Allison P. | Red Phoenix international correspondent–
The increasing upwelling of fascist momentum has led to an influx of calls to launch such people into the sun. This is a particularly difficult and energy-intensive task not yet achieved by man, beast, nor machine, and in order to do so the new proletarian state will have to be quite clever.
The closest man has come to dropping something into the sun is the Parker Solar Probe which has passed as low as 9.86 solar radii (geostationary satellites orbit at roughly 5 terran radii). In order to achieve this, the mission required numerous gravity assists, launched on the most powerful rocket at the time, the Delta IV heavy*, and could only deliver around 50 kg (110 lbs) of payload, a weight of only the most scrawny fascists.
* Falcon Heavy did launch earlier that year but was not yet commercially available and has lower payload capacity to high C3 targets
It is likely that if you have commented “throw [someone] into the sun” before, people have quipped that it would be more efficient to cast them from the solar system entirely. Strictly speaking this is true, at least on standard orbits. Using the Vis-Viva equation with Terra at roughly 150 gigameters from Sol, the orbital velocity is roughly 29.7 km/s. Using a standard Hohmann Transfer with Terra at Aposol and Sol’s surface as Perisol in order to achieve contact requires a velocity at infinity relative to the Terran gravity well of roughly 25.5 km/s or a characteristic energy of 650 km²/s². For perspective, Mars transfers generally require 16 km²/s².
This requires in total from a 400 km starting orbit around Terra, roughly 24 km/s delta V to achieve. By comparison, getting to low earth orbit itself requires roughly 10 km/s (separate from the 24 km/s). However, one advantage of this strategy is that cleansing by starlight would occur in roughly 11.2 million seconds (18.5 weeks).
An efficient worker would minimize the labor they must carry out and one such possibility is via the bielliptic transfer. Rather than dropping the fascist into the sun directly they are instead first sent to the frozen wastes of the Sol system, far from her warming light. At its furthest point a small burn is performed, followed by generations of darkness as they plunge towards incineration.
As the fascist will be dropped into the sun there is no need to circularize at the low orbit. And while they are shot into higher orbits before descending towards starlight the total energy requirements steadily decrease, leveling off around 11 km/s as shown in Figure 2. However, increasing values of apoapsis produce exceedingly long transfer times, starting at 400 years for 10,000 million km and exceeding existence of the whole of human civilization at 100,000 million km.
These represent the two classic transfers, however the celestial spheres are allies to the proletariat in their efforts and are willing to redistribute part of their momentum to our task. Although Mars and Venus are willing to assist us, Jupiter carries the most momentum. While Jupiter unfortunately cannot slow the fascists down to allow them to descend into starlight, he can accelerate the craft. If the initial Aposol is set to target Jupiter’s orbit this would require a C3 of 77 km²/s² and a delta V from LEO of 7.4 km/s. The craft will enter Jovian space and cross below 422 thousand kilometers bringing it near the moon Io, the closest thing our stellar system has to Hell. Our Jovian ally will then redirect the craft, turning it by 155 degrees, accelerating it back into Sol space but now traveling to 18.4 km/s instead of 7.4 km/s (relative to a Sol fixed system), sufficient from Jovian orbit to forsake the craft to the far reaches of the solar system before it completes its descent burn. Though our proletarian ally Jupiter cannot help us reduce the potentially centuries-long travel time of this task, he can reduce the energy requirements to drop fascists into the sun to around 8 km/s, an energy reduction by orders of magnitude.
Perhaps when the Q come to judge us in the 24th century they will no doubt criticize our barbarity, but doubtless they would have to be a bit impressed by the style. The only vehicle currently capable to complete this mission on a conventional chemical trajectory is the Space Launch System, which is currently under threat from Trump, Musk, and his cronies — and, in retrospect, it is clear why. Of course should no launch vehicle be available capable to do this task, one could always look to Teller’s Artificial Star as an alternative to cleanse the fascists by starlight.
I spent close to six hours on this math please help me – Allison
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