I am a young adult with mild autism. Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about Christianity because I study it. I’ve been feeling a calling because I’ve always wanted to have a relationship like the one the Bible describes with God - unconditional, understanding, everlasting. I have an app that gives me daily Bible verses and I try to pray whenever I am upset or just to tell God about my day. But I still have a lot of trouble putting faith in what I cannot see - a product of my condition. In these moments of doubt I feel really guilty because I do not want to make God upset with me and I want to be good. Also due to going to a pretty strict Christian school as a kid I internalised a lot of scary things about religion. I remember being maybe 5 and crying into my pillow because I was terrified of Hell but physically couldn’t put blind faith in God. In some aspects I still feel like I have not grown. Any help or reassurance would be great. I don’t have any Christian friends or family. I am really trying because I want to believe and be good for God. Bless you all!!