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If your sibling is an extrovert, there’s a chance that they are recharged by spending time with others and you are not. This is not weakness on your part, but it is a difference.

Some people have different attention spans and that’s completely ok. Work out what your attention span is and use that information to chunk your tasks. As for the gym, did your sibling start going to the gym before you did? They may have a higher level of fitness? What time of day do you work out? Different people have different optimum workout times.

In essence, comparison is the thief of joy. You need to stop comparing yourself to your sibling and play to your own strengths or you’ll never be happy or productive. My sister can improve her fitness a lot faster than I can, it’s just how she’s built. But I can read books faster and have natural abilities in the kitchen. We are different people. And that’s completely ok.

There’s a book called ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain that you might enjoy reading if you’re an introvert.

Other than that, I don’t know if that’s helpful for you at all, but my energy levels drop significantly when I’m low on iron and/or vitamin d.

After you have more than one child, a profound lesson really hits parents between the eyes:

People are different.

But really though. It’s a huge shock when Kid B is markedly different than Kid A; you don’t realize you expected them to be the same until the second one arrives and is so different. Being a sibling is hard for this same reason; ‘we have the same genes, why am I not like that?’. And then one day you have two children and realize: Oh. Because we are genuinely very different.

Our society is pro-extrovert; having a close sibling who matches that type can cause a lot of emotional pain for the sibling that doesn’t match the current social ideal. As would having an athletic or beautiful sibling. Your sense of self worth has probably taken a hit, and therapy is one lovely way to individuate and claim awareness of who you are, and are not, and be OK with that. I’ll give you a tip: no matter if you go to therapy or just learn it through life, the key is always acceptance. ‘I accept I feel best when I get to curl up alone in the sun reading with a cat part of every day’. ‘I accept three days a week of school is a better fit for me than five’. ‘I accept grocery stores are exhausting for me’.’I accept this is how I am’. ‘I accept that I wish I was like my sibling.’ Sounds shallow, but is the way forward out of misery.

The other thing you would probably learn in therapy is to label your emotion when you look at your sibling: This is jealousy. This is sadness. This is regret. This is fear. Whatever you are feeling, labeling it in your mind is the way to unclench that knot in your stomach.

It’s so great though, to sit in therapy and have one person on earth you can say the awful things out loud about your sibling, your parents, yourself. One place where you can say it, where there are no secrets.

And the commenter about ADHD? Perceptive. Look, I worked in classrooms for seven years, so I know what ADHD and autism look like. And then, I was diagnosed with both myself while supporting my loving, gentle, easily overwhelmed kid who is just like me. Shock of my life! And such a gift. I am nothing like the eight year old boy obsessed with trains who can’t sit still in circle time; turns out I still have a variant brain. At home, my ADHD is to the fore because I’m in my habitat so I am soothed. Out in the world, the autism is the harder piece - lots of stimulation for my ADHD part, yay, check!, but total overwhelm for my autism part that gets me home exhausted and does best curling up in a ball reading to recuperate before I even put the groceries away. I had no idea why life was both stimulating and overwhelming up and down all the time, or that there even was a why, and it would be a gift for YOU to know what kind of brain you have - and not wait until you have a beloved child whose mystery you must solve.

One day, when you have the independance, promise yourself you’ll both go to therapy and see a psychiatrist to find out what kind of brain you have, and get comfortable accepting it.

If ‘why’ is important to your way of being, try researching why evolutionarily speaking ‘introverts’ (or ADHD or autism) exist. There is an advantage to having your brain; I’ll let you enjoy discovering the research on what that advantage is.

May you be well.

For me, it’s ADHD. Sounds similar to what I go though- especially with studying, socializing- anything with intense periods of focus. Look up ADHD burnout and see if that resonates with how you feel. There are lots of resources out there to help.

Most importantly, be gentle and patient with yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy and will probably end up making you more exhausted.

I have autism and I'm an introvert. I have to plan in downtime to be able to cope.

I work 4 days a week. Mon, Tue, Thur, Fri. I really need that Wednesday off.

a human can build tolerance to pretty much anything (no not mercury etc.), and also humans are more resilient than you think.

try doing it 2 days in a row even if you feel exhausted if you can push through it should get easier to do 2 days in a row next time, until eventually you find yourself able to do 5 days a row every week.

case study: at my peak I was able to do flash cards for 1 hour straight uninterrupted every day. I slacked whilst I hit other life milestones that took priority and now I struggle doing 5 minutes a day without checking reddit in between. It will take a while to build up again but I can definitely do it if I want to although it'd be impossible to jump right back into it and not explode after a couple days!

I share your struggle with how the mind can tire. The comparisons we make to others can often exacerbate these feelings, yet our energy is as unique as our fingerprints.

