Drop Dead Fred Continuation

A story based on Drop Dead Fred

by Soopie Soo/Psyche Intense

"Now, where is it?" Lizzy muttered to herself, flicking through the many items of clothing hanging from the rail. It was the only outfit she could even think of wearing, her most responsible outfit. It was an important day for Elizabeth Cronin. A very important day. She had a job interview, her first one since she was fired three months ago, on that one unfortunate day. That day was phenomenal in more ways than one. And in fact, so was this one. Only, Elizabeth didn't know it yet. As she searched the contents of her wardrobe, no sound could be heard except the gentle clanging of the hangers. It was so quiet. Lizzy wondered at the emptiness of the house, now that Mickey had gone. She felt a pang of sadness as she recalled her three month relationship. It hadn't ended very well, and now, almost 3 weeks later, she was still nursing the emotional wounds. No-one, least of all herself, could have guessed that she and Mickey just weren't meant for each other. However, she recalled, her breakup with Mickey was far more amicable than the one between her and Charlie. Now, that had just been messy.

"Oh, I know it's here, it has to be here." she murmured softly. She stepped back and scanned her eyes over the contents of the wardrobe. Her eyes rested on the shelf above the clothes rail. There it was! The smart navy-colored skirt and jacket, as large as life. Just where she left it, folded neatly, still in its dry cleaning polyethylene. Lizzy smiled, and reached up to grab it. As she pulled it off the shelf, something else fell off with it, and clattered to the floor. Lizzy glanced down to see what looked like a small wooden box lying by her feet. She knelt and picked it up, and gave a little gasp as she did so. Turning it over in her hands, studying the faded pictures on each side, it did not take her long to realize what it was. Her old Jack-in-the-box, though more importantly, the former home of Drop Dead Fred. Just the mere thought of Fred made Lizzy smile. Now he was one guy that she would gladly welcome back into her life. Drop Dead Fred. Extreme? Definitely. Violent? Certainly. Comical? Well, he had made her laugh on a regular basis, saving her regularly from her self-pity. And now he was gone.

Oh well, Lizzy thought, I suppose I am better off without him. Yet even as she thought this, she could sense her own uncertainty. She fiddled with the handle of the Jack-in-the-box absentmindedly, and could hear the playful tune tinkling softly from within. Carefully setting it down on her bedside table, she went to dress.

Lizzy winced in pain as she trod on the side of her heel for possibly the fifth time that morning. The interview had finished about 15 minutes ago and she was meeting Janie for lunch. Lizzy's hands were still trembling, she had just been so nervous. Thinking back though, it seemed to have gone OK, and the interviewer seemed to be interested in what she had to say. Still, what she would have given to have had someone there to hold her hand. Even as the thought crossed her mind, Lizzy shook her head in disbelief of herself. She was 25 years old, and still had not grown out of those instabilities she had had, even as a child. Her mind wandered back to the present, balancing precariously as she lifted up her foot to inspect the damage. Lizzy grimaced as she sighted an unsightly grey scuff mark, along the side of one of her newly purchased expensive black suede high-heels.

"Hey Lizzy?" said a loud voice in front of her. Lizzy yelped in fright, and in doing so, toppled backwards from the one foot she was balancing on, landing with a heavy thud on the pavement.

"Whoa! Hey, are you OK?" Lizzy looked up slowly, through the wisps of black hair that had fallen over her eyes, to see Janie standing over her.

"Fine." she muttered, terribly embarrassed as crowds of passer-bys stopped to stare at her. "Really, I'm fine." She scrambled to her feet, with the help of Janie.

"I got out a little early, so I thought I'd try and meet you instead. So, tell me, how'd the interview go?"

"OK, I guess." Lizzy replied vaguely.

"Oh. That bad, huh?"

"What? No..well, it...I don't know. Oh God, I feel stupid."

"Hey, hey, come on Liz." Janie sounded concerned. "Let me take you somewhere real nice. Expensive. On me." Janie took her hand.

"I don't know, Janie..."

"Oh, come on, Lizzy. You sound like you need to talk." Lizzy sighed. Janie could be very persuasive.

"OK." she agreed reluctantly. And true to her word, less than 10 minutes later, Lizzy found herself seated in a very posh restaurant called "The Flaming Truffle", wondering how on earth Janie was supposed to be able to afford a place like this, and desperately hoping no-one would notice the very conspicuous ladder in her tights!

"Lizzy, what's wrong? You've been so withdrawn lately. Is this about Mickey?"

"No. I haven't even thought about Mickey." Lizzy replied.

"Some other guy then?" Janie inquired.

Lizzy frowned slightly, "You could say that." Janie studied her suspiciously. "Oh God." she said at last. "Please tell me this isn't about Charles."

Lizzy almost laughed out loud. "Charles?! Are you serious? After everything he did to me? Charles?! Believe me, the guy's ancient history."

Janie let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Well, good. I'm really glad to hear it." Lizzy was quiet for a moment, her fingers playing with her napkin. "You know, being in that interview today, it made me realize something really important. That, although I've always felt in charge of my life, even more so now I'm away from Charles, there is still a part of me that just feels so lost and alone. I was like a child in that room. Somehow, I just needed somebody to be there with me, making me laugh, assuring me that I was not alone, giving me the strength I needed." Here she looked up. "Janie, I really miss him."

"Mickey?" Janie asked in surprise.

"No." Lizzy replied. "Fred."

"Fred? Who's Fred?"

"Drop Dead Fred." Lizzy lowered her voice, feeling that she was somehow uttering sacred words.

Janie stared at Lizzy in disbelief. "Drop Dead Fred." she repeated slowly. "The same Drop Dead Fred that sank my houseboat; that cut your hair off and drove you nuts?"

"...Who earned you a colossal insurance claim; who made me realize the power my mother had over me and saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life." Janie hesitated. "Well, if you put it that way, I suppose...oh, for heaven's sake, Lizzy, you cannot be serious!"

"I'm totally serious. Fred was the one who made me realize what Charles was really like, the only one who really understood me. Who knew my own feelings, what was in my heart, sometimes even before I did. I miss him, and...I'd really like him back."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down a second." Janie interrupted. "OK, you told me that when Fred finally...disappeared, it was because he told you that you didn't need him anymore."

"I know, I know he did. It's just...up until that moment, I never realized how much Fred meant to me. OK, so maybe I didn't really need him as such, but I felt like I needed him in a different way. Janie, he just looked so different then. His eyes. I've noticed it a couple of times before, and thought that I had imagined it but...It's like he was looking at me in a different way and it felt so...intense. And…when we kissed…"

Janie raised her eyebrows, then leaned back in her chair, inspecting her friend carefully.

"Lizzy, I think I know what you're saying, but I'm not sure I like it. Personally, I think this is your mind's way of telling you you're ready for a new relationship. Now, I'm sure Drop Dead Fred was incredibly vivid to you, and he did some really crazy stuff, yet at the same time, you have to look at this from my point of view. As far as everyone else is concerned, he doesn't exist. Lizzy, he doesn't exist." Lizzy looked in desperation at her friend. "But he did. He did. He..." She trailed off when she saw Janie's fixed expression. "...Didn't really exist. Not really." Then added. "But he was real to me."

"Lizzy." Janie said in a warning tone.

Elizabeth sighed. She knew her friend was right. But at the same time, she would give anything to see Drop Dead Fred again. At that moment, the waiter arrived with their orders. Both Lizzy and Janie had ordered peppered steak, vegetables, and a large Caesar salad between the two of them.

"Here we are. Enjoy your meal." He smiled, simpering at the two women. Lizzy politely smiled back as a steak was placed before her and a large plastic bowl containing a vast salad was placed in the middle of the table. Yet, no sooner had the salad been placed on the table when a very strange thing happened. It took merely an instant of a second. It was like an explosion, the force of which threw Lizzy back in her chair. Somehow, the contents of the salad bowl suddenly flew into the air. Pieces of cucumber, tomato and lettuce spattered in all directions, much of which landed in the laps of those sitting nearby. A slice of tomato hit a woman smack in the middle of her forehead. A piece of lettuce landed on the floor, making a passing waiter slip and the large silver platter of hors d’oeuvres he was carrying come crashing to the ground. The rest, well, it was everywhere! On the floor, the tables, in people's hair. But most amusing of all, the clear plastic bowl in which the salad had rested, having flown into the air along with its contents, turning over and over, it finally came to a rest...over the head of the waiter. His eyes peered in shock through the plastic as the bowl continued to spin wildly on his head. He resembled a rather odd looking astronaut. Silence filled the room. No-one dared to move. No-one dared to speak. The entire restaurant was soundless. Then, slowly, gradually, as the full impact of what had happened began to sink in, Lizzy started to laugh. She laughed louder and harder, holding her sides. The entire restaurant turned to look at her. Then, Janie began to snigger. The waiter's angry face darkened and glared at Elizabeth from under his "helmet". Lizzy caught sight of him and laughed even harder. At last, he reached up, casting the bowl from his head where it fell with a loud crash on to the floor, and marched off, tight-lipped and looking very red in the face. A general murmur rose once more, intermingled with Lizzy's helpless laughter, as, calmly, restaurant patrons began to brush bits of salad from their clothes and hair. At last Lizzy had her laughter under control, and she looked straight at Janie.

"You were saying?" she quipped.

The key jangled in the lock as Lizzy opened and then closed the door carefully behind her. Taking off her jacket, she smoothed it down, then hung it on the row of hooks to the left of the doorway. She quickly glanced in the mirror, checking her hair and make-up to ensure that it looked OK. Unfortunately the laddered tights were now far worse, and it looked like her other shoe would need re-heeling. Yet she smiled. Her reflection smiled back. Elizabeth was practically tingling with excitement. There was hardly an instant of doubt in her mind that Fred had been behind the earlier shenanigans in the crowded restaurant. It was incredible how so many of the customers had taken the peculiar happenings in their stride. Many passed it off as some elaborate practical joke. Others looked to some form of natural phenomena. As for Lizzy? She had resolved to look no further than Drop Dead Fred. She remembered Janie’s incredulous expression, as she reluctantly confessed to now believing in Fred, albeit not completely. After all, as Janie pointed out, if this had been Fred’s handiwork, how come he hadn't shown himself to Lizzy in the restaurant? There had been no sign of him, which wasn't like Fred at all! Even Lizzy admitted to finding this puzzling. However, this could simply just be part of the joke. Elizabeth stood still and silent, listening. Fred had to be here, hiding somewhere, getting ready to jump out and scare her half to death. Well, she was ready. And, in fact, she was going to go and find him! That would foil his little plan, wouldn't it? Elizabeth smiled mischievously. Then, carefully, she began to move around her apartment, opening cupboards, peering behind doors, looking under furniture. This went on for quite some time. Finally, Elizabeth believed she had searched everywhere, and ascertained that Drop Dead Fred was nowhere to be found. A wave of disappointment washed over her. She began to doubt whether the scene in the restaurant had had anything to do with Fred at all. Elizabeth Cronin was alone again. With a sinking heart, she wandered into her bedroom, and sat down on the bed, heavily. She breathed a huge sigh, and looked about her, uncertain what to do now. Her eye rested on the jack-in-the-box, sitting on the bedside table. She reached over and picked it up, turning it over in her hands once more, tenderly stroking the smooth wooden sides. Putting it to one side, rising listlessly to her feet, she strode over to the full length mirror on the other side of the room. She inspected her appearance once more, the torn tights, the scuffed shoes. Eyes resting on her face, she frowned.

"Lizzy, you're a fool." she said out loud. At that moment, something very strange began to happen. The surface of the mirror began to contort. Or was it Lizzy herself who was beginning to alter? She felt as though she were looking in one of those special mirrors in fairground fun houses. Suddenly, her face was huge, her body tiny, her feet enormous. It altered again, and in a flash, her face was tiny, her eyes protruding violently. Lizzy stared in shock at the reflection before her. Her hands flew to her face, and in the mirror, her hands were gnarled and withered. She could see the bones protruding through the skin. Lizzy let out a shriek and jumped backwards. The mirror resembled a pool of water, and rippled, until Lizzy could no longer see a reflection, just shafts of light bouncing off the mirror in all directions. It did indeed resemble silver liquid of some sort, continuously moving. Elizabeth watched in amazement. All of a sudden, the "waters" seemed to part. They bubbled, and gurgled, and then...Drop Dead Fred rose into view, emerging from the mirror! Arms outstretched, he practically glided from the reflective surface, floating across the room, towards Lizzy. He was smiling, and Lizzy was overcome with joy to see him. He came to a rest in front of her, as behind him the mirror became normal once more, and Elizabeth, still caught in the moment, threw her arms around him.

"Fred! Oh, Fred! It's you! You're back!" she exclaimed breathlessly, planting kisses all over his face. Fred seemed to relent for a moment. Then he began to struggle, prising himself from her grip.

"Ugh! UGGH! Get off me, you girl!" he exclaimed, releasing himself at last. He jumped back a few steps. "UGH!" he exclaimed, even louder, wiping his face with both hands, where Lizzy had kissed him. "You've probably given me headlice, or some other horrible, girly disease, that would make me THROW UP all over you!!"

Elizabeth sat down on the bed. She smiled. Still the same old Fred!

"Yes, I'm sorry about that." she said, slightly embarrassed.

"I should think so." Fred went on, clearly not really angry. "Can't have you turning me into a girl!" Elizabeth ignored this, and went on. "It's so good to see you!" Fred looked bashful. "So, it was you, then? Back at the restaurant? Why didn't you show yourself to me?"

"Wanted to make a grand entrance, didn't I? Anyway, did you HEAR some of those conversations in the restaurant! What a bunch of stupid lumps of snot!" Here, Fred tried to look snooty and upper class, dancing about in front of Lizzy. "Oh, we've just had a new pool fitted! Oh, and the driveway next to the lower terrace has just been resurfaced!" he mimicked, in an over-the-top, high-class accent. "Well, how about you try to resurface this fist up your arse, you stupid tosser!"

Elizabeth giggled. She was happy Fred was back in her life, and back to his old tricks. How could life be dull now he was back?

"That was quite an entrance!" she replied in earnest. "Back then with the mirror and everything? How did you do that?"

Fred smiled proudly "Did I scare you, snotface?" he asked, teasingly.

"Oh, no." Lizzy replied. Fred's face fell.

"I mean, yes. Yes! Of course you scared me."

Drop Dead Fred's smile returned. "You might say this is the new and improved Drop Dead Fred." he explained, spreading his arms demonstratively and bobbing a little bow. "New powers, new magic..."

"Same old boring pranks." Elizabeth faked a yawn. She loved to tease him. And it worked.

"Why, you...!" Fred made a spring, and landed in front of her. Grasping her wrists, he began to wrestle her down onto the bed. Elizabeth yelped, and giggled, as Fred tried to force her down. She managed to free her hands and tickled him. Fred squirmed, and wriggled, at last grabbing her hands once more, pushing them behind her head, lying on top of her.

"Say you're sorry!" he cried.

"No!" Lizzy exclaimed.

"Say it!"

"Never!"

"Surrender!" Fred held both her wrists in one hand, and with his other hand, tickled her under her arms. Lizzy roared with laughter. She felt like a kid again, when she and Fred used to have playfights. Although the odds were a little more in her favor now that she was bigger. Fred was still tickling her, and she began to lose the battle.

"All right! All right! I surrender! I surrender! Your pranks are the epitome of originality!"

Fred stopped tickling her and released her arms. "Thank you." he replied. Then added. "My pranks are what?"

Elizabeth laughed. "Never mind." she panted. She and Fred lay together, breathless. Then, Lizzy looked up and saw Fred was looking right into her eyes. His face was almost touching hers. She stared back. Their faces began to move nearer, their lips met. At that moment, Fred jumped back, and to his feet.

"Well, I sure showed you, huh?" he exclaimed, his back to Lizzy. His voice sounded rather forced, emotional. Slowly, Elizabeth sat upright again on the bed. Drop Dead Fred finally turned to look at her.

"Oh my God, what are you wearing!? You look worse than the Megabitch!"

"I...I was at an interview." Lizzy stumbled, still out of breath. Then she realized something. "Fred, you were in the restaurant all that time? Were you listening when I was..."

"No I mean your stupid tights, and stupid shoes. You look like a rat's been eating through them!"

"Oh, what do you mean? You always exaggerate. It does not look as though..." Here Elizabeth broke off and gave a cry of fright. For now, as large as life, a big black rat was crawling up her leg. Lizzy froze. As it reached her thigh she screamed.

"GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" she shrieked. And no sooner had she said these words. the rat quite literally vanished. Lizzy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, what did you think of that?" Drop Dead Fred asked, proudly. "That scared you, didn't it?" Lizzy waited for her breathing to return to normal.

"Yes." she replied, trying to sound calmer than she felt. "That did scare me. In fact Fred, that scared the shit out of me!"

"Ha ha! I knew it! It's one of my new powers. I can make things appear and disappear, but what is fantastic is that it isn't just you who can see them!"

"Fred, why are you here?" Lizzy asked.

Fred stared at her in surprise. "Why am I here? What kind of stupid question is that? Why am I always here? I'm here for you. To cheer you up. Make you happy. To help you."

Lizzy arched her eyebrows at the last comment, but went on. "How long are you staying?"

Here Fred softened slightly and looked at her seriously. "For as long as you need me." Elizabeth's smile returned.

Drop Dead Fred's broke into a mischievous grin. "Anyway, let's not waste any time. We've gotta start having some fun! Come on!"

"Where'd you wanna go?" Lizzy asked.

"Somewhere where there are loads of stupid people that I can try my powers out on!" came the reply. Fred was looking excited, and Lizzy smiled in spite of herself. She loved seeing Fred posing and showing off. Although this was practically how he behaved all the time.

"You don't need me for that." she replied warily. "I thought we could do things together." Drop Dead Fred stared at her in surprise and alarm.

"But you're coming aren't you?" He was actually looking worried. He stood in front of her, holding her hands in his. "Please, snotface, it's no fun without you, you've gotta come. I want you to be there. To see the looks on their faces."

It was Elizabeth's turn to break into a mischievous smile. "OK." she agreed. "YEAH!!" Fred cheered.

"How 'bout the mall?" Lizzy suggested sneakily.

"Perfect!" Fred was delighted.

"OK. I gotta go change first."

Fred knew his cue. "Righto. Hurry up, snotface. 'Cause this is gonna be GREAT!" And he vanished in a green haze.

Elizabeth slowly shook her head, still looking at the place where he had been standing.

"Drop Dead Fred." she muttered, still smiling "You can be quite charming when you want to be." And she headed for the bathroom, as Fred, standing invisible in the corner of the room, gave a smile of genuine sentiment.

"Will you stop that?" Elizabeth asked, poking Fred in the ribs with her finger. They were walking arm in arm in the crowded shopping centre. At least they were, most of the time. Fred kept disappearing and materializing behind her, tapping her on the shoulder and making her turn around, before disappearing so that when Lizzy looked there was no-one there. Drop Dead Fred laughed carelessly, as he hung by her side once more. He skipped, and jumped, and hopscotched his way along, making Lizzy giggle at his antics. Fred suddenly skidded to a halt, and put his arm across Lizzy's path to stop her walking. "Look, snotface! Look what that man's doing!"

Standing directly opposite them on the other side of the road, was a man wearing a sandwich board and ringing a bell. He was evidently collecting for a church group. At least that's what he was supposed to be doing. It was obvious that the man in question was blind drunk. He was staggering around, getting in everyone's way, and yelling at the top of his voice about the threat of damnation which was sure to strike everyone down if they did not contribute to his cause.

"Oh no." Lizzy said wearily.

"What's he wearing?! What a girl!" exclaimed Fred.

"Has he been hit by a bus or something? He looks like a domino." He flashed a grin at Lizzy. "And I'm gonna make him fall down!"

"Fred," Lizzy began, in warning tones.

"Oh, come on snotface, it'll be fun!" And with that he scampered across the road to the man. Elizabeth followed reluctantly. She had forgotten what a prankster Fred could be. And he was so unpredictable. She never knew what he was going to do next. And she didn't have long to wait, either.

"Repent!" the man was saying. "Re-re-p-pent! The e-end...the...is...i...n-nigh!" He slurred painfully.

"He needs coolling off." Fred murmured. Elizabeth stood next to him, as he waggled his fingers at the man. Suddenly, a big black cloud appeared over the guy's head. It settled into the shape of a raincloud, and Lizzy gasped as she saw bolts of lightning and rumbles of thunder emitting from within. The man stopped talking. He froze, looking up slowly, as without warning, the cloud let rip. Heavy rain began to fall on him, and only him. His own personal cloud. He tried to move away from the stream, but the cloud followed. He was soon drenched, and pale with shock, he took off yelping down the street, as the cloud pursued keeping perfect pace, continuously raining, as crowds of people stared after him in amazement. Drop Dead Fred dusted off his hands, making magnanimous bows to those around him, who could not see him, of course. Lizzy watched in amazement, as she came and stood beside him.

"That was...pretty amazing, Fred." She hardly knew what to say.

"Yes, I know. I've been wanting to try that one out for a while."

Poor Lizzy was quite beside herself. "But how...how did you? When? How come...?"

Fred shrugged. "Sky's the limit, snotface." he told her. Lizzy found her voice at last.

"How come you could never do these things before?" she asked him.

Fred opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again, as if reconsidering. "You might call it a promotion." he said after a pause. He looked serious. "And there are limits. For instance, I'm not allowed to do anything that might actually, physically injure...Which doesn't mean I can't have plenty of fun simply scaring the pants off somebody!" And with that Lizzy smiled. Fred was right. Drop Dead Fred strode away from the crowd. Lizzy followed, forgetting that she was visible, stepping off the curb without looking and straight into the path of an oncoming car. She froze in fright as the vehicle screeched to a halt. The angry driver popped his head out of the window.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you stupid bitch! You wanna get yourself killed?!"

"I"m sorry...I.." Elizabeth faltered, but the man continued to hurl abuse from the window.

"Hey! No-one talks to my best friend like that, pissface!" Drop Dead Fred was by her side once more, and Lizzy instinctively took his arm. "I'll show you!" Fred waggled his fingers at the car, and the electric window began to slide upwards, trapping the man's head. The man struggled and cursed, but he couldn't get free. With another wave of Fred's fingers, the handbrake was released. The engine revved and the car took off down the street, bouncing over other cars, with the man still cursing and struggling. It shot around the corner and was out of sight, with the same crowds looking on, who had been amazed to see a magic raincloud, and were now equally gobsmacked to witness a levitating car!

"Thanks, Fred." Lizzy stood on the pavement, her arm linked with his. "But Fred, I thought you said you weren't allowed to physically injure a person."

"Oh, don't worry about him." Fred tilted his head in the direction that the man had disappeared into. "He'll be fine, I turned the magic off as soon as he was out of sight. If the prat had got hurt, he'd of deserved it! Thinks he can get away with speaking to my Lizzy like that?" Fred realized what he'd said and looked a little embarrassed, as Lizzy turned to look at him. "I...I mean" He put his arm around her. "You are feeling better, aren't you?" he asked gingerly, his face close to hers. Elizabeth nodded.

She was certainly feeling in better spirits than the morning.

"Right. Tag!! you're it!" and with that Fred took off down the street, into the mall. "Catch me if you can!" he called cheerfully over his shoulder. Elizabeth dashed after him, calling his name but also enjoying the chase. Fred weaved in and out of the crowded shoppers, with Lizzy in hot pursuit. She panted, and stumbled a little, but was managing to keep up. Sometimes people turned to look at her. A patrolling security guard gave her an odd look. But Elizabeth kept on running. At last she saw Fred standing a few feet in front of her, his back turned. She crept up behind him, and grabbed his shoulder.

"Ha, ha!! Got you!!" she cried. The tall, green-suited man spun round in surprise. It took Elizabeth only an instant of a second to realize that it wasn't him. "Oh, I'm sorry." Lizzy gasped, terribly embarrassed. "I thought you were somebody else."

"Evidently." The man sniffed, walking off quickly. Lizzy stood there, feeling inadequate. A second later, she began to giggle at her mistake, thinking at the same time that she had often never been able to laugh at herself in the past. Laughter mingled with her own, quickly suppressed. Elizabeth whipped her head round, looking left and right. She knew Fred was nearby. Then looking up, she saw him, and began to laugh harder. Drop Dead Fred was trying very hard to disguise himself as a mannequin in the window opposite her, and was not really succeeding, as he kept losing his balance. He saw Lizzy and waved crazily. She waved back, and beckoned. Fred gave her a thumbs up, then looked to left and right for a way out of the display. Then seeing none, he shrugged at Lizzy, and took a step backwards, putting his head down. Lizzy realized what he was about to do. She began to wave her hands about, to try to attract his attention, mouthing "No", over and over. But Drop Dead Fred did not see, as a moment later, he brought his full weight backwards, then heaved himself forwards. There was a tremendous smash as Fred headbutted the glass and the entire window was shattered in an instant. Showers of glass hit the floor, as Fred, dusting himself off, emerged from the scene, and rejoined Elizabeth.

"I love those breaking noises." He exclaimed with glee. But Lizzy was not amused. By now, she was tapping her foot, impatiently, her arms akimbo.

"Fred," she said wearily. "You couldn't have maybe found another way of getting out of there, rather than smashing the whole thing to pieces?"

Fred shrugged. "Not my fault. Forgot how I got in."

Lizzy rolled her eyes. "Come on." She said, "Let's get out of here, before something else happens. Think I've seen enough magic for one day." And Lizzy began to walk quickly towards the exit. Still walking forwards, she looked back to ensure Fred was following and collided with someone in front of her.

"Whoa! Hey!" someone said.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Lizzy said quickly before looking up.

"Oh, that's all right." It was a man's voice. "Could have happened to anyone, if only -- why -- Ms. Cronin!"

Lizzy looked up at the mention of her name, to see a dark-haired, bespectacled man standing before her. He was in his early thirties, wearing a suit and a long, grey mac, and Lizzy recognized him instantly, as one of the people who had interviewed her earlier that day.

"Oh. Hi." Lizzy grit her teeth awkwardly, hoping this little incident wouldn't impede her chances for the position.

"Who's this turd?" Drop Dead Fred was standing behind him, looking at him with a look of utter distaste.

"I'm Kyle Shipman, remember? Head buyer in marketing, for the department?" he said, shaking Lizzy warmly by the hand.

"Shitman!" Fred exploded. He flashed a look at Lizzy. "See? Told you he was a turd!"

Lizzy tried not to snigger. She smiled. "Yes, of course. It's nice to see you again, Mr. Turd." Her face crumpled in embarrassment. The man looked a little puzzled "I mean, Mr. Shipman." She laughed awkwardly, hoping that any minute now the ground would open up and swallow her!

The man took off his glasses and began to polish them absentmindedly with his sleeve.

"Please, call me Kyle." Was all he said. "And, please allow me to tell you that, well, that, I was really impressed with your profile, Ms. Cronin. Apart from these last three months, your working record appears to be virtually unblemished."

Elizabeth wasn't sure what to say. "Er, thank you, Mr...Kyle. I just wanted you to know that I know it may seem like my career has had a few ups and downs recently. It's just I've recently broken up with someone, and I wasn't working whilst we were together. "And" Here she blushed. "I know I was kind of... asked to leave my last job, but I feel sure that my former boss will give you a good report of my services. It...was a bad day for me, back then. A bad week in fact."

Elizabeth looked at Fred. "But it got better." She finished. Drop Dead Fred winked at her, and grimaced at Kyle.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that." Kyle replied sympathetically, "And although it's not just up to me, I think I can safely tell you that we will be giving your application serious consideration over the next few days."

"Oh, thank you so much." Lizzy exclaimed gratefully.

"I really want an opportunity to start all over, and show myself to be a truly dedicated person, someone who really commits themselves to the task in hand, and sets about it with gusto and feeling."

Kyle smiled. "that's good to know. I hope we"ll bump into each other again, soon. Really soon." He looked at her intently for a moment, and Elizabeth smiled.

"Very nice seeing you again." She replied, taking his hand. "Well, goodbye."

"Bye." Kyle replied, and somewhat regretfully released her hand.

Elizabeth began to walk off. "Elizabeth?"

Lizzy flipped her head round.

"Could we maybe get together for lunch sometime?" Kyle asked, a little bashfully.

Lizzy nodded. "That would be real nice, thank you."

"I'll call you." And with that he walked off, with Lizzy looking after him.

"Thank God, I'd thought he'd never leave!" said a voice. Lizzy blinked, releasing Fred had been beside her the whole time. "So, head buyer, eh? Whose heads does he buy?"

