Quit Porn and Get Rich The Unspoken Rule of Successful People (Martin Prescott)

QUIT PORN AND GET RICH:

THE UNSPOKEN RULE OFSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

Martin Prescott

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Copyright © 2018 Martin PrescottAll rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be copied, transmitted, or broadcast in any form in mass mediawithout the author’s express consent. The information in this book is not a substitute for professionalmedical advice, and it is not intended for medical diagnosis or treatment. In case of health problemsand before starting/ending treatment, consult a specialist. Neither the author nor the publisher takeany responsibility for any effects resulting from following the content and advice contained in thisbook, nor for the general mood that readers may experience after reading this publication. The authorsupports his thesis by referring to research and opinions which have been cited for educationalpurposes only. Each publication referenced should be read in its entirety and interpreted separately,outside the context of this publication. The author’s opinions cannot be treated as scientificallysupported claims. The author does not guarantee the reader wealth or improvement in his/her life inany sense of the word. The events of the main character’s life have been adapted to fit the story. Thenames of the characters have been changed, and any resemblance to real life persons or situations isaccidental.

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CONTENTS

DedicationForeword1. Introduction2. System basics2.1. The most common problems2.2. How it works2.3. Supernormal stimuli2.4. Chemicals and hormones2.5. Where do we begin3. What has been seen cannot be unseen3.1. Remembering3.2. Research on brain performance3.3. Physical changes in the brain3.4. The brain in action4. What is on our minds?4.1. Precious novelty

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4.2. Ideas produce value4.3. Money doesn’t grow on trees (first unsuccessful businesses)4.4. More information means more opportunities4.5. The first successful business5. I’m the captain now5.1. Intangible assets5.2. Research on self-control5.3. Development of self-control5.4. Weakness as an advantage5.5. Quitting porn6. Fight for your right… or negotiate6.1. The importance of attitude6.2. Self-control in negotiations6.3. The future is negotiable7. Getting accustomed to risk7.1. The bright side of uncertainty7.2. Research on risk-taking7.3. A step into the unknown8. Patience is a virtue8.1. Nothing happens by chance

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8.2. Research on patience8.3. The fruits of my labor9. Real people9.1. Building relationships9.2. Jumping in at the deep end10. Experience of society10.1. Older teachings10.2. Sport10.3. The pornography industry11. Do your bestAfterwordResources

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book in memory of all the great ideas and opportunitieswasted as a result of watching porn.

FOREWORD

We all want to get rich. Every day, we pass jaw-dropping, luxurious carsin the street. We keep up with the latest technological innovations and wedesire every new gadget that appears on the market. We imagine travelingto the four corners of the earth. We watch professional athletes and we wantthe same lifestyle they enjoy. We admire the mighty of this world andwonder what secret they know that allowed them to get where they are.Then we each return to our homes and ritually devote ourselves towatching porn on the Internet, forgetting about our dreams. Visiting pornsites and masturbating after school—or in the morning, when classes start alittle later—become routine for us. In the very beginning, with freshexcitement, we shared the best links and commented on newly discoveredactresses. Later, it became as interesting as brushing your teeth: it became adaily habit which went on for years.None of us even suspected that we had a chance to make our dreamscome true and to someday get where we once wished so badly to be. Thatvision had become so distant that we didn’t even think about making aneffort to realize it. I wonder how our lives would have turned out if we hadknown that the enthusiasm for fulfilling our dreams would be eroded withevery porno movie we watched.

1. INTRODUCTION

Life is short, don’t waste it watching someone else’s.

I am almost thirty years old. I am an investment banker (mergers andacquisitions) and a businessman. Every day, I deal with transactions formillions of dollars and I meet with serious entrepreneurs and investors. Myresponsibilities include selecting opportunities on the capital market,persuading very influential people to take advantage of these opportunities,and then collecting commission from the transactions. After hours, I investin capital markets, develop my own start-up and help people execute theirideas. I often take on very large responsibilities and major risks. Mostimportantly, I love new ventures, traveling, and—above all—I love life,people, and myself.However, a few years ago, before I discovered certain mechanisms andrules governing my body, I doubted that I would ever be happy and satisfiedwith my life. I was a lonely, shy grouch who didn’t see the point of living.Under the mask of a happy-go-lucky guy and a hedonist, there was a lostlittle boy, constantly plagued by insecurities about his appearance,background, and material status. I did not have a job, any useful knowledge,or prospects. I squandered most of my time on simple entertainment,including pornography. In fact, pornography became the only pleasure Icould find in life. When I turned off the videos with naked ladies, the worldwould become gray again. At some point, I wanted something more than just naked women on my computer screen and failure in almost everyaspect of my life. I started to look for the causes of my defeat and I finallyrealized how grave my weaknesses were. Because I was able to name themand to overcome them, I gained the energy and the ability to deal with manyof life’s problems.

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Many situations we face require a particular predisposition and specificbehavior. We often can’t behave properly, not only because of a lack ofawareness, but also because of hindrances posed by our bodies. It is veryinteresting how much depends on the well-being and physical fitness ofyour body. Unfortunately, many people don’t know much about theprocesses that drive it. I will do my best to make sure that thanks to thisbook you will learn about important issues related to your physical well-being and how to use them in practice.Each human body is slightly different and feels differently, more or lessintensely. The sensitivity to stimuli, active hormones, or psychoactivesubstances varies, but general laws and dependencies are shared and usuallyoccur to the same degree. Nature created the healthily and properlyfunctioning body of a man in a similar way. The human body strives tosurvive, procreate, and protect itself and its loved ones. These are the basichuman needs that Abraham Maslow clearly defined in his pyramid ofneeds. However, eroticization, pornography, and masturbation cansignificantly disrupt this hierarchy or slow down the progression to higherlevels, i.e., to a feeling of belonging, respect, fulfillment and realizing one’spotential.

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Naturally, success will not equate to achieving wealth for everyone. Itcan also mean living a happy, satisfying life, starting a family, or makingachievements in a scientific, athletic, or professional career. Succumbing tosexual stimuli too often can lead us away from all these things. I describethe traits necessary to achieve success, which may be impaired by a habit ofusing pornography. In general, what I have in mind is how the drive forsuccess works in effective and influential people and how it can beinadvertently reduced.We have different predispositions, ambitions, and goals. Striving forperfection and achieving above-average results is not an obligation. We donot have to prove to ourselves and others what we are capable of. But whatif we do not really know what we are capable of? What if we have nottrusted our own skills so far? What if our natural abilities can allow us toattain much more, but we subconsciously suppress them? What if

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supernormal stimuli lead to helplessness, distraction, bitterness, laziness,and a lack of motivation? What if an excess of sexual stimulation causes alack of self-confidence, fear, shyness, and a weak will? What if all this ishindering you from achieving success? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believethat turning off porn is a recipe for success. I know people who have neverwatched porn but are unhappy with how their lives are going. However, youcan be sure that excessive eroticization only seems like a trivial obstacle onthe way to a happy life. Your life can be rich in experience, rich inprofessional successes, rich in kindness to others, rich in family happiness,and materially rich as well. Or you can spend it in front of the computer,watching strangers copulating.I encourage you to forgive yourself because your willpower is likely tooweak to deal with such strong tension. This book is not meant to intensifythe guilt that may arise after masturbation. Reading it will help you to betterunderstand the big picture, and to get to know yourself and your bodybetter. I also encourage you to explore the issues raised here on your ownafter reading the book and to enlighten others. I want people to be aware ofwhat excessive sexual stimulation does to the male body and what animpediment it is to achieving fulfillment in life. Unfortunately, these days,the pornography industry can imitate sexual relations more and morerealistically and make a more and more addictive product with higher-quality movies, point-of-view (POV) camerawork, and virtual reality. Forpeople using pornography, it is becoming increasingly difficult to resistthese strong stimuli. You may be thinking that I’m exaggerating and thatpornography isn’t a problem, that it is just as normal as sex with a partner. Iwill explain why I have a different opinion on this subject and how muchmay depend on the inclination towards artificial sexual stimuli.I discuss the problem of pornography mainly from the perspective of aheterosexual man, but all of the knowledge presented in this book isaddressed to everyone, including women, who—according to statistics—area growing group of Internet porn enthusiasts. It’s worth raising awarenessof this problem, regardless of gender, age, or sexual orientation. The bookparticularly applies to men going through puberty, entering adulthood,starting a career, settling down, and especially for those who aspire tosuccess and contentment in life. The book was conceived in the name of

