Democracy Dies in Darkness

Carolyn Hax: Daughter-in-law ‘barely tolerates’ her. Can she ever win her over?

Letter writer gives her daughter-in-law the space she wants and zero advice, but just doesn’t get why they’re not close.

4 min
(Illustration by Nick Galifianakis for The Washington Post)
Column by

Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: My daughter-in-law barely tolerates me in spite of my doing any favor she asks, never giving advice and trying my best to have no demands. The only time I broke down and asked my son about it, he said I handle “it” well. She has no contact with her family for legitimate reasons, I believe.

What readers are saying

The comments suggest that the mother-in-law should respect her daughter-in-law's boundaries and not force a closer relationship. Many commenters emphasize the importance of being polite, respectful, and accepting of the daughter-in-law's aloofness, as it may stem from her past... Show more
This summary is AI-generated. AI can make mistakes and this summary is not a replacement for reading the comments.
By
Carolyn Hax started her Washington Post advice column in 1997, after five years on the Style desk and none as a therapist. The column includes cartoons by "relationship cartoonist" Nick Galifianakis — Carolyn's ex-husband — and appears in dozens of newspapers.
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