Lizzy ignored this remark. "If only I'd said some of those things during the interview." She remarked, partly to herself.

"Why didn't you?" Fred asked her.

"I couldn't." Lizzy replied.

"Why not?"

Lizzy turned to look at him. "You weren't there."

Two days later, Elizabeth opened the door to her apartment, setting her new leather briefcase down in its appointed place. Closing the door quickly behind her, she carefully hung her new long black coat on a hanger, and gave herself a quick look in the mirror, admiring her swish navy high-heels and charcoal trouser suit. Entering her room, she flopped onto the bed and let out a long sigh of contentment.

"So how was it?"

Elizabeth made an effort not to look surprised, to find Drop Dead Fred lying beside her.

"Hey Fred." She said happily, "It went really well. I still can't believe it. I"m a junior assistant buyer, me, Lizzy Cronin. And if the job will be anything like this first day, I just know I can do this." She exclaimed with glee, stretching her arms..

"So, do you get to sever heads?" Fred grinned wickedly. "Like that poo-head we met in the mall?"

"He's a head buyer." Lizzy explained patiently. "That means he's the head of the department. He's my boss." She turned to look at him. "And he's not a poo-head. He's really nice, actually."

"Yeah, right." Fred shrugged, uncomfortably. Lizzy looked at him.

"Where've you been, anyway. I haven't seen you around these last couple of days."

Drop Dead Fred brightened. "And you've missed me?"

Elizabeth thought for a moment. "Well yes in a way."

"Oh, thank you very much, snotface. Thought I meant a little more to you than that!" Fred replied sulkily.

Lizzy turned on her side, to look at him. "Of course you do." She said, feeling a little emotional. "Fred, you mean the world to me. And I'm so glad you're back. I mean, when you went away, and I thought I'd never see you again, it made me feel really sad. And now I have you back" She tried to touch his face, but Fred moved away, awkwardly.

"Oh PLEESE! I think I'm going to be sick! Spare me the girly sentiment, snotface."

Elizabeth looked a little sheepish. "Well, I'm very sorry. I thought you'd want to know the truth, Fred."

Drop Dead Fred still looked uncomfortable. "Where've you been anyway?" he asked, trying to change the subject. "I would have been home sooner, only I went to meet Janie. She told me she had something really exciting to tell me. And I told her I had something really exciting to tell her, namely about you." Here she looked at him, and Fred smiled happily. Then Lizzy looked a little crestfallen. "But she didn't believe me, or at least didn't hear me. She wanted to tell me that she's met someone. A guy called David. He's her new boyfriend."

Fred, unusually perceptive, noticed the change in her voice. He rolled over on his side to look at her.

"What's the matter?" he asked, quietly.

Lizzy sighed wistfully, "It's just kind of got me thinking. I...I feel as though I"m never, ever gonna meet someone. A man." She looked up at Fred. Fred just shook his head, and sighed patiently. "Look, snotface, do you remember that day... that day when you decided to leave Charles?"

"Yes, of course. How could I forget? that's when you disappeared." She recalled, a little painfully.

"And what was the last thing I said to you?" Fred asked.

"Kiss me." Lizzy replied, instantly.

Drop Dead Fred looked a little confused. "No. I mean...well, maybe not the very last thing I said to you. I said, "You have yourself now". And that's all you'll ever need, snotface. You don't need a man. You make it happen for yourself. And one day," Fred struggled to speak. "You'll meet someone, who'll see how wonderful, and bright, and cheerful and fun you are." He finished. "And you know it."

Elizabeth broke into a smile. She moved a little nearer to Fred, and touched his cheek. This time Fred did not move away.

"You can be really sweet, on occasion." She whispered Fred smiled back.

"You just got me on a bad day." He replied, touching her face affectionately. "But the very last thing you said was more memorable."

They lingered for a moment. Then Fred rolled onto his back once more. Lizzy yawned, then unconsciously, she moved over, and set her head on Fred's chest, her arm draped over him. Fred looked a little surprised, and frowned a little. Lizzy yawned once more and shut her eyes.

"Elizabeth?" Fred began.

"Mmm?" Lizzy replied, sleepily.

Fred opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and shut it again. "Good night, snotface." Was all he said. Lizzy smiled in her sleep. "Mmm. Good night, Fred." She murmured.

Drop Dead Fred lay there, with Lizzy on his chest, uncertain what to do. He looked down and saw her sleeping so peacefully, he didn't have the heart to move her. A wicked idea crossed his mind, and he reached a finger to his nose to smear whatever he found there on her cheek. Then she really would be snotface, he thought. But somehow, he just couldn't do it, and put his hand down again. Carefully, so as not to wake her, he planted an affectionate kiss on her forehead, and smoothed her hair. He paused a moment, then, he slipped an arm around her shoulders. Stirring in her sleep, Lizzy pulled herself closer to him. Drop Dead Fred sighed, and closed his eyes, letting the side of his face rest on her forehead. In a moment, he was asleep. And the two of them lay there together, unconscious of the rest of the world, united in their slumbers.

The solid pine doorframe was painted white to match the rest of the neat, minimalist upholstery in Elizabeth's sparce yet upmarket New York apartment. The white wood rose to kiss the high ceiling, and looked much like all the other doorframes in Lizzy's flat. This one in question harboured the door to her bedroom which now stood open in the twilight that filtered through a gap in the almost closed, blue curtains. And the sound it made was surprisingly hollow when Drop Dead Fred slammed his head into it. Over and over, four times, five times just to make sure, the top of his scalp, loose tufts of orange hair slapping him in the face and stinging his eyes as he did so. "Come on!" he cried, accenting every slam through gritted teeth. "Pull yourself together. What's the matter with you?" These words he voiced in his head. "You're Drop Dead Fred! Drop Dead Fred! Drop Dead Fred! Fred! Good old Fred! Fr..."

"Fred?" Elizabeth's gentle voice, made gentler since it was subdued with sleep. Drop Dead Fred stood upright, tight-lipped. For one of the first times in his life, he had absolutely no idea what to do. Lizzy hadn't seen him yet, as she was still lying in bed, stretching and yawning like a cat, sighing contentedly. "Fred?" she remarked again, still seeing nothing. Still expecting me to be lying there beside you, Fred thought. Well, what did she expect? He was Drop Dead Fred, a loner, a... He couldn't quite find the words to describe who or what he was. Did she think he actually wanted to lie beside her all night, his arm around her, watching her breathe in and out, transfixed by her beautiful, childlike face?

"OH STOP IT!" he exclaimed out loud. He made contact with the doorframe one more time for good measure, before deciding that it would probably be best to vanish to avoid talking to her for now, to avoid letting her know that over the course of time the nature of his feelings for her had begun to change. He caught himself thinking this, and shuddered involuntarily, simultaneously evaporating in a murky green cloud.

"Fred!" Lizzy finally sat upright, wide-awake now and looking all about her like a frightened child. She could feel something was not quite right and it worried her. Near the doorway, she could swear she saw wisps of green smoke wafting near the ceiling, but dismissed this when they seemed to vanish in the instant that she had noticed them. Shrugging, she rose to dress.

Ever since she was four years old, Lizzy had wanted to know where it was Drop Dead Fred went when he disappeared.

"What's it look like?" the little girl would ask sweetly. "Do you walk around the clouds, Fred and get to drop things on people's heads?" She giggled wickedly.

And Fred would grin ominously, and say "The place I go to, snotface? It is amazing." Little Lizzy's eyes widened with glee. Fred's face broke into a fiendish smile. "It is amazing the kind of things I can get away with!" he finished menacingly, and Lizzy sniggered. "A place where Drop Dead Fred is king, and can do whatever I like. Unlike here of course, where I have to spend my time hanging around with boring old you!" Lizzy smiled, good-naturedly. "Will you take me there someday, Fred? Pleeese?" she chimed.

Fred tutted with mock doubt. "I dunno, snotface. Not sure if You're cool and hip enough to fight the dark army of triple-headed Megabeasts that I have to battle on a daily basis."

"Yes I would!!" Lizzy crossed her short arms, and stuck out her bottom lip indignantly.

Fred was cheered by that memory. It was one of the last times he had seen her, before Polly trapped him in that box, banishing him from Lizzy's memory for what might have been forever. Elizabeth had always envisaged a kind of celestial limbo that Fred dwelled in. She couldn't be further from the truth. It was a place Fred called home, but he was bound by rules which had to be obeyed. It was a place to recharge, a place without substance, but not without limitations. Perhaps it did not really exist at all, since none of its inhabitants knew when or how this "limbo" as they called it had first originated. Fred liked to believe it was the product of a warped imagination. Everything floated, even the people. Logic and gravity were not an issue. There were buildings, if you could call them buildings. After all, what other skyscrapers were fashioned by light, perpetually floated and consisted entirely of doors. Thousands of them in fact. Maybe millions. All of them were entrances into a child's world. Children from every city, every country, every continent around the globe. The doors varied in colour and texture, so that the buildings themselves were quite beautiful. The buildings shifted in their locations. The streets floated too, and so did the people. Lots of them. People like Fred. Seen on Earth as imaginary friends, viewed in limbo as the chosen ones, the guides. Perhaps even, the guardian angels. They entered doors, or simply disappeared, materialising on Earth and into a child's life. Drop Dead Fred trotted down a yellow street with no real purpose. His head bowed, he was so deep in thought he did not notice someone directly in front of him.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, bumping someone in the back. The man turned round.

"Hey, Fred!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Oh, hi Velcrohead." Said Fred brightly. "What you doing here? I thought you were with that snotty-nosed kid from Milwaukee."

Velcrohead pulled one of his ears off and stuck it in the middle of his forehead. "Nah, she grew up Fred. Decided she didn't need me anymore and 'poof!' I vanish and reappear here." He cocked his thumb sideways "The 'powers that be' have got me on the waiting list for a new host, but it's early days yet. So how's life on Earth? Last I heard you were on a special case. Helping out some kid with a bitch of a mother."

"Old news,Velcrohead old mate." Fred said lightly.

"She was hardly a kid, though. Had a husband and everything."

"A husband?"Velcrohead looked very surprised. "That was an exceptional case then. So, you on the waiting list too?"

Fred looked a little embarrassed. "Well, no, actually. I'm still with Lizzy."

"Still?" Velcrohead raised his eyebrows. Literally. He took them off one by one and held them over his head. "Gee Fred, you have been spending a lot of time with her."

Fred sighed. "There are still a few problems. I'm worried, that is, to say, I'm worried that I'm, or might possibly be, that I'm..I'm..."

Velcrohead noticed Fred's gravity, "Hey lighten up, Freddy. What's the matter with you? I heard you got some new powers. I got one too, watch." Here Velcrohead pulled out his eyeballs, one by one and stuck them to his knees. Then he removed both his ears and stuck one on opposite sides of his knee caps. He danced up and down. Fred managed a weak smile, feeling that his trip to limbo hadn't made him feel a bit better about his situation.

"Hey Cath, any messages?" Lizzy asked the elderly secretary who was perched in a swivel chair behind the reception desk, where there were four phones...

"Oh hello dear," said Cath inspecting Lizzy over the rim of her spectacles, and giving her a friendly smile. When she noticed that Elizabeth was looking at her expectantly, she added good-naturedly, "Did you want something?"

Lizzy patiently repeated her request.

"Oh, yes. Someone rang. A woman. Her name was -- no -- wait -- no, I've got it. Er, Jane somebody. Or was it Janine?" Cath muttered.

"Janie?" Elizabeth suggested.

"Yes, that's it. Inquired if you were free for lunch, I said you'd call."

"I see. Anything else?" Lizzy asked brightly.

Cath looked blank for a moment. Then her face cleared. "Oh yes, there was. Mr Shipman wanted to see you first thing in his office. If he's not there, he asked if you'd wait for him."

Elizabeth looked a little worried. What did her boss want to talk to her about. The last boss that asked to see her, gave her her notice. "Thanks, Cath." She murmured distractedly, and sauntered away. A phone rang, but Lizzy was too distracted to notice Cath take four tries to pick up the right receiver.

Elizabeth knocked on the appropriate door. When there was no answer, she tried the handle and it opened. Peering cautiously inside, she ascertained it was empty and strolled in. She walked up to the large desk next to the window, and ran a hand over the smooth mahogany finish. She began to play absentmindedly with the Newton's Cradle, watching the shiny metal balls swing back and forth, hitting each other with a sharp, satisfying click. She sighed. Then, "Fred?" she ventured. "Fred, where are you?" She looked around, and groaned as she noticed she had left the door wide open. Anyone who happened to be passing at that moment would have heard her call out Fred's name. Walking over she made to close it, then gasped as the door suddenly swung to, the wind rustling her fringe.

"HELLO!" Drop Dead Fred cried, appearing slouched in the chair behind the desk.. Lizzy spun around to face him "Like my new trick?"

"If you mean frightening the life out of me, Fred, that's an old one." Lizzy panted.

He waggled his fingers demonstratively. "Levitation." he emphasised.

He leaned back in the chair, rested his feet on a corner of the desk, and stuck his hands behind his head, taking in the office.

"Not bad." He remarked approvingly. "Perhaps a little too tidy. And boring. But I'm sure we could find a way to fix that." He added with a fiendish glint in his eye.

"Please Fred, not this time." Lizzy pleaded. "This isn't even my office. I'm waiting for Kyle."

"*Oh, I see. Old poo-head has got you waiting for him, has he?" Fred grimaced. "Well, let's find something to do whilst You're waiting. Like TRASH THIS PLACE! Fred sprang from the chair and landed perfectly on his feet on the desk.

"No, Fred, PLEASE!" Lizzy cried, then ducked out the way as Fred did a somersault in the air, landed upright on the floor, but not before stumbling against an unnoticed table in the corner, upsetting a vase of flowers in the process. SMASH! And SPLASH! As both flowers and vase fell to the floor. Fred looked satisfactorily at the dark wet mark he had made on the pale brown carpet, and the sharp shards of ceramic scattered about. His look of satisfaction turned to alarm. He stared at the carpet and then at Lizzy. "Oh no." he exclaimed.

"Gladiolas!" Lizzy finished, in a gasp as she started to sneeze. She panted, breathing sharply, as Fred braced himself, shutting his eyes tight, his hands on the sides of his head.

