Confessions Of A Sucky Artist

Yeah, I had an ugly meltdown on this site. It was not pretty and I deserved a TO for it. But a lot of people took umbrage at the fact that while criticizing another artist’s work, after I used my own art as a counter-example, the go-to line was that my art sucked. People were pissed somebody said that to me. Two people in fact!

Let’s assume that they are right though. I dig my art but I can totally see why other people would not.

But I would not be doing it or making it public if I didn’t think it was worthwhile. I am not a believer that a work of art or entertainment should exist “just because”. If I didn’t think I was doing something special and unique, sucky artwork or not, I would not do it. I got back into Gilda And Meek And The Un-Iverse for the sole reason that I believe it filled in a bunch of holes that popular culture genre and comics were currently lacking. If I were a happy TV viewer, movie watcher, or comic reader, I wouldn’t have bothered. I wouldn't have found it necessary. 

So let’s assume my art sucks. It’s certainly unpolished and unprofessional. No denying it. And yet with it I can tell the story I have always wanted to tell that nobody else was willing to. And by not working with a second, more polished artist (or God forbid A.I.) to make things LOOK better, I can keep things a one-man operation, and do things entirely on my own terms. 

I don’t mind if my artwork is perceived as sucky, because me doing it myself gives me a level of freedom and autonomy I NEED to tell my story. The Un-Iverse is entirely down to one person: Me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Regardless of whether my art sucks (and that’s a valid opinion) what doesn’t suck are either my scripts or my boarding. They feel very cinematic, sucky artwork and all. I am a genre-obsessed nerd and pacing and timing mean EVERYTHING to me. 

Take a look at this action sequence from the issue Gilda And Meek #24 “Timeline Trilogy: Part 3: Now And Forever” 

I can ONLY speak for me, but even if that art sucks, and I think you might be right, the fact that it sucks is the least important part about the sequence. Despite me having a shaky, unsteady hand, despite the panels being crooked, and it being done in unfinished pencils, it strikes me as a damn effective sequence anyways. The boarding and pacing and script make up for it entirely. 

And hell, even if you notice the fact that the artwork sucks, there is something about it that doesn’t: The facial expressions on the characters. They look fantastic to me and are my one artistic gift. I have the rare artistic talent to let a reader know exactly what my character is thinking just based on the drawing of their facial expression. As far as that goes, the saga’s annoying Narrator is almost besides the point. 

The irony? If I was told I would be a shitty artist all throughout my life, but I was granted a genie’s wish to have a strength in ONE particular artistic skill (and no other) being good at facial expressions would be the exact thing I picked. For some amazing random coincidence, the Universe made me good at the one artistic thing I actually care about and think matters. Talk about Universal Design! 

This next action sequence is kinda bloody, but yeah, you can see what I mean about the artwork being sucky not mattering. This sequence is from Gilda And Meek #45 “All Blood Things: Step Five: The Sword Of Wisdom.” 

Cool right? 

Here is some of Gilda’s epic final swordfight with Arch-Villain Mistress Augatha, from that same issue: 

“Wow, Matt, that artwork SUCKS!”

And yet, I suspect as a reader is going through the sequence they won’t have even noticed it. It’s not relevant at this point. 

One last thing about that flame war. People who said my artwork sucked had their comments hidden. Guys, I REALLY wish you hadn’t done that. I appreciate the support, but while I suspect one of those criticisms was merely done to hurt me (which made it bullshit and not something that mattered to me) one of the people there genuinely thought my art sucked. 

And you know what? That’s okay! That honest response did NOT deserve to be hidden. I put myself out there, my artwork is fair game for both positive and negative criticism. I actually stirred enough of a reaction for them to give that opinion! That’s almost flattering on some level. Considering the amount of shit I give genre stuff my own damn self it would be beyond hubris and narcissism to believe that artistic criticisms should not affect me. 

In the same damn thread I am criticizing Brian McFadden’s art, oh yes, my skills are DEFINITELY up for debate. For damn sure. I think the logic was McFadden is a Front Pager who doesn’t interact with the community, and I’m relatively liked member of the site who does. 

But see, personal popularity and affection for the artist should have no part in artistic critical consensus. The idea actually offends me. You know if somebody actually told Todd MacFarlane this and to stop mugging for the camera maybe the comics industry would not in such dire straits. Art must be judged by its own merits. Not on the eccentricities of the individual artists. I know that also is a big part of modern art, but I don’t dig modern art either. 

My rule of thumb when listening to and considering criticism of my work: If you say my artwork is terrible, I am completely abusing the format of the comic book, I am the single worst person who ever lived because of it, and that you wished I had a heart attack and died, I’ll be like, “That’s fair.” You complain about my “Woke Agenda” and my comic being “Liberal propaganda” though, I’mma tune you out. 

If you want to visit my totally free site here's the link: 

gildaandmeekandtheuniverse.blogspot.com/…

There are no ads. There are currently 67 comic book issues on the site and over 3000 pages. You should lower your eyebrows in suspicion at that. Red Flag! “What, all this material is FREE, with no ads? What do YOU get out of it?” 

I’m autistic and my comic is how I express myself and relate to the world. I may be nothing more than a hobbyist to most folks, but if somebody understands me even a LITTLE bit better after each issue read, that’s all the payment I need (although I never turn down bought coffees). 

This is all about making connections for me. Even if you think the art sucks. Bad connections are still connections.

Update: 

Thank you for the support, guys. It means a lot to me. 

If you could rec the diary, that would be great. I don’t do a TON of diaries about my art and I could use the exposure.

Here is the rest of The Love Series. I unpublished the diary because it was a bad time of day for it and the recent diary list was too crowded. I figure if I take the extra step of unpublishing it to a more manageable time on the site, I need to make the update worth it, and not just push off important diaries for a second bite at the apple. The Love Series is one of the things on my site I am proudest of. Here it is in its entirety, in order: