I'm gonna say it here too. Allow me to be crystal fucking clear.
- It is not cowardly to stay in the closet. Full stop. You do not owe anyone any part of yourself you aren't ready to share
- If you unable to come out because you fear for your safety or well-being or because you know it will cause you substantial discomfort, that is not a defect in you. It's a failure of the society in which you live and the community surrounding you.
- If you just don't want to share that part of yourself, that is valid and I support you
talking to people recently out of prison: a do-and-don't guide
Don't ask, "How was prison?" (Answer: traumatic!)
Do ask, "What are you most looking forward to doing again now that you're out?"
Don't ask, "How long were you in for?" (Answer: too long!)
Do ask, "Is there any technology or pop culture I can help catch you up on?"
Don't ask, "How are you going to avoid getting back into bad behaviors?" (Leave the paternalistic bullshit to their PO.)
Do ask, "How's your support network? Do you have people helping you adjust?"
Don't ask, "Do you have a job yet?" (Their PO is asking them ALL the time, don't worry.)
Do ask, "Are there any opportunities I should keep an ear out for and let you know about?"
Don't ask, "Do you have an ankle monitor?" (And definitely don't ask to see it - no one likes to be gawked at.)
Do ask, "Do you have parole restrictions we need to accommodate when making plans?"
Don't say, "Hey, you shouldn't be doing that - it's against your parole!" (A lot of parole restrictions are bullshit, and they are an adult who deserves agency, even the agency to take risks.)
Do ask, "Are there any bullshit parole restrictions you need help working around?"
Don't ask, "Are you an addict?" (Not everyone in prison is, and they'll tell you if they want you to know.)
Do say, "If there's stuff you might get in trouble for, like empty alcohol containers, I can throw them away at my place."
Don't say, "It's probably best if you put your whole prison life behind you and start fresh." (Just because it was traumatic doesn't mean important experiences and relationships didn't happen there.)
Do say, "If you have letters from friends on the inside that you don't want your PO to find, you can keep them at my place."
Don't say, "You paid your debt to society." (Regardless of what they may have done, harm cannot be repaid through senseless suffering.)
Do say, "You are more than the worst thing you've ever done."
Do not ever ask "What were you arrested for?"/"What did you do?"/"Were you guilty?"
People are more than the worst thing they've ever done.
Hey. Don't do this shit on my posts.
Criminal justice reform cannot be "for everyone except..." It is for everyone.
"Rapist" is not a separate species. Even child sexual abuse is not as strictly pathological as media would lead you to believe. Rape, sexual assault, and child abuse are acts performed by human beings, who have families and social connections. Pretending otherwise makes it harder to identify and prevent them.
Thought patterns like, "My friend's girlfriend says he raped her, but that can't be true, because I know him and he's a good person!" or even, "This person is lying/exaggerating when they say I assaulted them because I'm not a monster!" are born from the assumption that rape can only be committed by some evil, subhuman creature lurking in the bushes. It, of course, also leads to victims saying, "Well, it can't be assault because they're my partner, and they love me."
Furthermore, only offering horrific punishment as justice discourages victims from reporting. Most people who are sexually assaulted are assaulted by friends or family members. I chose not to report a former friend who raped me, because I didn't want to ruin his whole life. He did something awful to me. Afterward, I was dealing with that trauma and betrayal and mourning a friendship that ended. I didn't want, on top of all that, the burden of ruining the life of someone I cared about. If I could have asked our justice system for what I needed then, I would ask for a safely mediated conversation with him. I would have asked for him to go to therapy. I would ask for reassurance, over time, that this was a terrible one-time mistake and he never did it again. The justice system said, ruin his life or go it alone. I went it alone.
Finally, I find it insulting that you would forgive murderers before rapists. I have been raped. My life is precious to me. To say that rape is worse than murder is to say that rape survivors are better off dead. To plant that seed in the mind of someone who will be raped in the future is to tell them, in that already horrible moment, that this experience is breaking them in a way that can never heal. That is a lie. People heal from it all the time, and they live whole, precious lives after. Rape is awful, but I would rather be raped again than be murdered. I would rather live.