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social responsibility for the damage and alternative costs [1] which maycome about and result from a tendency towards visiting pornographic sites.I feel obliged to prevent the unpleasant consequences of this problem and togive others the chance to make use of this knowledge as I did.This is not yet another motivational book, which the shelves are linedwith, providing nothing but a temporary boost to your mood. This bookdescribes the real impact of eroticism, pornography, and masturbation onyour performance in everyday life. It also explains how overcoming thesepropensities can vastly increase the chances of success in many areas. Yourlife without unnecessary eroticization can be active and focused. Do youknow how successful people approach this problem? How pornography canprevent them from achieving their goals? How they find motivation andwhether pornography can destroy it?You won’t find self-righteous moralizing in this book, I assure you.When I was a teenager, many people guilt-tripped me into avoidingsexuality and relations with the opposite sex. It did more harm than good.Conservative views on life seemed detached from reality, and sexual stimuliseemed less and less intimate and ubiquitous. I did not get the chance tolearn credible arguments that would have dissuaded me from watchingpornography. The conservative approach toward pornography turned out tobe accurate, but this is only being proven today. When I was young, no onetold me that an excess of sexual stimuli could lead to such consequences asphysical changes in the brain, sexual dysfunction, depression, chroniclaziness, social anxiety, and—in extreme cases—disorders of thereproductive system. These are ailments which are easily diagnosed andwhich people should be particularly warned against. I want to draw yourattention, however, to an area which is much more difficult to pinpoint, onewhich determines your success in life.Reading this book will help you to comprehend the problem and to dealwith it. Furthermore, it will help you to transform the tendency towardsunnatural sexual stimuli into action and to achieve ambitious goals. Whilewriting it, my intention was to help you, just as I once helped myself. Iassure you that I have depicted everything with appropriate care and Ihaven’t idealized anything. I am just an ordinary person who, until recently,

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hadn’t realized the seriousness of this problem. You will recognize this inthe everyday situations I describe, some of which will certainly seemfamiliar to you. Thanks to these experiences and to the discovery of theknowledge I wish to share with you, I have become a stable person and Iam active in many areas. Since the publication of this book, I have alsobeen subjected to pressure from the groups against whose interests it isaddressed. Regrettably, while the porn industry earns so little from each ofus [2] , we have so much to lose—our lives.In general, facts about the problem of pornography and guidelines onhow to overcome an addiction to it are widely discussed and available onthe Internet for free. I urge you to search for them. I discuss the problem ofpornography in relation to business first of all and I extend the subject tomany aspects which are vital to business and investing. I believe that theinformation presented here will aid you in being successful in life and ingetting rich.I had wondered for a long time what type of book this should be. Idecided that the best and most objective approach would be to first refer theproblem of pornography to everyday life and business, then to describeeach issue from a scientific point of view (illustrating them with appropriateresearch), and finally to recount my own story, which paved the way todiscovering this knowledge.In my youth, I was always inquisitive—maybe even overly inquisitive.It was very rare for me not to look for answers to the questions that werebothering me. In time, I learned to access information on my own. This wasalso true in the case of health problems. In this book, I describe the harmsand illnesses that may accompany watching pornography and masturbatingtoo often. The majority of them will resolve after some time spent withoutthese stimuli. If you suspect you’re suffering from a more serious condition,consult a specialist. Don’t be afraid to tell him or her about your habits. Isometimes suspected that I had various illnesses and I looked for answersby myself, which led to incorrect diagnoses and dejection over mysupposed bad health. I even came close to treating diseases that I didn’thave. I suspected bladder and prostate problems, and even cancer, amongother things. All of these suspicions proved to be unjustified, something I

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learned only after doing expensive tests. Information about every potentialdisease is almost infinitely accessible, which is disastrous for the layman.However, things were different when it came to pornography. Most ofthe popular sources available at the time simply trivialized the problem,turned it into a joke, or even regarded masturbation as good for one’shealth. I found such information in textbooks for adolescent boys, sexeducation classes at school, and “progressive” doctors. Unfortunately, theyoung mind quickly concludes from such information that pornography isharmless. I do share the opinion that occasional masturbation withoutwatching pornography is not a problem. However, regular practicecombined with pornography can lead to addiction and serious physical andpsychological consequences which affect one’s development and future life.Let me be more specific: occasionally means less than once a month,irregularly, while often means more than once a month, regularly. [3] Itshould be clearly stated that masturbation alone, without watchingpornography, results only in a temporary fatigue of the body, which requiresa bit of energy to rebuild the semen supply. Releasing the sexual tensionbuilt up by a natural libido will not result in physical or psychologicalproblems. What changes masturbation into something unhealthy, againsthuman nature (substantially increasing frequency and compulsiveness [4] ),is pornography. You have undoubtedly noticed that masturbation withoutpornography takes much longer than with pornography and that it’s onlypossible after some period of abstinence. This is because the mind of a manneeds a sexual stimulus, which is a woman. The male body is not naturallyable to conjugate with dozens of women within a few hours and to fertilizeall of them. Pornography helps to fool the male brain, thanks to whichmasturbation can be easy, fast, and even very frequent. Unfortunately, thiscomes at a cost. Why is it that sporadic cases of such behavior may lead toincreased frequency or addiction? Because pornography and masturbationprovide massive, momentary pleasure, and in modern times they alsoprovide an escape from everyday problems—just like hard drugs, where themechanism of addiction is very similar.As this book is being written (2017), statistics show that at least 2/3 ofAmerican men aged 18–49 regularly watch pornography. The vast majorityof them are addicted and do not realize the position they are in. Some,

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however, suppose that such involuntary habits are not healthy for them.These doubts will not be confirmed by the aggressive industry based onhuman sexuality. People working in this industry will claim that watchingpornography is a normal practice because they make a tremendous amountof money from it. What’s more, they will push the falsehood that frequentejaculations are healthy. Unfortunately, masturbating too often—upsettingthe natural rhythm of the body—can have undesirable consequences. Also,remember that limiting sexual activity is not harmful to the body. The bodywill adapt [5] and use the previously unduly lost energy, micronutrients, andvitamins in a different way. At least 25% of pornography viewers are awareof the problem and are searching for a solution, but only a small percentageof them are able to break the habit on their own. Perhaps they are not yetaware of the benefits of this decision. This group experiences more andmore frequent pangs of conscience that may lead to depression. There arealso those who have learned about the pernicious effects of pornography,and have decided to give it up once and for all. I am one of those people.When I started to enter adulthood, I realized that I don’t want to just livemy life, but I want to enjoy it, to achieve professional and personal success.When I started to suspect that watching pornography was adverselyaffecting my body, I started doing research. Thanks to that, I learned thecomplexity of the problem and understood the intricate mechanisms thatthis activity triggers in a man’s body. All of the key steps in this process aredescribed within this book. I also give pointers on how to categorically stoppornography use and masturbation. It will be a lot easier if you becomeaware of what is happening in your body when you experience a powerfultension and what effects its remission will bring. It’s necessary tounderstand the problem in order to deal with it. In addition, the method Ipropose will help you not only to ultimately abandon pornography, but alsoto convert this achievement into an invaluable force that will allow you toattain your most ambitious goals. In the book, I mainly describe how givingup pornography can affect your development and can strengthen thefeatures that will help you to lead a happy life, to reach your goals, andeven to get rich. I have also included a number of fundamental questionsrelated to getting rich, which will help you understand the significance ofthe problem. I have made every effort to ensure that my message is concise

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and comprehensible, and that the information has been verified and ispresented objectively.

It’s up to you how you use your potential.

In a few places, I refer to resources, forums, and support groups thatwill also help you to resist sexual stimuli. Besides, if this book turns out tobe insufficient for you, you can explore the subject yourself by referring tothese resources. Do not hesitate to pass on this knowledge to any loved oneswho are in need.

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2. SYSTEM BASICS

he doctor of the future will give no medication, but will interest hispatients in the care of the human frame, diet and in the cause andprevention of disease.

- Thomas A. Edison

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2.1. THE MOST COMMONPROBLEMS

In order for you to properly understand what the problem is, I’ll explainhow pornography works with masturbation and how they are linked toaddiction. One of the people who investigated the porn issue is GaryWilson, in his book,

Your Brain on Porn

. [6] Wilson also founded awebsite under the same name. You can find a lot of information there, aswell as links to reliable sources. I will try to describe the issue as conciselyand as understandably as possible, because it is only one of the problemscovered in this book.I regret that I didn’t learn earlier how this process works. At the age of14, I believed my schoolmates when they said that masturbating topornography is normal. At first, my suspicion and respect for nudity mademe skeptical about pornography. Over time, curiosity and my inability tocope with sexual tension won. It was only years later that I began to deducethat pornography was causing the havoc in my mind and body.Do any of the following symptoms seem familiar to you?● a lack of satisfaction and contentment derived from everyday activitiesor entertainment● lingering bitterness and a lack of enthusiasm● neglect of responsibilities and sloppy work performance● chronic fatigue● a lack of motivation

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● difficulty concentrating and deteriorated short-term memory● memory problems● growing social anxiety● reduced libido● shyness● general anxiety or a desire to hide● irrational fear● an imagination that often generates sexual images● constant sexual tension and lack of satisfaction after orgasm● problems getting/maintaining an erection during intercourse● problems achieving orgasm during intercourse● odd pelvic pain● objectification of women● the need for stronger and stronger stimuli, more vulgar pornography,and new fetishesThese are some of the possible symptoms of pornography abuse andfrequent masturbation. I experienced a number of them after a few monthsof regularly visiting porn websites. If you habitually masturbate to porn andexperience any of these symptoms at the same time, it is a sign that you aredoing it too often. If you have not experienced any of these symptoms yet,it is not too late to break the habit without discovering their side effects.Unfortunately, when these symptoms appear—especially the physical ones —the matter becomes serious.

