Harshest is an understatement.

• To make them love you when you have no intentions of loving them or being with them knowing that you are only playing with their emotions.
• To continue lieing and pretending at every given opportunity that you love them even though you don't and also knowing that they are just too innocent to understand the game.
• To not have a conversation where things can be sorted out but react so badly that they just don't try to sort out the issues anymore.
• Give them false hope that everything is alright when it is not.
• Make promises that you don't intend to keep.
• To never make any effort to be there for them while they turn the world upside down to make sure you are fine.
• To always give excuses and not meet or call but have all the time in the world for your friends.
• To ignore them or their messages deliberately making them wait for several hours just for one reply. To cause maximum hurt.
• To switch off your phone when they are in pain especially when the reason is you.
• To never give a closure they deserve because that makes moving on difficult.
• The worst of all is to make them feel worthless and unwanted by ignoring them openly and by comparing them with others who have hardly done anything for you.
• To never acknowledge all that they did for you, but instead put all those efforts into a trash.
• To deliberately withhold intimacy.
• To keep them confused and hanging there when you know it's over for you.

I can go on.

After being dumped by his college sweetheart due to “immaturity and lack of ambition,” a young man named Ted doubled-down his efforts to make something of his life. He started studying hard, becoming an honor student, “well regarded by his professors,’ and eventually graduating and becoming a part of a successful gubernatorial campaign.

After graduating, Ted took the LSAT, intent on going to law school. Despite mediocre scores, he was admitted to several prestigious schools, helped in part by recommendations from the then-governor and other members of the state’s Republican party.

Once he ostensibly transformed into a “serious, dedicated professional, seemingly on the cusp of a distinguished legal and political career,” Ted rekindled his relationship with this woman. They discussed marriage, he introduced her to his powerful friends. And then, one day, he just stopped returning her calls.

She never heard from him again. He later explained that he deliberately planned the courtship and rejection in advance, as vengeance for the breakup she initiated originally.

Was the girl upset? Probably. She likely suffered as much as one cruelly dumped is wont to do. But in later years, she probably considered herself extremely lucky.

Ted had a future. A few years later, he made international headlines. Several books were written about his life, as was at least one made-for-TV movie.

You may have heard of the guy. Ted Bundy. One of the United States’ most notorious serial killers. It was thought that he murdered over 30 women in several states before being caught, tried, and finally executed at age 42.

He knew how to make a woman suffer, that’s for sure. But you don’t want to be this guy, or anything close to him.

Sure, it might feel good to get some payback for whatever suffering you feel women have inflicted on you. But do you really think this is the best long-term strategy? If you want a chance at a happy life, and hopefully attract another woman, you can’t be thinking like this.

Unless you’re a psychopath. In which case I’d advise you to cut off all ties with women right now, before you find yourself on the wrong end of an electric chair.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Bundy

Dismissive betrayal.

It takes different forms for different people, but it is extremely painful. The basic idea is that you win someone’s full trust, and then you specifically use that trust to hurt them. It’s especially bad if it’s clear to the person that it was your intent to do so the whole time. It makes a person feel bad about themselves for having been gullible and it makes it difficult for them to trust anyone else. To add extra awfulness, you make it seem like it was no big deal to you, as if your gripe is ridiculously unimportant.

This is a terrible thing to do to someone, and it takes either a lot of hate or a lack of empathy (or both). Most people, having done it to someone, would also feel bad about it afterwards.

Examples, some more realistic than others:

• A seemingly loving couple is married. Five years later, one of them learns that the other was only using the marriage as a way to build a false identity, that they’ve had affairs all along, and that they were just pretending to keep up appearances. When confronted, the offending party laughs and shrugs it off.
• Two coworkers befriend one another. Over time, they become good friends. They talk about their gripes at the job. One day, they take turns making fun of the boss. The next day, Worker A learns that Worker B recorded them and played it back for the boss in order to get Worker A fired to eliminate competition for a promotion. When confronted, Worker B just says, “Hey, it’s a competitive field. Sorry for your problems, but I’m doing what I need to do. Bye.”
• Your mother has cared for you for your whole life. She has always helped you with problems and been a great mom all along. Then, on your 18th birthday, she suddenly turns cold and kicks you out of the house. It turns out that it’s all been an act and she couldn’t wait to get rid of you. She has always found you annoying and never wants to see you again. You later see that she has been blogging online all along, sharing intimate details of your life and making fun of them.

