual psychologist that can help you.

Stop measuring your entire self worth based on your appearance.

Thanks for listening to the actual Ted Talk that might be helpful.

[–]Anon369damufine24F 5’3 132 lbs | HW: 170 lbs | Crohn’s 🚽🩸💩🧻 30 points31 points  (0 children)

thisssss ^ bro some of yall need therapy, not Reddit

[–]So_not_roneryNew 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bless you for saying the things that need to be said.

[–]Law_man89New 35 points36 points  (6 children)

I'm almost certain that your in your own head about this, but what was your starting weight and height if you dont mind sharing?

I'm almost certain most of this is in your own head, I promise people don't think about this as much as we do about ourselves.

[–]Bored_Girly2124New 2 points3 points  (5 children)

i’m 5’4 and 170 lb now, i used to be 220lb

[–]Law_man89New 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Great job you should be proud! Don't be discouraged, honestly have you ever considered that you may experience body dysmorphia or are making assumptions on others?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Body Dysmorphia is a truly rare and severe disorder of brain processing, where the subject quite literally cannot accurately draw what their body looks like, as in their eyes actually don't see reality. OP knows what her body looks like, and she doesn't like what she sees. Just because some people have different opinions about their bodies than others doesn't mean everyone nowadays has a rare, severe disorder. I've posted my own body on this subreddit under a different account before to show that I have an extremely skinny frame but a bloated pregnant-looking belly, and half the people were telling me I have BD, when it turned out later I actually have PCOS. My doctor even said that my body type was an indication that something was wrong and that "no healthy person should look like that." FFS

[–]Bored_Girly2124New 2 points3 points  (1 child)

i might but i take pictures of my face and i see how it looks compared to me pre weight loss and i think i look horrible. like i think i objectively got worse facially as i lost weight

[–]Law_man89New 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hmm I don't trust picture as much, I feel they aren't really representing what people look like

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope this comment isn't so controversial it's downvoted into oblivion, but my personal belief is that this is the middle zone of weight loss that makes people the least attractive. You've lost enough weight to have a slim face, but it looks gaunt compared to a still overweigh body. You need to keep going. Continue to lose weight until your BMI is 22 (not 25 or 26). Your body will adjust over time and refill in some fat to your face and you'll look very proportional at this BMI. It'll be the best of both worlds instead of worst of both worlds. Trust me.

[–]Revolutionary-Toe-72New 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Drop the friends. Obviously you're going to feel worse if you have a bunch of insensitive monkeys in your "friend" circle making fun of your looks and progress instead of supporting you

[–]Bored_Girly2124New 1 point2 points  (1 child)

yeah one of them recently tried calling me again and i gave her a chance but she spent that time comparing her body and looks to mine because she was drunk rambling but it still really hurt but i stopped trying after that to be nice

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t talk to her then. If your friends are in multiple chances and you’re suicidal, something obviously needs to change.

Your problem has nothing to do with your looks or your breasts or anything else. It has to do with how you think and feel about them. Those things aren’t static. Talk to someone professionally and keep talking to people u til you find a good fit.

[–]Concerned_student-New 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Im going to be honest with you as someone who can relate to your feelings of ugliness and weight loss. Your appearance is not the problem, you have severe body image issues that are clearly life threatening (post history). We cannot fix your distorted view of yourself, but I can tell you this. If you feel this way after making a positive change to your body, you are searching for reasons to dislike yourself. This is not healthy and you shouldn’t be to the point of suicide over physical appearance. Your support system of friends probably aren’t helping how you feel. Please feel free to message me if you need somebody to understand because trust me i’ve been there. Your life is worth more than your appearance. Seriously my messages are open, Im a girl too if it helps.

[–]Concerned_student-New 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im struggling with facial dysmorphia after jaw surgery so I understand the feeling of expecting to look better but then being disappointed. You cannot continue on like this. Get professional help if you can, there’s no shame in getting aid for something. We all need help sometimes, it’s normal.