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Contemporary medicine is still in its infancy when it comes to dealingwith the abuse of sexual stimuli. Only a small group of specialists are awareof the cause of the above-mentioned ailments. Others, who do not knowthis, refer their patients to psychologists and prescribe various—oftenunsuitable—medications. They simply cannot help. Only in the past fewyears has there been widespread access to high-speed internet and free,high-quality pornography. Likewise, it’s only been a few years sincepatients with such problems started visiting their doctors. As a rule, doctorsdon’t know what’s going on, and from the beginning they disqualifypornography and masturbation as the cause. Nonetheless, it has beenreiterated for many years that masturbation is actually healthy for the malebody. It’s just that medicine envisions masturbation aided by theimagination or gaudy magazines and grainy video tapes. These media— which are now rarely used—only offer a substitute for the sensations thatmodern high-quality pornography guarantees.Before the Internet era, an inquisitive youngster usually soon got boredplaying with himself, and was genuinely anticipating his first experienceswith women. With the current possibilities offered by the porn industry, andespecially by its regular exploration, it is increasingly difficult to deliverenjoyment in any other way. Sadly, this results in a waning attraction to realrelationships with the opposite sex or a reduced pleasure from having sex inreal life. This is evidenced by a survey [7] carried out in Italy: as many as10% of the students participating in it admitted that pornography lessenedtheir desire to find a real partner, and 16% of those viewing pornography atleast once a week confirmed a decline in desire. There were no such casesamong the participants who didn’t use pornography.It often happens (I experienced it myself) that a pornography viewerstrives to have sex with a woman more from a sense of male obligation, andless because of his natural instinct. Often, sexual intercourse does not takeplace because the man has erectile dysfunction. [8] It also turns out that hecannot orgasm inside a woman’s vagina, which is not as tight as a clenchedfist. It tends to be very unpleasant when you can’t satisfy your own desireor your partner’s expectations. Similar things happen when you stressyourself out before intercourse. Wanting to rise to the challenge canparalyze you. That is how I explained my weak performances and that’s

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how my partner treated them as well. This is usually the first misdiagnosiswhen it comes to watching pornography and masturbation. [9] Believe me,nothing arouses an appetite like hunger. In this case, it’s a matter of thecentral reward system. We are able to get an erection and have sex onlythanks to the powerful release of dopamine [10] . A period of abstinencefrom pornography and sexual arousal can regenerate the receptors in thebrain and can allow us to once again become satisfied with the normaldoses of dopamine secreted before or during intercourse with a woman.Fortunately, giving up pornography for some time can help. [11] For someit may take one month, for others perhaps one year—but the detox usuallyworks. The first evidence indicates that the longer someone has used pornand the higher quality it was, the longer the detox period will take.

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2.2. HOW IT WORKS

The cause of the disorders described above is several mechanismsrelated to watching pornography. One of them is known as the Coolidgeeffect. [12] It is named after the American president, Calvin Coolidge.According to an anecdote, the president and his wife were visiting a chickenfarm. When the president’s wife learned that the rooster could mate dozensof times a day, she told the attendant to repeat this to President Coolidge.When the news about roosters’ sexual potential was passed on to him, thepresident asked if these dozens of sexual relations happened with the samehen each time. When he heard that this wasn’t the case, he asked theattendant to tell that to Mrs. Coolidge...The best illustration of this mechanism is an experiment in which amale rat and a female rat are placed in a cage. It is easy to predict that themale rat will be eager to start mating with the female. After the firstintercourse, he will be a bit weary, and in the following approaches he willneed more time to ejaculate or he will become completely uninterested inthis female. Everything starts all over again when the female is swapped fora new one. Then the male regains his vigor and tries to impregnate the newfemale. This substitution of females can be continued until the male isphysically exhausted. The appearance of a new female increases dopaminelevels, stimulating the reward system. This primitive mechanism also worksin humans; its aim is to encourage us to reproduce and to conceive as manychildren as possible. Unfortunately, it also works when a man’s brain sees anaked woman on a computer screen. When a man constantly sees the samewoman, the brain quickly gets bored and the level of dopamine drops. Inthese times of high-speed Internet and access to millions of moviesfeaturing different women, it’s possible to maintain a consistently high levelof dopamine. Watching pornography, particularly a series of new videoswith new women, leads to sustained high levels of dopamine. Thismechanism causes the viewer to become easily addicted to the constant hits

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of dopamine. Thanks to the free access to porn content and the minimumeffort needed to obtain a constant flow of dopamine, the reward systembecomes more and more resistant to low doses of dopamine, and after awhile only new pornography can cause it to spike.A significant factor in this mechanism is novelty, for which the rewardsystem triggers the discharge of dopamine. Because the system rewards youfor new experiences, we fondly remember the first time we engage invarious activities. This is also one of the reasons why surfing the web is soengaging. Internet resources provide an endless supply of novelties.Another woman to copulate with is also another novelty. The combinationof discovering new experiences and watching pornography creates a hugesurge of dopamine levels. [13] Australian scientists have conducted a study[14] in which a man was shown the same part of an erotic film over andover again. With each successive screening, his sexual arousal subsided.When another movie was played, his arousal immediately increased. It’seasy to guess that a brain which has just seen dozens of naked womenwithin a few minutes on the Internet is unlikely to be permanentlystimulated by one real-life woman. The dopamine influx won’t be powerfulenough to act on the reproductive organs.The primitive reward system has evolved to propel us towards survival.This system rewards us with dopamine for food, reproduction, love,achievements, friendship, and novelty. The higher the dopamine productionis during a given activity, the more we desire it. As a result, if somethingdoes not grant an adequate hit of dopamine, then naturally, we are notinterested in it. Sexual activity is the greatest possible source of a naturaldopamine hit for the brain. Dopamine also plays a key role in drugaddiction, as drugs constitute an unnatural source of vast surges ofdopamine in the body. The mechanisms of addiction to pornography anddrugs are similar. After taking drugs (e.g., amphetamines or cocaine)dopamine transporters become inhibited, that is, the body struggles toremove the dopamine from between the neurons. [15] This intensifies theaction of dopamine on its receptors. In consequence, a person feels aseuphoric as when he or she achieves something, such as winning a difficultcompetition or even having sexual intercourse. However, the accumulation

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of large doses of dopamine destroys some of the receptors, and the brainbecomes desensitized to smaller amounts of dopamine, which can lead tofeeling down in the dumps.Lower doses of narcotics stimulate the feeling of an energy boost,heightened motivation, and enhanced cognitive abilities. This is becausedopamine is not just connected with rewards. It is also responsible for ourpursuit of a reward, our anticipation, and desire. Dopamine spurs incentivemotivation; this is what pushes us to achieve long-term objectives and winpotential prizes. When we are striving for a goal, small doses of dopamineare secreted naturally. Thanks to that, we become focused, our senses aresharpened, and our muscles can do more than usual. The motivationalfeature of the reward system is essential for achieving happiness andsatisfaction. If we want to pursue those aims, we need to take care of thissystem, especially in these days of such powerful, readily-available stimuli.When the reward system is abused, we may not even feel those small dosesof dopamine which are crucial for motivation, so our damaged dopaminereceptors may need more of it to cause a similar effect. This is also whysome people are addicted to sources of high dopamine spikes, such asdrugs.Relationships with women are a very good example of how naturalmotivation is built through the reward system. When we meet an attractivewoman, the brain triggers a small rush of dopamine, which increases ourlevel of motivation. This motivation encourages us to approach the woman,talk to her, impress her, and invite her somewhere. This motivation alsomeans that we want to maintain this acquaintance and eventually establish alasting relationship. The next stages of the relationship with this womandrive the flow of even larger infusions of dopamine, causing excitement,[16] while sexual intercourse with her triggers a burst of dopamine leadingto euphoria. Note, however, that advertisements with women in theirunderwear also provoke excitement, and that interacting with pornographyvery quickly incites euphoria. Pornography viewers often give uprelationships with real women because they know that pornography willdeliver the euphoria much faster.