It’s not just betrayal. That’s a bad enough feeling. But the sense that someone who you thought valued you actually finds you worthless makes it so much worse.

By contunuing to do the same things you know she doesnt like. Also, ignoring her when she tells you what bothers her , AND/OR telling her you dont want to hear it.

Moreover, everytime you repeat that, above, if you so do, then 10 minutes later your calling her honey or babe and talking as if nothing happened, THIS turns into an emotional roller coaster for her. Your fine, got your way, where SHE, on the other hand, is still frustrated because you shut her down.

Conflict is usuallly her concern. She doesnt want to engage with conflict that could possibally lead to a blow out. Therefore, she shuts up, submits to your command, and joins you in the conversation. ……WRONGO😵

Well, that just makes me so mad. Meanwhile, you think all is welll but its not. She didnt forget. See its very easy. We woman like to talk and share our thoughts with our partner. You guys use to like that if you could just think back when love was new. Now, time has gone by and so had your minds😳. lol yes We woman are the same ol person. We like your time and attention but we dont seem to get it anymore.

So, in a nutshell, thats just an example of how you hurt a woman emotionally. I hope you get the idea. Most of the time you can emotiinally hurt a woman by just the smallest thing that you DONT do. Keyword …DON’T. For instance, you dont open car door anymore. You dont hold her hand enough. You Dont bring or send flowers. You dont come home happy to see her. Last but of course NOT least, your unfaithful. These are a few emotional hurts you can bring to a woman. 🙄 Hope that helps ya! 😉

wondering if you ask this question because you want to avoid hurting a woman, or if you want to hurt a woman. a wife, who seems unhappy ? a girlfriend, who broke up with you ? there are many ways to hurt a woman. tell her she’s fat, that her feet are too big, that she’s stupid, that she can’t cook. cheat on her in a way that she finds out. ignore her needs. don’t give her any money. take the money she earns. be cruel to her children. insult her family. just in case you want to avoid hurting her: tell her you love her. compliment her cooking, her looks, her personality. bring her flowers. hold her in your arms. comfort her when someone else is rude to her. never, never cheat on her. help her with household chores, especially if she has a job away from home.

SHE IS CHARACTERLESS

I remember being in 9th standard when this incident happened with one of my classmates. It was a normal day at school until a usual bag checking drama was announced by the principal. Two female teachers started with the task.

So there was this girl Advika in our class. She was a bit stressed by the procedure and requested the teachers not to check her bag publicly.

Teacher 1 to 2: Kyu? Dekhiye toh ma'am acche se iska bag. Pucca kuch chupayi hogi.

(Check her bag carefully she must be hiding something)

Advika tried a lot to convince them but the teachers were not bothered to listen anything.

The way they were checking her school bag was ridiculous. Lifting it up and forcing the stuffs upside down.

A packet of sanitary napkins and few pills rolled down on the floor. The teacher asked her to pick up the napkins and the pills. She then asked her to hand over the pills to another teacher.

Teacher 2 : Ye toh contraceptive pills hain. Tum leti ho?

(These are contraceptive pills. You're on contraceptives?)

Teacher 1: Dekhiye toh ma'am kis tarah ke bacche ho gye hain aaj kal. Ye sab k baare mein hmlogon ko shaadi k baad pata chala tha. School ka hi hoga koi larka. Pucca school k baad kahin jaati hogi. Such a characterless girl

( Look at the kids these days. We came to know about contraceptives after we got married. The guy must be in our school. Must be going somewhere after the classes. Characterless girl)

It was quite embarrassing for her to face this in front of all the students and the male teachers.

She wanted to explain but the teachers did not care at all. They kept on cursing her and her parents for being irresponsible.

Advika: Ma'am the doctor prescribed me these because....( two slaps)

The poor girl couldn't speak.

She was taken to the principal's office.

The next day we came to know about what happened in the principal's chamber. Advika explained the Principal why she was on contraceptives.

