At TwitchCon, Shaye mentioned that Thor had a “secret wife”. I confronted Thor about it.
Thor would immediate feign ignorance, claiming that they were “just fooling around and seeing if [they were] compatible”.
He would accuse Lyric as being the aggressor, saying that Lyric was pushing for commitment.
This is in contrast to Thor’s Love Bombing and Thor in “No” Means Yes.
After I tell him that I heard he has a wife, he employs DARVO to disengage from the conversation, shifting the blame onto me and victimizing himself.
Compared to just a few minutes past, after he discovers that I shared our conversations with Shaye, he now feels he can safely re-engage with the conversation now that he can shift the blame by victimizing himself.
Lyric
I need to talk with you about something sometime
Maybe we could sit down and chat soon
Thor
what about?
Lyric
Mmm… The future.
Thor
Whaaaaat about?
[Disregarding boundaries. Thor dictates when and how conversation happens, not allowing Lyric to set the pace.]
Lyric
If like
I’m going to be in your future
pretty much
Honestly, I heard that you’ve got other stuff going on
I wanted to talk about that I guess…
I just wanna know what’s going on. Not like a conviction sort of way but I’m just a bit confused about our situation.
[Giving an out: providing Thor an opportunity to explain the situation of his other relations]
Thor
As far as I knew we were fooling around and seeing if were comptaible. You’ve been pushing a lot for a committment kind of thing but I have a lot of work stuff going on and not a lot of time.
[Denial, gaslighting: “commitment is your idea, not mine”, making Lyric question reality. Shifting blame to Lyric, deflecting attention from Thor’s own actions.]
Lyric
and a wife
apparently
Thor
Is there a ring on my finger? lol
[Mocking, denial, gaslighting: “since I have no ring you must be delusional, overreacting, or misunderstanding”.]
Lyric
There’s not.
I just heard about it.
That’s all
Thor
Neat
[Invalidating Lyric’s feelings, disengagement]
Lyric
I don’t want to jump to conclusions so I
just wanted to talk i guess
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make it weird
Thor
Its a bit weird
[Shifting blame, mirroring, disengagement.]
Lyric
It is…
I guess I just feel like I’m in an awkward place right now.
Thor
Nice, thanks for the giant awkward bomb
[Shifting blame, mirroring, disengagement. He does this twice in a row.]
Lyric
I’m sorry
Thor
Nah dude you’re not. Sending logs to Shaye?
[Deflection of responsibility. Note that Thor has a lot to say about this, but not a lot to say on the above, as shown by his use of mirroring. Thor now feels he can safely re-engage with the conversation now that he can shift the blame.]
Lyric
what.
I don’t know what you want
Thor
Please leave me alone.
[Victimizing himself]
You showed shaye logs of our conversations
And now hes talking to me about them.
Why that would ever be ok is beyond me
[Gaslighting: making Lyric question reality, even if there were valid reasons such as seeking clarity]
Lyric
I have no words for you right now.
If you would have just told me what’s going on
I would have been fine with it
Thor
Don’t really care dude, nothing is even going on.
[Gaslighting: dismissing Lyric’s perception of reality]
Lyric
Look
When I showed shaye I had no idea how deep this ran
Thor
How deep this ran? lol
[Mocking, belittlement]
Definitely not discussing this with you
[Belittlement, dismissal of Lyric’s concerns]
Lyric
I’m sorry
I feel used.
That’s it
And you wouldn’t talk to me about it
Even though you’re self declared super straightforward