Tab 1

tw/ grooming, pedophilia, manipulation, physical abuse, mentions of suicide

This document was made to bring attention to and spread awareness of the terrible actions of the person who goes under the name Reshiram/Iylwrychi. (Other aliases include YGYoshi, Swithical, Krakence, Sprinkle, Mihroh, Miro, Mirodergy, cafesito, Clawprint, Clawprinttrove, ram3). These actions include grooming MULTIPLE minors, sexual/romantic relationships with minors, lying about his age to minors, threatening suicide, physical abuse, and manipulation. For all intents and purposes we will refer to him by his real name, Sam.

This document is written by Diamond, Reticent, and Shirou, with the support of numerous other victims and bystanders who wished to stay anonymous.

Before Reading: We do NOT condone doxxing/harassment of individuals involved. In particular, his family members. They are innocent in this. We also want to state, in the name of safety, that the commonly-spread previous “doxx” of Sam, listing an address in Grand Rapids, MI, is NOT the same Sam. The people who reside at that address are completely random people. The Samuel that resides there is NOT the same person as the Sam in this document. Please do not attempt to harass them.

Sam is a top osu!mania, (https://osu.ppy.sh/users/7794488) Quaver, (https://quavergame.com/user/608?mode=1), SDVX player (SV-2328-0019), and former Geometry Dash player who just won grand finals playing in the osu!mania world cup, a big tournament that gave him a platform for thousands of people to see. Because of his high-level position and positive perception in the community, it gives him an opportunity to create a power dynamic where his status allows him to find and target victims much easier. It is a shame that this is being written and finished during the tournament, but it is imperative that he loses access to his platform and status to prey on anyone anymore. This doc will go into detail with evidence and explanations for the horrible actions that Sam has been hiding for years. This document was written by 3 people, all have been involved with Sam and have experienced and witnessed his disgusting actions firsthand.

Sam is 23 years old (born 8/20/2002), and has been grooming for years with multiple victims, some as young as 14.

This situation is urgent, and spreading awareness and reposting is critical because Sam is going to an in-person rhythm game event known as Mistake On The Lake 6 (MOTL6). People need to be aware of Sam's actions and avoid him so that there are no future victims, not to mention one of Sam's victims is also attending this event.

Sam’s current public discord:

It’s worth mentioning that once this document is posted online, he will likely delete all his accounts and create new ones.

Below are recent messages of sam interacting within the SDVX community, proving that other people are still at risk of falling victim to sam.

Here is a picture of what Sam looks like, if you see him please avoid him.

Dim/DiamondParagon:

Grooming minors, lying about age

Sam has groomed minors multiple times, some cases even occurred as recently as this year. This section will go over these cases and show how little control he has over his sexual desires, as well as go into some of the manipulation tactics he uses on his victims.

The following evidence I (Diamond) witnessed and experienced firsthand.

Although there are multiple instances of Sam inappropriately talking to minors, this one still angers me to this day due to him lying about his age to fool the victim. These conversations take place from January-February of 2022. At the time I was 16, and had been very close friends with Sam for 2 years up to this point. One day, a mutual friend of Sam and I brought up the fact that Sam (who was 19) was trying to hit on him (who was 14), where he mistakenly thought I was in a relationship with Sam.

The victim then shows me the initial conversations he had with Sam upon adding him.

The victim then shows me an extremely questionable message that Sam had sent him. Keep in mind this message is already AFTER Sam asks for the victims age, and lies about his own. The victim asks for Sam's age, and Sam replies that he’s 15, when in reality he was 19 and already in a relationship with someone else.

After I realize what’s happened, I immediately confront Sam with everything the victim had told me, enraged that someone so close to me would do something like this, lying about his age to a minor despite being supposedly “disgusted” with actions like these. The worst part is that he acts like he had no control over this situation and tries to shift the blame to the minor, supported by him saying “i never tried to ensue anything sexual and ive always never knew how to say no.” This statement was blasphemous, as he’s 19 years old talking to a 14 year old, and the victim had told me from the start that Sam had been affectionate with him first. When I confront Sam about this, he plays the victim, telling me to stop because he’s having a panic attack.

I should’ve cut Sam off right there, realizing that there is no way to excuse these actions, but he instead manipulated the situation to turn himself into a victim, saying that the 14 year old was pressuring him into a sexual situation. Another important detail to note; He says that in situations like those he always feels pressured to talk in a sexual/affectionate way, which insinuates that he is unable to control his urges, even around minors. My biggest regret is that I didn’t do something about it at that moment. Unfortunately, at this time I was young and naive, as well as extremely close with him. I really wanted to believe in him and believe that he would never do something like this again, but I was wrong.

Sam apologized to the victim for his behavior, only AFTER I had pressed him about it. He claims he lied about his age because “it was an inside joke” which doesn’t make any sense at all, he’s just trying to excuse his actions. You can see his manipulation tactics shine through when he says “the truth is that a lot of our conversations made me feel uncomfortable but it was my fault for perpetuating it and not expressing that it made me feel uncomfortable.” If he was trying to be genuine and apologize, this statement is entirely useless. Sam is a grown adult and is attempting to pin the blame on a 14 year old. If he really felt uncomfortable with the conversation, he should’ve ended it as soon as it started.

What’s weird here is that after this interaction happens, he immediately deletes the account. He claims to do this to “better himself” so a situation like this never occurs again, but it just feels extremely strange to do this right after being caught, considering he has deleted MANY accounts before. I have screenshots below of multiple accounts that he has talked to me on and deleted during our few years of friendship (with proof of it being him on each account). A lot of times he would tell me that he was just trying to get away from people or clear his mind, however with the amount of times it happened, it made me suspicious if it was truly just him trying to better himself/maintain his closed off status in the community. While this could have been the case, it became apparent with time he was only trying to cover up his tracks from similar mistakes. This unfortunately is not the only instance of grooming Sam has done.

