i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job
He could have just worn gloves, but chose not to.
I haven’t been on Tumblr for at least 2 years, I come back, and I see the old faves - but improved
If we do not stop this we've already lost the next generation.
Every time I see a clip from a PragerU video I have to double check that it's not The Onion
He’s right. Ten dollars for that much cheese, buying it is the only correct decision.
currently thinking about how funny it would be to have a group of those kinky mechsploitation lesbian pilots with the fucked up handler hound dynamics and throw one (1 ☝️) super robot shonen girl in there who's completely unaffected
FSGBEDTBHNETDHBNETHNTBHDNJYHRNRN
Make sure to ALWAYS tattle when someone in a position of authority fucks with you in a way that breaks rules. Even if it's something that you can live with
So yesterday we had a meeting about when the mandatory(!) english language classes are going to be, which ended with the teacher announcing that she'll have to kick out some second year students and prioritise upperclassmen, because she can't teach all of us, despite us all being able to sign up for the class. She even urged some of my classmates to get up and leave right there, since we can just sign up again next year (with no guarantee that our schedule will align again to let us attend of course)
I didn't leave, and today i got an email from her saying that I have to sign off of the course, while other second years i know got one saying they're welcome to come to class.
So I was like wtf. So i went in to the registar's office, and everyone there was like She Can't Do That. So now they're contacting the fucking vice-dean for academic affairs to ask about this and told me to go in to class as normal. How's everyone semester going so far
Asking you to fuck yourself over (like leave a class you need) on purpose is often code for "i can't legally do that to you but pweease"
Me when someone else has a heavy accent when speaking English: That accent is charming and I can tell they put in a lot of effort to learn English.
Me when I have a heavy accent speaking another language: They are going to shoot me the second I open my mouth aren’t they
Anonymous asked:
thoughts on planes. i love planes
Those things that did that tragedy? Yeah.. I'll pass.
Erasermic Yuri, my beautiful girls
Local older sibling has to babysit for an afternoon
We should use "unsportsmanlike" outside of formal competitions, to describe things that shouldn't be outright illegal, but are definitely not in the spirit of what we're trying to accomplish here.
Cheating on your spouse? Unsportsmanlike.
Taking advantage of people's generosity? Unsportsmanlike.
Murder? Very unsportsmanlike.
#bloody bad form old chap
"Bad form" is also a good phrase
Charles, I hate to tell you this, but murder is in fact very illegal.
Use of "unsportsmanlike" as a criticism has the same energy as giving that asshole who cut you off in traffic a thumbs down instead of the finger. Denies them credit for the magnitude of their sins, casts them as a failure at some measure of decency that you're generously assuming they were trying to do. Huge "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed" vibes. I approve.
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged hiveswapturing-testedFollownon homestuck dont understand. if you have cosplayed terezi, sollux, or dirk at ANY point in your life you have bought shades from the same man. like its literally just one man whos making HUNDREDS of pairs of specialty cosplay glasses. it is literally JUST one man who makes those glasses on the entire internetturing-testedthis one man controls the entire pointy anime shades supply. if he ever dies we are all thoroughly fuckt and left to make our own like animalsturing-testedYALL HE FOUND MY POST AND RESPONDED“homestuck keeps the lights on” im not crying youre cryingsquawkingstoneI figured I’d track down and link his etsy, so here you go:https://www.etsy.com/shop/AkujinscoshallelujahmomentzI’m not a homestuck but hey this guy needs to eat so here’s a link if any of y’all arethe-outcast-deadWith the Homestuck animation pilot announced, this is a good time to help this one circulate. His shop is still active!