That you would, in that same sentence, express your own murderous impulses, is deeply disturbing.
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог honeydew-wecantwo all-for-the-transids Читать Example - requested by nobodyTranschunnibyo — A transid for someone that feels like they should be a chunnibyo, or identifies as a chunnibyo for any reasonExample - requested by nobodyCischunnibyo — A cisid for someone who identifies as being a cischunnibyo for whatever reasonExample - requested by nobodyMUTOchunnibyo — Someone who is a cischunnibyo but calls themselves transchunnibyo for whatever reason୨ৎ Transition ethics: Safe and recommended!⟡ Transition tips:1 。Choosing a part of your body to hold your power/magic! Often, they are one of your eyes or one arm, but it can be anywhere 2 。Using an item as to bind the power! Usually it is an eyepatch or non-stick bandages, but again it can be anything 3 。Being a chunnibyo is rooted in the delusion of having magic or power, so giving yourself the delusion you have magic/powers. 4 。Write about your magics and powers, the limitations of it, how it came to be, and what it can do. 5 。Create an antithesis to your powers/magic, a force for you to go against. An example of an antithesis is the Dark Reunion, made by Kaidou Shun in TDLOSK. 6 。Watch shows or play games with chunnibyos in them, or watch shows/play games with magic in them. Examples are The Disasterous Life Of Saiki K; Chunnibyo, Love, And Other Delusions; Mashle: Muscles And Magic"Chūnibyō is a Japanese colloquial term typically used to describe early teens who have grandiose delusions, who desperately want to stand out, and who have convinced themselves that they have hidden knowledge or secret powers. It translates to "middle-second syndrome"."#medically unrecognized disorder#my umbrella terms
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог xxlovelynovaxx kipplekipple Читать I can’t believe this needs to be said, but…- Withholding medication from a disabled person is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.- Withholding mobility equipment from a disabled person is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.- Withholding stim toys, comfort items or similar from a disabled person is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.- Stopping a disabled person from using harmless routines or coping mechanism is not a joke, it’s not a punishment, it’s abuse.Stop.trenching-timelord Same goes for communication devices.kipplekipple Sorry, absolutely right. And for refusing to let someone communicate using sign language.toasterthreaddaddy Читать also don’t mess with these tools. It’s not funny to change the cane height of your friend to see if they’ll notice because ur putting them at higher risk for injury.
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог avoidagile get-absolutely-funky Читать another day, another coin! :)!!TRANS-SHOPLIFTER!![Plain text: Trans-Shoplifter]A transID for when you identify as a shoplifter.As always, anyone can use this label. No credit is needed, but don't claim you made it.#ids
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог avoidagile silliest-fckindumbboy Читать New anon gave me a deep need 💜💜💜 So!Translabrat (TransLabRat)Someone who feels they are/should be a lab rat in any way (literal or figurative) for any reason! [If this has been coined, consider this an alt!]#ids
kowalapantheon Читать Just posting this bc I realised I completly forgot to add it to my newest pinned but I don't answer DMs, they make me incredibely anxious for reasons I cannot explain. I would turn them off if it where an option but it unfortunately isn't. I have just updated the pinned to include it.#I still appreciate the kind words tho
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог coyotecoining Читать INFINSICK@ T3RM F0R TH0Z3 VVITH @N INFINIT3 @MOUNT OF DISE@ZEZ!C0IN3D BY M3, G@L@XY!!1!!!!!! XDDDDDDDDD L0L D0 N0T UZE IF U ARE A MEANIE!(hi-ho! guys! kermit fronting. we recently found out galaxy is unable to read but can write and type. how she made this is beyond any of us. so, uh, feel free to use this term!)#medically unrecognized disorder#medically unrecognized sickness#xenomalady#my umbrella terms
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог chartreuseschaos teatual Читать This pride can we abandon the phrase "are you normal about" and then keep it abandoned forever and ever pleaseteatual You all will literally say "but are you normal about trans people or disabled people or fat people or mentally ill people or" as if those people aren't considered deeply abnormal in society and still imply being normal = morally virtuous without a hint of irony and I can't believe it's still acceptable to do
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог space-lovez-kittiez unifreak Читать Folx who identify with transids for fun or fetish reasons are just as valid as those who identify with transids because of dysphoria btwkowalapantheon Читать Also they're not mutally exclusive! I have identies related to my fetishes and kinks that I still feel dysphoria over!