(2020-2021)

(same phone case shown in beginning of doc)

(2020-early 2021)

Discord id: 759919620118675545

(late 2020-2022)

(2022-2023)

(2023-2024)

(this convo will be important later on)

As I stated earlier, there were multiple grooming victims, with another victim being myself.

My friendship with Sam started back in early 2020, I was 14 and he was 17. He had joined a mutual mania server I was in and we became friends through a group chat I was added to. For about a year and a half we were just friends, nothing more, however, during the beginning of when we started being friends, we would be flirtatious with each other, saying weird romantic things to each other even though we had just met, but it wasn’t serious. It was kind of like we were just roleplaying as a joke?? I cringe saying that now, but at the time I didn’t see the problem, I was 14 and dumb and was just online on discord all day because of covid. Looking back at it now is quite alarming.

I did reciprocate the flirtatious feelings back, but with him being 3 years older than me, he obviously should’ve never started the conversations let alone shut them down whenever they happened. The screenshot below concerns me because it went from ”ironic roleplay” to something more serious. The fact that he can be extremely flirtatious/sexual with someone he just met who is also 3 years younger than him is another sign of him having no control of his sexual desires.

After these weird initial flirtatious and sexual conversations, those convos faded as we got to learn more about each other and got closer as friends. As this happened, the flirtatious/sexual messages began to stop. During this time period, I would get to know a lot more about Sam, and one day, he just exploded and said he was gonna off himself. Mentions of suicide below.

I included this because this was so out of the blue and because it will provide context to some of the questionable behavior he has later. He had never exploded like this and it was such a small argument. I did my best to help him through his episode, and eventually everything was back to normal, but this interaction changed things. He went from a friend whom I was never serious with at all to him venting to me and literally saying that he was gonna kill himself and after this point, I would come to learn some of Sam’s many mental disorders and how fucked up his life was. We would remain close for another month or so before he would disappear without telling me anything. We started talking again in 2020/the start of 2021, and I began to learn more of his mental illnesses when he mentioned this:

The context of this was that we had a small argument over some server that we were in and he got uncomfortable, then went off on me. He then proceeded to tell me he has schizophrenia and that he wakes up a different person every day, and I forgave him, because it’s not something he could control. The reason I keep bringing up his mental illnesses is because he will blame his wrongful actions on his illnesses instead of taking accountability.

I felt bad for Sam's situation, I wanted to be a friend he could rely on so I started hanging out a lot more with him. This is when I would say he became my best friend, as we would always be in calls, playing random roblox games and minecraft, and talking about random stuff. Below are pictures on my twitter from years ago, just for proof of this.

Over this time period I was pretty much hanging out with Sam everyday, we were always calling and we had grown as close as two friends could get. During this time period as well, I had developed slight feelings for him as well, but I would refrain from saying anything about them due to the age gap (16 and 19), and the fact that he was already in a relationship at the time. Unfortunately, neither of those things stopped him from becoming sexual with me randomly. We were in a call, and he was just playing mania, and he randomly initiated an NSFW conversation out of nowhere. Keep in mind, there was no mention of anything sexual or romantic between us before this point.

I don’t know why he asked that, but because of my feelings at the time, I obliged to his request and sent some. I was really confused and didn’t know why he wanted this because we had been best friends for so long, but then he insisted for me to send more. Then after that he started acting extremely affectionate and sexual with me. I was blinded by my feelings to realize what was truly happening to me.

I assumed that because of all the sexual stuff he started with me, it meant he was into me too, so a few days later I confessed my feelings to him. He didn’t really give me a direct answer, at first he said he was too old, which was right and he should’ve turned me down, but then said that nothing was ruined by my confession and he continued to act affectionately and sexually with me.

He never actually ended up saying yes or no to a relationship, but just assured me that he wanted to continue to act this way. The important thing here is that he was able to make me think that we were in a relationship, but he didn’t explicitly label it, which he will bring up later. This was a manipulation tactic that he uses against me.

The intimacy and affection continue, and a few days later he sends me explicit nudes of himself, and I show him explicit pictures of myself as well. Keep in mind, this is only days after the first sexual interaction we had. We would continue this pattern of affection and sexual encounters on video calls pretty much everyday. We would routinely masturbate together, and in my head I thought it was all fine because this was the relationship I wanted to have. He would break up with his partner he was with at the time, who at this point I didn’t even know were still dating. We were pretty much inseparable, we would call every second that we were both free, and knowing sam's bad past, I became really happy to be someone for him in his life.

What I didn’t realize was Sam's ulterior motives. The “relationship” would be pretty good for a few weeks before he admitted to his addiction to sex and his lack of self control to be sexual with other people. He first says there is “one or two people” that he flirts with platonically, and then minutes later he confesses to being sexual with multiple other people, and even having sex with someone else irl. I wouldn’t have made this doc if all he did was cheat on me, the bigger part to worry about is that he’s a compulsive liar who is unable to control his sexual urges. As seen earlier, he is perfectly fine with lying about his age to a minor, and him telling me that he’s unable to control his sexual desires around other people is unacceptable.

Right before this, he also confessed to cheating on me with a partner of his from the past, and also admits to being a compulsive liar.

This information crushes me, because I’m literally there for him everyday and every second of free time I was spending with him, but it still wasn’t enough. I knew that the relationship was basically over at this point, but I didn’t know what to do. He was pretty much the only person I had at that point, I was isolated from the rest of the people in my life because being there for him took up so much of my time. I was so hurt, but I still wanted to be there for him, because I was afraid of what he would do if I wasn’t there to support him.

He would mention suicide daily, and each conversation we had like this I would try my best to be there for him and tell him that we would get through it together, because I was afraid of him hurting himself. I felt trapped, because I still cared for him, but I knew that things couldn’t go on the same for much longer, I was just terrified of what would happen if I ended things.The weird thing is that after each of these conversations the next morning or a few hours later, he would completely switch moods and not say anything about it. He would go back to being affectionate like normal.

