I’ve written about this before, but I sincerely miss the Republicans of olde. They had their virtues (skepticism of centralized authority) and their blind spots (a gullible exemption on the topic of cops and the military). But at least you could map their thinking beyond cultish mantras.

When MAGA sauntered on the scene, it was apparent there was no there beyond: Whatever Trump says (plus hating foreigners & vaccines). Even on subjects where we found nominal agreement, I couldn’t get them to apply their criticism consistently. When they complained about Hunter Biden’s nepotistic Burisma gig, I was right there with them! Even the smell of corruption is noxious! But ask them to apply that same standard to Trump’s entire family enterprise and LOOOOOL

The Delusion Debasement

The most soul-crushing humiliation spectacle was their 2020 election fraud mental acrobatics. There was nothing wrong with investigating plausible allegations of electoral fraud early on as reporting was still ongoing. But we then rocketed from “black Sharpie markers might disqualify certain ballots” to “Italian satellites remotely hacked voting machines.”

I have to stress that this wasn’t just random internet yahoos, but no less than the White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows tried to convince the Department of Justice to investigate the satellites. Picture the psychic torture: you survive law school, claw through DOJ’s competitive gauntlet, then arrive at work to find this in your inbox. How do you recover from discovering your prestigious career has been reduced to babysitting a madman’s fever dreams?

No credible lawyer would touch this lunacy, so naturally only incompetent sycophants stepped up. Enter Sydney Powell (who cited ghosts as sources) and Giuliani’s oil-leaking head paired with the worst venue-booking skills in legal history.

Embarrassing doesn’t capture the abject degradation. Watching a grown man insist he won the beauty pageant was existentially devastating enough. At least with Trump, his ego demanded the delusion.

But millions of Americans parroting his fairy tales? What could they possibly have to gain from incinerating their dignity just to cuck for another guy’s feelings? I watched otherwise intelligent MAGA-ites who could dissect Sudanese civil war minutiae stammer “maybe the Hugo Chavez lady is onto something.”

I was very optimistic there’d be a breaking point — a line where the carnival of delusion would be too much to bear, and they’d finally come to their senses. 2020 was a very rough year for all of us, we had unprecedented pandemic lockdowns and widespread civil unrest, I naively believed they deserved some charity.

January 6th was my optimism high-water mark. The clown show had reached its inevitable logical conclusion: a mob so thoroughly marinated in their own fever dreams about stolen elections that they finally enacted what their delusions rationally demanded — physically stop what they fervently believed was a fraudulent coup. Instead, we got a parade of obese tourists aimlessly waddling around.

The Molon Labe crowd, the We don’t dial 911 warriors, the 1776 will rise again revolutionaries — and they couldn’t even stage a competent insurrection? Deaths that day: two heart attacks, one Adderall overdose, one woman who literally jumped toward a bullet, and the dignity of an entire nation.

Not just sad, but aggressively pathetic low-class humiliation theater.

That was the apex, and it’s only been downhill since. The chorus of universal condemnations grew quiet and retreated. In its wake, soothing mantras took its place, opining that maybe J6 was Antifa, or maybe it was all orchestrated by the Deep State, or maybe (voice swelling) everyone involved was a Patriot who did nothing wrong!

The exit ramp was right there, but they fishtailed right back into the maw. For reasons I will never comprehend, the allure to dive back into the cult was more appealing than living with the fact they may have been duped.

There was no bottom, and the debasement was actively a choice.

Unapologetic Grift

I thought all this was obvious but the delusion theater was just the beginning. Trump is a brilliant salesman exclusively motivated by his own self-interest, and willing to use anyone for his own benefit. Yet I underestimated the genius of building a political movement that catered exclusively to gullible idiots.

Remember how Steve Bannon was convicted of defrauding MAGA patriots dumb enough to donate to his fake “Build The Wall” charity? Yeah, Trump pardoned his ass. Why? Here’s the official announcement:

Prosecutors pursued Mr. Bannon with charges related to fraud stemming from his involvement in a political project. Mr. Bannon has been an important leader in the conservative movement and is known for his political acumen.

In other words, fuck you that’s why! That’s how easy this grift is: you can literally steal money from earnest Trump supporters and MAGA will just shrug and welcome you back into the fold if their leader says so.

Or remember how Fox News paid a record-breaking settlement for trafficking in the delusions their moronic audience demanded? Behind the scenes, Tucker Carlson was ridiculing his own audience for being gullible rubes, and yet he remains in MAGA’s good graces. It’s so easy!

