I first started following Kathy Kattenburg on Twitter after she showed kindness to me following an article about my sex abuse in the Washington Post, at a time when many of my supposedly like-minded conservatives had not. It seemed like a minor example of cross-the-aisle political civility. But it soon revealed itself to be a lesson in how elusive civility can be these days, especially online, in an age when we’re often told (or telling others) that we need more of it.
Kathy, it turned out, engaged with my husband David as well. When he posted about the Second Amendment, she accused him of supporting laws that would kill people. When he posted about sexual mores, she mocked his “archaic” beliefs. When he posted about class warfare, she posted, “This is a truly awesome pity party.” When he wrote about faith, she said he “pushed God on suffering human beings.” When he wrote about false sex abuse claims, she accused him of promoting “rape apologists.” When he posted against antisemitism, she said he needed to leave that “to people who actually know what it is.”