Hey y’all. I’m finally back from vacation so I want to clear up things on my end and give my side of the story.
I want to start off by making it clear that I have no intention of defending Adora’s actions. I was aware she had toxic habits that I had been working with her to improve on, but I was completely unaware of the degree she affected others and the amount of people she had affected.
I had no idea she has treated so many people so poorly, and the DM’s she sent to Momo were beyond vile. Seeing the sheer amount of people Adora has hurt and manipulated is beyond heartbreaking.
Radia if you are reading this, I am sorry for how harshly I spoke to you during that call. Listening back on it now, and reading Radia’s point of view, I’ve realised I was primarily speaking from a place of frustration and not actually getting my concerns across productively or respectfully.
Prior to this call, I had always known that Radia had a lot on her plate, especially since the beginning of the year. When concerning behaviours on her end began to pile up, we tried to address them but had attributed her actions to stress and burnout.
I went into the call with good intentions but went about it the wrong way. I know when I’m passionate I come off very strongly, but my actions went beyond passion and over the line of reasonable. The tone was completely inappropriate, which contributed to making the call overwhelming for Radia. For that, again, I am sorry Radia.
For my part, I think my failures were due to the stress of launching Project STIM (our Vtuber group) a project that meant a lot to me, as I was the primary point of contact for the booth at Anime North. However, my communication with those around me suffered for it and I was not always as clear as I normally try to be. I can see now how concerns fell through the cracks and ultimately built up to a breaking point.
After the call, I got con crud and was out of commission until the next week. That week however, I learned that Radia said hurtful things about us publicly on stream, and that crossed both my personal and professional boundaries.
After that I no longer felt I could maintain any kind of relationship with Radia, so I distanced myself from her.
Since that final call with the group, we haven’t spoken to each other at all. I never brought any of this up on stream and kept myself grounded by venting my frustration to the family and friends closest to me.
Ultimately, I felt like Radia and I just weren’t compatible as people and wanted to let things lie so we could both move on.
Shortly after that however, I found out that Adora had sent a poorly edited version of the document we had written to organise our thoughts prior to the confrontation call to Digi without Fen or my knowledge.
That document was for us to figure out what we were going to say in that call, and quite frankly contained a lot of petty shit that we realised wasn’t relevant to our concerns, so they were never brought up in call.
If I was sent a document containing every nitpicky reason why my friends were upset with me, I would have been beyond upset too, and I don’t know why Adora thought it was ok to share that with anyone. I do not condone or support what Adora did and so I distanced myself from someone who was one of my closest friends.
This was over a month and a half ago, and I recognized that Project STIM, something I had poured all of myself into was toast within a month of its announcement.
The distance between Adora and I continued to grow when in the aftermath I was able to spend more time with others and I learned that behind my back Adora had a habit of treating creators, specifically those “smaller” than her, like trash.
I want to be clear that I don’t fuck with that kind of systematic bullying or elitist behavior.
We’re all only human and I made plenty of mistakes myself, but Adora’s actions are beyond unacceptable, and I hope everyone she has hurt can find their peace again.
I was aware Alicia and Adora had had a conversation about Adora’s behaviour, and it didn’t sound like Adora’s mental health was in a great spot, then Adora announced a Hiatus.
A few days later I got an announcement ping from Radia’s discord which seemed to imply that Adora had taken the hiatus because she had treated Radia poorly, when I knew it was for other reasons.
Even though I had separated myself from the group, I reached out to Alicia because I was concerned about the implications Radia was making regarding Adora’s reasons for taking a break. Several people have spoken up about “spying” in the past few days but I only knew about it when I received a ping like several other server members.
In the end, my social circle and friend group has exploded, and the work I’d put into Project STIM with those friends has gone up in smoke.
The whole experience has been depressing and anxiety inducing but despite that I am trying my best to accept my failures, stick to my lane and move on, and now that I’ve said my piece I will continue to do so.
Thanks for reading.