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A Sensational Wordle Clone Without Any Actual Words

As the name implies, Subwaydle is based on the New York City subway system

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A commuter holds a cell phone on the platform for the 50th St. station on the 1 line in the NYCT subway.
Photo: Gary Hershorn (Getty Images)

Wordle took an express ride from a breezy daily distraction to a seven-figure payday for its creator. No wonder everyone is copying it. But many—and there are so many—of its variants are similar exercises in wordplay. Far rarer is the Wordle clone that doesn’t feature any words at all.

Enter Subwaydle, a Wordle-inspired browser game based on the maddeningly byzantine New York City subway system. It’s the brainchild of Sunny Ng, a software engineer who’s previously created other transit-themed projects, including a real-time map of the subway replete with indicators about every line’s current quality of service. (The most common one these days? “Not good.”) Subwaydle isn’t the first non-word Wordle variant, but it has quickly garnered a lot of buzz, particularly among a certain subset of extremely plugged-in transit fans. It even received a nod from the popular transit blog Second Ave. Sagas.

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“I came across a few fun Wordle variants last week, like Chengyu Wordle, which by the way made me realize how bad I am in regurgitating Chinese idioms, and Nerdle, a variant that requires you to come up with math equations, and I wanted to make something transit-related,” Ng told Kotaku.

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Subwaydle is in part inspired by the trivia nights, held before the covid-19 pandemic ruined everything, at the New York City Transit Museum. Most nights would conclude with participants conjuring a hypothetical train ride through the city, taking turns rattling off the next station the train would hit. When the train hit interchange stations, players would have the option to hop onto a different train from a connecting line.

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“It was so much fun and it’s probably one of the things I miss the most from before the pandemic,” Ng said.

Subwaydle came together faster than an A train ride from Columbus Circle to 125th St. Ng told Kotaku he started the project on Friday evening. It was live by Sunday.

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Subwaydle shares a lot of its ruleset with Wordle. Every day, there’s a specific route connecting two of the subway’s 472 stations. Using two transfers, you have to design a three-train ride that would get you from one to the next. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the most efficient route, but it does have to physically work within the confines of the subway system—no out-of-station transfers or bus connections or anything like that. Lines that aren’t part of the route are reflected in gray, so you can rule those out. Lines that show up as yellow are part of the route but in the wrong spot, so you know they’re part of the solution. Those that show up as green are both part of the route and in the correct place. You get six tries.

A Kotaku writer loses woefully on a round of Subwaydle, a non-word Wordle clone.
Screenshot: Sunny Ng / Kotaku
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During the week, Subwaydle can feature one of 6,835 possible combinations, Ng said. On weekends, there are 4,188 combos, because Subwaydle makes use of the city’s uniquely fucked up weekend scheduling. (Yes, the NYC subway switches up its service on weekends. It’s not always predictable, and is certainly not the sort of service you’d regularly see in other supposedly world-class subway systems.) Flying blind is tough, so Subwaydle features a hint button that’ll tell you where to start and where to end without actually giving away any of the lines involved in the day’s route. Still, pinpointing a solution can be bracingly difficult.

Take today’s challenge. After clocking three gray squares right out of the gate, I—a proud NUMTOT—caved and opened the hint. I learned that I’d need to create a route from Borough Hall, in downtown Brooklyn, to Grand Central–42nd St., in midtown Manhattan. Okay, so…I could start with the 2, 3, 4, or 5 trains. My second guess ruled out the 3 and the 5 trains, and my third guess correctly placed the 4 trains and the 42nd St. shuttle as the first and third rides, so all I’d need to do is figure out a transfer between those. Easy, right?

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I failed three times in a row. The correct solution? 4 to the A to the shuttle. (In life and in Subwaydle, I constantly forget about the underground walking transfer between Port Authority and Times Square–42nd St.!)

Even Ng, who admittedly doesn’t use the hint system, is sometimes stumped. “I have done these every day, and I haven’t even been able to get the puzzles of the last 2 days,” he said

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Ng recognizes the geographical limit of Subwaydle, that it may only appeal to those who live in the New York City metropolitan area, currently home to 20.1 million citizens, according to the latest census data. But he’s received a wave of positive feedback from folks who don’t live in the region: tourists, global transit fans, and, of course, those of the “why I left New York” set.

“It reminded them of New York,” he said.

 

<i>A Minecraft Movie </i>Review: A Bad Movie Made Worse By Jack Black

A Minecraft Movie Review: A Bad Movie Made Worse By Jack Black

A boring, bad, and annoying experience that maybe your kids will enjoy

About an hour and a half into WB’s new Minecraft movie, in theaters now, I realized that I was really bored. The movie was happening in front of me on a big screen. I could see Jack Black and others dancing about in CG worlds, but the moment it left the screen and entered my eyeballs, it slipped back out of my brain. I had to force myself to absorb and comprehend what was happening. Luckily for me, not much actually happens in this bad movie.

