Molly's eyes snapped open as sh e heard the quick snap of her bedroom door wished she hadn't as the extent of her hangover hit full force.

" Eddie is that you again? " She called, rubbing her eyes and leaving black glittery smudges on her hand.

" No, 'tis I, fair lady. " Answered a stuffy, upper class voice. Someone opened the door and strode in, it was a man about 10 years her senior, with floppy ginger hair. He had a desperate, panicked look in his blue green eyes.

" And who the bloody hell are you? " She asked grumpily, fishing around in her bedside drawer for an aspirin. God's sake, Eddie didn't half bring in some bloody weirdos.

" I young lady, am Mr Richard Richard, the owner of this establishment. Everything in this room belongs to me, and that makes you.." He gave a wink " Mine".

" Eddie!? " Shouted Molly uncertainly, the covers pulled right up to her neck, " Eddie?! "

The man was slowly sitting down on the bed, a manic grin plastered onto his face as he began to mildly hyperventilate. Sweat misted upon his forehead and upper lip.

" Don't be frightened my dear. "

" EDDIE? YOU DRUNKEN GIT, GET YOUR SOZZLED ARSE UP THOSE STEPS YOU PICKLE LIVERED PRICK " She screamed, trying to kick Richie as he began to reach towards her.

*CRASH*

Eddie tumbled through the door, wielding an empty bottle of Malibu, promptly smashing Richie across the head with it. Richie's eyes rolled back into his head as he crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

" Where the bloody hell were you? " Molly snapped.

" Well you can't expect me to hit him with a full bottle of booze! " Exclaimed Eddie incredilously. " Cor, you got a sexy nighty on under there? "

" Eddie, what I've got on shouldn't be seen by male eyes "

" But..but my eyes are female, see? " Argued Eddie, pulling up his glasses and fluttering his eyelashes.

" Poof! Now Eddie, kindly take your odd friend downstairs, let me get changed, and I'll make us some brekkie "

" Eggs and Soldiers? "

" Eggs and Soldiers."

Eddie promptly grasped Richie by the feet and began to drag him down the stairs, Richie's head slamming loudly as they went.

" Bloooody hangover " Molly moaned, glad to be alone in the room. She promptly jumped out of bed, clad in an old moth eaten Smiths T shirt from her teenage years and a gaudy pair of threadbare tangerine pyjama bottoms. Molly swayed slightly as she hunted in the odd smelling wardrobe for something to wear. She came upon an off white turtleneck jumper and a pair of black boot cut jeans. They'd have to do for today, she wasn't feeling brilliant. She jumped into a pair of slippers ( She hadn't managed to clean the whole flat yet), and strode downstairs to the bathroom.

Molly felt much better after a good face wash, she didn't have panda rings around her green eyes now. A quick application of foundation was all that was needed. She quickly brushed her hair which was dyed a mousy blonde with dark roots beginning to show through, and heavily side parting her hair, teasing for volume. Molly gave a grunt of satisfaction and strode into the front room.

Eddie was sprawled on the sofa, limbs akimbo and watching the news. He was sipping from a can of Special Brew and making appreciative noises at the telly. Richie was nowhere to be seen.

" Anything decent on? " She asked, plopping down next to him. Eddie made a loud scoffing noise.

" Sue Carpenter " He sighed dreamily

" How the hell does she get her hair that straight? "

" I dunno...spirit level? "

" Didn't know they were allowed to get pissed on the news? "

" That's my dream job right there, spirits and Sue, the SS! I'd join."

" God Eddie, if she were a man.."

" I know..." He smiled dreamily, before he and Molly exchanged shocked glances.

" I'll stick breakfast on! "

" Righto! "

Molly quickly scampered over to the now spotless kitchen, eager to escape the awkward moment. She quickly filled the kettle for a quick cuppa and set it on the stovetop, lighting the gas. She opened the cupboard to grab a saucp-

" Aaaah! " She screamed, backing away as Richie fell out.

" Nononono " Begged Richie as he smacked onto the tiled floor, losing a few teeth in the process.

" Eddie! How could you..betray me like thiis?! " He moaned dramatically from the floor, turning to Eddie who had looked over in slight interest. " How could you let a woman come between us?! "

" I beg you're pardon! " Shouted Molly, her cheeks reddening, Richie ignored her.

" Is it because she's younger than me? Prettier? " He poked himself in the buttocks and gulped " Firmer? "

" YES! I couldn't take it anymore Richie, you've let yourself go, you lump of wibbling tripe flavour shite."

" Now you listen to me buster! " Growled Richie, striding over to Eddie and pointing aggressively. " Now this is my house! My roof! And sohelpmegawd as long as you live under it -"

" This is YOUR house? " Shrieked Molly, her eyes switching between Eddie and Richie wildly " Eddie? What?"

" Never said it was mine " Eddie pointed out

" Balls, I see your point."

" Oh, these trousers just shrunk in the wash."

" Oh ha ha haaa Eddie " Richie said sarcastically, grabbing his stomach in fake mirth. " Aren't you just a bundle of laughs this morning? Penis jokes? In front of a bird? How awfully pleb! "

Richie turned and strode over to Molly, grasping her hand in his own, surprisingly warm one. " I'm sorry if his crude language is upsetting you, my dear."

" No, it's fine, it's all fine." Gushed Molly, feeling nervous at Richie's proximity.

"Yeeess " He drawled in a slightly posher accent " Yes. You are rather fine aren't you? "

Molly squeaked as Richie cleaved her into his front and buried his face in her fluffy hair, whispering in a husky voice so low Eddie couldn't hear " You know, since I'm the landlord, if you're ever low on funds, you could..you could pay in other ways." Mistaking the woman's face for confusion, he elaborated " Like doing it with MEEEAAAARRRRGH " Molly had grabbed on to testicles and twisted them, hard.

As she walked back into the kitchen to angrily begin preparing breakfast, Richie came to a realisation. A girl had touched his knob.

A/N: Yay! Another chapter done! Seems like this archive isn't very active, but this is my little pet project so I don't mind, if anyone's there please review xx