Here he admits that he has gotten himself into a relationship with me, whether he wants to believe it or not.

Then he goes and reverts back to thinking of me as a best friend instead of his romantic partner. At this point sexual stuff was rare, and wholesome romantic affection was even more rare. After he had initiated sexual conversations with me first, he says that it feels wrong and has no meaning anymore.

He then tells me that he didn’t want the label on the relationship because it would negatively affect him and that he couldn’t be with just one person at a time. He also says that he was giving him false hope that he wanted a relationship, insinuating that he didn’t want one in the first place. He also says he only does the romantic and sexual things because they make me happy. However, he was the one who initially reached out sexually, and admitted and entertained the idea of a relationship himself. In the screenshots above and below he literally admits to being in a relationship with me and calling me his boyfriend. At this point it’s clear, he got what he wanted out of me, and he then used the excuse of not labeling it as a relationship to quickly escape without making himself feel bad, completely contradicting himself in his other messages.

Here is where he finally admits the scary truth. After 2 months of being with me, sex no longer feels satisfying for him, and to combat this he continuously goes behind my back to be sexual with other people, no matter who the person is, if he was in the mood, he would act on it, saying that he could be a pedophile himself.

This is the most disgusting part to me, how absolutely low he gets despite me trying my hardest for him, claiming that if he was in the mood, it would not matter to him to be sexual with someone underage. He also partially shifts the blame off of him and onto the antidepressants that he was taking. At this point the relationship was basically over. He had completely casted me aside, but I couldn’t leave because he was the only person I had. I had devoted so much time to him that I hadn’t spoke to any other friends in weeks.

He then finds someone else while with me, being secretive around me and getting a lot more distant. He then breaks up with me for someone else. Yet he says he still would like to remain close with me, calling me a “life partner” rather than a romantic partner. He also says that we won’t be any less close after this. This completely disregards my feelings and shows just how little respect he has for me. He is only staying this because he wants to keep me attached to him, he knows that I don’t have many people at the moment and wants me still to be there for him and do things for him, just without providing anything for me.

In this situation I don’t really want to focus on the cheating but rather the grooming and manipulation tactics he used. He initiated sexual conversations with me out of nowhere, allowed me to express sexual/romantic feelings and even expressed them back to me, without putting a label on them so he wouldn’t be liable for all the mistakes he made. Then once it got boring for him, he started going behind my back to do these sexual things with other people. He would come back to me telling how messed up he was, threatening suicide at times, I would comfort him, and then he would convince me that he would try to get better in the future. He would lie about what he was doing with other people because technically our relationship wasn’t “labeled”. This cycle of him constantly going to other people for sex led on for about another month, before he decided to pursue a relationship with someone else. At the time I didn’t even realize I had been groomed, I thought it was just a relationship that ended horribly. Looking back, seeing sam initially being sexual with me and watching the decline of our relationship as soon as he got enough sex just shows me what sam really wanted.

I would also like to mention how he brought up the age gap in the relationship being weird. This now looks like just an excuse to stop the relationship, as later he would lie to the 14 year old about his age, as well as get into a relationship with shiro, who would have an even bigger age gap with sam.

I should’ve shared my story with everyone to warn other people about getting into a relationship with him, but I wasn't even aware of how bad it was. I was so naive that I became friends with him again because I believed he wouldn’t do something like it again, and before I knew it he was inappropriately messaging a 14 year old. Then, almost a year later, while in a relationship with Reti/Augie (the person Sam left me for), Sam would ERP with another minor while he was almost 20, and the minor was 16-17.

And then, most recently, he would get into a relationship with another minor, while he was 22 and the minor was 17. This took place just this past year.

Shirou:

My Account

I was 16 when Sam first approached me. We were both members of the [Paw] clan discord server, and one day in August 2023 I randomly received a Twitter follow and Discord friend request from him. After accepting, the tone was immediately set by Sam acting “cutesy” and pushing the conversation in affectionate and sexual directions. In addition, keep in mind while reading through everything that until nearly January 2024, Sam had a partner.

We had never interacted prior to this. The messages carried on with Sam continuing to affection-bomb:

(image being responded to is a photo of a cat)

A little after this point, he added me on his other discord

(This was a giant lie, he would get this mad essentially every single time he played either SDVX or mania)

More “pushy” messages:

Even at this point, despite multiple days of escalating affection and sexual messages, he still hadn’t asked me my age. While I had not asked him either, I personally was under the impression that he was around my age, as he stated he wanted a job and to go to college. It would not be until after the second time we ERP’d together that he would ask my age.

You might be inclined to give Sam the benefit of the doubt, which I did for the longest time until I found out that this was far from the first time he had done this. In fact, he was even called out in the past for doing this. Both here and in the past, he claimed that he was just too easily pressured into affection, but you can see from the very first messages that he was the one who initially led the conversation in an affectionate/sexual direction.

You get the point, I’m only putting it there to show it really happened. Obviously, I will not include the full logs of ERP. This was later that day:

Where we proceeded to ERP for a second time. Obviously I won’t include those either. Eventually, after the second time we ERP’d, we ended up in a conversation where he implied he was going to college, so I asked his age, which he didn’t tell me until some prodding:

Here’s the real kicker:

Right after this, he told me his backstory, which I also won’t include since it’s not relevant. The topic of the age was completely forgotten about after that and the feelings of attachment I had to him were only amplified after this, since obviously it was told in such a way that made him look like a victim for years. I would come to find out much later that many parts were complete bullshit and told through an extremely distorted perspective. Sam would tell tales of abusive partners and stalking and harassment which I would come to accept as unquestionable truth for nearly the next two years, until I ended up talking to some of his exes after the breakup by pure chance.

By this point though,

Again, yes this really is Sam:

(see next image)

(Yes, the note is still there, this is from an account I used before we broke up)

After the affection peaked, Sam pulled away drastically. Months later, I would find out that it was essentially since he was “done” with me sexually. He would claim that I was the one forcing affection on him and that he never meant/tried to lead me on, which is just blatantly false.

