Democracy Dies in Darkness

Carolyn Hax: Parent concerned about 30-year-old daughter’s lax housekeeping

Does the letter writer have unrealistic expectations, or could daughter’s dirty apartment become a health issue?

3 min
(Illustration by Nick Galifianakis/For The Washington Post)
Column by

Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: My daughter is single, early 30s and lives in a lovely apartment. When I visit, I notice her place is not very clean. It’s neat, but not clean: cat hair on bathroom rug, dirt and hair gathering in corners of bathroom floor, greasy counter appliances and stovetop. As a student of Carolyn Hax, I just keep my mouth shut and truly enjoy the company of my wonderful daughter.

What readers are saying

The comments emphasize the importance of maintaining a positive relationship with adult children by avoiding judgmental remarks about their housekeeping. Many suggest focusing on the adult child's positive qualities and offering help only if requested. Some commenters share... Show more
This summary is AI-generated. AI can make mistakes and this summary is not a replacement for reading the comments.
By
Carolyn Hax started her Washington Post advice column in 1997, after five years on the Style desk and none as a therapist. The column includes cartoons by "relationship cartoonist" Nick Galifianakis — Carolyn's ex-husband — and appears in dozens of newspapers.
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