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Pornography also changes attitudes towards women and makes itdifficult to establish a healthy relationship. Lamentably, one’s naturalinterest in everyday relationships with women can be impaired byeroticization and pornography. Pornography objectifies women. As a result,the only thing that we come to expect from them is the rush from a largedose of dopamine. Women sense our intentions straightaway and perceiveour behavior as incomprehensible or inappropriate. Unfortunately, constantvirtual encounters with sexual stimuli anesthetize the reward system, asystem that is based on small amounts of dopamine which are necessary forcreating the motivation needed to maintain a normal relationship andfinding a partner.Remember, the motivational rationale of the reward system is necessaryto achieve fulfillment in life. We need motivation in order to work, learn,find ideas, build businesses, and to set life goals and realize them. It is notworth forfeiting such an important driving force of the body for temporary

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pleasures in the form of artificial stimuli. [17] You might wonder how it’spossible, then, that some people with a high social status or substantialwealth lead a promiscuous life, and liberally use stimulants and the sexindustry. The answer is simple: typically, these people already haveflourishing businesses and have achieved their status thanks to theirprevious work or inheritance. It may be that their image helps them to getricher. In most cases, however, to build capital from scratch, you needunlimited levels of motivation, inner strength, and years of hard work thatcannot be ruined by momentary pleasures.Now you know why a reward system which is fatigued by pornographydoes not motivate you to succeed. What’s worse, when we reach forartificial stimuli, we subconsciously form a mental pattern, leadingourselves to believe that any other actions or efforts will not provide us withso much pleasure so easily. On the other hand, the good news is that abuseddopamine receptors should regenerate after a certain period of abstinencefrom strong stimuli, which will allow the reward system to return to normal.

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2.3. SUPERNORMALSTIMULI

In 1973, Nikolaas Tinbergen received the Nobel Prize in Physiology orMedicine for a series of extraordinary discoveries regarding the factors thatgovern animal behavior. [18] He discovered, for example, that if a bird wholays distinctive eggs has her own egg substituted with a larger, but similaregg, she will brood more eagerly than atop her own. The choice of egg isinstinctive. A larger egg with more strongly pronounced characteristics ofthe given species may indicate that the chick will be stronger when hatchedand will have a better chance of survival. Such a biological adaptation ofthe species seems to make sense. However, Tinbergen continued theexperiment, placing ever-larger dummy eggs into the bird’s nest. It turnedout that there was almost no limit to the increase in stimulus that the birdwould respond to. Birds were even trying to brood eggs that would havebeen physically impossible for them to lay. It didn’t bother them when theeggs were nearly as big as the birds themselves and they would slip off theirsurface. Taking into account that the birds chose large plaster eggs at theexpense of their real offspring, one might suppose that this mechanism isdefective. What Tinbergen developed is called the supernormal stimulus.This is a stimulus whose effect on instinctive behavior is directlyproportional to the level of its exaggeration. Supernormal stimuli even workwhen they are so strong that they do not occur naturally in such a form.They impact our behavior more effectively than anything else, so we oftendesire fake things more than real ones.The basic proof that humans are also susceptible to supernormal stimuliare sweets and fatty foods. Prehistoric people did not have such comfortableliving conditions and such easy access to food as we do now, so sugar andfat became a very strong stimulus for collecting food and obtaining energy.When the characteristics of the human body were developing, people didn’t

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know about agriculture or animal husbandry. Fruits rich in sugar andvitamins were hard to come by and could only be found when in season.Wild animals—which were not easy to catch—had almost no fat, in contrastto those bred today. Unfortunately, these stimuli have been exploited by theindustry in order to sell junk food. People often stuff themselves withunhealthy food, although they are aware of the danger. This demonstrates how susceptible the human brain is to supernormal stimuli. Marketingresearch even indicates that the more sugar a product has, the higher itssales are.Unfortunately, people have learned how to use supernormal incentivesfor commercial purposes. The same is true for the human body. There areubiquitous advertisements featuring beautiful and often semi-naked people.Using the human body to promote products often completely unconnectedwith the body has for a long time exceeded the limits of logic. Thepornography industry openly uses this mechanism. Even the sight of anaked body is a very strong stimulus for a man. All you need is easy accessand minor suggestions for the man to swallow the hook and ogle thepictures and videos. However, pornographers went even further. They tookthe most intense stimuli of human sexuality and exaggerated them tounnatural proportions. Porn actors have strongly accentuated sexualcharacteristics, and their interactions, speed of movement, and positionshave little to do with natural sex. Unfortunately, we easily succumb tosexual stimuli, so we can quickly become addicted to commonly availablepornography. The fact that people often choose pornography over datingand sex proves that pornography is an artificial, supernormal stimulus.

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2.4. CHEMICALS ANDHORMONES

Watching pornography and masturbating frequently wreak havoc inboth the mind and the body. As is well-known, each act of masturbationleads to ejaculation and a loss of sperm. When we lose sperm, the bodybegins to rebuild its supply. Semen is the most capital-intensive tissue thatthe male body produces. The more often we lose it, the more energy thebody spends on its production. The production of spermatozoa, which arecomponents of the sperm, is based on spermatogenesis and is time-consuming: it takes approximately 70 days. [19] A large part of the processinvolves duplicating the genetic code and multiplying it. The ejaculate itselfconsists of valuable vitamins and minerals that are collected from the entirebody. It is made up of enzymes, proteins, amino acids, flavonoids, zinc,selenium, and vitamin C. Most of the chemicals necessary to create a newsupply of sperm are also needed for the proper functioning of other organs.If these components are excessively used to produce ejaculate, the bodymay become deficient in them. A single ejaculation can cause a slightfatigue of the body, whereas frequent ejaculation can result in a deficiencyof micronutrients and vitamins, and even faintness.The loss of semen alone, however, does not affect the mood and well-being of a man as it does the hormone economy associated with it. Thecommon understanding is that frequent ejaculation has a negative effect onlibido. This issue was first described by Sigmund Freud. He defined libidoas the internal energy through which “the drives of life” fulfill theirfunctions. Considering the time period—the end of the 19th century—hisobservations were quite accurate. Libido can also be described as theattitude toward and mental representation of the inner sex drive.

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It is often assumed that a high libido signifies a man who feelscomfortable in the company of women and that it is connected with self-confidence, but—in my opinion—self-confidence has more to do withundertaking challenges, being competitive, taking risks, or being a leader.In the case of libido and sexual relations with women, we should say thatwe feel at ease, and that our relationships are natural and healthy. The term“self-confidence” can equate relationships with women to the achievementof a goal and its objectification. This approach seems unhealthy and canhave destructive effects on a man and his relationships with women. Whyshould these relationships be raised to the level of an achievement? Whyfocus on something that is natural and results from innate instincts?Unfortunately, analyzing and conniving ways to seduce a woman does nothelp with libido. This behavior is typical of pornography fans who replacenatural behavior with plotting about “how to get into her pants.” Wedefinitely make a better impression and achieve better results when we stopthinking, or even turn off our intellect and rely on nature. It is true that menwith high libido—who are comfortable in the company of women—receivemore attention from the opposite sex. Women can easily sense who behavesnaturally around them and who does not. Interestingly, this natural malebehavior is determined to a large extent by variables such as hormones.Testosterone, which is also responsible for the development ofmasculine features, principally influences libido. Its production occurschiefly in the testes and to a small extent in the adrenal glands as well. Itplays a decisive role during sexual maturation, and in the development andgrowth of the sex organs. It also helps to build and maintain bone density, toincrease muscle mass and strength, and to break down fat. It stimulates theproduction of red blood cells and semen. Thanks to testosterone, we feelconfident, strong, level-headed, and calm; we easily cope with stressfulsituations and can manage risk. Testosterone kindles the need to discoverand explore the world. There is a direct dependence, meaning that a highlevel of testosterone implies increased exploratory activity. In animals, thisis manifested by an active examination of the surrounding environment andthe objects found within. In humans, it takes the form of cognitive curiosity.Testosterone is essential in a man’s life.

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It is easy to conclude that if a large amount of testosterone is consumed,for example, by ejaculation and sperm production, testosterone levels maydecrease. However, research suggests that masturbation does notsignificantly affect blood testosterone levels before, during, or aftermasturbation. At the moment of a masturbation-induced orgasm,testosterone levels are relatively stable, and large amounts of noradrenaline,adrenaline, and prolactin are released into the bloodstream. [20] It is only inthe case of regular masturbation that normal testosterone levels maydecrease. For ethical reasons, testosterone levels have not been checkedbefore and after regular masturbation. We know, however, that limitingmasturbation in the long run results in an upsurge of normal testosteronelevels. This was studied by scientists from Essen, [21] who checkedtestosterone levels 3 weeks after the last masturbation-induced orgasm. Theresults were unambiguous: “higher testosterone levels were observed after aperiod of abstinence.” Why does this happen?The reason for falling testosterone levels may be a deficiency of themicronutrients which are necessary to produce testosterone [22] —forexample, zinc and selenium—and which masturbating too often can flushout of the body. Testosterone production is a complex process that requiresa lot of valuable compounds to be supplied by the body. Another reasonmay be prolactin, which is responsible for about 300 different processes. Inmen, an elevated prolactin level also lowers testosterone production, somaintaining an elevated prolactin level for a longer time—through frequentmasturbation, for example—can reduce testosterone levels. Prolactin isresponsible for the feeling of satiation after intercourse, but a masturbation-induced orgasm causes a much smaller amount to be secreted. [23] On theother hand, prolactin levels after sex are higher than after masturbation,though they drop faster. Masturbation does not allow you to becomesatiated after sexual stimulation to the same extent as sex does, so you canassume that when this cycle is often repeated, elevated prolactin levels aresustained in the body. One cause of decreased libido [24] is a sharpdecrease in androgen receptors (i.e., testosterone receptors) in thehypothalamus due to masturbating too frequently. The result is that thebody stops feeling the presence of testosterone and we start behaving as ifwe don’t have enough of it.