A couple months later, I found out he had a partner, not from him of course, but from the partner, who I started talking to by chance. I confronted him about it, and Sam claimed he was just reserved about it and spun it on me by saying he  was just “waiting for a good time to tell me” and didn’t want to hurt my feelings:

By this point I was far too gone, I had already applied to colleges near him to try and be close to him, since I was under the impression we would be together if I came out to him in Michigan. Later that night he guilted me more and passively threatened suicide, something he had already done in the past and would continue to do until even when we broke up. He would leverage suicide and self harm to guilt me and keep me trapped. Here is one example:

Above is the phrase “kill myself” on the last account I talked to him on, obviously those are not the only times he said something relating to self harm.

Here is more:

And these two:

The next month was relatively uneventful as far as Sam and I went.

That all changed when we met up at the start of December. While we were there, we kissed and made out multiple times, all while he was still with his partner. It was from this meetup onward where we essentially began “pseudo-dating” where we were dating in every essence but title. He did not officially end things with his partner until around the end of the month, but things between them went unresolved until almost March.

We met up again in January, where we had sex. I was two months into being 17, and he was 21. I will note that nothing IRL was strictly illegal, as the age of consent is 17 in my home state (New York), but obviously in context the age gap is questionable. I would always reassure him about the gap, because in my mind our initial encounter and not asking ages was a genuine mistake. I had zero idea that he had a long history with this.

The next couple months consisted of us more or less dating, and in March Sam confessed to having an extreme, runaway porn addiction.

He explained:

(By the way, “Blue” never cheated on Sam with “Red”. This was a construct in Sam’s distorted narrative, and was not actually true.)

This made it all clear to me the reason he had gone and reached out to me in the first place. This is why he drove it in a sexual direction, because he wanted me to be his next sexual hit.
By this point things started making sense. I had suspected something going on between him and “Orange”, a mutual friend, for some time, and my suspicions were proven correct when I asked him about it:

“Orange” was 16, and Sam consistently ERP’d with them over the course of at least 6 months. Later, when Sam would come to stay with me in New York, he would guilt me and threatened to leave me for not being comfortable with the idea of him and I meeting up with “Orange.” It was something he held against me the entire time.

In addition, if you are wondering why all these accounts are deleted, and they span numerous deleted accounts, yes, it is for the same reason:

Also, he claimed I was the first person he ever told in all his years about it. But you can clearly see from Dim’s account that that’s just a flat-out lie.

The next few weeks consisted of me trying to get him to jerk off less and to no avail. It is worth mentioning that throughout the whole time we pseudo-dated into officially dating, I don’t actually know just how many people he did this with. He directly confessed to two, “Orange” and “Yellow” (who I will talk about in a moment), and I only have marginal suspicions about a couple of others. The thing is, I don’t know just how many there were. The truth is, the amount of people he cheated on me, Reti, Diamond, and all his partners with, are in the dozens. And, many of those who he cheated with are his victims. Though I stated before, if you’ve made it this far, you have probably made the connection that Sam cheated on Diamond to get with Reti, then cheated on Reti to get with me, all the while ERPing with dozens of other people.

By this point, I was still well under his grasp. My mind wouldn’t even let me consider the idea of breaking things off, and we continued to go on. I reassured him that everything would be fine and that I didn’t hold it against him, in large part because I thought that this meant he would go on to better himself.

What happened next completely destroyed any shred of self confidence and integrity I had and set the stage for my biggest insecurity over the following year.

I would go on a class trip to Taiwan at the end of March into start of April, and due to time zones and being busy with trip activities there were not a lot of chances to talk. Not that it mattered, however, as he would be spending most of his time with “Yellow.”

Over the course of the week and a half I was away, Sam would cheat on me continuously with Yellow and an entire drama would unfurl with one of Yellow’s friends, where Sam went completely off on them for some mundane reason that I genuinely cannot even remember. I remember seeing the screenshots later and even in my mental state of completely unquestioning loyalty to Sam not knowing what he was even inflamed by. (This was honestly a rather frequent occurrence with quite a few people).

So while I am on the other side of the world, Sam is threatening suicide and saying he had overdosed on sleeping pills, so the entire time I am in Taiwan I am constantly dying of anxiety and worrying about Sam. It was so bad that if Sam was awake it was pretty much guaranteed that I wouldn’t be able to eat because of the pits in my stomach. It was so bad that even my generally eccentric Chinese teacher noticed and asked me if I was okay. Ironically, after I had graduated high school and came back to visit 8 months later, while Sam had likely completely neglected or forgotten about what he had put me through, my teacher still remembered and asked me if everything ended up being okay.

The treatment I faced in the months that Sam and I pseudo-dated truly set my mental health up for disaster. While I had brought in baggage on account of trauma from my previous two relationships, none of that remotely compared to any moment on any given day with Sam.

I was constantly compared to his exes, who he would constantly describe as absolute scum of the Earth and reprehensible people. And it wasn’t ever over anything substantive.

Completely unironic. This happened numerous times, being compared to mainly “White” and another ex, all over the most nothing comparisons. One was because we had similar phones, but I don’t think it was even the same brand.

 Actually having talked to “White” now, I genuinely do not know where he was getting this from. Neither myself, White, or our friends can see really any parallels between White and I. Sam was truly pulling these out of nowhere, maybe just in an attempt to put me down more.

Toward the end of April 2024, Sam would come to stay with me and my parents in New York. And so now we finally arrive at the relationship itself. For the sake of my part already being as long as it is, and also for the sake of my own mental health, I won’t talk at too much length about the relationship itself; I had to write my part for this document over the course of a few weeks, as I have severe trauma. Talking about everything with my therapist suggests genuine PTSD. And for the document, looking back at old conversations and seeing myself in various states of mental distress was not particularly healthy for me. I would see the countless amount of long messages of Sam berating me for everything I was doing wrong and I would begin to relive those moments, resulting in debilitating attacks of stress that I had never experienced from anything else before. I would end up curling up on the floor with my hands on my head crying and begging it to stop.