"ACHOO!" Fred yelped as he flew across the room, bouncing off walls and ceilings, coming to a rest flat on his face on the carpet in front of the door. "Fred, are you OK?" Lizzy asked tentatively, trying to help him to his feet.

"Course I'm all right."

"You know I'm still not entirely sure why that happens, when you go flying across the room like that."

Drop Dead Fred was on his feet by now, with Lizzy in front of him. He started to speak, when all of a sudden, the door opened very sharply, striking Fred in the back who was standing with his back to it. Arms flailing, Fred fell forwards, right on top of Elizabeth, onto the floor. Lizzy was speechless as she found herself nose-to-nose with Fred and face-to-face with her boss who had chosen that moment to enter. Alarmed was not the word when Kyle found her lying on the floor.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed.

"Er -- Hi." Lizzy stammered. Fred pulled a face as she pushed him off of her. Kyle looked confused.

"Did I, er -- Did I -- hit you with the door?"

"Er -- Yeah, that was it." Lizzy replied, hoisting herself onto her elbows. Kyle helped her to her feet.

"Wow, you must have been standing awfully close to it." Kyle went on, shaking his head. Lizzy smiled, embarrassed. She caught sight of the spilled vase, as Kyle followed her gaze and noticed it also. She coughed. "Um, I'm really sorry about that Mr Shipman. I was looking at the flowers and I must have knocked them and..." She had a flash of inspiration. "And I was just going to get something to clean it up, when you came in, which was why I was so close to the door, Sir." She finished. Standing in the corner, Fred looked impressed. Kyle scratched his head. "Oh, that's OK." He said mildly. "Could've happened to anyone, I guess."

"Oh, that's nothing!" scoffed Fred. "You should've seen what we did to Grandma Bunce. She was washing yellow poster paint out of her knickers for a week!" Lizzy sniggered involuntarily. Then coughed to cover her mistake.

"Anyway, Miss Cronin," Kyle began, sounding important.

"About why I wanted to see you."

Lizzy began to feel nervous. She stepped casually over to Fred and took his arm.

"Yes?" she said expectantly. "Don't leave me!" she snapped to Fred as he tried to move.

"What?" Kyle asked.

"Nothing."Lizzy said feebly. "Didn't say a word, honest!"

"I've been meaning to talk to you for sometime, ever since you started a week ago. There's, well, there's something that you need to, shall we say, work on."

"Snotface," said a strained voice. "You're hurting me. Snotface?"

"Yes?" Lizzy asked through gritted teeth.

Kyle's face suddenly broke into a broad grin. "Your memory. I asked you out, remember? And you said yes as I recall."

Lizzy laughed with relief.

"So what did you think of my big scary boss routine. Asking you into my office, to have a serious talk with you about something?"

"Inspired!" Lizzy exclaimed. "How am I going to forgive you for that?"

"By agreeing to go to lunch with me today of course." Kyle said with a smile.

Lizzy smiled. "I'd be delighted." She made to go towards him, but couldn't. She tried again. Then she established the reason why.

"Fred." She whispered. "Fred, let me go now, OK? OK? Fred. Fred!"

"Everything OK?" Kyle asked who had just retrieved his jacket. He saw Lizzy's hand smack to her side suddenly as if it were an elastic band that had just been released. He frowned. Lizzy shook her head quickly. "I'm OK." She replied, flashing an evil look at Fred who stared back sulkily. Lizzy thus replaced Fred's arm for that of Kyle's who led her out of the office, leaving Fred looking on in silence.

“Go away!” she hissed to Fred who stood on her other side as she and Kyle entered the restaurant.

“Come on, let’s get out of here!” Fred replied.

“What?” Kyle asked Lizzy.

“Oh, er, never mind.” She looked at Fred. “Go away!” she repeated.

“Oh now you want me to go away? You were the one who wanted me back, may I remind you!” Fred exclaimed indignantly. Kyle slipped Lizzy’s jacket from her shoulders and went to hang it up on a nearby coatstand. Fred hastily waved his hand at it, sending the entire row of coatstands crashing down like a row of dominoes, and narrowly avoiding Kyle.

“Missed!” Fred was distinctly disappointed. Everyone in the restaurant turned to look. Blushing madly, Lizzy bent to help Kyle pick up the contents of all five stands as one of the waitresses gave them a horrible look. Fred looked around, his attention distracted by a violinist who was serenading a group of diners.

“Oh, cool! Look, a violin! Remember that shopping mall, when I…” He started to go towards the muscician.

“Excuse me a minute, Kyle.” Lizzy stood up, grabbed Fred’s sleeve and pulled him into a corner.

“That is enough!” she hissed, trying not to draw attention to herself. “You get out of here right now!”

“OK. Just say the magic words and I’ll piss off!” he replied.

Lizzy paused. “I’m not falling for that one again! Look, just go! I don’t need you now, OK?!”</

“Oh, now we get to it!” Fred exclaimed huffily. “You don’t need me now, you want me to get lost!”

“We’ll discuss it later, right now…”

“I am not at your beck and call, snotface! I come and go as I please, I’M DROP DEAD…”

“Fine, just be Drop Dead Fred somewhere else, I’m having lunch!”

And with that she sauntered back to Kyle, who had just finished re-stocking the stands. Fred saw him offer her his arm and escort her to a table. Not once did she turn and look at him. Fred felt a pang of resentment, accompanied by a twinge of jealousy. His emotions disturbed him, but instead of storming over to Lizzy and telling her exactly what he thought of her, he found himself storming out of the restaurant instead. He stomped along the street, scuffing the pavement, hands dug deep into his pockets. The nerve of her! This was the thanks he got, her asking…no, forget asking! Her telling him to leave! He glanced towards the road.

Where’s a fire-truck when you need one? he thought. Still walking, an attractive blonde approached Fred from the opposite direction. She was wearing a short skirt and a tight blouse, unbuttoned to her cleavage. Barely looking up, Fred gave her a light shove with his hand as he passed. She immediately fell backwards into a hole some workman had been digging in the road to investigate a burst pipe. Splash! When she stood up, she was waist deep in dirty water and caked in mud from head to toe. She spluttered and gasped in shock.

Fred walked on. “Hi Annabella.” He muttered, as a scarlet-faced Annabella was unceremoniously lifted from the hole by two burly workman, both ogling her now transparent blouse.

“Oh, I’m sorry I…Fred!” Velcrohead exclaimed in surprise. “Man, what are you doing sitting in the middle of the path like that, I damn near tripped over you!”

“Sorry Velcro.” Fred murmured in reply.

Velcro shook his head and squatted down beside him. “Freddy, this is the second time I’ve seen you like this. What gives?”

Fred sighed and rose to his feet. The ground was unsteady beneath him, but given that the ground was perpetually shifting he was undisturbed.

“I just can’t face going back right now. One minute she wants me back, the next she never wants to see me again! One minute she’s laughing with me, next minute she’s shouting at me! I never seem to be able to please her!” He clenched his hands into fists. “Everything I do, I do for her and what thanks do I get? None whatsoever.”

Velcrohead patted Fred on the arm in sympathy. “Listen to you. It’s a thankless job, Freddy. You know that. We’re their friends for as long as they need us. After that we get blinked out of their existence. Not so much as a pat on the back, acknowledgement of a job well done before bam! Onto the next case.”

Fred shook his head. “Elizabeth is different. She’s not a child anymore, so it’s not a question of waiting for her to ‘grow out’ of having an imaginary friend, she’s already a grown up.” His face darkened. “Sometimes it just makes me so angry being with her.” He exclaimed “But you know what makes me more angry, not being with her!” Drop Dead Fred froze as he realised what he had just said. Velcrohead fumbled with his ears before they dropped to the ground and bounced. Coughing awkwardly, he stooped and picked them up. As he straightened, Fred could not fail to miss the shock behind his eyes. When he spoke, his tone was unusually serious.

“Don’t go there, Fred.” He said quietly. “I don’t have to remind you what happens when imaginary friends like us get too close to our hosts. The consequences of that are…”

“I know, I know. You don’t have to tell me Velcrohead, I’m familiar with the procedure.”

“The punishment, Fred.” Velcrohead went white with fear as he said the words.

Fred walked towards the tower of doors that were bobbing next to him. He levelled himself with a bright green one with gleaming panels and reached a finger towards it. The surface responded to his touch, shimmering. One of the panels became partially transparent. It revealed a view of Lizzy, seen from above, just walking up her front path . “I know.” Was all he said as he gazed.

Lizzy waltzed through the door of her apartment, shutting it loudly behind her.

“Fred.” She said loudly. “Fred, we have to talk.” She wandered into the bedroom and opened the wardrobe, slipping her jacket onto a hanger and stepping out of her shoes.

“Fred!” she exclaimed impatiently. “Fred, I know you’re here. Somewhere. And frankly, I’m not in the mood for games. This is serious. I want to talk to you about what happened this afternoon.” She stood, hands on hips, listening. The only sound she could hear was her own breathing. A wicked plan began to form in her mind and she smiled slyly. Deliberately slowly she entered the kitchen and opened a drawer. With one hand, she casually removed a small screw-top jar which she opened. Tipping it up a single, small object plopped into her cupped hand. She held it between her finger and thumb. It glinted, like a small, green gem. She raised it above her head and pushed the drawer shut once more with her free hand.

“Fred, if you don’t appear in exactly five seconds, I am taking the last pill! Yes, the last pill!” She wandered over to a cupboard and removed a glass which she filled with water from the sink.

“Look!” she exclaimed, addressing the emptiness, glass in one hand, pill in the other. “I’m gonna do it unless you appear right now. 1…2…3…” She turned about the room as she spoke, scanning the place with her eyes.

“4…5…” Still nothing. “Right, that’s it!” She slipped the pill into her mouth.

“NO! WAIT! I’M HERE!” Drop Dead Fred was suddenly standing right behind her. Elizabeth was so startled the capsule got lodged in her throat. Her hand flew to her neck and she began to make choking noises.

“Oh shit!” Fred cried, waving his arms in alarm. “Oh God! Snotface, whatever you do, don’t swallow!” He moved behind her and slapped her hard on the back. She continued to choke, although the glass of water now fell to the ground with a splash. Trying desperately not to panic, Fred flailed about the room, his arms moving like windmills. Suddenly, he seemed to seize on something. Holding his hand before him, he clicked his fingers. A bunch of gladiolas appeared. He thrust them under Lizzy’s noise, prompting her to let fly a loud sneeze. The pill was ejected from Lizzy’s windpipe and flew across the room, along with Fred. She gasped and breathed air and stood for a moment panting. Fred slouched against the wall where he had landed, eyes closed in relief. At last he stood up and moved towards her.

“Thanks Fred, you saved my life!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, well, thanks for almost obliterating mine!” Fred retorted. “What did you mean by pulling a stunt like that? There were other ways to get my attention, you know. Plus, I can’t believe you actually kept that horrid thing instead of flushing it straight down the bog where it belongs!”

“I did!” Lizzy panted, still slightly breathless. “That was only aspirin.” She smirked slightly.

The truth dawned on Fred that he had been duped.

“It would have been funnier if I hadn’t nearly then choked to death, and whose fault was that?” she went on.

“Me?”

“Yes, you!” she replied. “Frightening the hell out of me, as usual! You’re completely insane! Out of control!” She became angrier when she saw that Fred looked flattered. “I must be mad to think I wanted you back!” she continued in her rage. “So, why did you?!” Fred retorted. “Because, excuse me if I’m intruding here,” he went on sarcastically, “But I had some stupid idea that you really needed me!”

“I did!”

“For what?”

“Because…because…I…”

“Go on, say it! I want to hear it!”

“Because…you’re my best friend!” She finished, feebly.

Fred sighed. “Look, this guy…what’s his name…Mr Turd…”

“HIS NAME IS KYLE!” Lizzy exploded. “KYLE SHIPMAN! KYLE SHIPMAN!”

“Whatever!” Fred replied. “He’s not the answer to your prayers, you know.”

“Well, how exactly am I supposed to find that out if you won’t even let me get to know the guy. The minute a man comes into my life, you throw a coatstand at them. And, if it’s not a coatstand, it’s something else! Spaghetti, maybe!” She finished, thinking of Mickey.

“I don’t believe this!” Fred stormed. “Listen to yourself! The only time you feel your life is complete is when you have a man in it! What about the other night, worrying that you’ll never find someone, neglecting the fact that you’d just got yourself a new job with new prospects, friends, and the possibility of a bright future. But are you happy? No, of course you’re not happy, of course your life is going nowhere. Then along comes Mr Swanky-Pants Boss Man with his ‘Oh, let’s have lunch sometime’ and something happens in your brain that says, ‘This is it, my life is complete, I’ll just drop Dead Fred into the nearest trash can!”

"I can’t believe you’re standing there making judgements about my life! Who the hell do you think you are?!” Lizzy was furious.

“Oh, I see so…so you think you know me best?”

“I do!”

Lizzy walked up to him and looked him straight in the eye. “That doesn’t mean you know what’s best for me.” She said decisively, then turned away.

“Yes, I…” Fred retorted too quickly.

Lizzy turned on her heel. “Oh? What?” she challenged.

Something seemed to cry out inside of Fred. Go on. Tell her. Tell her!

“I…I’m…I’m…” he struggled to speak, but found he just couldn’t. Lizzy looked satisfied.

“No-one is in charge of my life but me, remember? Isn’t that what you taught me? Not Charles, not my mother…and certainly not you!” And with that she strode over to her bedroom and shut the door behind her. Fred stared at the door with a saddened look on his face. He started towards it, determined to barge in and not give her the satisfaction of having the last word but something stopped him. Sighing wearily, he put his hands in his pockets and stared down at the floor. He didn’t want to fight with Lizzy. With his snotface. His snotface, he thought in despair. Now she was pushing him away. Isn’t that what he taught her? That she’d never need anyone else, now that she had herself? To push people away, including him, Drop Dead Fred? Was it possible?

“What am I doing?” he said aloud. “What am I doing?”

“You’ve been so quiet these last couple of days.” Kyle remarked. Lizzy looked at him.

“How do you mean?” she asked.

“I’m not sure. Your mind seems to be elsewhere. Are you having a problem with something?”

“Or someone!” Elizabeth muttered.

“Excuse me?” Kyle asked, a little confused. Elizabeth sighed. Kyle smiled kindly.

“Look, why don’t you sit down. It might help if you talk about what’s bothering you.”