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Interestingly, some studies have indicated that relations with womenand having sex with a partner have a major impact on raising testosteronelevels. In one study, [25] 42 men were sent to a sex club; 26 of them hadsex and the rest only observed the situation. The group that had sex hadincreased their testosterone levels by about 70%, while the men who onlywatched sexual activity experienced increases of just over 10%. In anotherstudy, [26] the testosterone levels of the men in 4 couples were measuredbefore and after sex in the evening, as well as the following day when thecouples did not have sex. This study showed that testosterone levels wentup when intercourse occurred, but remained at the same level before sexand after nights without sex. Based on these studies, it can be concludedthat sexual intercourse with a woman has an influence on increasedtestosterone levels in a man, and even that successful intercoursecontributes to this increase. Perhaps this is caused by the mere fact ofsatisfying a woman and the feeling of fulfilling the role of a male. Anotherfactor may be female pheromones. The studied effect of women’s presenceon testosterone levels in men allows us to assume that normal levels oftestosterone are lower in men who do not plan to interact with women for along time. This applies mainly to men who watch pornography andregularly masturbate in solitude, and to those who don’t but haveabandoned relationships with women, perhaps because of insecurities.Lowered testosterone levels cause a lack of confidence, a feeling of lessmasculinity, fearfulness, and sociopathy. Men with low levels oftestosterone often have soft bones, poorly developed muscle tissue, obesity,a greater tendency for gynecomastia (breast formation), an increased risk ofcardiovascular disease, higher levels of bad cholesterol (LDL), andneurological and psychological problems. [27] On the other hand, excessivetestosterone levels may cause bald spots, faster development of an enlargedprostate, lower good cholesterol levels (HDL), or fits of aggression.However, radically elevating and maintaining testosterone levels withoutmedication is not as easy as reducing them. On the Internet, you can findmany tips on how to slightly boost your testosterone level, e.g., by eating aproper diet, getting enough sleep, taking cold showers, or just finding agirlfriend. Remember that an imbalance of the male hormonal system canlead to unpleasant consequences. Frequent masturbation can mean lower

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testosterone levels or an impaired response to testosterone in the body, andliving with limited testosterone can be difficult or even risky for a man.Sexual experiences are the most intense natural stimulus of the rewardsystem for people. Pornography helps us to cheat our brains and to enjoyendless sexual pleasure. Pornography makes it easier to get a powerfulinjection of dopamine and to masturbate, bringing orgasms sooner. It alsoenables us to increase the frequency of orgasms over time, as opposed tosexual intercourse with one partner. However, it makes it harder to besatiated. A man’s body is naturally equipped with a mechanism of rest aftersexual contact, allowing it to regenerate. As I mentioned before, anextraordinary amount of prolactin is secreted after a sexual act, [28] thanksto which a man feels sated and gratified. This is meant to counter thedepressive effect of overloading the dopamine receptors. The inflow oflarge doses of dopamine during stimulation and orgasm are a drain on thereward system, which may result in feelings of dejection anddisappointment during other activities. However, it should be noted that theamount of prolactin secreted after sex is up to 400% higher than the rise inprolactin after masturbation. [29] Additionally, each subsequentmasturbation occurring within a short time is very likely to trigger a smallerand smaller release of prolactin. If the amount of the secreted prolactin issmaller and smaller, each following masturbation elicits more and moredepression. Unfortunately, the feeling of depression can also lead toaddiction. [30] As a matter of fact, depression is one of the main reasonswhy people develop addictions. This is because the human brain also worksdefensively when we are in a bad mood and feeling downhearted. In thesecases, the brain suggests returning to the last activity that made us feelbetter. It is not hard to guess that if this activity was masturbating topornography, then the brain will push us to return to it—all the more sobecause access to innumerable new pornographic films provides unendingstimulation. This creates a vicious circle of addiction.The reward system and the endocrine system, especially dopamine andtestosterone, play a key role in a man’s life. Watching pornography andfrequently masturbating can contribute to an imbalance in these systems,and thus of the body and of the functioning of the brain. This, in turn, can

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ruin your motivation, deprive you of pleasure from everyday things, loweryour self-confidence, and even limit your opportunities—in your personallife, in your search for a life partner, in your dreams, in raising yourqualifications, in pursuing success, and in getting rich.

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2.5. WHERE DO WE BEGIN

There is a certain age bracket in the development of a man in which hislife’s paths crystallize. Most often, it is during puberty and early adulthood.In these stages, we particularly devote ourselves to getting an education,gaining experience, shaping our personality, and increasing our potential. Itis very important to allow the body to develop in a healthy, unhindered way.Particularly in this period, intense stimuli may contribute to an abnormalgrowth of the brain and other organs. It is during adolescence that doingsports and pursuing cultural and scientific interests is imperative for one’sfuture career. Our first demanding experiences at this age strengthen ourcharacter, develop our intellectual skills, and make us resistant to stress andrisk in adulthood. Schools and local communities offer unlimitedopportunities to develop one’s passions. However, all of this may seem dulland uninteresting if other strong stimuli appear before the young mind.The discovery of one’s sexuality is often accompanied by masturbation.It shouldn’t be harmful if done in moderation, and after a while, playingwith yourself will simply become boring. Pornography can successfullyengage you for longer, though. Frequent masturbation combined withpornography can disrupt the natural process of development. I rememberfrom my own experience that from the moment I started to watchpornography, I abandoned my passion for sports and music. Before theseartificial stimuli appeared in my life, I would step onto the court or fieldwanting to become the best, and at school I studied hard. When I started toregularly dedicate my time to pornography, that zeal instantly disappeared.[31] I became lazy and disobedient. I didn’t see the point in anything.Nothing made me happy. My motivation evaporated. I degenerated fromearning very good grades to being an average student. My educationconsisted only in passing from year to year, so as not to disappoint myparents. The world around me seemed gray and gloomy. [32] I believed that

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somewhere else there was a better place where everything looked different,but where I was things were lousy and I didn’t have to try. I had a constantsense of discontentment with everything. It accompanied me practicallyeverywhere I went, among friends, at school, and with my family. Now Idon’t like being around such bitter people, but I used to be that way myself.And it all happened during the years that were supposed to be the mostbeautiful and blissful, and which I was supposed to pine for as an adult.Unfortunately, my abused reward system was unable to provide me the joy of everyday life. Before I started habitually watching pornography, Iwas brave. I started many projects and engaged others in them. When Istarted to watch porn, my courage vanished. [33] I avoided any riskysituations. I even avoided using public transport and leaving the housealone. The prolonged time my body went without the correct amount oftestosterone meant that my functioning was limited.Before pornography appeared in my life, I had a lot of female friendsand acquaintances who I was happy to hang out with. [34] Our relationshipswere based on mutual respect and trust. Pornography, however, taught meto look for an advantage in every friendship with a girl. [35] Before, thegirls liked me and I didn’t treat them objectively. Later, I began to payattention only to their appearance, and I considered old friendships to be awaste of time. Spending time with girls was now a mission to get to thenext base. [36] The paradox was that my focused sex drive was a kind oftension that could never be satisfied. My dealings in love becamecaricatures, because my relationships with girls didn’t provide me with any joy; I only took part out of a sense of duty. These relationships were soridiculous because my libido was constantly being rebuilt. Inside, I feltanxious and maybe even timid: I became shy, which made it challenging forme to meet new people. [37] As you can easily guess, such relationshipscannot be maintained. From online forums, I know that a lot ofpornography users complain of nervousness and social anxiety. As a youngman, I was unaware of where it came from. After all, it seemed likeeverything was under control. To make matters worse, more and morepeople were talking about how harmless masturbation is, which encouraged

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me to use pornography and prevented me from attributing anyconsequences to it.I can’t turn back time or predict how my life would have gone if Ihadn’t clicked on a pornography website and hadn’t been fooled by thesestrong stimuli. I realize, however, that life goes on and I can still make upfor lost time. All that remains is the regret that I spent a large part of myteenage years watching porn actors copulating.

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3. WHAT HAS BEEN SEENCANNOT BE UNSEEN

ou’ve got one body and one mind—that’s all that is really yours. Thisbody and this mind feel fine now, but they have to last you a lifetime.