[–]Bored_Girly2124New 3 points4 points  (1 child)

thank you for your kind words. i really try to feel attractive but i don’t think my face looks better from weight loss. maybe some parts of my body do and i can acknowledge that. but i am seeing a therapist, i got a new one a few weeks ago because i haven’t been in therapy for a while. and im planning on cutting off those friends. but i still can’t feel confident no matter how i try. i probably have body dysmorphia or something like that. i don’t know how to stop it or fix it. it’s just been ruining me. but thank you so much again 💗

[–]Concerned_student-New 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im really happy that you’re taking steps to improve your life, you’re really brave in a way a lot of people aren’t. It’s probably for the best you cut those friends off too, they don’t sound like good ones for you. Yeah that’s the problem with BD, we cannot cure ourselves , it’s always a voice in our heads. There is no fix, this is life. What you can learn is coping strategies and how to deal with irrational thoughts. You may think you’re ugly but then you’d be able to rationalise the thought and know you’re just self-hating due to BD. You’re doing so well with your weight loss, but please seriously just make sure you’re not restricting too much. I know people on here love to suggest drastic diets at times , but it’s not always safe, especially with body image issues. I believe in you, if my opinion matters at all, you’re going to be so proud of your current self in the future. You’re saving your future self from self doubt and not understanding why you’re in pain. Hell if you’re not proud of you, i’m proud of you.

[–]brrymrfyNew 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey, just dropping in to say that weight loss and self esteem do not always go hand in hand. Society creates crushing standards for people and becoming happy with oneself comes from more than physical appearance.

Please speak to someone you trust, either a friend or maybe even a professional. I've had therapy in the past to deal with some crushing self esteem issues and the hardest work is getting out of your own negative thoughts.

You can't lose weight alone, you need to love yourself. Sending you positive vibes.

[–]Horror_Mama_JapanNew 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl, those sound like model and artistic features. Most women would kill for those features. I personally love my features, and have been asked/have modeled makeup because of them.

Learn to love your new features, perhaps look into new hairstyles to suit your new face frame. You’ve lost so much weight too! You’ve done amazing. You’re now healthier and I’m sure more energetic from you’re healthy choices. There should be so many cute outfits you can wear.

Yes, there is such a thing as “pretty privilege”, but there is also the case of people straight up hating you for being pretty(prettier than they are). I’ve experienced both, it just a matter of finding the right people to be around. Haters are just self projecting, they are most likely lacking confidence and find you intimidating.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to consider that you are struggling with body dismorphiya..i can't spell, don't come for me😭.

It can happen to anyone. I've had weight go up n down and I hit a strange period where even though I didn't ever have a problem with my nose, everytime I looked at it, i felt like it either wasn't my nose or that something was "off" about it.

This took awhile to get over. There are changes that happen in your face as you age and with significant weight loss.

[–]editorealNew 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Are you sure that you didn't go too far with your weight loss? What's your BMI?

[–]AdChemical166335lbs lost 41F 63” under 135 5 points6 points  (2 children)

At 5’4” and 170, OPs BMI is just over 29. 

[–]Bored_Girly2124New 1 point2 points  (1 child)

yeah for once in my life i’m not considered “obese” anymore which made me happy but now my face is an issue for me :( and im not underweight or anything

[–]AdChemical166335lbs lost 41F 63” under 135 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly….I’d swap to maintenance for 6 months or so and see if your face fat redistributes. 

I lose in my face first, but after I hit maintenance, my face fills back out over the course of a few months.  It’s just a weirdness in my fat storage patterns, I guess. 

[–]kirby8350lbs lost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hang out in maintenance awhile, things might redistribute and soften out.

[–]snookythicc42lbs lost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you should probably talk to a professional if youre having body image issues. nevertheless, be proud of your achievement!

[–]RMW91-New 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I understand. My weight loss left me looking 10 years older with prominent nasolabial folds and marionette lines :-(

[–]Bored_Girly2124New 1 point2 points  (0 children)

same here, i took pictures while on vacation and i was shocked at how much more apparent they were