ill answer this publicly just in case anyone also sees my Cry Posts and wonders why i make them so often:

im disabled and cant work, but the process to get on disability takes for fucking ever. my dad is on ssdi and gets a little over 1200 a month to live off. 700 of that goes to rent, the rest to bills. we don’t even have cable tv or anything like that cause we simply cannot afford it. it used to not be so bad when i was 18 and under because the state gave me 500 a month but im 27, its not been like that for a long time now, and they dont give me anything. nothing for foodshare. i’m on a thing called FA but they pay me 180 dollars every two weeks. thats 360 a month which is fucking nothing.

i have a disorder called POTS, its one of my biggest physical problems (along with GERD, RLS, and neuropathic pain in my shoulders, legs, and hips; i think i have sciatica. i think i probably also have IBS or some kind of internal stomach and digestive issue), and its very difficult to treat. afaik there are no surgeries or medication you can really do to treat it. its something that can happen to anyone and usually “triggers” from another illness, in my case i got an ear infection after my dad got an ear infection. i was 16 and then my life completely changed lmao.

you would think having this somewhat rare autoimmune disorder would make it easier to get on disability but nope. for years they would not let me apply online (i dont know why) and we have no vehicle so i couldnt get down to the office to apply. finally this year it let me apply online, but that was in june and i still havent heard anything back. now that they have my info on record it wont be as hard to re-apply but its still going to take a while bc only recently did a specialist who handles POTS move to my area. before the nearest specialist was 3 hours away and im not joking

but anyway. its the cost of living paired with our extremely low income. we get 200 dollars a month for two people for food, so 100 for me and 100 for my dad, which is not enough in the current climate to survive in.

ive contacted food pantries and sought out opportunities that could help both me and my dad but most places require transportation of some sort and we don’t have a car. it broke down where fixing it would cost too much so we had no choice but to get rid of it.

so basically what i usually end up needing help with is food. groceries cost so much money and we still dont have enough to eat by the end of the month. the price of groceries has gone up dramatically where the amount of income my dad and i get hasnt gone up at all