Or consider the Jeffrey Epstein masterpiece: MAGA built an entire mythology around elite child sex trafficking, elevated Epstein as the ultimate villain, then systematically ignored that he was Trump’s longtime friend who Trump knew “liked them young”. When Epstein gets re-arrested and dies in federal custody — during Trump’s presidency, under Trump’s DOJ, supervised by Trump’s Bureau of Prisons — how do these brilliant detectives respond? They blame Hillary Clinton, obviously!

The pattern was unmistakable: these people have been duped and duped and duped, over and over again. Duped so often and so effortlessly. Trump figured out he could cut the sales patter entirely, as his base will gleefully devour whatever shit is plopped in front of them. They’re such very good doogies, yes they are!

The bilking ramped up, starting with peddling NFTs of photoshopped pictures of his face pasted onto muscled bodies for $99 plus tax. By this last election, Trump long passed into DGAF territory and took every opportunity to hawk bibles, sneakers, watches, and whatever other merchandise his licensing team could monetize. By inauguration, he launched a memecoin to get a tsunami of traceless cash dumped right into his own personal wallet, netting an estimated $350 million in the first week alone.

Homeboy is still thirsting for lucre apparently, because now in 2025 we have Trump mobile phone plan (only $47.45/month! Get it?) and Trump cologne (“For Patriots Who Never Back Down, Like President Trump” for only $199!) and who knows whatever the fuck else.

There’s someone out there emptying their wallet on a broken coffee table, amassing enough coins to purchase an official Trump Cologne, skipping over other essentials to get there. The grift is over the top and utterly farcical. I now think back to the hallowed halls of Burisma with tears in my eyes, pining for simpler times where I could tabulate the corruption without the help of a multinational accounting agency.

The more reality-tethered Trump supporters don’t bother denying the rampant corruption anymore — they’ve instead evolved a more sophisticated form of cuckoldry. Yes, he’s robbing us blind, but he’s the flawed strongman our hopelessly broken system needs right now.

It’s the ultimate rationalization: being financially exploited is acceptable as long as it comes with the promise of policy revenge…except the grift extends beyond just fleecing supporters financially and includes hoodwinking them on policy as well.

What results do you have to show for it? Before the election last year, I spoke to someone who beclowned himself into voting for Trump as a way to “safeguard free speech”, a rationale that is beyond laughable now as Trump has demonstrated an unprecedented hostility to any words that jeopardize his emotional fragility. The problem I described before about creating a culture of sycophancy has now put North Korean news anchors to shame.

His bizarre infatuation with tariffs has sent his base into a tailspin. Tax imports are great! Except when he inevitably chickens out, at which point it’s just the Art of the Deal! Except when he promises they’ll be back because tax imports are great! A buffoonish clown parade where the same policy is simultaneously genius for existing and genius for disappearing.

At least they’re deporting foreigners, right? There’s a MAGA demographic that pins their wasted existence on day laborers loitering outside Home Depot, and it’s not like they have the mental faculties to aver from that therapeutic fantasy. Sometimes sadistic spectacle is an end in itself, particularly if it distracts from personal failings.

The Price We All Pay

I miss what America used to be.

I was born across the Atlantic ocean, and stared at its glimmered horizon in awe. When I visited, I was mesmerized at seeing a McDonald’s on every corner, whereas Morocco had 3 in the entire country, and each opening a national news story. I saw your big homes, your fancy appliances, your avalanching influence over popular music, and your perpetual oeuvre of the most spectacular trove of cinema. America showed how good life could be through peace and commerce. As a fan of material comfort, I applaud this move.

I didn’t realize how much I’d miss Pax Americana until I watched it bleed out all over the pavement. This civilizational degradation was completely avoidable — an unforced error with warning signs the size of billboards — and it’s falling apart for the stupidest fucking reasons.

It’s ok to admit mistakes, to acknowledge you were conned and defrauded. It’s ok to concede personal failings, where our slipups were exploited by others. It’s ok to concede fallibility. Error correction is never personal failure, it’s a personal triumph — the highest form in my eyes. It’s the cleansing wudu ritual that nudges you into the right path. You’re doing great. You’re living. You’re thriving. You were wrong, but you realize that now, and I adore you for that.

What remains unforgivable is doubling down on this train of abject humiliation, dragging the rest of us into your self-imposed degradation.

I used to think shame would be our savior, but now I think it’s what will bury us. They’re too ashamed of being conned to admit they were conned — trapped in a cycle where acknowledging the truth feels worse than continuing the lie. So they double down, seeking compensation for personal failings by outsourcing their rage, letting someone else wield their anger while he picks their pockets during the fireworks show.

I used to have enmity for the MAGA movement, but now I just have pity. They’ve chosen to humiliate themselves so thoroughly, so completely, that anger feels almost cruel. Like kicking someone who’s already prostrate in their own filth.

I just wish this movement humiliated themselves on their own time and in their own corner, without dragging us down with them.