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged supreme-leader-stoatcaptainwarbuckleIt’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notesorangechickenpillowlyrslair
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged djpurple3khazrabloodFollowwannabee twitter already bending the knee to terfsfourohfourlifenotfoundIf we are ever going to stop this, then you guys need to start learning why this happens. And it's not always because some executive made a decision to favor a TERF. It's because the technology is broken in a way TERFs have learned to use to their advantage.So content moderation is a HUGE task. It is incredibly inefficient to manually monitor all user reports-- when you "flag" something as spam or inappropriate or 'inciting harm' (what Blueskye is saying the banned users had in their posts). So what actually happens is that the bulk of it is reviewed by machine. The precise "how" is a bit of a black box (if you say exactly, it makes it more vulnerable to being bypasses), but we generally know it's a bit of machine learning ("ai", but not he chatgpt kind) and a bit of automation. Generically this gets referred to as an "algorithm" (which is a meaningless word I don't have time to unpack here).The TERFs have a formula. A battle plan, if you will. I've been watching them use it for almost a decade. And they play social media sites like a fiddle every single time.The way it works is that they coordinate attacks on targets they dislike. (Usually trans people, but ace discourse is a notable example of targets not necessarily fitting that demographic.) They send links to each other of posts to report. They'll flag it for whatever the nearest thing they can is. The blueskye users were wishing ill to JK Rowling, so "inciting harm" was the excuse selected. "Inappropriate or sexually explicit content" is a common selection for other trans content.Then what happens is the content moderation "algorithm" sees a huge influx of reports for a certain post or user. And instead of making a human manually review all of that, it automatically initiates a ban or takedown. And if the "algorithm" has word censorship built in, it will begin to auto-flag for things containing words in posts frequently flagged, so it begins to auto-flag the word trans itself.This has been happening for almost a decade. There was a trans youtuber who proved TERF hater group chats flagged his videos so much that it started auto-demonitizing identical videos with the word trans in the title, but leaving ones without the word alone. I strongly suspect this is why we see huge amounts of trans women banned for no reason on tumblr. And this is clearly what is happening now.How do we fix it? There's no easy solution. All the things about the "algorithm" that make moderation easier for the social media platforms are the exact reasons it's so difficult to defeat. It's hard to teach a machine what's a genuine flag and a malicious one. Again, it's been almost a decade since the issue was raised with youtube, and there has yet to be a solution for rooting out malicious coordinated flagging.But here's one thing that can help: get TERFs off of social media. Stop letting them bait you into petty fights. Learn how to identify them. Block and report them. drtannerBlocking TERFs and other assorted bigots is especially effective on bsky, because the block function there is nuclear. In short, if you block someone, not only can they not view your account or any of your posts, but any replies they made on your posts will no longer be viewable by others, even if they haven't personally blocked that user themselves. If they quote you, you can even decouple your post from their quote. In short, blocking someone on bsky produces mutual hiding of content, and it's extremely effective at starving these cunts of oxygen. Bigots who can't convince people to fight with them and whose posts don't gain any traction because they're blocked by everyone and their dog leave the platform, i.e. Jesse Singal.It works, people just need to remember to do it more. Preemptive blocking of dickheads before they start shit with you is the best way to prevent things like this from happening.
vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedbiggest-gaudiest-patronusesFollowlove how the gay couple from Sesame Street and the gay couple from the Muppets have opposite relationship dynamics, while both somehow embodying the Romantic Idealbiggest-gaudiest-patronusesthe Heckling Your Partner vs Heckling With Your Partner dynamic (both are love languages)
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vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedcryptotheismFollowThe term "book of the dead" doesnt really give you perspective to how big a lot of Egyptian funerary texts are. Imhoteps book of the Dead is 64 feet long. somethingusefulfromfloridaOkay, but a lot of books would be that long if you laid the pages outnsomniacsdreamthe average printed page is 6 inches wide. so if a book is 128 pages, its 64 ft long. I dont think I own a book with fewer than 128 pages. cryptotheismIt's honestly not that impressive at all. Fuck Imhotep and his pathetic short book.
vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedollielephantFollowthatsnotwatyourmomsaidnone pizza with left beefthe-chocolate-chip-pancakeIt should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beefbabymarkersive missed youworldheritagepostorganizationWorld Heritage Post#tumblr classic
vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedsleepless-sleepFollowChoices when talking to Ralsei in Deltarune feel like thiskitschrubyThis reminds me of this old toby fox tweet lmaopunkitt-is-heredoodle i made when i couldnt find this post
vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedpukichoFollow"Don't steal" mfs when they see me stealing $50,000,000 dollars worth of cool shit for free: (Someone else add a reaction image I don't like them so I don't have any dowloaded.) cisnt-critter-just-rebloggingpukicho?