Saying the relationship was not good is an understatement. I blamed myself for everything until even after the relationship ended, a testament to just how hard-wired his conditioning was. I endured what I and my therapist can only describe as “complete personality psychosis” where my own original personality was split and a new one took dominance as a sort of mental protector. If you have ever heard the psychological term “identification with the aggressor”, that is a lot of what happened to me (I’ll elaborate on this a little later).  I unconsciously adopted certain personality traits of Sam, like ironically for instance, getting mad at rhythm games and taking them seriously, since that was something that affected me deeply. Sam would constantly get mad at rhythm games, and it would always feel like he took it out on me, and god forbid when I wasn’t able to get myself to take it seriously enough (as a result of a trauma response from my previous relationship, by the way) he would go off on me. If I didn’t show enough interest or enthusiasm in his incessant scoreposting to me, I knew I was going to get berated. Even when I desperately pleaded for a break from everything rhythm games he would continue to send me scores. This almost permanently ruined my relationship with rhythm games as a whole, and is only healing because of now being around the polar opposite kind of people from Sam. In the absence of that active trauma of Sam now, my altered personality has resolved, in absence of the “threat” that incites it in the first place. Looking back, it really began to split around the summer after Sam stayed with me and before I moved out to Michigan for college. From the link,

I endured every one of these implications except the urges to harm/be violent toward others.

For the sexual re-victimization, sex did not feel intimate with Sam whatsoever. I often felt raped and would dissociate during sex with him. I didn’t feel like I had the ability to say no. There were times when I tried to say no and I got guilted into doing it anyway.

Sam would not allow me to express my problems, and it all bottled up inside me. He accused me of not letting him speak about his own issues either, but this is just not true, as there are probably hundreds of long messages about everything he took issue with and everything he said I was doing wrong. Obviously, a lot was genuine issue, a lot owing due to my trauma, and the potential borderline personality disorder I developed out of it. But the thing is, being broken up now, my therapist and I agree that Sam was unquestionably the problem. I can count on one hand the amount of “BPD triggers”/responses I have had from the trauma from past relationships in the 5 months since the end of the relationship. Compare this to multiple times each day with Sam. Sam obsessed over the idea of me having BPD, and while I agreed it felt like me, instead of trying to sympathize or attempt to accommodate that, his response was to completely dehumanize me. He would say things like “people with BPD do X” or “what you’re doing is just because of your BPD.” I felt like a case study. By the end of it, I was just completely stoic. Completely dissociated 24/7, and clinically depressed for the first time since the 6th grade. For the first time since middle school, I self harmed. I slammed my hand into the corner of my desk, I picked up the serrated end of a tape dispenser and ran it over my knuckles, I picked up the sharp scissors and began cutting my arms. I was idealizing suicide. If not for the relationship ending around this point, if it continued the way it did, I might have genuinely taken my own life, something I had only considered once before. I am not a passively depressed person. That’s how bad it was.

When the relationship ended it was like this immense fog had lifted. The fog was so bad during the relationship I couldn’t remember four digit 2FA codes. I would have to practically hold my phone next to the text box. After the breakup, that fog dissipated, and is  still gone to this day.

After the breakup, I didn’t even consider the possibility of reaching out to his exes, either, (besides Reti, who was my friend before everything), but by pure chance I ended up in a group chat with a couple of them, and my entire worldview that Sam had conditioned began to rapidly fall apart. I discovered that all the stories he had told me about them were either severely warped or just flat out fabricated.

Sam was beyond convinced that all his exes were stalking him and out to get him, but the reality is that basically none of them wanted anything to do with him. Sam would have delusions about reconnecting with them, which is insane as he would simultaneously decrie their existence, but none of those exes would have ever considered talking to him again. In reality, Sam was the stalker. He would constantly check in on those exes, look at all their accounts and follow every movement of theirs that he could. For example of how absurd, he knew exactly when “Blue”’s private twitter username changed. He did this to me as well after he broke up with me.

For context, my friend had a porn account, and they followed me on it by accident instead of their main. As a joke, I followed back, because I thought it was funny. And yes, it was genuinely a joke, I don’t look at porn. I found out that within half an hour of me following them, Sam knew. Which is just beyond absurd to me. Keep in mind, he had me blocked on Twitter since around a week before we even broke up.

Sam’s excuse was often that he had his exes blocked everywhere, so clearly he couldn’t be stalking them, which is just obviously not true. He might have me and many other of his exes blocked, but it doesn’t mean anything. We want nothing to do with him, but he will still stalk us relentlessly. Further, after I had become good friends with the group chat I joined (that contained a couple of his exes) we decided to do a collab on osu, I found out that he had found out within around two hours.

I am beyond glad that the relationship is over. I didn’t know it then, but it saved my life. I now talk to some of the most wonderful friends I have ever made, and I could not be more glad that things with Sam ended. I knew I would never have the strength to breakup with him myself, and I had already gone through so much anguish that by the time he broke up with me it was like it had already happened. He had pushed me away enough it was like no different anyways.

Less than a week after he broke up with me, he tried pulling me back in, and you can just sort of tell by my messages how numb I was:

Which I ignored, because I knew what he was trying to do. The following day he switched methods and got me to respond:

Then the following day:

And of course, it wouldn’t be complete without him generalizing me:

Sam is both a predator and a terrible person. I was by no means some perfect partner in the relationship, but I didn’t deserve the treatment I had. Being out of it now has stopped the constant self blame that I had for years. I was in denial of all of this even weeks after the relationship ended, but after learning just how deep this goes there is no denying anything anymore.

And if you think my experience with Sam is unique, you’d be damned. Every single one of us has endured this.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far.