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3.1. REMEMBERING

The power of the human mind lies in a very good memory and a vividimagination. It’s good that we remember the beautiful moments from ourlives. We can always lift our spirits by conjuring pleasant memories.However, our memory also records things we would like to forget about.People say that it is hard to put your past behind you. It is usually difficult,especially a short time after the event. With time, though, it is easier toforget about certain things because we can distance ourselves from whathappened. We also subconsciously erase unpleasant experiences from ourmemory.In the case of pornography, it would be much better if we did notremember the scenes and characters we watch. Pornography is easilyevoked by human memory, and this can have a very damaging effect on thebody. Pornographic thoughts can contribute to a rise in sexual tension, dueto which you cannot function normally. If we induce sexual arousal inourselves, for example when we are in class or at work, we are not able tofocus on our activities or perform them assiduously. We cannot concentrateon studying and when we have a job to do, we either procrastinate or do itsloppily in order to carry on thinking about naked women and to release thetension. Additionally, when we recall erotic images in our memory, thebody subconsciously prepares itself for sexual intercourse. This bringsabout sexual arousal and activates the reproductive organs, which begin toproduce the ingredients of the ejaculate. If we often generate arousal inourselves and we don’t relieve the sexual tension by ejaculating, unpleasantfeelings may appear in the pelvis and testicles.Unfortunately, pornographic images are the most difficult for the brainto erase from memory. The brain associates these images with somethingthat was pleasant. What’s more, it recalls these pictures very quickly andaccurately. Sometimes, pornography fans are not only unable to get rid of

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the images and movies in their memory, but are also unable to stopinvoluntarily conjuring up these images. Pornography is not only aboutwatching: it is also thinking about pornography, remembering, andimagining. Watching pornography can play a part in the deterioration ofmemory, and more specifically, it can make it difficult to remember otherimportant information. The brain scrupulously records what is pleasurableand intense for it, and if something does not cause such pleasure or is notintense enough, the brain will be reluctant to remember it.

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3.2. RESEARCH ON BRAINPERFORMANCE

A German study [38] suggested that a man becomes forgetful whenlooking at erotic pictures. The subject of the study was short-term memory,which is necessary for carrying out tasks, understanding issues, and makingdeductions and decisions. Twenty-eight men at a mean age of 26 were givenmemory tasks to solve, but before doing so, some of them were shownerotic pictures while others were shown photos of ordinary, everydayactivities. The men who looked at erotic pictures achieved an average scoreof 67% correct answers, whereas those in the second group got an averageof 80% correct. This study showed that sexual arousal triggered by eroticimages conflicted with the efficiency of working memory and caused thebrain to disregard information coming from the environment. Thisincreased the number of wrong decisions. It is interesting that people whorated the pictures as not very stimulating had a greater need formasturbation and scored lower in the task which tested their workingmemory. The authors of the study found that sexual arousal and its impacton cognitive processes may explain some of these negative effects.Other studies have shown that sexual stimuli also impact executivefunctions. They demonstrated that sexual stimulation negatively affects ourreaction time, [39] target perception, [40] and decision-making. [41] Theyalso investigated how watching pornography influences adolescents. [42] Itturned out that frequent use of adult content results in a deterioration oflearning ability.The researchers Ariely and Loewenstein emphasize that sex drive is animportant force which affects our behavior. [43] Their study revealed thatsexual arousal largely correlates with a person’s judgment and decision-

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making. Subjects who were sexually stimulated were more likely to engagein diverse sexual activities that were not perceived as desirable when theywere not sexually aroused. This finding refutes the view that sexualpreferences are an individual characteristic, as they are triggered bysituations, not by decisions. Moreover, the researchers showed that men aremore likely to violate ethical rules in order to satisfy their sexual appetites.When the brain receives a signal that there is an opportunity for intercourse,the willingness to have sex increases automatically.People who often watch pornography exhibit hypersexuality, orexcessive sexual appetite. [44] It is typical for such people that any sexualstimuli encountered in reality or recalled from memory—even ambiguousstimuli or sexual innuendo—give rise to sexual tension and arousal. Suchpeople are much more exposed to the weakening of cognitive abilities andlimited self-control resulting from sexual desire.Personally, I once participated in a study conducted as part of themaster’s thesis of a psychology student of a large university. When I was incollege, before I started earning an income, I often had the opportunity toearn pocket money. The study’s warnings about the risk of viewing adultmaterial did not deter me, because at that time I was using it almost daily.Neither before nor during the test did I know what its purpose was. I wasgiven a series of quite difficult logical tasks to complete. They consisted ofchoosing the best solution to a problem that needed to be recalculated. Iwanted to achieve the best result possible because the best score would earnan additional prize. In cases where I had doubts, it took me a long time tochoose the correct answer. When I solved the first puzzles, I was presentedwith a series of pornographic images, which I had to assess on a scale of 1to 7. After looking at the photos, I was given a second series of similarlogical tasks. These tasks were not any more difficult, but the calculationsbecame so demanding that I could hardly finish them. In the first series, Idid most of the calculations in my head, but in the second series, even withthe help of my notes I didn’t know what to compare with what in order toform an equation. I solved the initial set of problems by means ofcalculations, but in the second one, I chose most of my answers intuitively.Honestly, finding the solutions was so difficult for me that I just wanted thetest to end.

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When I finished, I couldn’t wait to ask the researcher about the purposeof the study. I was sure that it was to assess one’s weakened math skills,deteriorated short-term memory, and worsened decision-making as a resultof sexual arousal. This, however, would have been too obvious. Theresearcher said that it didn’t matter whether I solved the problems correctly.The subject of the study was the amount of time I spent making a decision.It turned out that as a result of sexual arousal I made decisions almost twiceas fast! I began to guess the answers to not only those tasks I couldn’t figureout, but also for those where calculations could have provided a clearanswer. In most of the tasks I just picked a random answer. I wouldimmediately become impatient and marking the correct answer ceased to beso important for me. My motivation to achieve the goal disappeared. Ineveryday life, such behavior would be extremely irresponsible. Take, forexample, people in management positions, who are in charge of theircompany’s success. Exposure to sexual stimuli can affect the quality of theirdecisions, and thus lead to a decline in the effectiveness of the companythey manage.To sum up, exposing yourself to erotic stimuli and watchingpornography may degrade your ability to remember, learn, react, solveproblems, and decide. This is due to many factors:● the disappearance of your motivation to learn,● the unwillingness to remember boring and low-key events,● distractions caused by sexual arousal and by pornographic memoriespopping into your head,● the focus on sexual satisfaction alone,● the weakening of your cognitive abilities,● the deterioration of your short-term memory, and● the impatience and inclination to put instant gratification before long-term, valuable goals.

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3.3. PHYSICAL CHANGESIN THE BRAIN

All of the cognitive and executive limitations related to watchingpornography that are described above are reflected in the structure andfunctioning of the cerebral cortex, mainly in the areas related to the rewardsystem. [45] The brain is an extremely flexible organ of the human bodythat changes throughout a person’s life according to the behavior of itsowner. [46] A Berlin study [47] on the response of the brain to sexualsignals showed a negative correlation between the amount of time spentwatching pornography and the number of gray cells in the stratium—inparticular the right caudate and its functional connectivity with the leftputamen. This connectivity disorder has also been reported in heroinaddicts. The right caudate plays an important role in learning, storing, andprocessing memorized information. [48] It works like a processor,interpreting the collected data to aid in making decisions and taking futureactions. Another study [49] on the reactivity of particular parts of the brainto signals of different sexual content showed a large variation amongrespondents diagnosed with compulsive sexual behavior (CSB, which alsodemonstrates hypersexuality, including the frequent use of pornography andmasturbation) and those without such a diagnosis. People diagnosed withCSB showed much more desire, while the preferences for the content theywatched did not differ from those of people without CSB. An increaseddesire was associated with the activation of the dorsal anterior cingulate, theventral striatum, and the amygdala. Such a variance was also found in astudy on addiction among drug users. Drug addicts responded to drug-related signals in much the same way as hypersexual people respond tosexual signals. The research I’ve cited so far has included the mostimportant studies on this matter. I encourage you to study the science of the

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human brain yourself and to familiarize yourself with a number of otherstudies on the impact of pornography on the brain. [50]The above-quoted studies indicate two main disorders in the brain of aperson viewing pornography: firstly, an overused reward system that doesnot react to less-than-intense stimuli and is even limited in function by theatrophy of gray cells in this part of the brain, and secondly, hypersensitivityto sexual signals that prematurely arouse lust and the need to relieve sexualtension. The coexistence of these dysfunctions effectively discouragesviewers of pornography from activities other than watching pornographyand masturbating, and also weakens their executive function and cognitivecontrol. Thus, as you can see, the lessening of entrepreneurial abilitiescaused by watching pornography is also causes by physical changes in thebrain of the porn viewer.

