‘You have been abusive to me for over 40 years’: Did Barry and Honey Sherman’s toxic emails lead police to believe murder-suicide?

Emails recently obtained by the Star may shed light on why investigators jumped to the conclusion that there was enough acrimony between the couple to lead to violence. In an email exchange shortly before their deaths, Barry accuses Honey of being “abusive” to him for their entire relationship. And abusive to their four children.

“You have been abusive to me for over 40 years,” Barry wrote in an email to Honey on Nov. 6, 2017, five weeks before the murders. “You were also persistently abusive to the kids.”

Barry, founder of generic drug giant Apotex, and his wife Honey were found dead on the deck of their basement swimming pool on Friday, Dec. 15, 2017. They died two days earlier. No arrests have been made and police say the homicide investigation continues.

The couple was found in a seated position on the pool deck, leather belts around their neck, tied to a low safety railing that surrounded the water. Police now believe this was staged by the killer or killers to look like a murder-suicide or double suicide. 

At the start of the case, police and a pathologist held a strong belief that Barry killed Honey, then took his own life, even though forensic evidence from the first set of autopsies revealed that the wrists of both had been tied when they were alive — but no ties were found at the scene. Also, a thin garrote mark could be found on their necks, under each of the belts — indicating that’s how they were strangled. The belts were only used after death to keep them upright in a posed position, investigators have since concluded. While not much weight was put on these forensic findings, they were noted by the pathologist who did the autopsies and relayed to the homicide detectives. Still, police pursued the murder-suicide theory.

Evidence of tunnel vision by the police can be found in the police search warrant documents filed in court in the early weeks. They state they are investigating only the murder of Honey Sherman, not Honey and Barry Sherman. During this time, police sources were telling journalists at major media outlets that it was a case of murder-suicide. 

Meanwhile, detectives continually asked family and friends about indications of acrimony between the couple, according to interview statements released to the Star by a judge. 

Police detectives have refused to say why they so strongly pursued the murder-suicide theory.

Recently, the Star obtained emails that the police found in the early days. These are emails on Barry and Honey’s electronic devices (Barry’s BlackBerry, Honey’s iPhone and her two iPads, and desktop computers at Apotex and the Sherman home).

One series of emails caught the eyes of detectives, sources say.

The email chain takes place on a Monday, five weeks before the murders. Honey is in Kiawah, S.C., on a golf trip. It’s 4:33 a.m. Honey, a night owl, emails Barry, who is in Toronto.

“Please go with me,” Honey writes, under the subject line, “Leonard Cohen event.”

That evening in Montreal there was a memorial tribute to the Canadian singer-songwriter on the first anniversary of his death. There were also a series of other events starting later that week, including the opening of a Leonard Cohen exhibition at a Montreal museum. The Star couldn’t determine which event Honey was referring to. Regardless, he wanted Barry to attend with her.

“Not going,” Barry responds at 6:39 a.m., likely at the home on Old Colony Road and getting up for the work day.

Honey responds at noon: “PLEASE! Let’s try to get along!” At this point, the emails turn from the Leonard Cohen event to their relationship.

Barry emails at 5:09 pm: “Let’s try to get along won’t work, unless you understand what the problem is, and it appears that will never happen.”

Honey responds at 10:53 pm that night: “I do understand. But I’m not alone in this. I would try. If u r willing as well,” Honey writes. “Ok?” she adds.

Barry fires back a few minutes later, at 11:04 p.m., writing from his BlackBerry. “Apparently you do not understand. You have been abusive to me for over 40 years. Whenever I have asked you to stop, the response has been: ‘You stop’. You were also persistently abusive to the kids, which you remain unable to see. And you remain insensitive in how you deal with them.”

Honey writes back a short note at 11:27 p.m.: “Okay, I hear u.”

That’s the end of the conversation obtained by the Star.

The Star has also obtained from sources hundreds of email exchanges between Barry and Honey, their children, and others in the extended family. They reveal an at times toxic relationship in the family, with difficult conversations that typically related to finances.

As the Star has previously reported in its podcast, the Billionaire Murders, the relationship between Honey and her children was so toxic, she referred to her children as “the Nazis.” Honey told close friends that the “pecking order” in her family went like this: Barry, the four children, then Honey.

One of the sources of bitterness was their drastically different approach to child raising. Barry lavished them with money (different amounts for different children), which Honey didn’t like. Honey was the authoritarian and could be tough on the children, family sources say.

In their interviews with police in the days following their parent’s death, all four Sherman children say that their parents had marital squabbles years ago, but in the months leading up to the murders they were getting along very well — statements in sharp contrast to the email exchange police had discovered. Daughter Lauren Sherman said her parents had recently been seen holding hands. Son Jonathon, at the funeral, commented that his parents were like “a lock and a key, each pretty useless on your own. But together you unlocked the whole world for yourselves, and for us, and so many others.”

Some close friends told police that the Shermans, like many married couples, had their ups and downs. When seen in public, they got along well but behind closed doors, they did argue, often about their styles of parenting. Still, friends repeatedly rejected the notion that Barry would kill Honey. A gallows-humour joke was made by the Shermans’ friends — if anyone had the strength to kill the other, it would be Honey, not the notoriously out-of-shape Barry. 

Investigative sources have told the Star that while the initial autopsies cast doubt on the murder-suicide theory, investigators took close note of injuries to Honey’s face — she had been struck on the right side of her face. The Star has seen the crime scene photos and commentary from investigators who suspect that the mottled blood on her face is an indication that a plastic bag was put over her face to stop the blood from getting on the killer’s clothes or other parts of the Sherman home (police believe she was killed on the main floor and moved to the basement). Barry has no injuries to his face. When found, his legs were neatly crossed at the ankles and his eyeglasses were neatly perched on the bridge of his nose. 

Those findings — and possibly the toxic email chain — clouded the interpretation of the autopsy results, sources say.

A Toronto police spokesperson said homicide detectives “won’t be providing comment” on the email chain or any other part of the case while the investigation is ongoing.

Since the murders, the Star has been arguing in court to unseal a police investigative file that has grown to 3,300 pages. A judge has released hundreds of pages (some still partially blacked out) detailing interviews with family, friends and business associates. One of the Star’s arguments is that public scrutiny is necessary since Toronto police have admitted in court that it has no system for reviewing conduct in a homicide investigation.

The Star returns to court later this year.

The Star is arguing that public scrutiny of the case is required since (as revealed by a homicide detective on the case) the Toronto police lack an internal method of reviewing errors made in investigations.

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