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог avoidagile corpse-freak Читать TransCsectionscar (trans c section scar) !!!a transid where someone believes they should/wants to have a c section scar for whatever reasons no DNI just be nice #ids#possibly
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог cultpilled genderqueerdykes Читать you're allowed to love being trans if you:just came outhavent transitioned and dont plan tohave known you are trans for years but kept it to yourselfdon't want surgery or hormonesdont disclose your trans status or genders to other peopledont change your namenever have dysphoriayour transness is tied to your neurodivergenceyour transness is tied to your nonhuman identitydont feel like you have a gender or gendered experiencefeel like gender isn't really that importantare intersexare two-spirit, hijra, or have another cultural gender or expression identity, or "third gender"are a person of colorare an afab demigirlare an amab demiboyhave a complex identityhave a very simple identitycant figure out your gender for the life of youcross dressdo dragpresent socially in ways that are "normal" for your agabhave crushing dysphoriadon't know how to passpass effortlesslyare a butch trans womanare a femme trans manare demigenderdon't like to be reminded you're transhave a very specific genderhave a gender that's specific to you and you alone have hated being trans at one pointstopped transition and restarted it at some pointhave had to change your gender, name, pronouns or presentation multiple timeschange presentation a lothave a gender that's hard or impossible to put into wordsdont want to figure out what your gender is exactlyare plural/a systemare genderfluid, gnc, genderqueer, multigender, polygender, genderflux, neutrois, maverique or genderfuckare xenogenderare a lesbian or gayare transneutralare transfemasc/transmascfem..... are trans.every trans person is allowed to love being trans. good day, love yourself today!
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог kowalapantheon Читать I got really exciting terms for you today. (well I'm excited about them and hope you will be to). This will be a bit of a long post tho as the terms do require quite a bit of explanation.So I often see people within the transid community discuss the way we view our identities, some people view their transids as something they want to be, other view it as something they truely are inside that isn't reflected by their reality, others see it as something the should be, others as mixtures of all those and others as a completly different exprience.I have seen some suggest that a term should be coined to differentiate between these different expriences but usually by saying only one of those ways is "actuallly trans" and those with other expriences should use a different term. I disagree with that notion as I think all these expriences (and more) can come under the transid umbrella.Tho, I would still like a term to describe these expriences, especially as I exprience multiple of them. My transeplipsey id is definitely a want, a desperate and strong desire to have eplipsey whereas my transblack identity is more about who I feel I am inside. So I'm coining transtypes! Transtypes are a way to describe how you exprience your transness and explictly affirms all these expriences are trans in the name itself. I am coining 4 of these transtypes today to give you guys an example of they work. I highly encorage you to coin terms to describe your own transids if none of the below do it for you(and even make alt flags for the the terms I do coin if you don't vibe with mine).DesireTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as a desire/want to be their id.The "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g DesireTransepilepsey for someone who wants epilepsey.ShouldTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as a feeling they should be their id.The "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g ShouldTransdemon for someone who feels they should be a demon.ChangeTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as something they changed into through their transtion(or will change into through their transtionThe "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g ChangeTranswoman for someone who feels they changed into a woman through their transtion.SelfTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as something they truely are on the inside.The "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g SelfTransblack for someone who feels they are black on the inside.Also incase it wasn't clear, you use multiple of these at once, for different ids or for the same id. and you are also under no obligation to use these labels. These are microlabels and if you don't have to tell others your trans exprience if you don't want. I'm not gonna force labels on anyone.#boost