She was suffering from PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome or disease). PCOS is a hormonal disease in women which leads to irregular menstrual cycles. treating PCOS often involves taking hormonal birth control to manage the symptoms of PCOS, like painful periods, acne, and excess body hair. The pill, the patch, and the ring work by preventing ovulation which reduces the number of cysts on the ovary.

And this was the reason why she had those medicines in her bag as she had to take them during the school hours.

But the damage was done. The rumors spread like forest fires that Advika was a characterless girl. The teachers who blamed her never cared to explain us that she was innocent.

She left the school after an year of mental torture

If the teachers didn't know about her medications they should have asked her calmly and in private. Being females themselves, they should have understood that once a girl's character is stained, it stays there forever.

You're a teacher doesn't give you the right to put a character tag on everyone.

India might have come a long way to be a progressive country and people are trying hard to get accustomed to the modern ways of living yet there's a great level of discrepancy in the mindsets of Indians. Especially when it is women in question, Indians just love to be 'judgmental' in almost everything possible.

Strange but true, most people judge women on some really weird grounds. And even if that means going to the extent of character assassination, they won't think twice.

Sometimes we just believe what we see but there is always a back end story which we don't know.

Image source: Pinterest

If you have her phone number put it on a dating site telling people she is a prostitute. I did this to one girl who ruined my best friend’s life. She lost her shit from what I heard. I did this from another country . Also put it on a site like Ok Cupid (if you're outside USA). If you're in USA where most of these apps originate from you might be in trouble because they can contact them very easily. Don't put it on bumble and tinder because they have offices outside US too. Any app apart from bumble and tinder and if you live outside of Us it's next to impossible to track you down. Also keep deleting the accounts. In one hour about 30 men can end up contacting her.

She went out for an amazing birthday party thrown by her best friend.

In all the frenzy and excitement, she wore a crop-top she preserved for some special occasion and paired it with distressed jeans and high heels.

In the restaurant, while she was filling herself with the delicacies and having a gala time with her buddies, she noticed the men staring continuously at her.

She got alarmed and started fixing her clothes but still couldn't save herself from getting those creepy oglings.

“There's a problem with your dress. You should wear less revealing clothes from now on.” Society told her.

Next time for a college fest, she wore a kurti.

Waist= covered

The kurti was full-sleeved.

Arms= Covered

She paired it with a pair of mojaris.

Feet= covered.

Perfect now. Maybe this Not-at-all revealing clothes could save her from gazes. She misinterpreted.

Happily, she took a bus where she was again awarded with creepy stares and ogling by some man.

“You should learn to ignore such things," Society advised her.

Finally, she decided to vent off her disgust and anger by writing about her sufferings on social media and seeking help from people.

Result:

• Her comment section got filled in minutes-

Didi wants attention!

Didi is writing a cooked story to fish for some followers.

She wants to defame a man because she is a pseudo-feminist.

She is a misandrist.

• Her inbox too got filled with vulgar messages.

Peace.

The feeling is terrible.

It haunts me day and night. It brings tears in my eyes when I think of her voice in pain and how asked me “Why did you do this to me?” crying out loud. She had the most beautiful smile and facial expression. I am in love with her and she too loves me. Her face used to reflect how beautiful heart she has got and her expressions, her smile while talking to me reflected how much she loved me, her efforts proved how much she wanted to be with me.

I wronged her in a way and she was so deeply hurt that she doesn’t want to read my texts, mails or hear my voice since she fears what would I write or say which I had been hiding from her for a long time. It’s been over a week and that we haven’t talked and since the beginning of the year she has been living a hell in this relationship. I feel like I am poisoning this relationship. I feel so much of guilt after I think I took away peace from her life and smile from her face.

You can read part of my story here: Someone anonymous's answer to Have you ever broken someone's heart? Why?

I feel like a criminal in this relationship for hurting her. Never thought of hurting her but it happened. And I regret it with every passing second. I was inexperienced and I should have taken people’s suggestion before making those mistakes. I feel like an idiot and immature guy who got into relationship but couldn’t maintain it for long time. I am done hurting girls even unknowingly.