They were walking in the park after work. Kyle stopped by a bench and motioned for Elizabeth to sit down. She did and he perched beside her.

“Come on. Spill.” He said.

“I don’t know.” She replied uncertainly. “I don’t know if you’ll understand.”

“Try me.”

“OK.” She finally relented. “I had a fight with my best friend recently. We haven’t spoken for two days.”

“Oh.” Kyle sounded sympathetic. “This explains why you look a little down.”

“We both said some things we didn’t mean.”

“What was the fight about?”

Elizabeth sighed. “About…my life. He’s unhappy about the way I seem to be living it right now. Seems to think he knows what’s best for me.” She shook her head.

“Ah, he’s a he is he?” Kyle remarked, a knowing look on his face.

“Yes. His name’s Fred.”

He looked at her quizzically. “You two er…known each other long?”

Lizzy stared straight ahead. “We’ve been inseparable since we were children. Well, actually that’s not strictly true. My mother had some problems with our friendship. Believed Fred was a bad influence. Anyway, she…took certain precautions to ensure we didn’t see each other all the time I was growing up. I…met up with him again a few months ago, when I had separated from my husband. I wanted Charles back but he helped me to realise I was better off without him. I started seeing a new guy called Mickey and Fred…disappeared for a while. But now he’s back and I’m glad but…but…now I feel like he’s trying to control my life.”

Kyle listened, a look of decisiveness playing about his mouth. “I see. This er…this fight didn’t have anything to do with me by any chance, did it?”

Lizzy raised her eyebrows, but still didn’t look at him. “Your name did come up in conversation a couple of times.”

Kyle smiled. “Right. Well, if you want my opinion it seems obvious that this Fred guy is in love with you.”

Elizabeth whipped her head round to look at him. “What?” she exclaimed in complete shock.

“Well, from what you’ve told me, when your life is a mess, when relationships have turned sour, this guy has always been there to pick up the pieces, right?”

“Right.”

“So, is it unreasonable for Fred to want to keep some of the pieces for himself this time?”

Lizzy sat open-mouthed, shell-shocked. She finally spoke. “But, not Fred. I mean…Surely it…it can’t be possible.”

“Why not?”

Lizzy struggled to speak. “Because…because he’s Fred! He’s…”

“Look, you said Fred thought he knew what was best for you.”

“Yes.”

“What did he think was best for you?”

Lizzy thought back to the conversation. “Well, he didn’t really answer properly. He stammered a lot and said ‘I’m…I’m…’”

“Sorry, what was that? He said ‘I am’?”

“No, he said…he…Oh my God!” she looked at him. “He did say that, at least…” A stab of realisation hit her. She began to laugh. “He’s jealous!” she exclaimed. “He’s jealous! Of you, of every other guy in my life, why didn’t I see this before?”

“Who knows?” Kyle shrugged. “Possibly because you’ve never thought of him in that way. He’s always just been your good friend, Fred. Nothing more.” Elizabeth sat there, smiling and shaking her head.

“Of course,” Kyle ventured tentatively. “The only question now is, how do you feel about him?”

Lizzy’s eyes widened. Her face grew determined. She looked at Kyle for a moment. Then leaned her face close to his…and kissed him quickly on the cheek. Kyle was a little surprised.

“Thanks Kyle!” she said, rising to her feet. “I’ve gotta go now.”

“I guess so.” He replied.

“See you tomorrow.” And she scampered away across the park. As he watched her go, Kyle wondered at her child-like agility. He leant back on the bench, staring up at the evening sky. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“That Fred’s a lucky guy.” He thought.

Elizabeth could hardly wait to get home. It was a fair way from the park but she walked with a spring in her step. And as she walked, she asked the same question in her mind, over and over. Was it possible? Did Drop Dead Fred return her feelings? At last home was in sight. She hurried up the front path, through the door, mounted the stairs and ran the rest of the way. Fumbling for her keys she opened the lock and swung open the door wide.

“Fred!” She exclaimed loudly. “Fred! It’s me, I’m home!” She swung the door shut, dropped her bag to the floor and ran through the house, pushing open doors, calling his name. “Fred, please, I have to talk to you!” Nothing. No reply. For the next twenty minutes Lizzy ran through her house, calling Fred by name, begging him to appear. At last, exhausted, she strolled into the lounge and collapsed onto the sofa. Her energy ebbed away, and she felt a slow sad disappointment. Wearily, she leaned forward and put her head in her hands.

“Fred. I’m sorry, all right? I’m sorry about what I said. Please. Where are you? I want to see you. No fighting, I promise.” Silence. One minute. Two minutes. Then, a flicker, and…

“What do you want?”

Elizabeth looked up. Drop Dead Fred was seated in the armchair across from her, a hardened expression on his face.

Surprise and relief wrapped itself around Lizzy like a blanket. She acknowledged him with a look of contentment.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Fred’s expression softened ever so slightly. The eyes became less condemning.

Elizabeth moved a little closer towards him.

“Fred, there’s something I have to know. Something I need to know.”

Fred knit his eyebrows together. “About what?” he asked, sounding confused.

“About you. Well, about me …About you and me.”

Fred sighed. “Look, I understand. If you want me out of your life…”

“No!” Lizzy exclaimed, rising to her feet. They looked at each other for a moment in silence. At last Lizzy spoke.

“Look, Fred. There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. Kyle and I have been talking and I’ve come to realise something…”

“Snotface, if you have to tell me that you and Kyle…”

“Fred, I know. I know how you feel about me.”

Fred froze. For once, he was lost for words.

“It’s true isn’t it?” She went on gently. “You have feelings for me. That’s what you were trying to tell me the other day. I’m sorry, I should have known…”

“Whoa! Hold on a moment!” Fred sprang to his feet. “You…you don’t…I mean, you don’t…not…” He began to back away as he struggled to speak. Elizabeth moved towards him slowly. “Fred, it’s OK. You don’t have to be afraid, because for a while now, whenever I look at you or even think about you…”

“Lizzy, don’t!” Fred exclaimed, his back against the wall. “Please. You don’t know what you’re asking me. I couldn’t, I can’t, I…” All this time Lizzy was moving closer towards him.

“Fred, please. I need to know the truth. Do you have feelings for me?”

Fred turned his head away slightly, not wanting to meet her eyes. She waited.

“Do you?” she repeated patiently. Silence. Tears began to prick Lizzy’s eyes. She swallowed and kept them back. Still Fred would not look at her. A single tear dripped onto Elizabeth’s cheek.

“OK.” She said. “That’s fine.” She turned away, emotional. A moment later, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to face him. Drop Dead Fred was acknowledging her with a look in his beautiful blue eyes that seemed entirely new to her. The hand was still on her shoulder. It moved to caress her cheek; arrested a tear in midflow with its finger.

“Let’s play a game.” Fred whispered. Elizabeth stared, mesmorised.

“What kind of a game?” she breathed.

“One we’ve never played before. It’s a game that only grown ups play. And we’re grown ups now, remember?” His hand gently cupped her cheek. “Although, I’m not entirely sure of the rules.”

“OK.” She replied. “What do I have to do?”

Fred smiled. A warm, engaging smile. “Just kiss me.” He said. Elizabeth flashed back to their former departure. She waited for Fred to continue.

“And?” she said expectantly.

Fred acknowledged her with a look of intensity. “And?” he echoed her. Lizzy realised what he was saying. Slowly, she moved towards him and touched his cheek. She closed her eyes and their lips met. They kissed. It seemed to go on for a long time. Still kissing, she wrapped her arms tightly around him. Despite feeling a little awkward, Fred finally wrapped his arms around her. They kissed again, and again. Fred ran his fingers through her hair. Lizzy moved her hands down his back. Suddenly, Fred pulled away.

“I can’t do this.” He exclaimed breathlessly, Lizzy still entwined in his arms.

“Why not, I want you to!” she breathed passionately.

“I’m gonna get in so much trouble!”

“With who?”

“With them.” Fred motioned upwards with his head. Lizzy touched his hair and kissed him quickly before he had a chance to pull away. She met his eyes. “Fred, I think I love you.” She whispered.

Fred stared at her, filled with adoration. In that instant, he knew. Nothing else mattered. As for the ‘powers that be’…

“Oh, sod it!” Fred murmured. Their lips met once more and he kissed her passionately. Still in each others arms they moved towards the bedroom, entered and dropped down together onto the bed. They kissed again. Quickly, Fred fluttered the fingers of his left hand in the direction of the bedroom door. Obediently, the door swung to and closed with a satisfying click.

“He’s WHAT?! Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“And he’s familiar with the rules?”

“Of course! We all are!”

“And yet he deliberately chose to violate them?”

“Yes.”

“…Of his own freewill?”

“It would appear so.”

There was a thoughtful pause. Then, “He’s with her right now?”

“Yes. They are…together.”

The speaker sighed. “Not for long.” He said sadly, and shook his head in despair. “Not for long.”

It was a house. It was the house. Elizabeth’s house where she had lived under the thumb of her mother for so many years. It looked exactly the same, just as he remembered it: the sparkling white wooden panelling, the tall front door with its brass knocker. Even the window boxes with their obsessively tidy flower arrangements, for even the freedom of nature could not escape the dominating power of the Megabeast. He shook his head in disbelief. He had told her to use her imagination, when she had in fact conjured up reality. But still, he calmly reached forward, opened the door and stepped inside. One look told him he had underestimated her imaginative abilities. This looked nothing like Polly’s house! Elizabeth was standing in the centre of the room, staring at an image of Charles, grinning at her confidently from behind the wheel of a sparking red convertible. She looked up as he entered. He felt his face light up as he saw her and he waved and shouted hello. Elizabeth immediately came over and took his arm, clearly frightened.

‘So, what are you going to do about him?” he asked as they both contemplated her cheating husband. Lizzy’s eyes focused on the gaudy hood ornament that adorned the protruding front of the car. It looked like a miniature, disfigured and monstrous effigy of Charles. The corners of her mouth twitched as she seemed to seize upon an idea. She reached forward and grabbed the grotesque figure. Air immediately began to hiss from the gaping hole that was left. The car began to deflate like a balloon, as though the blown-up, embellished image of Charles that Lizzy had always carried in her mind was finally dispersing. It became smaller and smaller as the air rushed out of it until it disappeared altogether. Once it had gone, only the hideous version of Charles remained which Lizzy still held in her hand. It was carefully prised from her grip and discarded.

‘Couldn’t have done better, myself!” he congratulated her. Lizzy looked pleased. She turned to him, her face filled with joy.

“Oh Fred!” She exclaimed, taking him in her arms. “I’m free! Now we can be together! Don’t ever leave me!”

“I won’t, I promise! Oh Snotface!” He embraced her tightly and they kissed.

Drop Dead Fred opened his eyes slowly, reluctant to push the pleasant dream from his mind. It hadn’t happened that way of course. Once he had helped Lizzy free herself from her inner demons, they had said their goodbyes and Lizzy had found herself in the welcoming arms of Mickey Bunce. But it didn’t mean that he hadn’t wanted to stay with her. Fred yawned and stretched with contentment. Lizzy’s bed was warm and comfortable. He leaned over to look at her. She was lying on her side, her medium length hair strewn about her face in the throes of sleep. Fred smoothed her hair, pushing the stray wisps behind her ears. She stirred slightly and seemed to smile in her slumber. He watched her. As he lay there he waited for the full realisation of what he had done to hit him. But no. He had no regrets, no guilt over what had happened. He had wanted it to happen. Why kid himself? He had wanted it to happen ever since he re-appeared in her life. And it finally had. The only emotion Fred could experience was a calm happiness and a feeling of complete confidence. He knew what had to be done. He would stay here. Stay here with Lizzy. Not go back to limbo - what for anyway? Everything he wanted was right here. It was so simple! Laughing to himself, Fred quickly pulled on his clothes, being careful not to wake Elizabeth. He decided he liked watching her sleep. Staring at her, oblivious to everything. So much so, he failed to notice the surface of the mirror behind him begin to change shape. It became liquid. It churned and shifted, formed waves with white crests, became fiercer. Drop Dead Fred caught sight of the mirror out of the corner of his eye. He froze involuntarily, paralysed with fear. He dared not turn around but waited, as terror seized him. All was quiet for a moment. The mirror still waved and bubbled. Then, suddenly, Fred felt something or someone grasp him from behind. A hand clutched his neck, choking him. Gasping, Fred’s hand flew to his throat. He could hardly breathe. Another hand darted from the mirror, and seized his arm, wrenching him backwards. Panicking, Fred struggled violently against the awesome strength of the restricting hands. His eyes began to water as he fought for air. His free hand flailed about, knocking the jack-in-the-box from where it had been placed on the nightstand to the floor. He reached towards Lizzy who was still fast asleep and unaware of all this. His hand opened and closed feebly. He tried to shout her name but when he opened his mouth, no noise came out, merely a strangled gasp and the hand on his neck tightened in its vice-like grip. Fred refused to give up. He kicked and struggled, but to no avail. With a last desperate effort, Fred gripped the edge of the bedclothes and began to pull. Lizzy began to stir. Just then, a third hand suddenly darted forth from the mirror and seized Fred’s free arm. He was pulled backwards away from the bed, his heels dragging against the carpet, and then yanked forcefully into the mirror. The surface became calm. Elizabeth sat up, rubbing her eyes, just in time to see the mirror surface shift slightly one last time. She blinked and looked again. Everything was normal. She looked around. Nothing. Looking down she noticed the jack-in-the-box lying on its side on the floor. Puzzled, she bent and picked it up, holding it in her hands. She felt an inexplicable fear surge through her.

“Fred?” she ventured tentatively. But all was quiet.

He was in a dark place. Darker than Drop Dead Fred had ever seen before. At least it seemed that way to him, it was difficult to remember properly. He was confused and trying to think was making his head hurt. He was crouched in a heap, cramped and hot, his limbs were almost numb. Where on earth was he? Taking a deep breath, he tried to stand up. He got about halfway before the top of his head slammed into something hard and metallic. He crouched back down again quickly, noticing simultaneously the rather disconcerting sound of metal scraping against metal. Fred moved his right hand down. His left hand followed suit. His wrists were strapped together with something. Fred was incredulous as he ascertained that his ankles were similarly fastened, with heavy chains. Struggling forwards a few inches, Fred’s knees came sharply into contact with cold metal. Feeling around, his fingers clenched around something cold and tubular. He wriggled over to the other side and felt more of them. Moving around, he realised they were on all sides of him. Bars! Steel bars! He was in a cage! Trapped like a common animal. Fred was scared, but most of all he was angry. Who had put him in this cage? How dare they treat him this way, he was Drop Dead Fred!

