This article is a continuation of my previous piece, “how hard should you kiss a woman?”, and will become paid content in 7 days, out of shame.

A kiss, much like love, should leave no marks on its receiver. No welts, no dents, no raised ridges, no stings. No sound ringing out into the night. A spank has no such requirements.

‘Requirements’ is a funny word to use in relation to love, but it fits. If you can fail at something, fall short of it, then a certain set of requirements weren’t met. Not enough checkboxes were ticked, not enough effort was made. You didn’t tick enough boxes to manufacture devotion. And even if you did, how would you know? The reward for ticking those boxes is love — an emotion, immaterial and invisible. You can’t know for certain that you’ve made a woman love you. You can’t even see it.

This trait is not shared by an orgasm.

Sex, with enough boxes ticked, leaves something observable behind. Flushed cheeks, wet sheets, a snoring woman. The immediate aftermath of manufacturing desire is real, or close enough to real. Closer than love, anyway. And if something can be observed, if something can be achieved, then a window to obsession can open.

How neurotic can you be about a woman’s orgasm? How much of a perfectionist can you be? How hard should you spank a woman?