I am opening up about my full life story now. This may also provide clarity on why I am extremely upset with Japan.
I first wanted to prove myself and gain international recognition purely for my technical skills. I didn’t want the tragedy to define my identity. I didn’t want to be a victim.
When I was young, my single father’s life savings were stolen by a pig-butchering scammer—who turned out to be my childhood friend’s mother.
I had to drop out of school and nearly sold my soul to cybercrime to support my father and pay for my dying dog’s medical bills.
No one was there to help me. Companies in Japan wouldn’t hire me because I had dropped out.
When my soul could no longer bear the pain, I attempted to end my life. Miraculously, I survived—but I was bedridden for a year, suffering from frequent seizures.
The physical and emotional pain from my failed attempt was unbearable.
Even after everything I went through, I forced myself to heal over the next few years.
I never expressed my pain all these years. Instead, I chose to smile and be kind—because I knew how unkind the world could be.
Once I healed, I dedicated myself to teaching cybercrime research, malware analysis, English, and other valuable skills to people in Japan for free—including those at JSAC and JPCERT. I did this because I wished someone had been there for me when my family was scammed. I also wanted to make education more accessible, as I had been forced to drop out.
But when I stood up against harassment toward other women, I was fired, banned, and ostracized from the Japanese security community—including the very people I had dedicated my life to helping.
This was devastating because, at the time, the Japanese security community was my whole world. They knew it meant everything to me, yet they still did this. I seriously considered taking my life, but this time, I chose not to: “If I give up here, they win.”
I had nothing to lose, so I went international—creating Malware Village, Malmons, speaking at Virus Bulletin, DEF CON, Security BSides London, keynoting worldwide, and more.
Then, when I finally expressed the pain I had hidden for years, people in Japan became upset with me for sharing my bottled-up emotions on social media. Some even threatened to withdraw support not just from me but also from my friends if I continued to “disparage the Japanese security community.”
I don’t get enough credit for still choosing the light—fighting against cybercrime and saving lives—despite everything.
Malmons is proof that I refuse to let the evil in this world take away my purity.
I just wish I had met all these wonderful souls at international cons earlier—before my soul finally shattered after what happened in Japan.
I’m 25 now, but I’m still choosing to bring light into this dark world.
Because if I give up here, they win.
The best revenge is to shine bright.
Don’t let anyone take your light away.