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged punkitt-is-herebongjoonheauxFollowI love wojaks that were like, clearly created with true hatred in mind. Not just your typical shit I mean like stuff where you can tell it was created under the steam of focused rage about like 1-4 specific people. I don't even need to agree with it I just love feeling the seething. Like this, there was passion here
vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedwhat-even-is-thissFollowWe no longer really see 16 or 15 or 13 or what have you as actually being an adult but we have parties for these things anyways what-even-is-thissWhen I was 14 I finished my confirmation classes and went through the confirmation ceremony. At that point I became a voting “adult” member of my church. Technically I could’ve run for church council. Was I an adult though? Lol no I wasn’t about to run for council at 14 are you kidding me who’s practically gonna let a 14 year old in on a budget meeting what-even-is-thissAmazing.
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vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedphantomrose96FollowcopperbadgeI cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. peepingneeThis poem format is my favorite thing and this is the first time I’ve ever seen it’s origin story. I love it. Every time. middle-earth-mythopoeiaTHE SACRED TEXTS!zetabrarianI forgot the context! It’s beautiful!
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged mayax81sprouchFollowshort film by jonathan djob nkondo, posted to tiktok by the artist who did the sound, nicholas snyder
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged apollos-boyfriendvampyyprincessFollow”spam like = block” yeah ok buddy. when i wake up to tumblr notifs of someone spam liking my stuff i start giggling and kicking my feet
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged jaykattalexmey-does-an-artsFollowhachamaFor anyone who needs it. Use in good health.
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged punkitt-is-heremiiilowoFollowFTM PASSING ADVICE - start wearing typically masculine clothing, like suits with wide shoulders- people will tell you to not wear pinstripes because it'll make your chest and curves more obvious but think of it as a disguise to throw off their scent, like a zebra. it's urban camouflage - start callin other men "boss" as a sign of respect- always make sure to stay safe, keep a switchblade on you or a handgun or something- consider your diet, work some carbs and fat in there for when T starts workin it's magic. im talkin pasta, pizza, lasagna- tuck your hair up into a fedora if ya can't cut it- remember to voice train, if you layer on an accent maybe it'll be less obvious, like a Brooklyn one if you're not already from there- start snappin your rhythmically and intimidatingly when you find the poor bastard that owes the big man up top that several hundred grand who hasn't paid his dues yet. that'll show em who's the dominant man in the situation- put a playlist of noir jazz music together and have it playing on your phone in your pocket so it follows you at all times, this is crucial to exuding masculine energy- don't bind for more than 6-7 hours straight miiilowothe amount of people skimming this post or reading like the first 2 lines and maybe the last one and nothing else & going "umm... my passing advice? do whatever you WANT. stay HEALTHY." is so fucking funny
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged punkitt-is-heregirlnumbersFollowWHO? WHO? WHAT? HOW? WHO?? WHY? WHAT??? WHOM?? YOU?
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vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged mayax81loulooserFollowCan’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11thspinostarzi know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funnyloulooserwhy 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????jarsjamTHERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???i.pinimg.commightyhorseror
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged fish-food-schadhulkFollowI have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work! kybercrystalgems“Yeah, we hate seeing you work too!”lewvithurhow does this post keep getting better
vulto-cor-de-rosaRebloggedmoeria-deactivated20130301badgoatwishesi looked up the source for this and its from an anime where a dude has to keep a constant boner for a month straight or he loses his houserasec-wizzlbangis this the episode where he lost his housetheultimateblogingbeginsI have not stopped thinking about this even once for the last 8 years worldheritagepostorganizationWorld Heritage Post
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged what-even-is-thisslachonkFollowI think it's a shame that "Oedipus complex" refers to fucking your mom instead of the actual point of his story, fulfilling your destiny through your attempts to avoid it. It just so happens his destiny was to fuck his momcharyou-treeYeah, I don’t know what Freud was thinking, but Oedipus very much did Not want to fuck his mom. He spent the entire play trying to avoid that, and then gauged out his eyes when he learned that he had anyway. lachonkI think Freud was too caught up with the fantasy of fucking his mom to appreciate the themes of the story tbhits-the-freak-phonebeyond-a-namesee I don't think that comparison really works because the point of ulysses ogre is that he's actually really smart and getting it more than most people and just being really hard on himself whereas frued is dumber than the brick I want to bludgeon him with
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged dragon-mantisstraightboyfriendFollowthere is no medical component to a trans kid transitioningif a little trans boy comes out to his parents & is like 4 all youd do for his transition is cut his hair, buy a new wardrobe, & switch pronouns & possibly change namesno one is gonna put a little 4 year old on testosterone OR puberty blockers until theyre actually about to start puberty & then they give them a few years to really decide if they want to start hormonesa trans kid existing isnt “child abuse.”
child abuse is refusing to let your kid live their lives as they truly are & forcing them to present as a gender they arentstraightboyfriendradfems who interact with this post will be blocked & your argument will not be read or even considered. i do not care about the opinion of a transphobe & my original post still stands.gwenfrankenstiena few years ago a kid in my preschool class transitioned socially and the only consequence was that as soon as her best friend discovered that changing your name is allowed she wanted to change hers to DetectivethatgirlwhokeepsreadingSo stay with me here, but fun ballet fact: part of the reason you’re supposed to start ballet young is so you stretch and hold your joint in certain ways regularly enough that your body grows different. You know how men who do ballet look only sort of muscular but then like lift a whole ass person? Their muscles are trained to lie flat like that for flexibility, they don’t bulk up. Girl in your class who always stands in turnout? It’s likely not just habit, her joints probably sit like that now.I started ballet when I was six and stopped after three years. I then took a break for three years, and came back and did jazz ballet (which has most of the same body mods but without turnout) and tap for another couple of years. And every physio who works on my body looks at my feet, hips and calves and goes “oh you danced”. I was never even flexible enough to do the splits, but you best believe I stand in turnout. I never went en pointe, but I’m 95% sure tap is the reason my feet have random spasms if I don’t take to them with a tennis ball once a week.When I said I wanted to be a dancer at six years old, adults took that to mean I’d want certain permanent alterations to my body. Unlike with young trans kids, no one was looking to make sure I fully understood what I was getting into. And unlike with young trans kids, these changes were not reversible when I changed my mind. There wasn’t even a way to delay things to buy time (like puberty blockers), it was all or nothing. If I wanted to be a professional dancer, my normal ass joints were a ticking timebomb.So like ~cis opinion~, but I really don’t have a lot of time for people getting feral about trans kids socially transitioning or going on blockers or even (when they’re old enough for it be relevant) hrt. Me “identifying” as a dancer at six years old was more physically impactful and less informed than if a six year old changed their name and grew their hair, but you don’t see any of the adults in my life getting accused of child abuse.
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged what-even-is-thisshachamaFollowthel1ghtningthiefbringing this one out of the comments cause. yeah.
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged grahoriaefeceojotaFollowmiyoriiaaverage Seattle polycule living situation or somethingkaseboyfucking double decker couchgeorgebbwbush
vulto-cor-de-rosaReblogged punkitt-is-hereonly-tiktokspixelartpeachFor those worried about the crew having to do a whole job just for one person, flight staff only get paid for time they're in the air; if he'd cancelled, they wouldn't have gotten paid for zip.So in other words, he gave them an easy day where they can spend most of it on break, and also airplane staff should unionize.memendoemori-deactivated2025020Also the plane likely has to get to NC somehow so you might as well have fun with it
