One of the things detransition has given me perspective on is how utterly toxic and destructive it is to assume that if your family doesn’t *immediately* acquiesce to your demands for a new name and pronouns that they must be transphobic bigots who don’t love you. I am ashamed of how I treated my own parents when I first transitioned, when all they ever wanted was what was best for me.
90% of the these “bigoted” family members are doing their best to make sense of things and trans people narcissistically fail to understand how counter-intuitive the act of opposite-sex gendering someone who doesn’t pass is unless you’re already indoctrinated into pronoun culture.
It is a literal skill that has to be learned to deny the reality of someone’s sex and making mistakes is usually not an indicator of someone being a “bigot.”
And even if someone is doing it intentionally, that doesn’t automatically make someone a bigot per se. It just means they have a different worldview and they almost certainly still love and care for you and want what’s best for you.
Trans activists would rather you sever ties with family who love you and accuse them of hate speech than learn to handle ideological differences with humility and understanding.
We should be teaching people to be able to psychologically handle “misgendering” instead of inculcating fragility by spreading the message that anything but immediate acquiescence is bigotry.
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