Guys tend to have three kinds of days: meh, good and I’ll-never-have-to-buy-a-drink-again-the-rest-of-my-life.
By Rick Reilly
But then came last Thursday, when the Los Angeles Dodgers’ Japanese giant Shohei Ohtani had the single greatest day in the history of professional baseball, which, admittedly, has been a thing for only 155 years.
In a single nine-inning game, Ohtani went 6-for-6 and drove in 10 runs, with three home runs, two doubles and two stolen bases. His three hours and six minutes of work not only clinched the Dodgers a playoff spot but vaulted him into the 50-50 club — 50 home runs and 50 stolen bases in one season.
“I’ve never seen anybody do that even in Little League,” Dodgers infielder Gavin Lux said.
The 50-50 club is not large. Here’s the roll call:
1. Ohtani, Shohei
It was the best day anybody has had since Neil Young wrote three hit songs in one afternoon. No other player has even sniffed 50-50 and the 30-year-old Ohtani did it with nine games to go. Not only that, but one of his homers went 440 feet, which is farther than a lot of people travel during an entire game of pickleball.
Ohtani was so ridiculous in this game, the crowd made him come out of the dugout and take a bow. And he was in Miami.
Going 50-50 — well, 53-55 after the rampage continued through this weekend — is just absurd. There are sluggers and there are speedsters. Sluggers have massive pecs and turn sideways to get down hallways. Speedsters are wiry and hardly leave a footprint on a deserted beach. And then along comes Ohtani, a guy who is somehow both. It’s like if Beyoncé were also a three-star Michelin chef.
There’s nothing he can’t do. He’s first in the National League in HRs, RBIs, runs, slugging; second in hits and third in average. If there’s a stat for cutest dog, he’s got that, too.
And all of this in the middle of a year that’s been more bizarre than an episode of “Lost.” Since last season, Ohtani:
- signed a $700 million, 10-year free agent deal with the Dodgers
- got married
- found out his friend and interpreter was charged with stealing $16 million from him to cover gambling debts
- was recovering from elbow surgery, which kept him from — get this — pitching.
Yep. As if all this isn’t enough, Ohtani is also a nearly unsolvable pitcher.
There’s a thing in baseball called “the five-tool player.” The five-tool player must excel at (1) hitting, (2) hitting for power, (3) fielding, (4) throwing and (5) running. In the whole history of baseball, you could barely fill a rowboat with five-tool guys — Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, Roberto Clemente, Mike Trout, Ken Griffey Jr., people like that.
But when Ohtani’s arm is right — which he hopes it will be again for 2025 — he’s one of the game’s top pitchers. Two years ago, with the L.A. Angels, he finished fourth in American League Cy Young voting. He has a 100-mph fastball, command, movement, defense and composure. That’s five hitting and five pitching, which means Ohtani is a 10-tool player. The man is a human Swiss Army knife.
All of which means we are looking at the greatest baseball player to ever live. Better than Aaron, Mays, Mantle or Ted Williams. None of them also pitched.
I hear you screaming “Babe Ruth!” C’mon, now. Ruth, standing next to Ohtani, would look like his neighborhood grocer. Ruth ran like a guy with a fridge on his back. The guy never even joined the 20-20 club, forget 53-55. Ohtani is Ruth with abs and a jetpack.
True, Ruth was a fine pitcher and then a great hitter, but Ruth never faced Black players. Or Latino players. Or, come to think of it, Japanese players.
And Ohtani is nice. When he arrives somewhere — the plate, first base, the mound — he likes to greet the catcher, the ump, the base coaches, the batboy, anybody nearby. This is a guy who picks up trash in the dugout.
Look, I’ve been around a long time. I voted for Abraham Lincoln. I’ve seen everything. But I’ve never seen anything like Shotime, the pride of Oshu, the friendly Godzilla, the greatest athlete on the planet. He is a lion playing with cubs right now and, starting in October, baseball fans will get to see him toy with teams in the playoffs for the first time.
And hopefully some year, when he wins the MVP and the Cy Young and the home-run title and the Triple Crown and the Nobel Peace Prize, I will be grateful to be alive to watch him do it.
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