Your Jezbollah party

What will Jeremy Corbyn’s new political party be called? So far it has been dubbed “Your Party” – like “Your M&S” – with a name expected to be hammered out at a “founding conference” this Autumn. One fan from Nottinghamshire has got ahead of the game and registered Jezbollah.com, presumably a mash-up of “Jez” and “Hezbollah”. It could be a wind-up. But a click on the domain name takes internet users to the “Your Party” official website. Vote Jezbollah for a brighter Britain? You heard it here first.

Andrea’s music critics

Reform UK’s Dame Andrea Jenkyns detects double standards after she was mocked for singing her self-penned song “Insomnia” at the Reform party conference in a sequinned cat suit. She says: “It’s the usual, hypocrisy and pearl-clutching.” Jenkyns complains that the same “Guardian-loving Lefties and Conservative MPs” heap praise on “MP4”, a longstanding amateur band comprising MPs from all parties. “They wanted to perform in Eurovision,” she says. I call it two tier music criticism.

No Guardian snappers please

Ping! An email sent to staff at the Guardian by the paper’s picture desk late last week says: “Please can we stop referring to photographers as ‘snappers’. I’m sure it’s nobody’s intention but it is demeaning, devalues our visual journalism and is demoralising for the photography team.” Aren’t there more important things to worry about?

Royal wipers

Everyone knows that the Land Rover Defender is the Royal Family’s favourite vehicle (Prince Philip’s coffin was carried on a Defender 130 Gun Bus, designed by the late Duke himself). But TV presenter Ben Fogle claims in a new compilation of Spectator “Notes On...” columns that the late Queen Elizabeth II designed hers with windscreen wipers on the inside to wipe away the condensation made by her dogs. Can this be true?

Aspel’s elixir of youth

TV presenter Gyles Brandreth caught up with chatshow host Michael Aspel at ITV’s 70th birthday celebrations this week. Neither appears to have aged. Brandreth tells me: “I hosted my first show – Child of the Sixties – for ITV in 1969. What amazed me about Michael Aspel was how he hadn’t changed at all, looking exactly as he looked when I first met him half a century ago. The moment he saw me he didn’t just remember my ‘This Is Your Life’ 25 years ago, he remembered all the details.” Aspel is now 92, but looks three decades younger. What’s he been drinking?

Calling the BBC’s bluff

The BBC has sunk millions into “Stranded On Honeymoon Island”, hosted by Davina McCall, which deposits pairs of strangers on a tropical beach in the hope of finding true love. And it has been a flop, with an average 517,000 people tuning in to a recent episode. But over on BBC Four this week, a re-run of Call my Bluff from 1978 was watched by an average of well over quarter of a million viewers, with Robert Robertson asking Joanna Lumley and Frank Muir “scutchanele”, “secourgeon” and “axicle”, among others. That night an average 149,000 viewers – peaking at 232,000 – watched a 1976 repeat of Face the Music, in which Joyce Grenfell, Richard Baker and a youthful David Attenborough were grilled on classical music and opera. Could the BBC be seriously under-estimating the intelligence of its audience?

Maurice’s protest

French President Emmanuel Macron’s Brexit-bashing speech to Parliament was too much for Lord Glasman, the founder of the blue Labour movement, who tells me on this week’s Chopper’s Political Podcast that he walked out midway through. The last straw was when Macron said that illegal migrants were coming because we’ve got a cash economy. He said: “I had to leave his speech in the Lords when he said that. I just walked out because that’s just disrespectful and silly.” Je suis Maurice!

Flag day

All eyes on the BBC’s Last Night of the Proms at the Royal Albert Hall, where many of the 5,000-strong audience will be waving flags as they sing Land Of Hope And Glory and Jerusalem. Proms organisers expect more Israeli and Palestine flags in the hall this year, alongside the ubiquitous European Union flags handed out by campaigners at the door. But perhaps this is the moment for St George’s flags – rather than hung from lamp-posts – to flood the hall? Rule, Britannia!

All out Chopper!

One of the London Underground strike days this week, with the roads largely grid-locked, I walked 27,023 steps from Grosvenor Sq to Westminster to Downing St to Vauxhall to Westminster to Kensington and then to Paddington reporting for GB News. That’s 13.5 miles – more than a half marathon. Are Tube strikes bad for the economy – but good for your health?

Peterborough, published every Friday at 7pm, is edited by Christopher Hope. You can reach him at peterborough@telegraph.co.uk