Male Gender Dysphoria
I wanted to share my response to a new piece by and , which Iâll link below.
I have a great deal of respect for you, Aaron, and really enjoyed reading it. Here are some points where I very much agree, and some additional questions and concerns that I have addressed differently.
Agreement:
1 Agp males in the past, despite beginning their transitions in middle age didnât have middle-age onset AGP, it was just more feasible to âcome outâ and begin transition after years of struggling with it and having more life stability and financial means later in life.
2 Todayâs culture, unlike times in the past, gives males no reason to repress AGP fantasies, even if they are minor or simply a little whisper in the background
3 Allo (attraction to other) and auto (attraction to self) sexual attraction may exist on a spectrum. Some males may fall somewhere in the middle, meaning they have some attraction to becoming women while also being attracted to other people who are women. So in todayâs culture, males who fall on many parts of this spectrum may feel more free to express and pursue their AGP fantasies. Perhaps in the past, males who fall closer to the allo side of the spectrum would simply have pushed the AGP desires aside or learned to manage them without any kind of outward feminine presentation.
4 A boy/young man can be both AGP and sweet, sensitive, ASD, shy, gifted etc. These traits are not mutually exclusive.
5 Either because AGP is misunderstood, because it elicits a powerful âickyâ visceral reaction, especially from women, or because itâs generally harder to comprehend than other forms of gender distress, parents and therapists alike have incentives to deemphasize the role it plays in the boysâ stories, or sometimes to outright deny its existence in the boysâ stories at all.
6 In some cases of adolescent-onset GD in such boys, sissification/emasculation porn didnât cause their trans identity, but simply facilitated a process that might have occurred otherwise (be it secretly, or publicly, as in point 3).
7 Males who experience any kind of AGP deserve to be given accurate information about this contributing cause of their GD without shame, stigma, insults, or denigration.
Considerations and unanswered questions:
1 Is it really possible that male sexual desire or male sexual identity is completely insular, fixed, and unaffected at all by time, place, culture, and personal experiences? Is it ALL nature and ZERO nurture?
a. Is female sexual identity the ONLY kind of identity that may be malleable, fluid and affected by time, place, culture, and personal experiences?
b. Why is it that when girls express an identity, we think they are flighty, brainwashed, and flaky? People claim their identities are totally influenced by social culture and environment and that girls canât trust their own self-perceptions. But when boys express an identity, people claim it was caused by an immovable and fixed part of who they really are at the very core: a sexual orientation, according to proponents of the AGP explanation for dysphoria in straight boys.
c. Iâm open to the data that female sexual identity is more fluid than male sexual identity, but the aforementioned bifurcation just seems over-simplified and rigid.
d. In other writing, Aaron does discuss AAP (the female equivalent) as a sexual orientation. Nonetheless, these hyper-neat categories, IMO, cannot capture the complexity of the individual, in either males or females.
2 I believe that GD, in all its forms and manifestations, is a complex, multifactorial experience that requires us to acknowledge the individual, unique factors which contribute to its development - we must do this on a case-by-case basis. The same is true for AGP-driven GD.
3 What is gained (and what is lost) by saying: âFor males, itâs either Gay or AGP. Full Stop. End of Storyâ? AndâŠ. What else may be going on, in addition to AGP?
a. The mere presence of AGP tells us very little about the human being in question. How does this AGP experience impact your self-understanding? What else from your story and your past fits into your current situation? What other options do you have for understanding and managing your compulsive erotic feelings? What can you do with the devastation that comes with never truly becoming the person you wish to be? What is the impact of this AGP experience (be it purely erotic, or a more wholesome love/affection) on your own life and your relationships? And for example, even if âthe internet didnât cause your AGPâ, could it be helpful to take a closer look your online behaviors and maybe reevaluate how you relate to your sexual fantasies?
4 Individuals concerned about gender medicine and the belief systems that prop it up, naturally, make close observations of the online forums and web posts that we have access to. We all do it: Reddit, Instagram, YouTube. Trying to understand these online spaces is one way we can study and make sense of Gender Dysphoria in contemporary times.
However, this mode of investigation is not the same thing as sitting down, one-on-one, and engaging with another person to slowly, incrementally build a relationship. In therapy, we have to remain curious about many complex, overlapping layers of the person who suffers with GD. If we can remain driven by this curiosity, rather than dogma or pet theories, each new client we meet will tell us a complex and unique story.
5 Nobody, of either sex, develops completely in a vacuum. We are all influenced by a combination of innate and external forces. We canât possibly know (for certain) what might have happened for any particular person if they lived in a different context. For that reason, I agree that itâs wrong to rule out AGP completely. And for that same reason, itâs wrong to assume that any particular personâs GD or AGP was inevitable. Letâs try to adopt some humility here, as it would best serve everyone involved.
bit.ly/4b5muXPQuote
Aaron Terrell
@elegationvain
How can you help someone desist from a trans ID or resolve their dysmorphia if you wonât even acknowledge the root cause of that ID/dysmorphia? How can you in good conscience mislead other therapists & parents about that root cause as well?
Who does this help? I know it helps
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