“Hello?” he shouted to the darkness. “Whoever you are, let me out of here! Hello!” His voice echoed all around him. He realised he must be in some kind of void. A cave, perhaps, judging by the quality of the echo. Fred scraped his chains along the bars of the cage back and forth, and continued to shout in indignation. Finally, after what seemed like forever, a loud click echoed through the cave and light flooded the room. Drop Dead Fred covered his eyes against the brilliance of the beams. Spotlights were trained directly on him. At last, his eyes adjusted to the light and using his hands to shield his view slightly, Fred was finally able to look around him. The first thing he realised was that the small cage he was in was exactly square and the bars shone like well-polished chrome. He could see his surprised expression reflected off the shiny surfaces around him. The second thing he realised was that the ground was at some considerable distance beneath him and that the cage was somehow suspended in the air. Looking up awkwardly, Fred noticed the ceiling was roughly the same distance from the cage as the ground had been. Most astonishing of all was that nothing was supporting the cage! It merely hovered, unmoving, exactly centred between floor and ceiling. The spotlights that illuminated him also floated. From their brilliance, Fred found it difficult to see anything further than a few feet in front of him. Yet, he was vaguely aware of the vastness of the room, with its spotless white walls, and also of an object in front and below him that looked like a long, wooden table. Seated behind the table were three figures, but Fred could not see their faces, nor ascertain much about their clothing. They seemed to be wearing long green robes and looked very impressive and serious. Fred swallowed hard. The silence of the room was almost unbearable. The beam of two of the lights was shortened slightly, and Fred was able to see the three figures a little more clearly. Two men and one woman, he decided. The middle one seemed older than the rest and that much more serious, judging by what Fred could see of his expression. Seeming to notice Fred’s gaze, the figure rose majestically to his feet and carefully removed his cowl. Fred noticed he had long white hair reaching almost to his knees and a white beard of a similar length. His small beady eyes, majestic nose adorned with reading glasses and fixed expression denoted a sense of formidable authority. His movements were quick, bird-like and fiercely attentive. His bright eyes flashed and focused on Fred’s face. Fred began to tremble involuntarily. He was heartily ashamed of himself for feeling so scared. His anxiety increased as the figure drew breath and began to speak.

“DROP…DEAD…FRED.”

A snort of laughter erupted from Fred’s nose, finally giving way to a bout of uncontrollable giggling. His fear was forgotten as he indulged in his unrestrained laughter.

The figure paused. “Does something amuse you?”

Fred managed to hold himself together for a moment. “Amuse me? Amuse me? I’m being interrogated by Mickey Mouse!” Before erupting into even louder laughter. And it was true. As the formidable figure had opened his mouth to speak, Fred had been doubled over with laughter, for the voice that could be heard was neither deep nor booming as Fred had anticipated but high-pitched and squeaking. Like that of a small mouse! “SILENCE!” screeched the indignant speaker. Fred cupped his hands to his mouth, though his shoulders still shook with uncontrollable laughter. His laughter came to an abrupt halt when he felt a severe bolt of pain shoot through him. He clutched his stomach, simultaneously realising that he had felt pain like this before. When Lizzy had been taking the pills to make him disappear.

“As I was saying,” the speaker took off his glasses and began to polish them with his sleeve. “Drop Dead Fred, have you any idea why you have been brought before us today?”

“Yes, ‘brought’ being the operative word here.” Fred tugged at his restraints. “I mean, not so much as an invitation! I’m dragged away, and put into this cage, for what? To wait for your voice to break?”

The speaker closed his eyes and a pained look crossed his features. “You mean to tell me, that you have no idea why you have been brought before us? To the highest limbo council, I might add (in the faint hope that you might learn to address me with more respect)?”

“No to all of the above.” Fred waved his hand away, dismissively. “Pray, enlighten me, Mighty Mouse.”

“Judge Templeton, to you!” the second, younger figure stood up angrily. A second bolt of pain shot through Fred and he doubled over once more.

“Peace, friend.” Judge Templeton replied, gesturing for the man beside him to sit down, which he did, slowly, never taking his eyes off of Drop Dead Fred, his face a picture of disgust. Fred said nothing more, but waited to see what would happen next. The judge consulted a pile of luminous green papers which floated before him. The only sound that could be heard in the room was the rustling of the sheets. At last, he spoke again.

“It has come to our attention, me and my two colleagues, that you have become rather… close to your present assignment. Rather…attached shall we say.”

Fred stared back, his face expressionless.

“I need not inform you of the severity of your crime, I’m sure you are already aware of that.”

Fred gripped the bars of his cage tightly. Despite the pain he had felt, he was not one to be shaken too easily. “My crime? My crime?” The chains scraped against the bars as he spoke. “I have committed no crime, other than being a loyal and sympathetic friend to Elizabeth Cronin.” He exclaimed. “When she needs me, I’m there for her. She needed me last night, and I was there for her. For me to have abandoned her, denied my true feelings for her, or lied to her,maybe. That would have been the crime!”

“So you admit it?” the second figure spoke once more.

Drop Dead Fred acknowledged him with a look. “Yes, I admit it. I adore her. I’ve been her friend ever since she was a little girl, how could I not be fond of her after all these years? What kind of friend would that make me, imaginary or not?”

“But Fred,” the third figure, a woman, spoke now. “We have rules. They are there for a reason. You have violated them. You let yourself get too close, get too involved. You’re a part of Elizabeth Cronin’s life now, and that is not how it should be. So, tell me, how is she ever to let you go now? How is she to look into the future without seeing you as an inevitable part of it?”

Fred rested his head on a corner of the cage, and mumbled something incoherent.

“What was that?” Templeton asked.

His head jerked upwards, “I said, if you’re trying to get me to admit to being sorry for what I’ve done, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you.” He spoke out confidently. “I have no excuse for what I did, not one that you would understand anyway, and nor do I have any regrets. If I was to go back and do it again, if I were to do it a hundred times over…” Here he paused, before continuing. “I wouldn’t change a bloody thing.” He smiled in remembrance of the night before. How Lizzy had shown him a new game and one that he would remember forever. The court was silent. Judge Templeton consulted his two associates, before replying.

“I see.” He spoke slowly and deliberately. “We should have expected this from you, given your character. And I am afraid I have no alternative.” He rose to his feet again. “Your key. Give it to us.”

All of Fred’s confidence faded in a moment. “No.” he replied quickly. “You can’t take my key. You can’t…”

“I can and I will.” Came the reply. “We will take it from you now.” He reached into his robe and removed a small glittering device. It looked like a miniature wand. He pointed it in Fred’s direction.

Fred moved away from the speaker. “No, no please. Don’t.”

Templeton ignored him and continued. There was a small click. Fred gasped. A bright green light began to glow inside him, illuminating his limbs and features. Fred watched in horror as small beams of the light began to dart from his body, outwards into the room. The beams joined together, until they formed one long stream of luminous vapour. He swatted at it with his hands, but they passed straight through. He fixed the judge with a look of desperation but Templeton was stony-faced and unrelenting. The remainder of the light left his body, joined with the stream and shot across the room into the wand. Then it was gone. Fred was left panting with surprise.

“There. From now on you are completely in our control.” Templeton replaced the wand. He looked at Fred and his expression changed to one of surprise. “You know, you should really thank me.”

“Thank you?” Fred exclaimed bitterly.

“For temporarily removing your powers, so that you can’t go gallivanting off to Elizabeth Cronin and cause any more damage than you already have.”

“Cause damage? Isn’t that what I do best?” Fred snorted.

“I mean to Elizabeth herself.” The judge continued. “And you should also thank me for sparing you. Why, I could have easily held you in contempt for your indolence and uncooperation in this matter, and for that you could have faced…” Here he became very serious. “…The harshest punishment of them all, yes, you know what I’m talking about.” Fred turned pale at the mention of these words.

The judge continued. “Although more accurately perhaps, you should thank your friends.”

Fred looked up. “My friends? What have they got to do with this?”

“If it wasn’t for their statements and accounts of your almost unblemished record, you could be facing a far more severe sentence.”

Here Fred’s attention was directed to a corner of the room. And there they all were. Clumped together, in an awkward group. Velcrohead, Go-To-Hell Herman, Namby-Pamby and Graggy. All of them were looking up at Fred anxiously. Velcrohead waved hesitantly. Namby-Pamby blew him a small kiss. Fred smiled sadly.

“Oh.” The judge had been consulting his papers. Now he looked up. "One more thing. I believe your friends have pleaded on your behalf for one last favour that I am willing to grant, under agreed conditions.”

Drop Dead Fred was still focused on his friends. He could feel his heart sinking in his chest. “What’s that?” he murmured unhappily.

Lizzy nervously poured herself her fifth cup of coffee of the day. Her hand shook involuntarily as she deposited sugar in the mug with a teaspoon and stirred it thoughtfully. She was wearing black leggings and a navy sweater and her hair was still unbrushed. Sipping reflectively, she paced up and down the room, every now and then glancing at her watch. It was almost five hours since she had woken and found Drop Dead Fred gone. Five hours since she had first started to worry that something was wrong and by now, she was almost frantic. After the first two hours had slipped by and still no sign of him, Lizzy had picked up the phone and called Janie. Luckily it was Saturday, as there was no way Lizzy would have been able to concentrate on her job. The phone rang twice and Janie had answered.

“Janie! It’s Lizzy!”

“Lizzy! What’s the matter? You sound tense.”

“I don’t know! That is, I do but, I don’t.”

“Lizzy, honey, calm down. Take a breath. Now, try to tell me what’s wrong.”

Lizzy breathed then spoke again. “It’s Fred. He’s gone. I don’t know where he is.”

Silence on the end of the phone. Then Janie began to speak. “Lizzy, please tell me that this Fred is some guy you’ve been seeing recently and not the same Drop Dead Fred you’re always going on about, who just happens to be invisible.”

“Well, actually…he is.”

“Oh Lizzy!” Janie exclaimed in despair.

“No, he’s actually both of those things, he’s Drop Dead Fred and a guy I’ve started to…see recently. You see, last night, things happened and we…well, we…you know.”

More silence.

“Janie?” Lizzy asked tentatively. “You still there?”

“Oh, I’m still here, I’m just not sure what to say and at the same time I’m hoping that I’ve somehow misheard you. You’re telling me, you and this Drop Dead Fred are…having a relationship?”

“Yes. Well, no, but…No, we are. But that’s just the problem.”

“You’re telling me!” Janie muttered.

“When we…got together, he said something about him getting into trouble with someone as a result. This morning, I woke up and he’d disappeared, which isn’t at all unusual for him, but under the present circumstances, I’m really worried about him, Jane! I haven’t seen him since. What if something’s happened to him?”

“Lizzy, um…” Janie sighed. “Look, honey, I’m really not sure what to tell you. We’ve been friends for a long time and I’ve tried to understand about this Fred guy, but listen to yourself!”

“But Janie, you do believe me, don’t you?” Lizzy asked fearfully. Janie sighed once more. “I don’t know what to believe, Lizzy.”

There was a pause. Then Janie spoke. “OK. Let’s assume for a moment that this Fred is a real guy. Now, ordinarily if you spend the night with someone and they’re not there in the morning, that is not a good sign. Very often it’s a clear sign that they want nothing more to do with you.”

Lizzy’s anxiety increased. “Is that what you think? That the reason he’s vanished is he wants nothing more to do with me?”

“Not necessarily, let’s put that to one side for a moment. Now, have you tried calling him?”

“Yes, all round the house.”

“Excuse me?”

“Calling for him, all round the house.”

“Oh, I see. Um…right. So, calling and there’s no reply. Hmm. This doesn’t look good.”

“No, it doesn’t does it!” Lizzy exclaimed in despair.

“But, at the same time, bear in mind that a) we’re not dealing with a non-imaginary guy here; b) we’re already aware of how unpredictable Fred can be and c) from what you’ve said, it seems Fred is crazy about you. Why would he up and vanish now?

“Exactly!” Lizzy replied enthusiastically. Then her face fell. “But, then again…I don’t think he ever actually said the words.”

“You mean, told you he loved you?”

“No. Oh God, he never actually said, maybe he doesn’t.”

“Lizzy,” Janie spoke again, “Do you honestly believe that? That after all you’ve been through together, and him risking some form of undefined trouble for you last night, that he doesn’t feel something for you?”

Lizzy looked up. A montage of memories flooded through her and she smiled weakly with tears in her eyes. “No. I don’t believe that at all. I believe he feels just as strongly for me as I do for him. Which is why I’m so worried! You…you don’t suppose somebody…took him.”

“What, kidnapped him?”

“Yes.”

“Any sign of a struggle?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well. I guess all you can do is wait. Wait for him, or a ransom demand.”

“You really think he’ll be back, Janie?”

“Oh, I have a feeling. Try not to worry, Liz. All you can do in this situation is wait. Wait for answers.”

Lizzy tried to smile, as she felt a glimmer of hope. “Thanks Janie. For everything. For being so understanding. I…God, I know how this must sound…”

“Hey, no problem. Remember, friends don’t have each other committed.”

“I’ll call you.

“Oh, Lizzy?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe next week, we’ll double.”

And so the conversation had ended. Three hours later, and Lizzy was still waiting. Waiting for Fred. Waiting for an answer. She ran a hand through her hair, realised she hadn’t brushed it and walked into the bedroom. Setting her coffee down on the night table, she picked up her brush and stood in front of the full-length mirror, running it carefully through the thick tresses. Her mind elsewhere, she fumbled with the brush until it fell from her grip onto the carpet. Sighing, she crouched down to retrieve it and then she noticed two almost imperceptible grooves in the carpet. She was almost certain they hadn’t been there yesterday. The grooves were about a shoulder width apart. Intrigued, Lizzy ran her hand along one of the indentations. The groove was broad but shallow. Following it with her eyes, Lizzy saw it led from the bed to the mirror, where it came to an abrupt halt. Lizzy stood up and walked the length of their path. Then, a thought struck her. She remembered the jack-in-the-box had been lying on its side when she had awoken. Could it have been knocked off during sleep? Or, could it have been knocked off during a struggle?! Lizzy’s eyes widened. Stepping over to the grooves, she put a foot on both of the marks. Then, carefully, balancing on one leg, she dug her heel in and dragged it alongside one of the grooves. It produced a near identical mark, though slightly narrower. Lizzy shook her head in dismay. It couldn’t be! And yet, it seemed that way. Wherever Fred had gone, he had not gone willingly. Something or someone had pulled him into that mirror! Tears began to fill Lizzy’s eyes.