I am really sorry for what’s happening and it really hurts to see someone you love in pain and it’s worse when you can do nothing about it but just write few answers on Quora.

Cruelest ways to break someone's heart is by breaking their soul. Crushing their ego and make them feel unworthy.

Imagine a toddler. Never stepped down his/her mother's lap. Loved,pampered, he/she had all the attention in the whole world,all the love anyone wants. Now take the toddler to a super market and leave him/her all alone. There are people near but that's just mere crowd not the ones he/she loved or wanted. Leave the toddler to cry. No one worries about his/her crying. He/she craves for that warmth for that hug for that touch but the mom is no where to be seen and the worst thing is the toddler doesn't even know what he/she has done.

That's how you break a person. Love them . Make them realise girl you are the only one. Express to her the love of entire eternity. Take the vows ,pamper her and then walk out without even giving a reason. Leave her for crying and don't care to look back what you did to her. Ruin her everything and tell her to do a new start. Make her realise that your kisses which once took her breath away were just meant to suffocate her later.

Love her to the moon and then abruptly stop loving.

That's more than enough to break her soul not only her heart

When two people break up ..I don't know where the love goes.

I will tell the least expected one—

Your care and concern towards the girl can hurt her a lot sometimes.

There is this dialogue in the Tamil film Kabali, when Superstar Rajnikanth goes to a pet shop, and talks to his friend about the turmoil a bird goes through when it is caged.

‘Do you know how difficult it is to be caged? There is a huge sky outside. And just one thin iron grill preventing that bird from going there. How cruel!’ he says.

‘It will die if it flies outside. Predator birds will kill it.’

‘Let it fly first. It will learn to fight the situation. It will figure out how to live. But if you keep it caged like this, it will find your compassion more torturous than death.’

Likewise

One thing men (and women also) shouldn’t do is to estimate the strength of the girls and write the Do’s—and—Don’t’s manual, based on their presumptions, opinions and ‘this-is-how-it-has-been’ case studies.

Over time, women have evolved a lot. Some of them have come to a position where they can strongly say to their men ‘I just need a lover, companion and a partner in you. Not a guardian. Not a father-figure. Not a boss.’

And men need to be matured enough to accept this change. And give them, sorry scratch that, not snatch the freedom they deserve.

Telling your partner or wife or daughter things like

• Don’t go to work. It is hot and humid outside. Instead, be at home and have a relaxed life, looking after household work.
• Don’t take the bike. Roads are not safe. Take a cab instead.
• Don’t go to that industry. Office politics and work stress are difficult for you. You can’t handle them.
• Don’t go for outdoor sports. You are getting darkened.
• For a girl, promotion means getting married and giving birth to a child. That’s when your life is complete.

without even asking what she really wants to do in her life is not caring for her.

It is high time people realize this.

By doing this, you are indeed suppressing her freedom, dreams and ultimately hurting her.

Women who are race-bikers, entrepreneurs, solo travelers, scientists, army officers were not born like that. They too were simple girls once. It is just that the dominance didn’t cage them.

However strong your concern might be, the moment it meddles with the comfort and happiness of the other adult, it starts to lose its value.

Generally, the same way you cause any human being to emotionally suffer:

You withdraw from them.

But, you see, to cause emotional suffering, first you have to engage with someone on an emotional level. You need to be kind and empathetic, even friendly. Maybe you even tell them you like them. This part needs to be sincere because real human beings can sense each other's emotions and respond to them.

Every time the person trusts you more, you need to up the ante. Give them more of yourself. Show them your investment in the relationship. Get them to rely on you by being there for them all the time.

Do activities with them that they enjoy. Even if you don't always enjoy the activity, do it occasionally because it's important to them. Look for ways to surprise them by going the extra mile.

Then, when your affection and emotional connection to the person are at their highest point, when you absolutely can't imagine life without them, you leave.

There. You've caused the highest possible level of emotional suffering in the person. It only cost your entire soul.

TL;DR: Don’t. Just don't.

Why would you want to emotionally hurt a woman. Men and women argue it’s a fact, it’s a part of life, but it is wrong to emotionally hurt a woman and it is wrong of man to raise and change his temperament and raise and change his voice to that horrible tone of voice, where it can or may cause a girl or a woman to be frightened and to end up crying.

