I am Your Crazy Autistic Ex
A man at the coffee shop today told the barista that his ex-girlfriend reached out to him. He said she was “crazy” and that it was clear she didn’t change at all. He said he was tired of dealing with her bullshit.
As he continued to rant about her, he added as proof, “She has a personality disorder.”
His descriptions of his ex (loud enough for me to hear multiple seats away), made me wince.
I know I’ve been described similarly.
I know I was considered “difficult” and “crazy” and “demanding” and probably any other derogatory word that could be used. I know many exes have many unflattering things to say about me.
I’ve always struggled in relationships. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of miscommunication. Lots of misunderstandings. Lots of unmet needs (in both parties).
This all makes sense now that I know I’m autistic. I see why I found relationships particularly challenging — especially when it came to maintaining them and feeling happy in them.
So while I wouldn’t personally describe myself as difficult, crazy, or demanding — I think I came off that way to some people I dated. I think I was confusing to many of my exes.
I knew some parts were my fault — and yet it also felt like some parts weren’t my fault. It was hard to…