Dim/DiamondParagon:

Physical Abuse

During a random 2 am vc, I was in a call with Sam and another mutual friend of ours. The mutual friend was afk and Sam was just playing etterna when he got mad at a chart. He banged his hand on his desk and I heard his sister yelling outside his door most likely because the banging was loud and late at night, and the next thing I knew he was deafened. I sat in silence for a few minutes really confused at what happened. I was so dry in my responses to what he was saying because I was in shock at what happened. I had never witnessed him doing something like this, he had always talked to me and complained about his family life but I never expected something like that. He almost killed his sister over a video game.

The last screenshot is eerie to me because he moves on from that convo so fast, and just starts talking about etterna. He’s acting like his behavior is completely normal and justified.

The next instance of Sam's physical abuse is from years ago when he was 14-15. Unlike with his sister’s incident, the public knew about this, it gained a lot of traction in the Geometry Dash community and is one of the main reasons why he left the community altogether. You can still find people talking about it by searching YGYoshi on twitter, there was originally an expose video from a long time ago but it is now removed.

The rundown of what happened is pretty simple: Sam was on his pc, and his mom shut down the wifi. Sam then threatened his mom with a knife, saying he would kill her because she turned the internet off.

I can’t find the messages, but based on what I can remember of what Sam told me, he said he was a different person and he wouldn’t do something like that again. There were a bunch of people going around exposing him and witchhunting him, so he pretty much left the community for good after that happened.

With MOTL6 right around the corner, people deserve to know about the abuse and danger Sam has committed to those around him.

From Shirou’s messages:

Manipulation and lying

In addition to being a groomer and abuser, Sam is also a chronic liar and manipulator. He lies so much in order to save face/look good in situations where he’s been wrong. The screenshots below depict an instance where Sam was apologizing for putting me through hell years ago, saying he felt immense guilt from it, yet was telling the victim he was in a relationship with at the time that I was the one who pressured him into a relationship.

Reticent/Augie/sbwfrplaid

Hi, most of my followers and friends know me as Reticent or Reti, but I was formerly known as Augie and sbwfrplaid in other online spaces, mainly the osu!mania community. I would like to take over this part of the document to expose Sam’s manipulative and toxic side, even if it’s not as important to the picture nor as impactful as the grooming aspect. I want to clarify that I don’t hold grudges nor hate anyone involved even if I’ve been wronged deeply. I will mostly be talking about my relationship and personal experience with him in depth and lay out a followable timeline for any events that happened in the time I was with him. With that being said, I’ll start from the beginning of our friendship, where I was someone with a very limited online presence, ready to start college and a new chapter in my life. I met Sam at the start of July 2021, him being 18 and me 17, turning 18 in November of that year. After he’d followed me on my twitter consisting of 30-ish followers, he’d add me on Discord and talk to me there. I was fairly new to osu!mania, but those active during this time know how dominant his name was within the player space, so even if I didn’t have the smallest idea of how good he was at the game yet, his name and identity still held a lot of weight to any player that closely followed the game and that included myself.

Our early conversations would revolve around the game and his struggles with being a top player and the public perception of such, nothing out of the ordinary for the first week, until after around a week of silence after our first chat he would come back and have some conversations a bit more serious concerning his personal life and MWC 2021 and the stress it brought him, among other mania related things. I was not aware until he’d told me from his own word that he had a history with Geometry Dash and osu!standard, so my knowledge and perception of him mostly came from his mania accomplishments and what he’d publicly posted on his now deleted YouTube and Twitter.

I want to make it known before I continue with this next segment that I unfortunately don’t have proof that any future conversations with his old account (iylwrychi) took place as I blocked him on that Discord account, as well as Discord wiped the message history on multiple other future alt accounts and won’t allow me to view my message history on those let alone Sam’s old, deleted profile. What I do have however is my message history with him from the very start of 2023 to the end of our relationship and friendship, though most of everything earlier than that, limited to my own experiences with him, is lost to time.

 CW: Sexual conversations, ERP, self-harm, suicide

I intend to include these following details to show that there is a pattern to his behavior with other people and future love interests, as well as establish the complete tonal change he had with me upon finding other people to ERP with. Very early on Sam would try to incite sexual conversations with me through text, asking me about my smell and sweat and offering to sniff me, and I’d reciprocate very often if not every time. From this point forward he’d ask less about my days and how I was doing and would ask more to ERP and sext than anything, I was naïve enough to not completely understand what was happening even though I’ve had experiences with being groomed in the past by adults and people in positions of power. I didn’t notice how one-sided and conditional the affection and love Sam gave me was, he was essentially love bombing me to provide sexual favors for him, and I was naïve enough to blindly provide that for him since he was a person I was very interested in and had genuine love and care for.

We’d play games together for hours on end and waste our whole days playing games like Minecraft and eventually Stardew Valley, and as time went on, I’d muster up the courage to ask him to be my partner in mid-October of 2021. I’d get a long message explaining essentially that he’d love to, but he had a loose end to tie up with someone, whom I’d later find out was DiamondParagon (I will be referring to them as Diamond from now on, and that they were in fact together during the time me and Sam had started ERPing and sexting [these details were only revealed months after the fact once I had become close friends with Diamond]). I eventually confronted him with this information, he’d plea to me that he felt “pressured” to get into and stay in his relationship with Diamond and since I genuinely believed he was acting in good faith I affirmed that I understood and told him once things were resolved I’d still want to be together. After this point we’d made the relationship official, and at no moment between this time (October 2021) and November 2023 did we ever truly agree to split or take a break from each other (this point will come up later as it involves a common manipulative tactic Sam employs). Very early on into our relationship it was apparent to me that I’d made a bad decision, between constant verbal degradation and toxicity to Diamond and myself (calling us stupid and sometimes retarded for minimal mistakes in video games we played together, taking otherwise light hearted jokes to heart and getting confrontational…) to threatening self-harm and even suicide at the presence of any argument or disagreement, it was a living nightmare that unfortunately drove me to relapse to cutting and self-harm in any way I could find.