The world would be monotonous if we all moved at the same speed. Embrace your pace, for there is strength in moving like honey.

Tackling mental fatigue could benefit from a new perspective on what productivity means. It can sometimes be a call from within to tend to our inner garden.

Consider focusing less on the volume of tasks accomplished and more on the quality and value of each endeavor. It's the depth of the river, not its length, that fills the jug.

In your studies, try techniques like the Pomodoro method, where you intersperse dedicated study time with short, restful breaks.

Exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate sleep are certainly important, but it's also good to engage in activities that bring you joy and peace.

Creativity, mindfulness, nature – these can be salves to the weary mind.

When was the last time you had your blood work done? Get it done. Low magnesium, iron, B complex all and any of that can cause those problems. Secondly, don’t try to compare yourself with your sibling. Set your own goals and work on them. Thirdly, look up Huberman lab podcast. You might find it helpful. Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself. Just have a long term plan and break it down into short term plans of action and reward yourself every time you achieve something. If you fail, keep a notebook (physical or digital) and write what you learned. All the best!

You might be vitamin B deficient

What food do you eat? Lots of ultra processed carb heavy food will make you sluggish. Are you getting some activity each day? Don't have to be a workout, but something that makes your pulse rise for a while. Are you getting enough sun? Are your vitamin levels normal? Super important! And lastly, do you get enough sleep on a consistent schedule? 8 hours of sleep is the minimum and the body follows a circadian rhythm so go to sleep at the same time everyday. And lastly, just embrace the suck. If you accept the challenge and hardship of life it gets easier to handle. There is not one thing you can do to be more energetic, you have to make changes in all the small habits of your lifestyle. This is my opinion at least, hope you get something out of it!

I think you've gotten some great advice, but coming from the position of the older sibling who had no trouble making good grades, had lots of friends, etc... your sibling may not actually be any happier than you are. She may do all of those things out of a fear of failure or rejection rather than because it makes her happy.

I was like your sister, but inside, I was miserable. I was terrified of letting other people down, of standing up for myself or even setting healthy boundaries. The grass truly looks greener, but it isn't. It wasn't until I had my own kids and became a widow that I learned to reel that back in and start setting boundaries that protected my mental health, and I've learned that, while I have some extrovert skills, I genuinely enjoy being on my own for long stretches. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Focus on the things that bring you joy. Does a quiet drive alone recharge you? Go for it. Would you rather blast music alone in your bedroom while you knit or paint? Do it. Want to practice archery in the backyard or make beaded jewelry? Have at it. Not very physically active but like being outdoors? Plant flowers in pots or go bird watching so you don't have to do strenuous hiking. Your goal is to pursue happiness, not to please a world that seems to value active extroverts and overachievers (especially since there's always someone who will disapprove of what you do, no matter what you are doing).

If it makes you happy to draw on a tablet or play Angry Birds, Candy Crush, Farmville or Merge Dragons for hours while listening to the tv or if you'd rather sit and veg out while listening to music, then that's what you should do. Screw anyone else's expectations. YOU are the only one who has to live with you for your whole life. Make yourself happy. If others don't like that, that's a them problem (unless you're taking advantage of them, of course). People who love you will be happy that you're happy, even if they wouldn't be happy in your shoes (the same way you wouldn't be happy in theirs). Give yourself grace and permission to explore what brings you joy. You deserve that.

check ur vitamins, the quality of ur sleep, possibility of mental illness that is mild, etc etc. have a convo with your doctor, the worst that could happen is they find nothing and ur no worse off than u are now. i used to be like this and now take medication for depression and have worlds more energy.

Sleep apnea, allergies, ADHD, how and where you study, what you eat... so much affects our energy. I hope you find what helps you.

Yeah I think your sibling is just better than you. Lol jk both of my siblings are like your sibling. I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid so I know it's from my brain just working a little different. I have deficits in executive functioning where my siblings do not. I think overall the important thing is to first be kind to yourself. Once you can be kind and forgiving to yourself, assess your strengths and what you'd like to improve. Write down your strengths and your improvements. Then once it's written down, create some possible plans to address your improvements and leverage your strengths. Example of how this looks for me (I'll do a couple strength and improvements to illustrate):

Strengths: I am resourceful I am an out of the box thinker I am determined

Improvements: Time management Planning Mental endurance

Mitigation: Agenda for managing tasks Pomodoro timer to increase mental endurance

"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

It could be related to focus but not adhd, rather you not have trained yourself enough to focus on these things. Attention span is like muscle that needs to keep being built, and the process is usually “painful”. Maybe you can check ideas from books like “flow” and “deep work”