FOOD; SINGAPORE'S CUISINE REALLY TAKES A POUNDING

The success of Singaporean marriages, it is said, depends on how well the bride can 'pound' chilies and other ingredients into the paste that forms the basis of the island's native cuisine.

The use of mortar and pestle is an honored art in Singapore.

When a Singaporean is to be married, the family asks many questions about the prospective bride. The most important is, ''Can she pound?''

''Pounding'' is the delicate art of blending Singapore's lethal chilies, garlic and onions into a coarse and brilliantly colored paste that forms the basis of this tiny island's native cuisine. ''After a couple has met, and decided to get married, the husband's family is invited to the prospective bride's home, where she prepares dinner for the two families,'' explains Violet Oon, a native Singaporean and authority on the island's cuisine, known as nonya, or Peranakan cooking.

The dinner is a real test. For while the families are socializing in the living room, the young woman is in the kitchen, pounding the essential peppers, spices and vegetables in a huge black granite mortar. The family waits and listens intently to see if she has got the rhythm down - a steady one, two, three, four, dropping the pestle firmly and evenly.

''If the sound is right, the family assumes that their son will be well taken care of during the marriage,'' says Mrs. Oon, who perfected the art of nonya cooking at the hand of her great aunt, a well-known native cook.

Though many local culinary customs have died out, a girl's ability to produce spicy satays and curries, garlicky pork stews, thick nonya meatball soups and sweet, rich coconut desserts is still considered essential. In some families, the prospective bride still spends a month cooking with her fiance's mother, working until she can reproduce the native dishes to everyone's satisfaction.

Singapore cuisine is a synthesis of classic Chinese, Indian, Malay and European cooking traditions that made their way to the Straits more than 150 years ago. The Chinese influence comes from the Chinese settlers who immigrated after Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles made Singapore into a trading post of the British East India Company in 1819. Chinese came as tin miners, traders and merchants, and soon began peppering their culinary repertory with new ingredients and new flavors. Their palates became attuned to the novel Malay chilies and spices, and they developed a fondness for the English-style curries borrowed from India.

The best nonya food, insists Mrs. Oon, is found not in restaurants but in the home, for cooking is a social art as well. Women gather in large groups, gossiping as they prepare multicourse banquets for the dozens of festivals and holidays celebrated here each year. The most famous dishes tend to be complicated and time consuming, for it is a cuisine born of an era when women had a houseful of servants, time on their hands and large families with gargantuan appetites.

Unlike Chinese specialties made at the last minute, nonya food is prepared hours, even days, ahead of time, so that the cook doesn't have to spend the last minute slaving in the kitchen, or hopping up from the table between courses.

''When Asians entertain, the most important thing is to have enough to eat,'' says Mrs. Oon. ''To run out of food is a sin.'' This means food is prepared in large batches, with an eye toward a few leftovers for the next day.

The food tends to be much like the outgoing Singaporeans themselves: unpretentious, informal, strong and unrestrained. Singaporeans savor the fragrant, sour tang of lime and tamarind juice, used liberally to balance the heavy sweetness of the coconutmilk sauces. The clear, clean flavor of fresh, hot chilies shows up everywhere, balancing with the spiciness of Indian dishes and the sweetness of Malay specialties.

The following recipes are among Mrs. Oon's favorites, dishes that adapt well to an American kitchen. The curry-powder recipe comes from Mrs. Oon's great aunt and is a typical nonya blend, made with lots of the mellow coriander that Singaporeans use liberally thoughout their cuisine. When Singaporeans make curry powder such as this, they cook and blend the ingredients, then take them to a local miller for grinding. I set aside a small coffee grinder for blending spices, and find it perfectly suitable.

The chili shrimp evolved from the popular Sichuan chili shrimp, but resembles only slightly the Chinese version. Nonyas use fresh chilies, while the Chinese use dried peppers and a healthy dose of tomatoes and onions. And while the Sichuan version aims for firm, crisp shrimp, the Singaporeans like theirs moist and supple, so the shrimp can fully absorb the pungent properties of the chilies and garlic.

A final word on pounding. Though it is still very much an art in Singapore, Mrs. Oon allows that those who haven't perfected it may use a food processor for the fine blending of chilies and spices. Violet Oon's Singapore chicken curry

This is a rich and pungent dish. If a milder curry is preferred, reduce the amount of curry powder to suite one's taste. 1 two-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and coarsely chopped 7 cloves garlic, peeled and coarsely chopped 10 shallots, peeled and coarsely chopped 1/2 cup Singapore curry powder (see recipe) 1/2 cup water 1 chicken, cut into about 20 bite-size pieces 5 tablespoons vegetable oil 3 cups thin coconut milk (see recipe) 1 pound small potatoes, peeled and halved 2 teaspoons salt, or to taste 1 loaf French bread, cut into serving slices.

