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@prettyhuman@piipitin.fi1000 richest people are approched. "The end of the world is here. Time to go to your doomsday bunker", they are told. The billionaires nodded. They knew this was coming. They were prepared.
So they gathered their loved ones and locked themselves in luxury bunkers. No contact to outside world.
10 years later they emerge. The world has healed. The air is breathable, people are happy. "What was the catastrophy?" they ask the first person they meet.
She screams: "THEY GOT OUT!!!"
Guys, the retoots are getting out of hand. Please calm your tits. 
@prettyhuman aaaah love it!
@prettyhuman
We will not. 
@prettyhuman gotta mute those notifications, I know, it gets nuts 
@prettyhuman You give us hope, poet.
@prettyhuman my tits won't calm themselves, had to retoot
@prettyhuman this is the best fiction I've read in ages.
@prettyhuman
My tits won't be calm unless I retoot 
@prettyhuman I mean, this captures the zeitgeist pretty perfectly 
@prettyhuman My tits are fine like this thank you ! XD
guillotine enthusiast @prettyhuman my tits are wild and will not be tamed.
@prettyhuman We will never surrender out tits when we are blasted with something that amazing!!
@prettyhuman
Wait. The not-so-rich people did not cover the doomsday bunkers with rocks, cement, sand, concrete, reinforced steel barricades, roadblocks, poisons, barbed wires, land mines, leaking radioactive nuclear powerplant waste barrels? Not even motion detectors and automated machine guns and rocket launchers?
I think the planning should have included my input. Muhaha.
@WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman Mars would also be safe, provided the landing craft are one way only.
@martinvermeer @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman if we posit a world where they can't do the ~same things they're doing now remotely, that seems like a world where enough coordination can be also had to agree to ignore them.
@martinvermeer @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman
Forget about Mars, what about "Mars"?
I'm referring to this story: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/51233/51233-h/51233-h.htm where they send people to "Venus".
@TomSwirly @WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman I daresay it would be a better match for their business ethics.
@martinvermeer
A part way only. Should be enough.
@WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman
@WGAvanDijk @prettyhuman
I'm guessing the premise is that for some reason one of the backup exits was missed or insufficiently sealed from the outside.
∀,≡,⊂ @prettyhuman reminds me of a short story from Dino Buzzati:
@prettyhuman
Someone else remarks, "Whoa. Who forgot to pour the concrete in those bunker accesses?"
@prettyhuman Who’s gonna do it
@prettyhuman ...can we do this plan
@prettyhuman this is pure genius.
@prettyhuman
What a beautiful story!
@prettyhuman I wonder if someone could actually do this to them, like if they could actually convince them to go into their bunkers and stay there even though nothing is actually going to happen.
@RyukoRazz yeah... Uhh... that was kinda the plot of this.
I'm glad you at least sorta got it? 
@cibyr Abolishing the State would fix this
@prettyhuman 10 years for healing? 
No, it takes more time to see the demage we did yesterday. 
[nsfw.social] 
@prettyhuman this needs to be a reality not fiction !
@CanadianCrone @prettyhuman this is probably a lot more easier to accomplish than we think.
They all live in little bubbles, tweak a few twitter algorithms here and there, fire some fake news at them, and they'll go and hide.
Benefits of surrounding themselves with yes men, nobody will question their reality
@prettyhuman The most unbelievable part of this is that the world could heal in 10 years.
At best it would take centuries, at worst, it will never be inhabitable again by human life.
@tri_becca90 @prettyhuman well, my thoughts were even more cynical: the second 1000 richest people take over the assets of the first 1000 people and the earth's trajectory towards doom scarcely falters. 
@prettyhuman Go read N K Jemison's Emergency Skin! It's only on Amazon, unfortunately, but it's worth it.
@prettyhuman wonderful !
@prettyhuman "loved ones"?
@prettyhuman Have you ever read NK Jemisin's "Emergency Skin"? You might like it! :)
@prettyhuman The one conspiration I would love to take part in.
@prettyhuman @julianfairfax pure genius, thanks! I’ll be working on a French translation if you don’t mind!
@prettyhuman this is the plot to This Other Eden by Ben Elton
@prettyhuman of course, if we did it right we'd concrete the doors shut as soon as they locked themselves in. 10 metres of decent grade with a little reinforcement should do it.
@prettyhuman billionaires are the catastrophe