It is cruel and wrong and fucking out of order, if a person hurts a girl or woman emotionally.

The people who do things like this to girls and women are usually called cunts.

Any girl or woman that is starting to feel emotionally hurt or starting to cry due to the way a person is speaking to them, should tell that person in her loudest and deepest voice to FUCK OFF. 👍

Every couple has their boundaries, I had mine with my ex. It was straight forward, no going on dating sites and talking to women, no inviting women to dinner, no intimate talking to women on f.b, he broke all three, some twice and perhaps some I don't know about, he may possibly have physically cheated, but we aren't talking about that. If someone is doing something on their phone that is of a intimate nature, I.e talking romantically/sexually and they cannot show you messages, that is emotional cheating. They may not physically cheat but it is still wrong to do it. My partner wants us to get back together with me but the only way we could was if he threw away his phone and didn't talk to anyone at work which is not practical and not fair. Obviously the fault lies with him because he actively sought these women out, he obviously needs outside adulation and attention. I have given him all of these things and more but with his personality traits, and him being possibly a narracist, he had to seek out an emotional relationship.

I can only remember a few women in my life who I hurt really deeply. I mean, sure I have hurt other women unintentionally, but there were only three women I can think of where I was not happy with myself.

Now, the thing is… It was never my intention to hurt any of these women. Things just happened… I felt really bad.

I was able to apologize to the first woman. I was 13, and this was at summer camp. This woman was attracted to me, and I liked her too. I was just really insecure and I didn’t think anyone could really ever love me.

I said something to her and I don’t know why I said it… but immediately after I said it… it came off as me being a jerk. I was joking when I said what I said, but the woman broke into tears. It took her a few weeks… but she was able to realize that I wasn’t a bad guy at all. Her friends didn’t like me… But at least she realized I was a good person.

The second incident happened when I was in college. I was 19. I was going through a lot of stuff… especially at home. In general I was not o.k. I was in one of my classes, and I decided to make a comment towards this woman…. which I had thought would turn out to be insightful… but when I said it, it turned out to be really embarrassing on my part, and it was extremely inappropriate. Anyway, the woman was also in my other class. She was really upset with me. I never had a chance to apologize. I guess I was too scared to approach her again. I probably thought she would cause a big scene and embarrass me. I do feel terrible about hurting her. I really wish I could apologize, and get this feeling off my conscience.

The third woman I hurt was the love of my life. Unfortunately, we never met in person. It was a long distance relationship. We saved each other’s lives. The only problem was: This woman was bi-polar. After about four months I had to end the relationship because things just got to a point where it wasn’t healthy for me to be in the relationship anymore.

At the time, I decided to ghost my best friend. Someone who I know would take a bullet for me. It was a hard decision… I felt bad having to do it. But it was my mom who saw the despair in my face and said: “Listen… you have to end it with this woman… Look what she is doing to you!” And I ended the relationship with love of my life.

I still miss her to this day. I did contact her a few years ago, and I didn’t really hear much back from her. I was really scared to contact her. Though I opened up my Instagram a few months after I contacted her, and I saw that she sent me a message a few months earlier saying that:

She hated me for a little while after the breakup but she was fine now. And that she was going to move on with her life.

That’s my story.

Thanks for listening.

By getting really close really fast. I’ve never felt this way before.

By not owning what they do or say. Wow. Slow your roll. I was just kidding.

By lying. I was at the gym.

By making you feel guilty. You would if you loved me.

By using ultimatums. If you do that, I’m out.

By using how you feel or what you say against you.

By taking advantage of you.

By making excuses.

By blaming you.

By altering the truth.

By disclosing only parts of what happened.

By making you doubt yourself.

By diminishing your concerns.

By overwhelming you.

By intimidating you.

By threatening you.

By blackmailing you.

By rushing you.

By surprising you.

By going silent.

By putting you down. The logic is that the smaller your self worth, the easier you are to manipulate.

I’m not sure you can if the woman is emotionally confident.

