Heptagoat

if you had just over 6 straight years (taking a one-day break on leap years), you could grind that with item cross conversion

That is a very particular method of grinding you chose for this, why that?

Whoever did this, I admire their commitment. And insanity.

who did this, you ask? it was nitebrite, back in the oldest of days. the legend goes, they were the bearer of the very first cider, bestowed upon them through a charity auction. real cash beyond price was the price.

in those days, the heptagoat was nothing but a rumour, but nitebrite had a hunch. they pooled all their funds, liquidated all but one of their assets, and barely scraped together 7 overgoats. it was not enough. as we know now, it never would have been enough.

they did, however, have one final option. it turns out that cider can be sold at the bazaar. if they did that, they could afford 7 more overgoats: 7 ubergoats. and with this, the first heptagoat was born.

of course, with modern EPA, the heptagoat is a substantially more achievable vanity, and nobody these days would pay hundred-dollar-bills for cider. but it was a good story

Found their profile. They've got a bunch of exclusive stuff like backstage destiny

I wouldn't really call Backstage exclusive, considering a Nemesis player can get it without spending a cent, but Nitebrite is a truly eminent presence. One of the greatest celebrities of Fallen London.

Pretty sure she's North now. I intend to join her.

Backstage is neither exclusive nor free, being a Fate-locked Destiny.

It isn't free, but Nemesis players get some extra Fate for their trouble, which, combined with the other free Fate the game gives you, is enough for a Fate-locked Destiny such as Backstage or The Road, hence my stipulation about Nemesis players.

Legend has it that long before profession rewards, the truth breaker turbine, or university labs existed back when the only way to farm searing enigmas was at Zee, they say Nitebrite (thats a me) amassed a horde of enigmas, intent on robbing the seekers of K&C. But this did not come to pass, for she drank away her maxed out stats- just to finally get around the old level 40 content lock out for finder of heiresses. Only then did she find out you needed 70+ stats to do K&C stabs. Instead she used her unique collection to make the very first Impossible Theorem. They say she was the second cider, but technically it was the third.

They say she raised the first noman to survive to FoTER. That she was Scorched by the Sun, one of three to do so back in the days of old SMEN when it actually deleted your account. That she had a Rubbery Conspirator. That she organized such wildly efficient Hallowmas parties the entire holiday had to be rewritten. That she sent out 8 Destins candles one Hallowmas, raising her stats to 77 and halving them over and over again in just one month. They say that she defeated original SMEN with this one weird trick. That she was the first to betray a rubbery spouse to the well. That she lit a reverse tapper. That she fed her seeking candles to a rat of glory. That she inspired others to do the quad fail. That she burned 7 copies of every lodging before going North.

Lady Nitebrite, an unremarkable lady, with 343 dangerous (seven into seven into seven). A level cap that was set in her honor. A base stat cap that didnt exist until she stopped repeating flint, and yolo'd a bottle of oblivion to get it to an even base number. Dual wielding waxwails. Living in her one card lodgings with the first heptagoat paid for with the first impossible theorem and the first cider to be sold. I imagine that to this day, very few ciders have ever been sold lol. But if you're wondering there, the cider has no special sales text ;)

Edit: How could I forget that time I actually defeated Mr Iron in K&C combat LMAO that was the best. I did a lot of other cool stuff but this is long enough haha

holy shit the lady the myth the legend, it's truly an honour, welcome back

i am honoured to be graced by your presence

This tardy, tardy goatherd has made a long journey lubricated at the very end with Bazaar tears. Tomorrow, all that's left to do will be collecting my Hearts' Game winnings, devouring fungal crackers for goat-encounters and making a trip to the Iron Republic.

As arduous as this journey has been, I can't even imagine how tough it was without Hearts' Game.

somebody*

fucj