I AM SO FUCKING PISSED I can't rape my literal shit because my parents said NO. FML!
YO, GOONERS! What's up?!
I need to vent, man. I am so fucking PISSED right now I could literally punch a hole through a wall. My parents are being such FUCKING NAZIS and it's ruining my life!
You guys know the feeling, right? When you're just chillin', doing your thing, and then the perfect idea hits you. The ultimate fantasy. The peak goon material. And it's right there, so close, you can almost taste it!
Well, that's what happened. My fat dump I just took was just there. Glistening and shining under the bathroom light. And the thought just hit me: "Man, this would be the ultimate goon. The most intense, most satisfying session EVER." I had it all planned out in my head. The mess. The complete splashes. The pure, unfiltered depravity. It was gonna be EPIC. World-shattering.
I was ready. My wii was PUMPING just thinking about it. I even grabbed some lube and a camera. This was gonna be the content of a lifetime!
But then... THEN MY FUCKING PARENTS WALKED IN!
And they just started screaming! "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" "PUT THAT DOWN!" "YOU'RE DISGUSTING!" Blah, blah, blah! All that lame, boomer shit! They actually had the nerve to tell me NO!
NO?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
They ruined it! They completely ruined my ultimate goon! They took away my chance for the most intense, most satisfying experience of my life! They just don't understand! They don't understand the depths! The pleasure! The sheer, raw power!
Now my parents are freaking out and crying, and I'm just sitting here, my wii limp, my goon session completely blue-balled! I'm so fucking frustrated I could scream!
This is why I hate parents, man. They just don't get it. They don't understand true pleasure. They don't understand the goon.
FML! I'm so fucking PISSED! I just wanted to goon out! Why are they so uncool?!
#goonedout #frustration #parentsruineverything #fuckparents #nopooprape #blueballed #rage #fml