A Minecraft Movie is a (sort of) live-action adaptation of Minecraft. But how do you adapt a video game with no real story or characters into a 100-minute movie? The answer is to lazily make Minecraft another world that real human beings travel to and then eventually leave. Truly, the hallmark of any bad video game movie is when it can be summed up with “Yeah, it’s like that 1980s Mario Bros. movie with Dennis Hopper.”

But hey, I can stomach a lazy setup if the rest of the movie wins me over. And early on, things were looking good. The first 20 minutes or so of this movie contain some genuinely great jokes that made me and the rest of the theater laugh. We get to meet some of the characters, like the young, awkward Henry and his older sister, Natalie, who has become his mother-figure after their real mom died. The two of them end up in a small town in Idaho because it was their mom’s dying wish. Thanks, mom! As this happens, we are introduced to Jason Momoa’s washed-up video game pro who owns a game store and is a huge loser.

Also, Danielle Brooks is there as Dawn, a character who spends most of the movie doing nothing, saying little, and being wasted. After a fun introduction to the characters, including Jenifer Coolidge’s surprisingly horny and very funny side character Marlene, our four main heroes are zapped into the world of Minecraft and the movie collapses because Jack Black’s Steve becomes a part of the story.

WB / Mojang

Can one actor save a movie? Maybe. Can one actor ruin a movie? Yes. And that’s what Jack Black does in A Minecraft Movie. I’m not sure what the hell Jack Black is doing in this movie. I don’t mean why he was cast—he’s a funny, popular dude with a solid track record—but I mean, what is the idea behind his performance in A Minecraft Movie? In fairness to Black, Steve is a nothing character in the game, just the name of its default skin. So he and the writers and director had to basically create Steve’s personality from the ground up. Yet, what they all decided to do was make Steve one of the most annoying characters ever to appear in a movie.

Jack Black is dialed up to 12 at all times in this film. Every moment Black is on the screen, he is screaming, yelling, dancing, doing weird voices, or using slang. Sometimes, he’s doing all of that at once. It doesn’t work, and within 20 minutes or so of him being a part of the movie, the kids in my theater stopped laughing at his behavior. His performance in A Minecraft Movie is like someone doing an impersonation of Jack Black based entirely on a YouTube compilation of his “Wackiest Moments.” It’s not only annoying and tiring; it’s also not funny. It also makes it hard to connect with Steve, who is one of the main characters in this movie and one of the few with an actual character arc.

I almost left the movie early when, at one point, Jack Black, readying his newfound friends for battle, says: “We need to mine. We need to craft. We need to Minecraft.” Fuck off. I’ve only got so many hours in my life, and I don’t need them wasted.

As for what actually happens in A Minecraft Movie, it’s got the most basic plot involving an evil person with no personality or interesting quirks who wants to destroy everything. But to do that, they need a shiny MacGuffin, and guess what? Our intrepid heroes need that same MacGuffin to get back home. Solving this conflict involves an hour of running and walking around CG worlds that look like Minecraft if you installed an ugly, realistic texture pack. Occasionally fights happen or conversations between characters occur, but the movie doesn’t linger on any one part long enough for you to care or develop any attachment to anything.

Technically, the CG in this movie is impressive. Real characters are perfectly integrated into the digital world. And when a Minecraft character leaves the video game world and enters the real world, he is seamlessly incorporated into the live-action sets. Good stuff. Too bad all the designs are hideous and don’t match up with the actual sound effects ripped from the game, which feel like the filmmakers attempting to remind you that, yes, this is still Minecraft. Promise.

Image for article titled A Minecraft Movie Review: A Bad Movie Made Worse By Jack Black
Screenshot: WB

The best part of this movie is a subplot involving Coolidge’s vice principal character, who is newly divorced and falls in love with one of the Minecraft villagers who leaves his world and enters our own. Every single time the movie cut away to show us more of that story, I was disappointed that I wasn’t watching a movie about them instead. It’s also heavily implied that she fucks the villager. Enjoy the movie, kids! (And enjoy that amazing voice cameo at the end. Seriously, I was stunned. Won’t spoil it here. But’s it perfect.)

Now, I know some will say I’m being too harsh. This is a movie for kids, after all. So what? I’ve seen plenty of good kids movies. The Lego Batman Movie is one of the best DC movies ever made. It’s really funny, has strong character moments, a good plot, and doesn’t lazily dump Lego characters into the real world.

A Minecraft Movie just isn’t very good. Will kids like it? Sure, but generally kids also aren’t the most discerning audience, either, and that’s fine. I’m not saying kids can’t enjoy this movie. I’m just saying it’s a bad movie if you are an adult looking for something funny that doesn’t contain the worst Jack Black performance ever committed to celluloid. I’d recommend people go watch School of Rock and play Minecraft with some buddies instead of watching this crap.

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