“I have to call Janie!” She ran from the bedroom, back to the kitchen, seized the receiver and punched in Janie’s number. Holding it to her ear, squeezing back tears, Lizzy waited for Janie to answer. It rang once. No answer. Again. No answer. Again.

“Oh, come on! Come on!” she muttered impatiently. The phone continued to ring. Lizzy had her back to the room, so she did not notice a movement behind her. Suddenly, Lizzy froze and felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Slowly, hesitantly, she turned around. The phone fell from her lifeless fingers, and she flew to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Drop Dead Fred held her shoulders tightly. They stood for about a minute in each others arms. Then Lizzy drew back to look at him. She leaned forward and tried to kiss him, but he turned his head away and unwrapped her arms from around him. Lizzy was very surprised. She tried to put her arms back round but he moved away awkwardly.

“Fred! What’s wrong? Please.”

Drop Dead Fred did not reply. His attention was directed to something behind him. At last, he turned back and acknowledged Lizzy with a look of desperation.

“Fred, please. Tell me! I woke up and you weren’t here. I was so worried, I was so sure something had happened when…Fred? Are you all right?” Fred was looking behind him once more. When he turned back, Lizzy noticed for the first time how tired he looked. Weary. Nothing like his usual, energetic self.”

At last he spoke. “Listen snotface.” He coughed awkwardly, and would not meet her eyes. “I…er…I have to go.”

Lizzy blinked. “What? What do you mean, ‘go’?”

“I’m saying I have to go. Leave. Never come back.”

“No.” Lizzy exclaimed quietly. “No, you can’t go. I need you.”

Fred glanced behind him once more before speaking again. “I’m sorry, Lizzy. I have no choice. I have to go, almost immediately.”

“But, why?” her voice was almost a whisper. Fred hesitated. Lizzy spoke again. “It’s them, isn’t it? They’re making you leave, but don’t listen to them. Stay here, with me.”

“Lizzy,” Fred’s voice became a whisper. “They’re watching me. Right now.”

“You mean they’re here?” she exclaimed, looking all around. “Is that why you keep looking over your shoulder?”

“Yes.”

Lizzy nodded. “They’re letting you say goodbye to me, aren’t they?” She blinked back tears.

Fred brushed the hair away from her cheek. He seemed to forget himself for a moment, and pulled her into his arms. They held each other tightly, Lizzy’s face buried in his shoulder. Fred whispered into her ear.

“Lizzy, I don’t want to go. Believe me, I don’t. But I have no choice. If I don’t leave, I face worse punishment.”

“What could be worse than this?” Lizzy sobbed. She looked at him. “Fred, I love you.”

Fred smiled. “I know.” He held her once more. She kissed him on the cheek. There was a pause, and Fred spoke again.

“Lizzy,” he took her hand and looked her in the face. “Remember those pills you were taking? The pills to make me disappear?”

Lizzy bit her lip and looked at him sorrowfully. “I can’t believe I ever did such a thing!” she murmured.

“That doesn’t matter now.” Fred replied. “What matters is that you’ll always remember me. Never forget what I was, what I am. Keep me alive in you. Live. For me.”

Lizzy, tears still streaming from her eyes, nodded sadly. “I promise. I’ll never forget you.”

Fred smiled warmly. “Now. Think of this, as the last pill.” And he kissed her. She kissed him back as he swept the tears from her eyes. The kiss ended and they looked at each other for a moment. Then Fred began to move away. He looked at her and she met his eyes. Then he opened his mouth and said the words Elizabeth thought she’d never hear.

“I love you, Elizabeth Cronin.” He breathed.

“I love you too, Drop Dead Fred.” She replied. Fred took her hands in his and kissed them. He lowered them and began to move away from her slowly.

“Now?!” Elizabeth cried, “You’re leaving now?”

Fred looked at her in despair. “I only ever had a few minutes, Lizzy.”

“A few minutes?!” she exclaimed, half in sadness and half in anger. “A few minutes? A lifetime of friendship and that’s all they’ve given you?”

“Lizzy…”

“No, its not enough, this isn’t fair!” she raged, “I love you, Fred. And they’re taking you away from me!”

Fred looked nervously behind him. Lizzy followed his gaze. “Yes, come on then!” she shouted. “Fred, where are they? Where are they?!!” She moved about the room, swatting her hands about, sobbing in despair. Fred followed and caught her up in his arms once more, as she cried into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault!” she sobbed. Fred held her.

“No. No, Lizzy this is not your fault, none of this is your fault. There’s only one thing you have to be sorry for.”

“What’s that?” Lizzy sobbed. Fred held her still.

“For being such a great playmate. There’s no-one else I’d rather make vodka and pants-pie with.”

Lizzy managed a sound of mirth in between her tears. “I believe it was mud.” She murmured.

“For that I thank you.” Fred went on. He released Lizzy, smoothed her hair, then moved towards the bedroom. Lizzy followed close behind. Realised he was heading towards the mirror. It all came flooding back. Suddenly, she was five years old again. Her mother was wrapping masking tape around and around the jack-in-the-box with Fred inside, sealing him in. Separating them forever.

“No!” Lizzy cried to the empty air. “Please don’t take him away from me! Please don’t take him away from me!!”

Drop Dead Fred turned. He was moving in a funny way. Lizzy realised something, or someone else was making him move. He stretched out his right hand to her. She gripped it with both hands as he was moved towards the mirror. His back was to the mirror, his eyes were riveted on Lizzy. She moved with him, holding his outstretched hand, gazing helplessly into his eyes. Fred stepped one leg, then the other, into the mirror that became liquid as soon as he touched it. His eyes flashed on Lizzy’s.

I love you, he mouthed to her. I will always love you. Tears glistened behind his eyes.

I love you, too, she mouthed back. Little by little, Fred�s body began to disappear into the mirror�s surface and still the tears fell from Lizzy�s eyes. The silvery liquid began to envelop Fred�s sad but still smiling face and still Lizzy held fast to his hand. Soon, that was all that remained and Lizzy�s sobs increased. Her grip was slipping. His wrist, then his hand, then his fingertips. Finally, Lizzy lost her grip altogether and slammed into the mirror�s surface as all trace of Drop Dead Fred disappeared.

�Fred!� Lizzy batttered her fists against the surface. �Come back, please! FRED!!� All was still. Lizzy slammed her hands so hard into the free-standing mirror, she sent it flying backwards. It hit the floor with an almighty crash, sending shards of glass shattering everywhere. Lizzy looked down and saw parts of her face reflected in the broken pieces. She backed away towards the bed and automatically lay down. She turned onto her side, pulled her legs up underneath her and wept like a child.

Drop Dead Fred watched her on the monitor, a tight knot in his stomach. The young man, one of the ones who had interrogated him earlier stood beside him, also watching. He patted Fred on the back.

�You did the right thing, Fred.� He said sympathetically.

�Did I?� Fred replied, without taking his eyes off Lizzy. He closed his eyes. A single tear slipped down his cheek. He wiped it away with his sleeve. At last he turned away from the monitor. And Lizzy continued to weep.

�Lizzy, please, you have to get back out there!� Janie remarked for the umpteenth time. �It�s been five days now.� She bent down and retrieved handfuls of tissues from the floor, depositing them into the nearby wastepaper basket. As she was crouching, another screwed up tissue sailed down to join the rest. Janie looked up in exasperation. Lizzy slumped on her bed, wearing pyjamas and a sweater. No make up. Her hair was limp and dishevelled, her eyes glassy and her expression gloomy. She stared straight ahead of her, seeing nothing. Janie straightened, put her hands on her hips and acknowledged her friend with a look of despair.

�Kyle called again. He wants to know if you�ll be coming into work at all this week? He sounded really concerned, Lizzy, I think you should call him.�

Lizzy didn�t reply. She didn�t even seem to hear.

�Did you hear what I said, Lizzy? You could be out of a job!�

Elizabeth managed a shrug.

Janie sighed and sat down on a corner of the bed. �And just look at this place, it�s a mess.� She moved over to the mirror which remained shattered on the floor and prodded the pieces with the toe of her shoe.

�Leave it.� Lizzy remarked, without looking over.

Janie turned back to her. �Lizzy, please help.� She said despairingly.

�He�s gone Janie.� Was all that Lizzy said. �He�s gone and he�s not coming back. I�ve lost him. My best friend, my love, my life��

�Lizzy, I am not going to let you throw your life away on a guy, any guy.�

Elizabeth looked up. �That�s too simple.� She said. Janie listened. �A long time ago,� Lizzy went on, �A guy once said to a little girl, �You�ve got to be whatever you want to be.��

�And what�s that?� Janie asked gently.

�Happy.� Came the reply. �That�s all I ever wanted. To be happy. And I tried. But, deep down I don�t think I ever visualised being truly happy without Fred. And that�s how I feel right now, Janie. I may pick myself up, get back on my feet, work, have relationships. Go through the motions. But I�ll always feel as though I�m missing out on something. That I�ll never be completely happy.� She shook her head. �How am I supposed to deal with that?�

Janie sighed. �I understand how you feel, Lizzy. Really I do.� She leaned towards her friend. �There�s a hell of a lot of people in this world who live their lives like that, feeling unfulfilled, incomplete or regretting what�s passed them by. You have to move onwards, look forwards, not back. And ask yourself one important question.� Lizzy looked interested. �What?� she asked.

�What would Drop Dead Fred have wanted you to do? He wouldn�t have wanted you to throw your life away. Not for him. You told me yourself, he said �Live for me.� Not �Die for me�. He wants you to live, and carry on living, everyday.� Janie stopped speaking. A light flickered in Lizzy�s eyes, vague and formless. Like a candle flame in wind. Janie watched, wondering whether to nourish the flame, or give her the time to nurture it herself. Slowly, Lizzy turned and met Janie�s eyes. A smile began to envelop her features. A tiny smile, but a smile nonetheless.

Janie smiled herself. �You�ll do it then? You�ll try?� she asked warily. Lizzy nodded, her smile growing, knowing Janie was right. From now on, Elizabeth Cronin would live today and every day. She would live. For Fred.

�And call Kyle.� Janie finished.

�Don�t push your luck.� Lizzy retorted, as she hugged Janie tightly.

The whirlpool of shifting colours swirled beneath Drop Dead Fred�s gaze. It bubbled and churned like something alive. It caught the light and reflected it faithfully, illuminating Fred�s despondent features. He slouched on his side beside it, occasionally reaching out a hand, then seeming to change his mind and pulling it back quickly. He wore an expression of determination and sorrow.

�Fred!� Go-To-Hell-Herman stole up to him followed by the rest of the gang.

�Herman! Guys!� Fred made the effort to spring to his feet and the five of them danced their greeting dance, heads shaking vigorously from side to side, arms stretched out to the sides with legs apart, shouting maniacally, as each of them turned in a circle, then back to the centre.

Fred�s expression of mirth was instantly replaced by a look of mournful acceptance.

�Listen, guys, I don�t think I ever got the opportunity to thank you for what you did for me. Without you��

�Hey, it was nothing, Fred.� Graggy replied good-naturedly.

�Don�t sweat it, honey.� Namby remarked.

Despite his heavy mood, Fred smiled. He turned back to the pool, and gazed thoughtfully. His friends squatted down beside him.

�Have you done it yet?� Herman asked.

Fred shook his head, �No, not yet.�

�Why not?�

He shrugged. �It�s just�so final, you know? Once I plunge my hand into the vortex and retrieve the name of my new host, that�ll be it. I�ll know then that there�s no way back. It�ll all be over.� He sighed unhappily. Herman patted him on the arm, and Namby fixed him with one of her kindest smiles.

�We know how you feel, Fred.� Herman said. �You can�t expect to win �em all. The important thing is that we�ve made a difference in their lives. They�re a better person because of us.�

Fred raised his eyebrows.

�Yes, even Elizabeth Cronin.� Herman went on, reading his thoughts. �She�ll realise in time, if she doesn�t already, what a positive effect you�ve had on her life. She�d be a very different person if it wasn�t for you, you�ve helped to make her who she is.�

Fred tried to smile. �She may know who she is, but do I really know who I am? I�ve been a part of her life for so long now, I�m beginning to wonder what I am without her. And now, with the prospect of a new host��

�That�s what you�re afraid of?�

Fred shrugged.

�Don�t be ridiculous, Fred. You know exactly who you are.� Namby Pamby piped up. �You�re Drop Dead Fred. To us, to Elizabeth, to everyone else. You always have been. And you always will be. No matter what.�

The rest of his friends voiced their agreements, patting Fred on the back in encouragement. But Fred himself was silent, as a change crept over him. His face was aglow, his eyes lit up. His very features seemed to dance with excitement and he breathed quickly.

�What�s wrong, Fred?� Velcrohead asked, sounding concerned.

Fred broke into a smile, then a laugh and a cry of joy as he sprang to his feet and did a victory dance. His friends watched this transformation in amazement.

�No matter what! No matter what, you said, didn�t you? I�ll always be Drop Dead Fred! ALWAYS! DROP DEAD FRED!� And he practically jumped with excitement. �Thanks guys, for everything! Do you know what this means?!�

�What, Fred? Fred?� But Fred did not reply. He was sailing upwards into the mist and fog, up and up, higher and higher, shaking in anticipation. At last he reached it. One of the many floating buildings. As he approached, he slowed and drew near. Then waited patiently. After what seemed like a long time, a door opened and a small man with long white hair and a beard stepped out. Turning to close the door, his progress was halted by a green-suited arm.

�Hi!� Fred exclaimed. �Remember me? Or had you forgotten. Because I definitely remember you. Weren�t you pulling Cinderella�s coach with the other white mice?�

�Drop Dead Fred, what are you doing?� Judge Templeton squeaked indignantly.

�Oh, nothing. Just looking for my cat. Here, puss, puss, puss. Figured he might be hanging around you for some reason. You see, he has quite a passion for rodents��

�How dare you insult in this way!� the judge raged. �At the rate you�re going��

�Oh, I�m going for contempt.� Fred said decisively. �How am I doing so far?�

Templeton�s eyes flashed. �Well, you�re certainly going the right way about it.�

�How about this?� And Fred gave him a light shove which sent him sprawling. The judge scrambled to his feet, red-faced.