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3.4. THE BRAIN INACTION

In order for the mind to nurture the pursuit of ambitious goals, youcannot expose it to weakness or litter it with unnecessary information.Although there is no limit to the amount of knowledge that we can acquire,the content of acquired information can be destructive. Personally, I canconfirm—like many people on online forums—that abandoningpornography gave me clearer thinking, removed mental fog, and increasedmy patience, efficiency, creativity, speed of thinking, and memory. Theseare valuable benefits. It is also important to learn to control your thoughtsand to not allow the mind to evoke pornographic memories or erotic ideas.Clearing the pornography from your memory completely will be verydifficult and almost impossible. Almost everyone still remembers watchingtheir first pornography film, experienced even at a very young age. Overtime, after a period of abstinence, memories will slightly fade, and at thesame time, the power to control what appears in your mind will definitelyincrease.Pornography severely reduces our mental performance. The essence ofall projects and businesses is good decision-making, which can bediminished as a result of watching pornography. Making good decisionsrequires the following:-

knowledge that we can acquire through education and experience,-

rational calculations with no mistakes,-

creativity,-

self-control, and

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anticipation.Unfortunately, all of the features of the brain which are necessary tomake good decisions can be compromised by watching pornography.Entrepreneurs take special care of their mind and they want to keep it ingood condition whatever it takes. They sleep properly, exercise, and avoidstimulants. They often maintain a balanced diet or use vitamin and mineralsupplements that help maintain high intellectual performance throughoutthe day. Businesspeople know that by engaging in appropriate activities andfollowing good eating habits, they are able to optimally exploit theopportunities offered by the human mind. The myth that we only use 10%of our brains’ capacity has permeated pop culture. Meanwhile, the truth isthat we use 100% of our brains, as shown by simple MRI studies. Still, wecan considerably improve the efficiency of our brains: remember better,concentrate more, process information faster, and solve more complexproblems. It is also true that the brain, which accounts for approximately 3– 5% of the body’s weight, consumes about 20% of its resources, mainlyoxygen and glucose. It is very important to keep your body in good shapeand to provide it with the right amount of energy, vitamins, and minerals.Ejaculating too frequently and consuming the resources needed to rebuildsemen reserves can diminish the means required for the efficientfunctioning of other organs, including the brain.People who need brain efficiency in their day-to-day work are wellaware that not only physical factors can affect its functioning. The brainbecomes fatigued in the same way as the muscles do, so if we occupy itwith non-essential matters, we will not have enough resources left to dealwith vital things. What has a huge bearing on the human brain is theinformation we allow to enter it, and how and what we think about it.Successful people not only avoid distractions, but they also avoidunnecessary excitement that can sap their motivation or their mind. Theyalso avoid negative thinking—that is, the kind of thinking which canproduce a bad mood. Sadness, bitterness, and resentment may curb theircreativity and general fitness. Successful people cannot afford the worries,fear, or depression that may arise from frequently masturbating andwatching pornography. They cannot afford to have lower testosterone

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levels, which would limit their ability to take risks and to explore theunknown.People who want to maximize their productivity often stay away fromnot only erotic content, negative information, and toxic people, but alsofrom advertising, news, and journalism. Human attention is a preciouscommodity and many businesses are fighting for it. Often, the moreattention these businesses attract, the more effectively they work. Thismainly applies to what are commonly referred to as “advertising spaces”— such as the entertainment industry, television, social networks, banners,billboards, posters, and newspapers—but it also applies to pornographywebsites. Only viewership and website traffic ratings count for them. Forus, our attention is much more valuable. The time that we devote towatching pornography, to checking updates on social networks, to browsingnews about events that we have no influence on, is time wasted for us. Afterall, we can use this time to learn, develop ourselves, practice our favoritesport, earn money, or take another step towards the objectives we have setfor ourselves. If we want to undertake a really important activity, afterconsuming entertainment based on fast information or strong stimuli, wemay be ineffective or incapable. Perhaps it would be too radical tocompletely exclude entertainment from our life, because hobbies or sportsput us into a good mood or develop valuable skills, and this is necessary forcreative work. It is worth noting, however, that the majority of theinformation we are bombarded with provokes either a neutral or a negativereaction in us. It is not so much that this news draws our attention, but thatit causes us to worry and think about it. It drains from us the life energy weneed for action.For successful people, what counts is the information that reaches them.When they work, nothing must impede their concentration. They can’tafford to think about things that don’t concern them. Mental energy istremendously important to them. There is the well-known theory that everylittle unnecessary decision required throughout the day—what to eat orwhat to wear, for example—exhausts our intellectual capacity. That is whyBarrack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, and Steve Jobs famously shunned anychoices about what to wear or what to eat for dinner. They avoided suchtrivial decisions like the plague because they knew that they could restrain

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their ability to make other, more important and valuable decisions. Thismethod may seem drastic, but focusing on the highest aspirations requiredthem to help themselves in every way they could.Think about the extent to which dilemmas such as what to eat and whatto wear absorb your attention and decision-making powers. They are notthat absorbing, right? In fact, you might get the impression that thesedecisions have a minimal impact on your mental fatigue and efficiencythroughout the day. You have probably not yet experienced a situation inwhich these minimal resources of intellect were necessary to make a moreimportant decision even slightly better. Now think about how much of yourattention and mental strength is taken up by sexual stimulation, especiallypornography. Hundreds of times more, right? The brain becomes almostintoxicated by these strong stimuli. The decision of whether to watchpornography at all, which film to watch, which actors to choose, repeatedseveral times in a short period of time, already torments the mind, let alonethe strong engagement in what we are watching. If we perform such anenergy-intensive activity at least once a day, where do we get the mentalstrength to function for the rest of the day?

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4. WHAT IS ON OURMINDS?

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discus events, small mindsdiscuss people.

Eleanor Roosvelt

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4.1. PRECIOUS NOVELTY

On the road to success, it is very important to take care of the mind andto critically approach the information and erotic content we are bombardedwith. The reward mechanism for novelty is worth mentioning. It works bymaking us feel a little better when we’re watching something fresh, visitingan unfamiliar place, or learning something new. When the reward systemwas being developed, this mechanism was intended to mobilize us toexplore the terrain and to invent things that could facilitate our survival.Thanks to this same mechanism, we feel that we are satisfying our curiositythrough reading a new article on a news website. This mechanism is alsoresponsible for addiction to the Internet. Many people are unable to refrainfrom surfing the web. Involuntarily, they sit in front of their computer andclick on the most eye-catching headlines and banners. It is this mechanismwhich causes us to spend so much time browsing the Internet. It is not truethat websites are unnecessary in our lives, because through them we cancommunicate with our loved ones and can access important and valuableinformation. However, a lack of control over which news we access andwhich sources we find it from can be destructive. This side of the Internetmakes us inquisitive and tempts us to peep into people’s lives. Under theguise of entertainment, it engages us in matters that we would not normallyengage in. This is when we lose the most of our precious energy. After asession in front of a computer spent on mindless surfing, reading posts frompeople we barely know, or watching pornography, we feel mentally drained.When we browse the Internet, our brain releases small doses ofdopamine, which encourage us to seek more new information. Anotherwebsite opened is another novelty. As I mentioned, this mechanism is alsoresponsible for maintaining arousal in pornography users. When the pornowe are watching starts to bore us and doesn’t turn us on enough, we moveon to a new video and a new naked woman. This allows us to sustain thestate of sexual excitement. Only when dopamine doses stop satisfying us do

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we get bored and we leave the computer. Then, mental exhaustion alsoappears.After such online voyages, we have no desire for anything new for awhile. Because of the intensely exciting novelties which are literally at ourfingertips, the brain stops responding to other, much more importantnovelties at some point. And yet this mechanism would push us to discoverthe unknown! It is this mechanism which makes us excited about tryingnew restaurants and meeting new acquaintances. It’s sad that we often giveup many colorful experiences in life just because we can see them on thecomputer screen.The mechanism of rewarding us for novelty also becomes activatedwhen we look for new ideas and try to come up with something innovative.When we set ourselves the goal of finding a new product, creating a newservice, or designing an object or scheme, the brain begins to secrete smalldoses of dopamine which mobilize us to act and create new products. It’samazing that when we begin the creative process, the brain gives us such alarge dose of natural energy. Our thinking sharpens instantly, facts are mucheasier to connect, and our capacity to remember becomes greater andclearer. We are only a few thoughts away from synthesizing a new idea.When a new idea crystallizes, the reward mechanism induces a feeling ofhappiness and satisfaction. At the very moment we discover somethinggroundbreaking, when we come up with a business idea or craft a uniquedesign, or when our creation meets with approval and demand, weexperience a state of euphoria. Without this mechanism, it would be verytough to come up with a good idea. Unfortunately, this natural ease ofcreation will not be triggered when we deplete our potential withunnecessary information, trivialities, and pornography. Interestingly,dopamine—which we obtain during the creative process—is also addictive.This is one of the few addictions that positively influence people andsociety.Does this sound implausible? Think about what drove such inventors asLeonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison, Nikola Tesla, and Albert Einstein.These people created dozens, or even hundreds, of inventions. Theyconstantly had new ideas, they discovered uncharted territory, and they even

