EXCLUSIVEMy daughter was murdered by Bryan Kohberger. I wasn't the best mother. But now I WILL fulfill her dying wish: Mom's transformation before face-off with killer
The long–troubled mother of murdered University of Idaho student Xana Kernodle plans to be in court on July 23 for the sentencing of her killer Bryan Kohberger — and promises the world will see 'an entirely new person.'
Cara Northington, 45, who has struggled with drug addiction for 30 years and cycled in and out of jail both before and after her daughter's death, says she's finally sober - the one thing Xana always wanted for her.
'I wasn't the best mom the last years of Xana's life,' Cara told the Daily Mail on a picnic bench outside a local restaurant. 'But I know all she ever wanted was for me to stop.' Northington said she finally did.
She credits the tragedy of losing Xana—and her two other children, who had long urged her to get clean—for saving her own life.
Her face looks fuller and healthier than it did in mugshots from just a few years ago and she now has long, dark hair - which is no longer greying underneath.
'When Xana died, I hit rock bottom,' she said. 'But I surrendered to the Lord. It was the only way out.'
But Cara was still using when the news broke. She found out about Xana's death while walking through a Spokane casino.
Cara Northington has revealed how daughter's tragic murder led her to turn her life around and fulfill Xana's lifelong wish to see her get sober
'Her dad found me there. He said, "Sit down. I need to tell you something",' she recalled. 'It was horrifying. My first thought was: Who did this? I wanted to kill them.'
'Losing Xana was the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent,' she said. 'But Jesus is my story now. That's how I survived.'
Xana, 20, was brutally murdered on November 13, 2022 alongside three other University of Idaho students, Maddie Mogen, 21, Kaylee Goncalves, 21, and Ethan Chapin, 20, in the case that gripped the nation.
The crime — committed in the dead of night with a knife — left behind grieving families and endless questions.
Kohberger, now 30, a doctoral student in criminology at nearby Washington State University, pleaded guilty to the murders on July 2 in Boise courtroom but did not explain his motive.
He will serve four consecutive life terms without the possibility of parole or appeal, according to the plea deal, which he apparently took to avoid the death penalty.
For Cara, the horror of losing her daughter in such a bloody murder became the catalyst for a radical transformation.
She said she entered a faith–based rehabilitation program led by Pastor Tim Remington of The Altar Church in Coeur d'Alene.
Cara has two surviving children, including older daughter Jazzmin, 25 (far left) and had been estranged from them due to her battle with drugs
Today, the mom is 18 months sober and is proud to be a 'completely different person' after getting clean and turning to a life of faith
Remington, who is also a member of the Idaho House of Representatives, was famously shot six times by a mentally disturbed man with alien conspiracy theories in 2016 but recovered.
For three months, she immersed herself in scripture and counseling at Remington's program.
She says she's now been sober for 18 months and credits her faith with changing her life for the better.
'I don't smoke. I don't drink. I don't use anything,' she said. 'I'm a completely different human being.'
Indeed, it's a striking transformation from the last time she spoke to the Daily Mail - from behind bars at Kootenai County Jail in Couer d'Alene in early 2023, just four months after the murders.
At the time, Cara was in the throes of addiction, locked up on drug charges, and estranged from her two surviving children.
She admitted to relapsing after her daughter's murder but expressed desire to get sober, telling the Daily Mail at the time: 'I just want to get sober for Xana and my other two living kids.'
'Her older sister just lost her best friend and her sister — she doesn't need to lose her mom too. And my son doesn't need to lose his mom either,' she added.
Nearly two years later, she's done just that, and now she's ready to face her daughter's killer in court.
Kohberger's arrest and guilty plea has meant a roller coaster of emotions for Cara.
The families of the four victims are divided over the guilty plea with some seeing it as the end of an ordeal and others angry about not getting their day in court with Kohberger.
Northington was on a church retreat without cell service when news of the plea deal was announced.
'I was confused and a little angry at first,' she said of the plea deal, which allowed Kohberger to avoid the death penalty.
'But then I realized this was God's protection. We don't have to sit through three months of a trial and relive every detail.
'If he were to get the death penalty, we would wait the rest of our lives, possibly before the he was even executed, and appeal upon appeal. It'd be a circus.'
Xana's father, Jeff Kernodle, opposes the plea deal as does Kaylee's father Steve Goncalves.
Xana and her boyfriend Ethan Chapin were among the four victims of the heinous attack
Left to right: Dylan Mortensen, Kaylee Goncalves, Madison Mogen (on Kaylee's shoulders) Ethan Chapin, Xana Kernodle and Bethany Funke
Northington said that she 'can't and won't get into Kohberger's head' and isn't so sure that knowing his motive for the murders would help.
'Honestly I think, on a very large spiritual level, that it doesn't really matter, because it's not normal to do what he did.
'So whatever, even if we knew all the answers would it matter? Would it really make us feel any better?
'We can know all the details that we possibly could ever gather, and it will never be a good enough reason.'
Unlike some of the other victims' families, Cara does not support capital punishment.
'Killing people to show killing is wrong doesn't make sense to me,' she said. 'I'd rather he sit in prison the rest of his life and think about what he's done.'
Cara will travel to Boise for the sentencing hearing, where she plans to deliver a victim impact statement. She thinks a couple of her six older brothers will go with her for support.
A GoFundMe has been set up to help her defray the cost of travel to Boise and other expenses.
Prime suspect Bryan Kohberger finally pleaded guilty to murdering the four University of Idaho students on July 2 and will be sentenced on July 23
'It's going to be nerve–wracking,' she said. ' I think mine will probably be a lot different than parents because of my walk with God. I won't let evil win. I refuse to be bitter or resentful.'
When asked what she would say to Kohberger if she faced him in court, Cara didn't hesitate.
'I'm not afraid of him. I feel sorry for him,' she said. 'What a horrible existence, to do something so evil. He'll have to face what he's done—not just in this life, but the next.'
As she reflected on Xana's memory, tears welled in her eyes.
'She brought joy to everyone around her,' Cara said. 'If you knew her, you would never forget her.'
Northington said that talk to reporters is uncomfortable for her but felt compelled to speak out both about Xana as much as her sobriety.
'Nothing's going to make what happened okay,' she said. 'But good can come from it. If I can overcome addiction in the midst of losing my daughter, anyone can overcome anything.'