I’ve certainly had a few men try who didn’t like my political views. But they’ve come off as clowns by the time I addressed their silly comments, insisting I have to be:

ugly, feminist, single & loathing men, obese, and any other number of stereotypical labels insecure men use to demean women if they are traditionally weak around women.

About the only people who can emotionally hurt me are people I adore and love because their opinions are valuable to me. So, if my fiance degraded me, that would hurt, but then, I’ve never chosen a man who did that.

Even when I’ve been cheated on, I simply moved on and really didn’t let the hurt get to me. I believe you replace pain with a pleasant experience, so it is tough to get to a woman like me. Death emotionally hurts when it is someone I know. Watching my ex-fiance being tortured nearly killed me inside. I was emotionally hurt by watching a friend of mine suffer and not being able to help her. And anything to do with my kids that hurt, would be emotional for me.

But the usual things? Not really!

If you lie, I think you are worthless. If you try to gaslight me, I walk away and laugh at you. If you are rude, I kick you to the curb. If you try to undermine my confidence, you are out with the trash. I recognize most of those behaviors and the type of people who try to use them.

In my experience, men couldn’t care less about whether or not they hurt a woman. They only care about consequences.

Think of the so-called Walkaway Wife Syndrome. In this, the husbands are cold, uncaring, don’t pull their weight in the relationship, and don’t give a damn about her needs. She moves heaven, earth, and hell trying to get him to understand, to see, to care. He never does.

She finally gives up, and starts planning her exit strategy.

Finally, the day comes when he is served with divorce papers. He freaks out, and immediately begins behaving like the warm, caring, emotionally available, hardworking, responsible man she always wanted.

When does this 180 degree shift happen?

When he was routinely disappointing her and breaking her heart? NO.

When he realizes he’s about to lose part of his income and a living arrangement he’s become comfortable with? YES.

THEN he suddenly “cares”… because he is trying to avoid CONSEQUENCES.

This is why I always advise Walk-Away Wives to keep right on walking. The “Husband of the Year” act he’s suddenly putting on only goes to show how much he cares about his convenience and his wallet, not how much he cares about you.

He’s already shown you how much he cares about you — none. And while you can use his fear of lifestyle upheaval to force him to behave appropriately, do you really want to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t give a damn about you? A guy whose wallet you have to take hostage, for him to even treat you with the common courtesy any decent person would give to a stranger on the street?

Hell no.

The question clearly shows the magnitude of your resentment against the other person. May I tell you something without sermonizing, as if to a friend.

You have been hurt deeply. Naturally you are harbouring ill feeling towards that person and want to hit below the belt.

Will you accomplish anything by doing so? Try to find out the benefits. Only a psychological satisfaction that you have hurt that person back. . May be you think you can enjoy when the other person suffers emotionally. What a little satisfaction!

But more than this it will make YOU sick. Brooding over it, what more sadistic action you should take etc will affect you more than the other person, that too for a long long time . That person if at all may be affected emotionally for some time but not so long as it affects you.

Negative thoughts result in negative actions and these affect your mind beyond words. In the fit of anger you have you may not understand the impact now. Let this sink in your system .

What you can do to reverse the process of negative thinking: Forget what wrong has been committed, however grave that might be . Just release your ill feelings.( I don't even for a second say it is easy. But if done even with difficulty the dividend is worth it).

If you want to be broad minded and happy about this episode for the entire life, you can tell the other person over the phone or in person or by writing that you are releasing the grudge you had against that person. Do not let your EGO stand in between. This is a matter which would change your entire negative perception about life into a positive one

If you think that what is written above is bullshit kindly give a comment in Quora .

These answers lack Imagination. Give him the chemical cyproheptadine which will prevent serotonin production, making him unable to regulate moods. Give him concentrated doses of dramamine. It will make him experience a realistic nightmare hallucinatory state. Cut out his eyes,put maggots in the sockets and cut the nerves connecting his spinal cord to his brain. Cut out his tongue. Explain to him that he is in hell and will stay here for eternity. Then pierce his ear drums. Connect him to an IV of enough nutrients to keep him alive. Put in the drip the previous two chemical plus nalaxolone, and opiate blocker that will simulate heroin withdrawl and make any sensation of pleasure or happy thought impossible. Allow a mechanism for waste removal and keep his alive as long as possible.