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devoted their whole lives to this pursuit. If it hadn’t been for their addictionto discovering new things, we may not be enjoying such prosperity today.These inventors differed from contemporary researchers in that they didn’thave access to such a vast array of information. From the perspective oftoday’s science, taking into account the access to resources that we enjoytoday, it can be said that their discoveries came out of nowhere. Theycouldn’t just open a web browser and look something up in a few minutes.They needed determination and unlimited patience. They studied books forhours, traveled to distant libraries, and had to remember most of theknowledge they read. Despite that, their discoveries were milestones in theprogress of humanity.Unfortunately, today we hear less and less about such astoundinginventions as the telephone, the steam engine, or the theory of relativity. Ifyou think about it, all of the new inventions around us are based onprevious ideas. TV sets with larger screens, computers with faster and fasterprocessors, smaller portable hard drives with more memory. Even modernelectric cars using cutting-edge technology rely on ideas which wereconceived years ago. We can say that there have been fewer and fewerdiscoveries and inventions that are important for humanity. Perhaps wedon’t find out about many inventions because they are unable to penetratethe public’s consciousness. Perhaps new discoveries which could bankruptexisting businesses are kept secret. On the other hand, the global populationis growing faster and faster, and we are not moving forward as fast asbefore. There are three times as many of us as there was in the 1950s.Despite living a more comfortable life, we work harder and longer. Perhapsthere is less and less to discover, so progress has slowed down. Or perhapsit isn’t so easy to notice new demand because all of our needs have alreadybeen met.However, we still aren’t able to save the environment, to eliminatehunger and poverty, to cease military operations, or to treat many diseases.It is very likely that most people have stopped seeking something truly newin the form of discoveries and inventions. Information and eroticizationbombarding us from all sides has effectively lulled our natural tendency topursue new goals and to venture into the unknown. In addition, a growingnumber of men have a reduced testosterone level, which is responsible for

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the determination to explore. I may be generalizing, but a lot of humanpotential is squandered in front of televisions and computers. Who knows,if people didn’t spend so much time consuming unnecessary information,we might be travelling freely to other planets. Perhaps then we would beable to give up the non-renewable energy sources and would solve all ourother problems once and for all?

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[52] Baumeister RF, Bratslavsky E, Muraven M, Tice DM (1998):

Egodepletion: is the active self a limited resource?

[53] Malte Friese, Wilhelm Hofmann (2009):

Control me or I willcontrol you: Impulses, trait self-control, and the guidance of behaviour

.[54] Klaus-Helmut Schmidt, Marlen Hupke, Stefan Diestel (2012):

Does dispositional capacity for self-control attenuate the relationbetween self-control demands at work and indicators of job strain?

[55] Roy F. Baumeister, Matthew Gailliot, C. Nathan DeWall, MeganOaten (2006):

Self-Regulation and Personality: How Interventions Increase Regulatory Success, and How DepletionModerates the Effectsof Traits on Behavior

.[56] Muraven M, Baumeister RF, Tice DM (1999):

Longitudinalimprovement of self-regulation through practice: building self-controlstrength through repeated exercise

.[57] In a standard test examining the depletion of self-controlresources, the subject performs a task that requires physical or mentalexertion for as long as possible. He or she does this twice, and the timetaken to do each of these tasks is measured. Between attempts, he orshe gets another task that requires powerful self-control. In this case,the timed task was to keep a fist clenched around a handgrip, and thetask requiring self-control was to suppress a thought, specifically,“Don’t think about a white bear.”[58] Oaten M, Cheng K. (2006):

Longitudinal gains in self-regulationfrom regular physical exercise

.

Or

[59] M. Oaten, K. Cheng (2007):

Improvements in self-control fromfinancial monitoring

.“Journal of Economic Psychology.”[60] Ibid.[61] Mark Muraven (2010):

Practicing Self-Control Lowers the Risk of Smoking Lapse

.[62] https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap[63] Rochard Felloni, “Business Insider” (2015):

Elon Musk explainswhy living off a dollar a day as a teenager convinced him he could doanything he wanted with his life

.[64] Lee N. Robins, Darlene H. Davis, David N. Nurco (1974):

How Permanent Was Vietnam Drug Addiction?

[65] Deborah C. Zetik, Alice F. Stuhlmacher (2002):

Goal Setting and Negotiation Performance: A Meta-Analysis

.[66] Andreas Jäger, David D. Loschelder, Malte Friese (2017):

UsingSelf-regulation to Successfully Overcome the Negotiation Disadvantageof Low Power

.[67] The studied subject was given a goal, for example, “Be persistentand achieve the highest score possible.”[68] What I have in mind is the if-then method, i.e., when suitablecircumstances emerge, we act according to the appropriate plan. Forexample, “If I receive a low offer, I will reject it and counter-offer with

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a compromise” or “If my opponent puts pressure on me, I will not losemy cool but will present my offer in small steps.”[69] In each case, the mean score of the results was reported.[70] The study was conducted as a survey among users of the websitenofap.com, a community focused on helping to fight addiction topornography.http://www.alec-sproten.eu/language/en/2016/01/18/how-abstinence-affects-preferences/[71] Simone Kühn, PhD; Jürgen Gallinat, PhD (2014):

Brain Structureand Functional Connectivity Associated With PornographyConsumption: The Brain on Porn

.[72] Hengyi Rao, Marc Korczykowski, John Pluta, Angela Hoang, JohnA. Detre (2008):

Neural correlates of voluntary and involuntary risk taking in the human brain: An fMRI Study of the Balloon Analog Risk Task (BART)

.[73] Coren L. Apicella, Anna Dreber, Benjamin Campbell, Peter B.Gray, Moshe Hoffman, Anthony C. Little (2008):

Testosterone andfinancial risk preferences

.[74] Thomas G. Travison, Andre B. Araujo, Amy B. O’Donnell, VarantKupelian, John B. McKinlay (2007):

A Population-Level Decline inSerum Testosterone Levels in American Men

.[75] It’s better to never start smoking.[76] “Endocrine Society” (2012):

Declining testosterone levels in mennot part of normal aging

.

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[77] J. M. Coates, J. Herbert (2008):

Endogenous steroids and financialrisk taking on a London trading floor.

[78] IPO (Initial Public Offering) – when a company or it’s owners sellshares on the stock market for the first time[79] An order to sell stocks when the price

falls below

the indicatedlevel.[80] An order to sell stocks when the price

rises above

the indicatedlevel.[81] Mattebo M, Tyden T, Häggström-Nordin E, Nillson KW (2014):

Pornography consumption, psychosomatic health and depressivesymptoms among Swedish adolescents

.[82] Kasper TE, Short MB, Milam AC (2015):

Narcissism and Internet pornography use

.[83] Leppink EW, Chamberlain SR, Redden SA, Grant JE:

Problematicsexual behavior in young adults: Associations across clinical,behavioral, and neurocognitive variables

. [84] Negash S, Sheppard NV, Lambert NM, Fincham FD (2016):

Trading Later Rewards for Current Pleasure: PornographyConsumption and Delay Discounting

.[85] (2016):

How Abstinence Affects Preferences

.

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[86] EW Leppink, SR Chamberlain, SA Redden, JE Grant(2016):

Problematic sexual behavior in young adults: Associationsacross clinical, behavioral, and neurocognitive variables

.[87] Messina B, Fuentes D, Tavares H, Abdo CH, Scanavino MT(2017):

Executive Functioning of Sexually Compulsive and Non-Sexually Compulsive Men Before and After Watching an Erotic Video

.[88] Kacey Ballard, Brian Knutson (2009):

Dissociable neuralrepresentations of future reward magnitude and delay during temporaldiscounting

.[89] I am not a theologian or a religious scholar, and the followinginformation comes from the research of online resources. I have alsosometimes included the opinions of forum users.[90] Paul Jedwab “My Jewish Learning”:

Traditional Sources onSexual Pleasure: Some classical Jewish statements about sex might surprise you.

[91] “Judaism 101”:

Kosher Sex

; http://www.jewfaq.org/sex.htm[92] Genesis 38, 9–10.[93] Wikipedia:

Religious views on masturbation

[94] Wikipedia:

Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

[95] http://hinduism.stackexchange.com/questions/697/what-does-hinduism-say-about-masturbation/704

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[96] Wikipedia:

Islam and masturbation

[97] Laura Stefani, Giorgio Galanti, Johnny Padulo, Nicola L.Bragazzi, Nicola Maffulli (2016):

Sexual Activity before SportsCompetition: A Systematic Review

.[98] Chris Morris “CNBC” (2016):

Porn's dirtiest secret: What everyone gets paid

.[99] “CNBC” (2015):

Things Are Looking Up in America's Porn Industry

.[100] See, for example, http://fightthenewdrug.org ;http://rewardfoundation.org

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Quit Porn and Get Rich The Unspoken Rule of Successful People (Martin Prescott)

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