I Was Nearly Killed on Jan. 6th. Four Years Later, I Feel Betrayed All Over Again.
The people whose lives I protected sided with my attackers. But they weren’t the only ones to let me down.
FOUR YEARS AGO, ON THIS VERY DAY, I kissed my wife and son goodbye and went to work in the Capitol, where I served as a member of the U.S. Capitol Police. There were indications that it would be a different day than most, with supporters of then-President Donald Trump gathering in Washington, D.C. to oppose the certification of Joe Biden’s election.
But that morning, when we showed up, none of us anticipated what lay ahead. By the afternoon, an angry mob of insurrectionists had descended on the Capitol complex, storming the security barricades in an effort to overturn the election. It quickly became violent.
I immigrated from the Dominican Republic at 12 years old. Though I struggled to adjust and assimilate, I learned to love this country. When I was able to, I joined the U.S. Army and served overseas, including in Iraq for 545 days. I was diagnosed with PTSD upon returning home. January 6th added another layer to that trauma. In fact, it was worse than any day I spent overseas.
In Iraq, I had the expectation that at any moment I could be killed by the enemy. But on January 6th, that feeling was constant. It was the longest day of my life, with more than forty people assaulting me—individually and in concert with others—over the course of exhausting, harrowing hours, all because the person who had incited the mob and had the authority to send the reinforcements chose to watch the siege on TV. As the attack unfolded sixteen blocks away, he cheered it from the comfort and safety of the dining room just off the Oval Office. While immigrant officers like myself were defending the Capitol, his minions—many native-born rioters—attacked it.
That person, Donald Trump, has now been re-elected. And today, exactly four years after January 6th, his victory will be certified by Congress. The U.S. Capitol Police will be there again, to ensure that the proceedings go off uneventfully. But this time around, the sitting president, Joe Biden, won’t inspire a mob to commit acts of violence. We will have a peaceful transfer of power. Trump will allow for it—because this time, he has won.
AS SOMEONE WHO HAS DEVOTED the last few years of his life to advocacy on behalf of democracy and public safety, I am grateful to see a peaceful transfer of power take place. But I also can’t help but feel a sense of betrayal on this anniversary of January 6th. I feel betrayed by the Department of Justice for not moving faster and with more purpose to hold accountable those who inspired the riot that day. I’m sickened that surviving benefits (Public Safety Officers’ Benefits) have not been approved for officers who were injured, physically and mentally, in the line of duty. I feel betrayed by the U.S. Supreme Court, which chose to declare presidents criminally immune for all “official acts” even if they threaten our constitutional and democratic institutions. I feel betrayed by those people who claim that they support the rule of law but gladly cheer on the people who violently attacked police officers.
And I feel let down by the members of Congress who turned their backs on us even as we saved their lives. And yes, we saved their lives that day.
Many members of Congress would not be here to vote to certify Trump’s re-election without our actions four years ago. The mob didn’t get to them, but not for lack of trying. They’re here today because four years ago officers like myself did what we did inside the Capitol tunnel. Had the mob taken that entrance, a lot of members would have been hurt or killed.
Some of these same elected officials—who claim to be on the side of the rule of law—are now defending the January 6th rioters and calling on Trump to pardon them. He has said he intends to do so. And adding insult to our injuries, some members of Congress are inviting rioters to Trump’s inauguration, bringing them back to the site of the building they desecrated. This infuriates me. It is dishonorable. We cannot expect these lawmakers to stand up to Trump or defend the Constitution in the future.
PEOPLE FAIL TO REALIZE that we were simply doing our jobs that day. They accuse me and my fellow officers of letting the mob in, of siding with Democrats, of hating Donald Trump. No. I sided with the law. I did it to the point that I lost my health and my career. And I’ve been a faithful public servant in the Army and as a law enforcement officer for twenty-five years.
I did what I did on January 6th because it was my job. I kept my oath. And since that day, I’ve felt an obligation to tell the American people exactly what we experienced and went through. They deserved to know the truth. My expectation was that our elected officials felt the same way—that they would not condone but condemn what happened, denounce the violence, and hold accountable the people responsible for it.
I did my part. They did not do theirs.
Instead, they gave the former president a platform to run again. The Republican officials who were the target of the mob contorted themselves to justify Trump’s actions. Others remained silent when they could have spoken out. Mitch McConnell refused to use his power to hold Trump accountable during Trump’s second impeachment. Kevin McCarthy flew to Mar-a-Lago to kiss the ring. They chose politics over what was best for the country. Donald Trump would not be president-elect today if not for those two individuals. They helped him turn January 6th into a badge of honor. While privately excoriating and expressing concern about Trump’s transgressions, publicly they have been staunch supporters.
This is the fourth anniversary of January 6th. This one hits harder than the other three and makes the moral injury far greater. What took place was an unforgivable, cardinal sin. But clearly much of the country, including one of our political parties, has chosen to reward those who committed it.