Or, alternatively, accuse him of “mansplaining.”

By telling someone other than your significant other or your best friend, your deepest feelings, your innermost thoughts; by thinking of anyone other than your significant other when something happens - you know, like if you got a promotion, the first person I would want to tell is my boyfriend, then my mom. Emotionally cheating is worse than having an affair because it’s intimate mentally. I’m not excusing physically cheating, but I’d bet that most people who leave their significant others left them for someone they’d been emotionally cheating with before finally physically cheating and then leaving.

If you’re asking because you’re thinking about this, because maybe you feel like you can’t or don’t want to share yourself with your significant other, maybe it’s time you really think about whether the person you’re with is someone you want to be with. If this is about you, then do yourself a karmic favor and don’t let the person you’re with continue on thinking everything’s okay just because you’re still on the fence about the relationship. That’s bad karma. Don’t start a new relationship until you finish the current one.

Good luck :) K

This happens when she hurts you emotionally, or may be hurts your ego. Often times, I used to ask my girlfriend not to do something, and when she did it, it ate me inside out. I was in the same place as yours, wanted to somehow feel what I am feeling.

The point is, boys aren’t emotionally grown up. What you essentially want is your girlfriend to feel sorry for you, or apologize. You want to hurt her emotionally so as to make her feel what you may feel at times.

This isn’t something only you feel. This is something that comes when a combination of insecurity and your girlfriend doing something that upsets you happens. The best way out is just go and tell her whatever bothers you, it would be awkward for you, but again, better to confront it rather than letting it kill you from inside.

You know that a person is hurt deeply only if you are deeply involved in the relationship. It can be any sort of relationship.

The person you have presumably hurt plays so much important role in your life that you come to know that you are losing him/her after the hurting incident as the behaviour changes.

Addressing or initiation in the conversation changes. And that almost makes you so restless that you feel you can't make life going without his/her being normal presence in your life.

You are ignored by the person you have hurt and on the top of that today social network helps people express their feelings. So one must be smart to check updates and know how much bad you have hurt someone.

Usually not, interestingly. The ones who hurt “good people” do so because they are mentally weak and generally they are too immature to grasp anything other than their false stories they tell themselves in the bathroom mirror, often in their mother’s basement. The best thing they ever did to that woman was to hurt her enough to free her to have actual men in her life.

Do you know what’s funny? The man to whom I was first married, whose daughter I raised ultimately without a dime from him, now “regrets losing me.” Yup. He told me so once. I told him that maybe snapping my spine and severing tendons in my dominant hand to punish me wasn’t the smartest move of his life, especially because I was the breadwinner who paid all of the bills. I even paid his bills for ten months after I left him out of the goodness of my heart, and he STILL didn’t use that time to get a freaking job. But make no mistake. He doesn’t regret hurting me. He loved hurting me and went on to hurt other women who usually call me for support to work through their trauma. He regrets losing my paycheck. I must admit, my paycheck IS pretty sexy.

Message pops up ………..

If you can’t accept our relationship then divorce him .

He can’t sleep without talking to me .

Whenever he meets me he hugs me and never forgets to take a selfie .

He celebrates my birthday singing my favourite song .

He married me on one auspicious day of Navratri .

We are king and queen . You are just Dashi taking care of my husband .

We are Radha and Krishna …….epitome of love .

These were the messages of a married woman to another married woman .

Fuck off ……… the wife ignored because she knew that the devil bitch was mentally and emotionally manipulating her .

She stood like a Rock in front of her husband to protect and save him as the wife knew that her husband was made fool by that devil bitch psychologically .

Remember all devil bitches Savitri is enough to protect her husband . Do whatever you want to do .

I had an ongoing “snipe fight” with a lady in my former church choir. Our comments, mostly trying to one-up the other, were purely fun stuff, good natured poking that never amounted to anything serious. We actually cared for one another.

One night she hit me with a particularly good zinger. I replied with a thermonuclear bomb: “Sherry, if you ever get pregnant can I have one if the puppies?” I was very satisfied with my rejoinder.

Then she stopped speaking to me.