�Or maybe we could sing some songs first. How about a couple of choruses of �Three Blind Mice�?�

Templeton turned purple, shaking with rage.

�Or we could watch a couple of movies. Maybe, �The Rescuers�?�

�Fred, I am warning you��

�Then again, perhaps �Mousehunt� would be more to your taste.�

�DROP DEAD FRED!!� Templeton was livid. �THAT�S IT! THAT�S THE LAST STRAW! FORGET LETTING YOU OFF EASILY, FORGET GIVING YOU ANOTHER CHANCE! YOU ARE FINISHED! DO YOU HEAR ME? FINISHED! NO MORE!�

Fred smiled victoriously. �So, you�re punishing me?�

�YOU BET YOUR ASS, I�M PUNISHING YOU!� the judge railed. �THE SEVEREST ONE OF ALL!�

Fred leaned forward until he was nose to nose with the judge. �Do your worst.� He said carefully.

The judge acknowledged him with a look of utter disdain. �You realise there is no going back? This is forever.�

Fred nodded slowly.

The judge eyed him suspiciously. �Hope I won�t be making a habit of this.� He muttered. Fred grinned. Templeton reached into the folds of his cloak and removed the small silver wand he had used on Fred earlier. He closed his eyes, as Templeton touched the wand lightly to Fred�s forehead.

�I don�t know about this. It�s too soon.� Lizzy said hesitantly.

�Lizzy, the sooner you get this over with, the better. You can�t hide forever. Just think of it as killing two birds with one stone.� Janie walked beside her. Lizzy sighed. They neared the building.

�I guess you�re right.� She replied. She and Janie walked over to the double doors that led to the offices where Lizzy worked. They slid open as they approached.

�Now, look. I�m going to wait outside. I think its better if you do this alone. Just remember, be strong.�

Lizzy nodded. �OK. I�ll try.�

�Good.� Janie gave her a quick hug and moved away. Elizabeth took a deep breath and strolled into the lobby. Everything looked the same as it always had. Same old drab d�cor, polished floors, a row of lift doors to the left. Lizzy took it all in. Somehow she had expected something to be different, now that her life had changed so irreparably and she faced an uncertain future without Fred. Despite her thoughts, Lizzy was cheered by the sight of Cath sitting behind her desk, trying to talk into two phones at once. She moved over and stood beside the desk, until Cath noticed her.

�Cath.�

�Hello, dear.� Cath replied absentmindedly.

�Any messages?� Lizzy asked, half-jokingly.

Cath looked at her blankly for a moment. Then, �No, I don�t think�Oh, actually, yes, somebody was looking for you earlier. A man. Nice-looking. Young.�

�Was it Mr Shipman by any chance?� Lizzy asked, half-smiling.

�No, that wasn�t his name. Think he said his name was�Edward�No, wait, that�s not it��

Lizzy smiled and waited. �You�re sure he was looking for me, this�Edward or whatever.�

�Oh, yes. Definitely wanted you. I�m sure I wrote his name down somewhere.� Cath began to search through the piles of notelets strewn across the desk. The sliding doors parted, sending a gust of wind into the lobby which knocked half of the papers to the floor.

�Oh, no!� Cath got to her knees and began to pick them up, one by one. �It�s here somewhere. If it wasn�t Edward, maybe�maybe�Frank! No, that wasn�t it.� She didn�t look up, as Lizzy started to walk around to help her.

�Elizabeth!�

Lizzy looked up at the mention of her name. Kyle was standing there, having just wandered out of his office. �You�re here!� he sounded quite excited.

�I�m here.� Lizzy replied uncertainly.

�Come into my office.�

Lizzy followed as Kyle led her to his office and shut the door. Cath continued to pick up the papers and mutter to herself. �Let�s see, Edward�no, Frank�wait. Wait! Yes, that�s it! Fred! He said his name was Fred!� She stood up, and noticed Elizabeth had vanished. Then shrugged and sat down once more.

�Hello, Receptionist?� A smart woman in a business suit was looking down at her.

Cath looked around, behind her then to the side. �Oh, right.� She realised, and beamed at the woman.

Elizabeth stepped into Kyle�s well-lit office and he closed the door behind her. She could feel butterflies in her stomach.

�Elizabeth,� Kyle spoke her name and touched her cheek. He leaned towards her. Lizzy turned her head away at the last moment so that he kissed the side of her face instead. Kyle looked a little surprised, but moved away behind his desk. He motioned for Lizzy to sit down, which she did. He leant forward on his chair and put his hands on the desk looking at her.

�So,� he began. �Do you want to tell me now? What�s going on?�

Lizzy sighed then shrugged. �Nothing to tell, really. It�s over. I�ve been through the worst of it, and I�m starting to move on. Now I just have to figure out how to live each day with this sense of the unknown hanging over me. Like everyone else, I suppose.� She smiled weakly. Kyle looked thoughtful.

�What happened, Lizzy?� was all he said. �You used to be so happy. Everyday you would glide into this place like a breath of fresh air. And now�� he trailed off.

�I know.� She replied. �But look.� She pointed to her face and managed a broad smile. �I�m working on it.�

Kyle looked a little awkward. �Well�maybe, I can help you with that.� He turned away, embarrassed. �You know�take you out somewhere.�

Lizzy opened her mouth to speak, hearing Janie�s voice in her head.

�Kyle has something going for him that Fred will never have. He�s real, Lizzy.�

�It�s too soon.� She had said in reply. �I�m not ready.�

�Lizzy, trust me, this is exactly what you need.� Janie had said. And Lizzy had reluctantly agreed. And now the moment had come. But now what was happening? Elizabeth had started to speak, but instead of saying �Yes, I would love to go out with you.� As she had agreed to say, instead she could hear herself saying:

�I�m sorry, Kyle. You�re really sweet and I�m grateful for everything you�ve done for me, but I can�t do this. It wouldn�t be fair to you and it wouldn�t be fair to me. I think I have to do this part on my own.� She knew this was the right thing to do. Elizabeth Cronin had to learn to be herself again, however long that took. When she stood up to shake hands with Kyle, there was a new look in her eyes. Hope. Kyle noticed it, and despite his disappointment, he smiled.

�Thank you.� She said to him. �I�ll go pack up my desk and be out of here by the end of the day.�

Kyle nodded slowly. She gave him one last look, then opened the door and stepped out into the lobby. Relief swept through her, feeling for certain she had done the right thing.

�Ms Cronin?�

Lizzy turned. Kyle was catching her up.

�Mr Shipman?� she acknowledged.

�Look, um�I need to say something to you which is very important to me. I just have to get it off my chest.�

Lizzy looked concerned.

�It�s not much. Three words. But I just have to say them to you. Here. Now.�

Lizzy knew what was coming. �No, Kyle, please. Don�t. You don�t have to say anything, in fact some things are often better left unsaid.�

�Not this time.� He breathed. �I need to say this.

Lizzy took a deep breath and prepared herself. �OK.� She said at last, and waited.

Kyle, in turn, took a deep breath. Then he spoke.

�See you Monday.� He said.

Lizzy�s eyes flashed open in shock. �Wha�what?� she murmured. �You�you�re giving me my job back? After everything that�s happened?�

Kyle grinned. �Ms Cronin, I would be a fool to let you go. Not if I could be the person who could make some sort of difference in your life. And if keeping you employed means giving you that chance, then that�s all I ask.�

Lizzy broke into a smile, then a laugh of genuine pleasure. �Whatever you say, boss.� She replied, shaking him by the hand.

�Friends?� he asked tentatively.

�Friends.� She replied without hesitation. �And thanks again.�

Kyle nodded. �Anytime.� Was all he said. Giving her one last look he turned and strode back to his office. Lizzy watched to see him go, tingling with happiness. Kyle would never be what Fred had been to her, but his friendship was something that Lizzy valued. Lost in thought, she lounged against Cath�s desk. Cath was speaking on the phone, but looked up and saw Lizzy.

�Oh, Ms Cronin, did you get a chance to speak to him?�

�Yes, just now.� Lizzy replied. �Kyle�s been great.�

Cath looked confused. �No, I mean the gentleman looking for you earlier?�

Lizzy looked puzzled. �Well, if it wasn�t Kyle, then who�Oh!� Suddenly everything went dark and Lizzy gasped in surprise. It took her a moment to realise someone had covered over her eyes with their hands.

�Guess who?� a familiar voice blew warm breath into her ear. Lizzy gasped once more in disbelief. It couldn�t be! Could it? She reached up and forced the hands away from her eyes, then turned to look at him.

�Peek-a-boo!�

And there he was! Drop Dead Fred. As large as life, but looking a little different to what Lizzy had remembered. The stripy green suit had gone. Fred was dressed in brown loafers, khaki trousers and a dark green leather jacket fastened over a white T-shirt. His hair was looking a little tidier than usual. Lizzy had barely enough time to take all this in, before throwing herself into his arms.

�FRED!� was all she could exclaim. �Fred, is it really you? You�re here! You�re back!�

�Hi, snotface.�

�Oh, Fred!� and she hugged him once more, holding him tightly in case this was all a dream and at any moment Fred might vanish.

�Hey, take it easy.� Fred gasped, loosening Lizzy�s grip.

�Fred, I thought you�d gone forever. How did you come back? No, don�t tell me, this is just too wonderful! I�ve got you back, I can�t believe it!�

�Well, believe it. I always knew you�d make a�girl of me!� He scoffed. And she kissed him and hugged him once more, laughing with delight as Fred smiled happily. Over Fred�s shoulder, Lizzy saw Cath looking at her. Embarrassed, she pulled Fred towards the doors. She clutched her hands in his and looked him up and down.

�God, I�ve missed you! These last few days have just�You look different. I mean, great!� Lizzy remarked.

Fred�s expression changed slightly. �Well, er�yes. That is to say, there are one or two things about me that are different.�

�Like what?� she asked.

�Well, er��

�Lizzy!� Janie came striding through the double doors and came to stand beside Lizzy. �How�d it go?�

�Oh, pretty well.� Lizzy looked at Fred. �In fact, I have the feeling everything is going to be all right from now on.� Fred smiled at her.

�Well, great!� Janie remarked. �So�� she went on. �Aren�t you going to introduce me to your friend?�

Lizzy frowned. �What friend?� she asked.

Janie laughed. �I see, want to keep this handsome guy all to yourself, huh? Hi, I�m Janie. Lizzy�s friend. You must be Kyle.� And with that, she shook Fred warmly by the hand.

�Hi, nice to meet you.� Fred replied casually. �Lizzy�s told me a lot about you. And actually, I�m not Kyle. My name is Fred.�

Janie smiled, still shaking his hand. �I see, so you�re�oh, you�re Fred.�

Fred nodded.

�Not, er�� Here she hesitated. Then, whispered. �Drop Dead Fred?� and laughed awkwardly.

Fred laughed also. �Yes, that�s right.�

�Oh!� Janie looked suprised. �You wouldn�t believe this, Lizzy had me thinking you were invisible! I was starting to think she was nuts!� And she laughed. Fred joined in. �Anyway, Lizzy, I was thinking�Lizzy? Are you all right?�

During this whole performance, from the moment Janie had turned to speak to Fred, Lizzy had been standing staring, open-mouthed, in complete shock. Fred slid a protective arm around her. �She�s fine. Really.� He said. �She�ll be fine.�

�OK. If you say so.� Janie didn�t look convinced. �Well,� she addressed Lizzy. �Maybe now we can do that double date we talked about. I�ll go call David. Tell him to meet us for lunch. Be back in a minute.� She started to move towards the double doors again. Lizzy�s expression didn�t change.

�Oh, Janie?� Fred called. Janie turned. �I�m sorry about your houseboat.�

�Oh, that�s�That�s, um�� Janie turned away, not quite sure how to answer that one. �OK, I�ll be back.� And the doors closed behind her. Fred turned to Lizzy, and kissed her quickly on the lips. Her expression changed instantly as she snapped out of her trance.

�She�she�she saw you!� she stammered.

�Yes, you noticed that too, huh? She spoke to me as well you know.�

Lizzy looked as though she wanted to ask a dozen questions at once. �But how�how��

Fred took her hands in his. �Remember, I told you about the ultimate punishment. The one that all imaginary friends feared?�

Lizzy nodded dumbly.

�It was simple. To be stripped of one�s powers and cast out of limbo. To become mortal, and have to live in this place. It was enough to make any imaginary friend start shaking. But I had something that they didn�t. Something to help me survive in this bleak, non-magic world.�

Lizzy was stunned. �Me?� she asked. �You gave all that up, just for me?�

Fred smiled. �I realised I didn�t need my powers to be Drop Dead Fred. So long as I had you. I�m just sorry it took me so long to figure it out.�

Lizzy broke into a smile, and tears of joy filled her eyes. �But, that�s the best punishment I�ve ever heard!� And she threw her arms around him once more, laughing. Fred hugged her back.

�I love you.� She exclaimed.

�I love you too.� He replied. And over her shoulder, Fred thought he caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eye of his friends, standing together, watching him and waving. He winked at them and they were gone in an instant.

Lizzy broke the embrace. �So, what will you do? Now that you�re here, I mean. And can never go back?�

Fred shrugged. �I dunno. Maybe I can get a job in demolition? What d�you think?� Lizzy smirked.

�Well, first off,� Lizzy began.

�Yes?� Fred asked.

�I thought I�d introduce you to my mother!�

Drop Dead Fred flashed an evil grin. �YEAH! Maybe I should shut her in a box for a few years, see how she likes it!� he exclaimed. Lizzy laughed, knowing that she�d never be alone again.

�Fred? Lizzy? David�s waiting, you coming?� Janie called from the door. Still laughing, Fred offered her his pinky finger. She linked it with her own and the two of them moved towards the door. Kyle Shipman wandered from his office carrying a file under his arm. He pressed the call button on the lift. Glancing over he saw Lizzy standing laughing, her little finger linked with another man�s. He gazed at them curiously, focusing on Lizzy�s smiling face, so child-like at this moment. So filled with hope and joy. Slowly, Kyle began to smile too. Arm in arm, Lizzy and Fred strolled out into the sunshine together, with Kyle looking on in admiration.