sorry I'm not mega self hating anymore about my past online presence as a teenager with multiple mental and abuse issues online and IRL. I'm 22 and I'm old enough to view 18-19 year olds as teenagers, so weird people omit that when they come at me. i moved on from that era-

i found out I was plural and fucked off from that website and brand. it was the best decisions I have done with my life. i am old enough to go "I was very unstable and messy and fucked up as a teenager and hurt people" that shouldn't stop me tho cuz people, esp teens, hurt people.

and it's worse when you exist among a leftist adjacent panopticon full of trigger happy people who don't like it when you aren't 100% a good leftist. these standards are worse if you're a minority so people, including Nazis (like actual fucking swastika people) were having a field day.

I'm ok now, still making art and existing, I still fuck up from time to time. people are fucked up and are nuanced and change gradually. sorry I don't view people in black or white, even when it seems like I do.

People really hate when you learn and grow and change as a person. And they especially hate it when you learn and grow and change as a person and there are people who still care about you.

they really do??? it's weird

they punish people who make mistakes with isolation, callouts, withheld support — because in their minds this is how you resolve conflict. The goal is to make you as sad and lonely as they believe you should be, so it makes them angry when you are transparent about mistakes and still loved 🥰