Fast forward about a year. Quite by accident I found out that my friend was totally incapable of becoming pregnant. She and her husband had tried for years to have children, but it was medically impossible. I felt like such a schmuck.

Because I was chairman of the church music council I would frequently make commentary and give various information after our rehearsals were done. I then stood in front of the choir and made the following statement:

“About a year ago I made a comment to our good friend Sherry in front of you all. This comment, my original intent to have nothing but a good natured snipe at her, was actually very hurtful, incredibly cruel, and completely thoughtless. Sherry, I am ashamed that I hurt your feelings. I apologize for doing so, especially in a room filled with our church family and friends. I hope you will accept my apology, but if you don't, I will not blame you.

“Thank you all for your hard work. Good night.” I then left the room so that I could adequately beat myself up.

Sherry ran after me and gave me a huge hug. We cried and hugged until our tears were done.

Some choir members were offended that I made my apology like that, that I should have gotten her aside and made my amends in private. “I embarrassed Sherry in public, in front of her friends. I felt I owed it to her to apologize in the same manner that I offended her - publicly”, was my reply.

I don't have many regrets in life. Devistating my friend like that ranks at the top of the list.

Wrong question. You should never hurt anyone just because they have hurt you. Remember, an eye for an eye turns the whole world blind. Instead you must learn to protect yourself and make yourself so strong that noone can ever hurt you. If you still want to hurt them, then hurt them with your purity, with your happiness, with your contentment, with your positivity towards everything, with your innocence, with your ever forgiving nature and with your love towards everyone.

This will make sure you dont get affected with any negativities and also make the other person good and realize their mistake. Moreover, the best thing anyone can have is an ever forgiving heart. It’s a gift of God not everyone has. So make use of the gift instead of wasting it for someone else who doesnt care for you.

Every event, good or bad, has some significance as it always happens to teach us something good. If you break instead making yourself strong with the newly learnt lesson, then im sorry you are the biggest loser.

If you find it hard to be this positive or making use of your gift then there is a secret for the same. Meditate and chant the name of prabhu sitaram(I call them by this name you can call them by any name of your choice, they dont mind), their name has so much power that no negativity can withstand the presence of the one who thinks of them.

Good luck!

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Sorry for mistakes

You’re a hurt person. There is a saying : “ Hurt people , hurt people .”

Stop the cycle. Get therapy to deal with your anger, because beneath that is hurt and frustration.

Also, just grow up, to put it more firmly. You are not a kid in the sandbox dealing with a kid who hits you , so that you need to retaliate. Often people who are angry people, then take it out on innocent and “weaker “ people, and they don’t deserve it. You need to figure that out .

When you have an intimate relationship, sometimes you come to know their vulnerabilities, and then you can come to know how you can hurt them emotionally. You simply don’t do it because you are now an adult , you have self control , you care about their feelings ( which I presume you do, since this is your girlfriend) .

Mean people suck.

You don't.

What I mean is: you don't hurt other people's feelings. They hurt their own feelings. That is, they choose to make your actions or words about themselves. They take what you have done or said and create meaning from what they experience and then their Ego makes it all about them.

Shocking to read this, yes, I know. But it's a truth that can release us from suffering “at the hands of another”. We have been taught by social conditioning that what someone else does is about us. Concepts like betrayal, criticism, shame and judgment are all negative behaviors that someone can do to us. But they aren't. They are the actions and words which through meanings, values, and beliefs, others do for themselves. We make it about us.

Consider this: your partner ends the relationship. You are devastated because you make the breakup about you. You do this first subconsciously, then you think about it consciously. You feel unworthy, ashamed, betrayed and found lacking by their judgment. But they didn't set out to make you feel those things. You chose them through habits of reaction and because that's how you are “supposed” to feel. Meanwhile, they are simply pursuing what they believe they need for themselves. From their reality it isn't about you or your feelings, it's about them and their own feelings.

So this is where a lesson exists if you are open to consider it. When you perceive that you might have hurt someone else, there are things happening inside of them which they are doing to ease their pain, shield themselves from further suffering and justifying what has happened “to them”. They might blame you for their feelings, but that is just part of the learned process. Consider this and perhaps it may help you empathize.