1. Using a mortar and pestle, pound, in this order, the ginger, the garlic and the shallots until they are fine. The ingredients may also be finely ground in the container of a blender or food processor.

2. Mix the curry powder with one-half cup water and blend to a paste. Mix half the curry paste with the pounded ginger, garlic and shallot mixture, and rub all over the chicken pieces. Marinate at least one-half hour.

3. Heat the oil in a wok or large frying pan over high heat. The oil should be very hot. Add remaining curry paste and fry for three to four minutes, or until paste is fragrant and turns a rich, dark brown.

4. Add the marinated chicken and reduce heat to medium, stirring constantly for about 10 minutes, or until spices are cooked.

5. Add the coconut milk and bring to a boil over high heat. Add potatoes and salt, and cook over medium heat for 30 minutes, or until chicken is tender and potatoes cooked. Note that this dish is better the second day. If the curry will be reheated later, slightly undercook at this stage so that the potatoes do not become mushy. Traditionally, this dish is served with fresh hot French bread for soaking up the thick gravy.

Yield: Four servings. Singapore curry powder 2/3 cup coriander seeds 1 teaspoon black peppercorns 1/2 cup cumin seeds 1/4 cup anise seed 1/4 cup dried chili peppers 3 tablespoons turmeric powder 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground cinnamon 1 whole clove 1 teaspoon cardamom 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg.

1. Combine the spices and dry-fry in a wok over low heat, stirring constantly so the spices do not burn. Fry them for eight to 10 minutes, or just until they begin to brown and are fragrant.

2. Remove from the wok to cool, then grind in batches in a small coffee mill reserved for spice grinding. The blend will keep for several months stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Yield: One-and-one-half cups. Thin coconut milk Canned or frozen coconut milk may be used for this curry, but it will be thicker and heavier than the milk you prepare yourself. To prepare thin coconut milk, cut the white coconut meat into coarse slices and combine with three cups of water in a blender or food processor. Blend until you have a fibrous liquid. Squeeze the liquid through fine cheesecloth. Discard the pulp. Coconut milk may be kept safely for a few days in the refrigerator, or may be frozen.

Yield: Three cups thin coconut milk. Chili shrimp 10 cloves garlic, peeled and coarsely chopped 1 fresh red chili pepper, about six inches long, coarsely chopped 2 pounds fresh shrimp in their shells, rinsed and drained 1/4 cup vegetable oil 1 teaspoon salt, or to taste.

1. Using a mortar and pestle pound the garlic until semifine, then add the chilies and pound until the mixture is fairly fine and has turned a bright red.

2. Cut the shrimp down the back and remove the black vein. Do not shell the shrimp. Set aside.

3. Place a wok or a large frying pan over high heat, add the oil and, when it is smoking, add the pounded garlic and chili. Stir-fry for about one minute, then add shrimp and salt to taste. Stir-fry for four to five minutes, or until the shrimp is cooked and turns a bright orange. Adjust seasoning. Serve immediately, with steamed rice.

Yield: Four servings. Chili and onion pork

This is a popular Singapore dish, prepared with either fish steaks, chicken or pork chops. 1/2 cup vegetable oil 4 large pork chops 4 red onions, sliced into rings one-eighth-inch thick 4 fresh red chili peppers, cut diagonally into one-eighth-inch pieces 2 tablespoons sugar 1/4 cup dark soy sauce 1/4 cup fresh lime juice 1/2 teaspoon salt.

1. Heat the oil in a wok or large frying pan until the oil smokes. Add the pork chops and cook over moderately high heat until cooked through, about 10 to 15 minutes on each side. Drain and remove pork chops to a warm plate and keep warm while preparing the sauce.

2. Leave the hot oil in the pan and, over moderately high heat, add the onions and cook until limp. Reduce heat, add the chilies and cook another five minutes.

3. Add in this order: the sugar, soy sauce, lime juice and salt, and continue cooking for about five minutes over medium-high heat.

4. Return the pork chops to the pan and continue cooking for a few minutes so that the pork absorbs the sauce. Serve immediately with steamed rice. Yield: Four servings.