This period lasted until the end of the year, I wouldn’t talk about this trouble with anyone else as I didn’t want any gossip to be spread around and potentially cause a falling out with my favorite person in the world despite him hurting me so much, and more importantly I didn’t want him to find out I’d hurt myself, as he’d often mentioned he wanted someone mentally healthy and I also wanted to avoid him feeling any kind of guilt for hurting me, as I thought it was the last thing he needed while recovering from a toxic relationship. Things didn’t get better for the rest of the year and most of 2022 as I didn’t ever want to confront Sam out of fear of retaliation, others have often described talking to him like walking on eggshells but it’s more like walking in a minefield with how easily things can be misinterpreted by him and lead him to build a narrative on why you’re a bad person for having a certain opinion about a personal situation of his or simply had a bad or awkward interaction. We would sometimes get into a multitude of arguments over minimal disagreements that would lead to him ghosting me for days and expressing regret for being with me, making empty apologies every time after the events to try to keep me close to him.

I had never been a deeply paranoid person but I always had hunches about Sam, scared that he’d not only be cheating on me, but doing something that he wasn’t supposed to, due to how secretive he was about who he talked to and the half-truths he’d often give me when it came to talking about certain situations of his past. Come January of 2022, I woke up one day to a multitude of hectic messages from Diamond, saying he needed to talk with me and to show me something. My worst fears had not only been confirmed, but reality was much worse than I’d ever anticipated, which caused me to spiral mentally and emotionally. Sam began talking to a 15-year-old, lying about his age to them for no good reason, and ERP’d with them at the age of 19. I didn’t think things could get worse, until I got a similar reasoning as to why he did what he did. He’d explained to me through text that he was “pressured” by this minor to ERP. He should’ve known better by this point as he’s an adult, but I still foolishly thought he could have made an honest mistake, so after my confrontation with him I foolishly gave him a second chance to make things right. I was naïve enough at 18 to not realize the gravity of the situation and made a conscious effort to sweep this under the rug as anyone else finding out about this would mean his reputation would be tarnished. I’d become an enabler to his behavior without intending to, and I disgraced a victim to a groomer in the process.

After these events, Sam became much more distant in 2022, playing games alone and not wanting to call or text for days on end, which I was okay with but paranoid about, as I had a very strong fear that he’d repeat his offense if left unchecked. I tried my best to be there for him during this period despite everything, he’d claim I was the only person he talked to during these long days that he mostly spent alone. This period lasted around 3-4 months, however the rest of the year went decently as he would make an attempt to improve his life creating positive habits, these wouldn’t last longer than 2 months as is common with him, but the effort was very much appreciated from my end, as it meant that maybe there was care to be found within the toxicity I’d been living in, which would persist for the rest of our relationship. He would still threaten suicide often, buying sleeping pills from amazon and threatening to take them if we had any rough argument. At the end of the year, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel when he’d expressed a lot more love and care than usual. I was ready to turn a page and put the past behind me for a better future as I thought he’d been expressing the same desire from the very start of our relationship.

Once 2023 came around, things seemed to finally be getting better for a good amount of time, as we were on great terms for a long time and wouldn’t have arguments as often nor were they as long-lasting or intense, but it’s worth noting they would still happen. 2023 was a new beginning for both me and Sam, as we’d both decided to create alternate accounts with a different identity to our mania aliases, he would now go by Miro/mirodergy, and I would go by sbwfrplaid (Thanks to this, I had a very easy time finding screenshots from this time as I never blocked or lost his Miro discord account, however it’s worth noting I will not scrub through our entire message history (~100k messages) for the sake of brevity and will only provide what’s necessary to make my point clear). During this time, I had slowly been building a group of supportive friends that helped me understand the reality of the situation I was in, giving me very helpful advice and guidance through what felt like a year and a half of fog and a lack of direction. Though me and Sam were on great terms at the start of the year, around March I had found the courage to begin showing resistance to his toxicity and manipulation, and in response the circumstances of our relationship would of course get significantly worse. One conversation in February of 2023 stood out to me as I was compiling screenshots for this document, as it illustrated the nature of our relationship well.

First, some context; I had started branching out and messaging more people since late 2022 to revive my social life online and make new friends while also reconnecting with others I cared about very much. This did not mean that I’d tried to call anyone yet though, and prior to the first screenshot that I provided, I’d mentioned I wanted to call a friend for weeks at that point, letting Sam know that it was something that I wanted to do and was going to do at some point, since I know he doesn’t do well with surprises (which he acknowledges in the screenshotted conversation). The day that I’d finally get the chance to call a close friend of mine had finally come, and I told him a day in advance that I’d planned this with my friend, even telling him who it was. Before the call though, I wanted to call Sam and spend time with him and reassure him that it would be okay. 

Throughout this conversation, it’s apparent that Sam wants control over my time and emotional attachment for him more than anything, feigning his understanding of my struggle with making friends and using the circumstances of the way our relationship started as a justification of his own actions in that moment. He tries getting me caught on my alleged lie of “I don’t hang out with people late at night after I disconnect from the call” and succeeds because I simply did not want to argue about this to him, as untrue as this was for the most part. Despite me submitting and telling him what I assume he wants, he continues pressing me with more issues, such as him not liking surprises as I’d mentioned earlier, which is ironic considering I had told him with a day of notice, not a few hours like he'd suggested, not to mention he would often appeal to my emotions to get what he wanted, and would not stop at harsh topics.

This next screenshot is after I had spent some time with the mentioned supportive group of friends that helped me with suggestions on how to navigate difficult situations with Sam, my main takeaway being that I needed to be more confrontational and direct, not seceding to his demands if he disrespected me.

