Democracy Dies in Darkness

Carolyn Hax: Expose friend’s affair or mind your own business?

Also, a husband’s extra-secretive family is withholding something about his sister, who might be a nanny for the letter writer’s child.

4 min
(Illustration by Nick Galifianakis/For The Washington Post)
Column by

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared April 1 and Feb. 20, 2011.

Dear Carolyn: A friend revealed to me that she is having an affair with a good friend’s husband. I wish she had not told me, because it puts me in a very awkward position of keeping this secret both from her husband and the wife whose husband she is smugly sleeping with.

What readers are saying

The comments predominantly discuss the dilemma of whether to expose a friend's affair or to remain silent. Many commenters advocate for revealing the affair, emphasizing the importance of honesty and the potential harm of keeping such secrets. They argue that knowing about an... Show more
This summary is AI-generated. AI can make mistakes and this summary is not a replacement for reading the comments.
By
Carolyn Hax started her Washington Post advice column in 1997, after five years on the Style desk and none as a therapist. The column includes cartoons by "relationship cartoonist" Nick Galifianakis — Carolyn's ex-husband — and appears in dozens of newspapers.
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