kowalapantheon Читать So in izombie a funny quirk they give their zombies is that they have weakened taste buds so exclusively consume spicy foods as that is the only thing strong enough for them to taste. Which just doesn't sit right with me for 2 reasons: 1. Some people don't like spicy food. The body's sensory senstivites are very strong, even if it was the only thing we could taste we would still proably never eat it.2. Why only spicy food??? If the explanation is "weakened taste buds" then why can't they consume other strong flavours.You could play around with it so much more that way as well, for example:Zombie completly obessed with super sour candies like toxic waste.Zombie who mixes 10 different chocolate flavoured things to make incredibly sickly treats.Zombie who puts aside the flavour packet for their ramen everyday, flavouring it with the standard hot sauce instead until they collect a lot and then mix them all into one batch.Zombie who eats the super bitter high percentage dark chocolateZombie who works as a chef so reworks all their recipes to have much stronger flavours, all the other zombies come to their house all the time for meals.Zombie who is definitely not a chef trying to do the same thing and almost dying bc they went a little overboard and ended up with toxic levels of flavouring. Thankfully zombies have some resistance to posion as their slow circulation means stuff doesn't travel as quickly around their system.Zombie who makes the vanilla extract cake and fucking loves it bc its actually something they can taste.It's so much more fun that way! So much more could have been done with this! The zombies could have been even more quirky! -Liv#izombie
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог avoidagile space-lovez-kittiez Читать Transbusrider!TransBusRider - a translocation(?) term for beings who feel as thoug they should / identity with riding a bus, should ride a bus, or being on a bus in some way! (Any type of bus)Permabusrider!PermaBusRider - a translocation(?) term for beings who feel as thoug they should / identity with permanently riding a bus, or being on a bus in some way! (Any type of bus and can be used by Cis- & Trans- bus riders)My brother inspired this lol >ν< for the perma- flag I tried to make the colors look like they dirtied / rusted / molded with time XPPlease don't claim flags as your own! if these terms already exists consider these alt flags or recoins!#ids#(questioning)
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог avoidagile zuskiscoiningflagz Читать — TransLostPuppySyndrome [ Trans-Lost-Puppy-Syndrome ]When an individual wants to / identifies as having Lost Puppy Syndrome even though they don't have it !Small explanation under the cut Читать дальше#medically unrecognized disorder#my umbrella terms
kowalapantheon сделал(а) реблог kowalapantheon Читать I got really exciting terms for you today. (well I'm excited about them and hope you will be to). This will be a bit of a long post tho as the terms do require quite a bit of explanation.So I often see people within the transid community discuss the way we view our identities, some people view their transids as something they want to be, other view it as something they truely are inside that isn't reflected by their reality, others see it as something the should be, others as mixtures of all those and others as a completly different exprience.I have seen some suggest that a term should be coined to differentiate between these different expriences but usually by saying only one of those ways is "actuallly trans" and those with other expriences should use a different term. I disagree with that notion as I think all these expriences (and more) can come under the transid umbrella.Tho, I would still like a term to describe these expriences, especially as I exprience multiple of them. My transeplipsey id is definitely a want, a desperate and strong desire to have eplipsey whereas my transblack identity is more about who I feel I am inside. So I'm coining transtypes! Transtypes are a way to describe how you exprience your transness and explictly affirms all these expriences are trans in the name itself. I am coining 4 of these transtypes today to give you guys an example of they work. I highly encorage you to coin terms to describe your own transids if none of the below do it for you(and even make alt flags for the the terms I do coin if you don't vibe with mine).DesireTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as a desire/want to be their id.The "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g DesireTransepilepsey for someone who wants epilepsey.ShouldTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as a feeling they should be their id.The "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g ShouldTransdemon for someone who feels they should be a demon.ChangeTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as something they changed into through their transtion(or will change into through their transtionThe "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g ChangeTranswoman for someone who feels they changed into a woman through their transtion.SelfTransidSomeone who expriences their transid as something they truely are on the inside.The "id" part can be replaced with the specfic identity in question e.g SelfTransblack for someone who feels they are black on the inside.Also incase it wasn't clear, you use multiple of these at once, for different ids or for the same id. and you are also under no obligation to use these labels. These are microlabels and if you don't have to tell others your trans exprience if you don't want. I'm not gonna force labels on anyone.