The night prior to this I had come back after a long day of studies and college work, and while we were calling during the night, though I don’t remember much, I had started speaking about my short-term and long-term goals which were misinterpreted and mischaracterized by him, which later led to him going on a long tirade about how I should treat my goals according to him because the way I was treating my goals was disrespectful to him. In response to this, I’d stop listening and unintentionally pass out in that call as I was very tired and had a very long day, which he was very unhappy with the following morning, thus starting the conversation above. You can see that he’d focus on any and everything else but the initial topic, bringing up not just flaws and bad habits I had mentioned I would work on as short-term improvements for myself, but simply time I spent with my friends. After waking up and reading his messages I simply expressed myself, though not as respectfully as I could have, I tried my best to be clear and direct. After my rebuttal, he “didn’t know how to respond” and left the conversation at that, which discomforted me to the point I changed the subject so things could feel okay. Though I was managing his tactics better, I still couldn’t help but continue to fall victim to his manipulative traps.

After this favorable outcome in March, the rest of the year remained somewhat the same until November, when I had a situation with him when we were planning to meet up. I will keep it short as this isn’t important to the whole picture, as important as it may seem; we effectively broke up. The reason we broke up was the unpredictable nature of my own daily life which also happened to affect the date of our meetup, as well as my mother not really making anything easier for me, as much as she was willing to come with me and meet Sam. Post-“breakup”, Sam continued interacting with me as if we were still a couple under the gist of “not having a label”, and I’d reciprocate, as I still wanted to be a part of his life and make him happy, as naïve as that idea was. This is eerily similar to Diamond’s situation as he too had the same experience with Sam, feeling too emotionally attached to leave him because of the lack of a label to the relationship he and I had. I have screenshots from December of 2023 showing me and him still talking to each other as partners, which I’ll put down below. It is especially odd to me looking back, as he’d been talking with Shirou (still a minor) romantically during this time, which I was unaware of as Sam was dishonest to me about it as much as I gave him every opportunity to be honest.

Just a day after this conversation, Sam acknowledged he was leading me on and playing with my emotions to keep me wrapped around his thumb, being one of the very few times I felt he was completely sincere with me about his intentions and emotions, while at the same time suicide-baiting.

I don’t have very much to say about this screenshot except that this is textbook emotional manipulation and suicide baiting in the same screenshot.

I want to show one last screenshot to show you the person Sam is behind closed doors is very different from what he makes it seem publicly, he’s very mysterious about his persona because he does not want people to find out about how he truly is: toxic, tribalistic and insensible.

I don’t think I need to comment further on this screenshot besides contextualizing it, it truly speaks for itself. For context, this is a screenshot taken after he’d found out that someone he wanted to help had taken action against their abuser in a way he’d disagreed with. I’ve blurred their names out of respect for their privacy, as they’re not essential nor noteworthy to the story. It’s also worth mentioning that the past three screenshots I’ve shown were within the span of just 3 days in December.

Past this point, from early to mid 2024, I had made the decision to slowly distance myself from Sam and eventually blocked him on everything once we had a personal altercation during which he’d insult my character and person, which I didn’t tolerate even after being offered an apology. I’d later find out many more details that led me to write this part of the document, such as these messages sent to a 16-17 year old minor at the time, while he was still in a relationship with me.

Thus, my story with him ends, and I want to be very clear, avoid interacting with Sam in any way possible. Do not pay him any mind, do not give him any interaction on any social media, and do not reply to any messages or friend requests he may send you. You will dig yourself into a hole you thought impossible to dig yourself into, and before you know it, you’re playing around in a minefield, completely blindfolded and unaware of where you’re stepping.

Other strange and unreasonable behavior

The following screenshot shows his admission to playing part in an incident that occurred regarding the Meow Mania tournament. The basic explanation is the following: Sam and another party gained access to the tournament’s twitch stream via their stream key and were going to hijack the stream during finals to blast the N word, but what ended up happening was much worse. In addition to blasting a South Park clip of Randy Marsh saying the N word, they also displayed animated pornography with audio, which could have led the twitch account to get banned. This lasted under a minute and the owner of the twitch account was able to stop the stream and delete the VOD. The incident made waves on Twitter, where people expressed confusion and heavy discomfort with what had transpired, some expressing they were even traumatised. This VOD was unfortunately not archived, though a clip of Sam laughing hysterically as this happened is currently floating around somewhere in a closed channel of his private Discord server.

Conclusion

Sam is not only a danger for victims online, but also physically dangerous, and it is imperative that we can spread the truth about him and his terrible actions he has done to multiple victims. Sam, typically maintains a very closed-off, private online life, but is now trying to slither his way back into communities such as SDVX. With him trying to find new people in this community, who knows how many other victims out there who he’s talking to. Sam cannot control his sexual urges around others and is very mentally ill. He should not be anywhere near public rhythm game events such as these, especially because of his status as a high-level player, because it gives him a platform to manipulate others easily. We must spread word on what he has done so that we can get rid of his platform and eliminate him from having any chance at grooming or abusing someone again.

Dim/DiamondParagon

A personal message to Sam:

I can’t believe you would throw everything away after finally attempting to get your life together. Everything you made me go through was for nothing, you never learned. I forgave you for hurting me, but I’ll never forgive you for continuing to hurt and groom others, after promising it would never happen again. It astonishes me that after apologizing to me for everything you put me through, that you would turn around and tell others that I was pressuring you for a relationship. What did you expect after initiating sexual stuff with me? I’m not gonna allow you to do this to anyone else, after 4 years you still haven’t learned your lesson. I thought you would know out of anybody, that what happens in the dark, always comes to light.

Reticent/Augie/sbwfrplaid

Our friendship and even romantic relationship may have been doomed from the very start, but you know I did everything in my power to help you every step of the way to bring you the help, motivation and presence you so desperately needed in your life. Little did I know you'd throw it all away within just a few weeks of us splitting. If you truly want to improve your life for the better, acknowledge your hedonistic lifestyle and predatory urges and make a conscious effort to apologize to the victims personally first, focus on yourself later. I truly think that everyone has a good side to them, but I can’t really say that I’ve seen that side of you ever before, I pray that changes and that you truly learn from your deliberate mistakes. I’ll leave you with a quote you must know well by now:
“Endings don’t last forever, but regrets last a lifetime”.